"Tanksis" Turn London Into a Battlefield

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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"Tanksis" Turn London Into a Battlefield

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Electronic Arts marked the European release of Battlefield 3 by unleashing a fleet of 33,000 pound "tanksis" to ferry commuters around the city of London.

With a top speed of 29 mph, the FV433 "Abbot" isn't going to get you from point A to point B in any kind of record-setting time. It's also probably not the quietest or most comfortable ride you've ever had, and I imagine the fuel economy isn't great either. Parallel parking is probably a nightmare.

On the other hand, it's a tank, so the odds of you being cut off [and flipped off] by one of the many jerkwad idiots who prowl the roads on a daily basis is probably pretty thin. Armor plating and a 105mm gun has a way of getting people's attention. And did I mention they weigh 33,000 pounds?

Commuters in London didn't get to drive them but a lucky few did get a ride on the "tanksis" that EA turned loose on the city to mark the launch of Battlefield 3 [http://www.amazon.com/Battlefield-3-Xbox-360/dp/B003O6G5TW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1319820825&sr=8-1]. Even better, the rides were free, although I'd happily pay a fare for a tank ride across the city. The tanksis ran all day yesterday around Big Ben, Trafalgar Square, Westminster and Buckingham Palace, and returned to action today.

"Tanksis have been brought to the Capital to make the urban battlefield that is London's roads more of a joy than the daily chore they currently are," said EA's Tom Golberger. "We wanted to launch Battlefield 3 in style and are looking forward to ferrying excited game fans and commuters around the city today."

First FEARcats [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/89395-Make-Way-For-The-FEARcats], now tanks. Why does London always get the cool stuff?


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illmuri

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Jan 24, 2011
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First FEARcats, now tanks. Why does London always get the cool stuff?
It happens that its legal to drive a tank on public streets in London, where in the US you can only drive on private roads. Perhaps we should get the Occupation protestors to add in that we want our tank-driving rights added.
 

Sparrow

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Feb 22, 2009
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Oh, man, I love my country sometimes. It's not "oh my God there's a fucking tank!", it's more "get a picture of me on top of this thing! This is going as my profile picture!"
 

jurnag12

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Nov 9, 2009
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And for Skyrim, free horse-rides in carriages covered with dragon murals.
Well, one can hope.....
 

Hamish Durie

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Apr 30, 2011
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remind me to use the "it's a marketing stunt for my game" reason to get tanks into citys when I take over the world
 

imnot

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Apr 23, 2010
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Andy Chalk said:
First FEARcats [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/89395-Make-Way-For-The-FEARcats], now tanks. Why does London always get the cool stuff?
DOnt forget the Spartan with the working jetpack we got when Halo reahc came out!

Problem USA?
jurnag12 said:
And for Skyrim, free horse-rides in carriages covered with dragon murals.
Well, one can hope.....
Lets just get a dragon shall we, mix dinosaur DNA from amber ocvered mosqitos with bat DNA.
 

OutsiderEX

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Jul 18, 2011
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I'd just like to put on my best nasally voice and point out the the Abbot is a self propelled gun, not a tank; it's essentially an armoured mobile artillery piece not a vehicle designed to fight directly against other armour, infantry, etc.

Also, I ain't seen them and I live in the middle of London. That said, I have been inside for most of the last few days as essay deadlines loom.

Pedantry away!
 

Jandau

Smug Platypus
Dec 19, 2008
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Wow, EA's marketing department seems to have gotten its head out of its arse, that was actually pretty cool!
 

Muco5681

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Apr 2, 2010
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"And for Skyrim, free horse-rides in carriages covered with dragon murals.
Well, one can hope....."

then saints row gotta be pink dildo wielding semi nude women with a huge chest drop kicking true the window of a car...you know now that i think of it that would be awesome!
 

OutsiderEX

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Jul 18, 2011
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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
jurnag12 said:
And for Skyrim, free horse-rides in carriages covered with dragon murals.
Well, one can hope.....
Tzzz, filthy casual. They should unleash a massive dragon onto the city, letting it run amok, setting fire to buildings while picking up screaming humans from a fleeing crowd, tossing them into oblivion.

OT: Ya know, sometimes, just sometimes, I think I would like to live in a big city, just because of the buzzing atmosphere and things like this.

Then I slap myself, drive to Cologne, take in the noise, fumes and crowds of people and that feeling disappears.
Perhaps for Ace Combat, Bamco should have had airstrikes arranged on major cities with leaflet drops. Nothing generates interest then being strafed by fast moving strike craft using blanks before getting covered in promotional material.
 

Neverhoodian

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Apr 2, 2008
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imnotparanoid said:
Andy Chalk said:
First FEARcats [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/89395-Make-Way-For-The-FEARcats], now tanks. Why does London always get the cool stuff?
DOnt forget the Spartan with the working jetpack we got when Halo reahc came out!

Problem USA?
Nah, it's cool. We prefer to kick it "old skool" when it comes to military hardware:
 

maturin

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Jul 20, 2010
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OutsiderEX said:
Perhaps for Ace Combat, Bamco should have had airstrikes arranged on major cities with leaflet drops. Nothing generates interest then being strafed by fast moving strike craft using blanks before getting covered in promotional material.
I'm sure the 30mm shell casings falling through the glass of rooftop greenhouses would cause quite a stir.
 

Giest4life

The Saucepan Man
Feb 13, 2010
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Damn this is some unfair bullcrap. Nothing like this can ever be pulled off on the streets of Washington D.C.
 

ShindoL Shill

Truely we are the Our Avatars XI
Jul 11, 2011
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Paragon Fury said:
I want a tank! To drive on the streets of New York!
i want a tank too!
to DRIVE THROUGH THE HOMES OF MY ENEMIES!
*cue my utterly psychotic surprisingly non-drugged up murder-cackle*
ahem.

cool.
 

verindae

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May 22, 2010
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OutsiderEX said:
I'd just like to put on my best nasally voice and point out the the Abbot is a self propelled gun, not a tank; it's essentially an armoured mobile artillery piece not a vehicle designed to fight directly against other armour, infantry, etc.

Also, I ain't seen them and I live in the middle of London. That said, I have been inside for most of the last few days as essay deadlines loom.

Pedantry away!
I'm glad you pointed that out so i didn't have to :p
 

Formica Archonis

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Nov 13, 2009
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Andy Chalk said:
Parallel parking is probably a nightmare.
Depends on the tank's drive system. If the tracks can be run completely independently of each other you can run one tread forward and one backwards, rotating in place. (It's called a "neutral turn".) Pull alongside space, rotate 90 degrees, drive in, rotate back.

Also, run over cars in the way.