NASA Now Accepting Astronaut Applications

Mike Kayatta

Minister of Secrets
Aug 2, 2011
2,315
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NASA Now Accepting Astronaut Applications


Unemployed? Fill out an online application for NASA and who knows, maybe you'll end up in space with a paycheck.

With national unemployment at regrettably high levels, many people in America are spending their days looking past Tupperware bowls of chicken-flavored ramen noodles to crappy job postings in the classifieds. Some of these unfortunates will do almost anything to pay the rent, things like scrubbing out public venue urinals, grilling fast food mystery meat grease-burgers, or wearing elaborate mascot costumes at busy intersections with a sign in one hand and a soulless wave in the other. These determined Americans are filling out standard job applications everyday to be janitors, consumer sales representatives, telemarketers, astronauts ... wait a moment, did I just say astronauts? I suppose I did. Good news, everyone! NASA might want to pay you to go to space, and you can apply for the job [http://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/302967000] from the same computer you're using to read this very sentence.

NASA may have put out an unheard-of open application call for wannabe spacemen and spacewomen, but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. For starters, you'll need US citizenship, a height that falls between 5'2 and 6' (sorry, Stretch), 20/20 vision, a Bachelor's degree in engineering, biological science, physical science, computer science, or mathematics, and three years of relevant professional experience or 1,000 hours of pilot-in-command time in a jet aircraft. Hopefully, by "relevant professional experience" they don't actually mean "has already explored space." I wonder if they'd count the more than three years I've spent watching Star Trek, Firefly and Futurama ...

If you look good on paper, your next hurdle will be a yearlong follow up that includes extensive interviews and medical exams. According to NASA, they'll be looking for a few key traits in potential space-farers. "Creativity. Ambition. Teamwork. A sense of daring. And a probing mind," the official site reads. "That's what it takes to join NASA, one of the best places to work in the Federal Government."

If you pass through the application process, you'll be invited into the Astronaut Candidate Program, wherein you'll be trained in really boring stuff like how to operate space stations, build robots, learn the entire Russian language, and fly spaceships. Depending on how well you do with all that jazz determines whether or not NASA actually launches you into space. Even if you didn't learn the Cyrillic alphabet or program Johnny Five [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6iFjM5VSuw] as well as your classmates, you'll still earn anywhere from $64,000-141,000 a year to give it a try.

According to NASA, this job posting goes down January 27th, 2012, so get on it, people! Come on Escapists, I know at least one of you has the mettle to be the next Neil Armstrong, Sally Ride, or Albert II. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkeys_in_space] But just remember, if one of you does go on to colonize Mars one day, my referral bonus is a palatial estate on the Valles Marineris.

Would you like to know more? Check out NASA's recruitment video above.

Source: Mashable [http://mashable.com/2011/11/16/nasa-astronaut-job/]

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TimeLord

For the Emperor!
Legacy
Aug 15, 2008
7,508
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Mike Kayatta said:
If you look good on paper, your next hurdle will be a yearlong follow up that includes extensive interviews and medical exams.
I'm guessing asthma is one of those things that will stop you going into space...

No matter! I'm applying anyway!

EDIT: Oh wait, I can't.

"This announcement is open to all qualified U.S. citizens."
 

Wieke

Quite Dutch.
Mar 30, 2009
391
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Damnit I only meet the height requirement.


Having said that, good to see they're still hiring. Was afraid things like this would be completly done away with in the name of spending cuts.
 

weirdee

Swamp Weather Balloon Gas
Apr 11, 2011
2,634
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A bachelor's degree in some sort of science, AND 20/20 vision? What are they, crazy?
 

cynicalsaint1

Salvation a la Mode
Apr 1, 2010
545
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Hey I have a BS is Computer Science and over 3 professional years experience in my field! I could go for this!

Granted there's next to no way I'd get in - at the very least I need to get laser eye surgery, and then I'd have to go up against our nation's best and brightest - and something tells me that my skills and knowledge aren't entirely relevant to Space exploration ...

But hey, who knows - maybe they do need a .NET Developer ... Or Java ... I can do Java, or C++ ... just as long as it isn't VB - I hate VB -.-
 

castlewise

Lord Fancypants
Jul 18, 2010
620
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Wieke said:
Damnit I only meet the height requirement.


Having said that, good to see they're still hiring. Was afraid things like this would be completly done away with in the name of spending cuts.
Dammit. I meet every requirement *except* the height requirement. I had hoped that had changed since they last hired astronauts. Proof that there is no god I guess. Or that there is one and he's a d-bag. (I'm not bitter, really...)
 

Mumorpuger

This is a...!
Apr 8, 2009
606
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I'm going to apply for this. If I get the job, can I write you an exclusive article.....

IN Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!!!!!!! ?
 

RA92

New member
Jan 1, 2011
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And a probing mind.

Oh yeah baby, I love probing! I probe into everything!

... learn the entire Russian language...

Well, duh. How else would you use the Russian Soyuz rockets, which is America's only way for going to space now.
 

Alar

The Stormbringer
Dec 1, 2009
1,356
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Alas, that's too many requirements for a guy just out of college and no flight experience. Oh well! Good luck, you pioneers of space!
 

Mumorpuger

This is a...!
Apr 8, 2009
606
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Mike Kayatta said:
NASA Now Accepting Astronaut Applications
I just wanted to give you a heads up that my application and resume are submitted. Cross your fingers for me.
 

Mike Kayatta

Minister of Secrets
Aug 2, 2011
2,315
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Mumorpuger said:
Mike Kayatta said:
NASA Now Accepting Astronaut Applications
I just wanted to give you a heads up that my application and resume are submitted. Cross your fingers for me.
Even my toes are crossed. Don't forget about my palatial estate.