Wipe Your Backside With Moby-Dick

The Wooster

King Snap
Jul 15, 2008
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Wipe Your Backside With Moby-Dick


Someone is selling a ... 'unique' copy of Melville's Moby-Dick on eBay.

I really do mean 'unique'. This particular copy of the great American novel was hand-typed onto rolls of toilet paper. [http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260942277357#ht_1128wt_881] An ultra-softcover, if you will.

The current, and only, bid stands at $199.95 US dollars. It doesn't reach the auction's reserve, so you've still got a chance to become the proud owner of this fabulous example of raw, human determination.

Why? I'll leave that to seller the_heppcat:

"My friend and I once joked that toilet paper should have instructions printed on them for certain people," says the listing. "One day, the conversation grew from there and turned into a wager that i couldn't (or wouldn't) be able to type out a novel on toilet paper."

Heppcat evidently won that bet, after managing to squeeze the entirety of Melville's 200,000-word-plus warning against the dangers of unfettered whale-hate onto four-and-a-bit rolls of clean, 2-ply, Cottonelle toilet paper. Only the best bog-roll will do for classic literature.

"I've kept this mod oddity in a box in a cool, dry place for the last 10 years and have only broken it out to prove to doubters that I actually did it," continues the listing. "Considering what it's been through, it's in amazing condition."

Indeed. From Hell's heart, I wipe at thee.




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Zen Toombs

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Nov 7, 2011
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Grey Carter said:
An ultra-softcover, if you will.
That was terrible.

*Looks at the rest of the article*

Wow, that's a perfect storm of puns. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HurricaneOfPuns]
 

Chicago Ted

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Jan 13, 2009
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Zen Toombs said:
Grey Carter said:
An ultra-softcover, if you will.
That was terrible.

*Looks at the rest of the article*

Wow, that's a perfect storm of puns. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HurricaneOfPuns]
More like a shit storm.

...

Sorry, I just had to.

Also, this would make reading on the toilet so much worse.
 

Waaghpowa

Needs more Dakka
Apr 13, 2010
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Display how you really feel about a particular english classic by getting it on toilet paper.
 

Scrythe

Premium Gasoline
Jun 23, 2009
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Eh, it's nothing nearly as strange as anything you'd see on your everyday restroom graffiti.

Speaking of which, a recent one that amused me was one I found at the mess hall men's room at Allegheny College, PA while I was visiting. Had an arrow pointing to the paper rolls and said "Pull here for a Liberal Arts Degree"
 

Ruedyn

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Jun 29, 2011
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I'll stick to 20 dollar bills thank you very much. Would've gone with call me shitmel, but that was taken... word for fucking word.
 

Tarquin10

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May 2, 2011
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I can think of a few books better suited to that treatment.
I wonder how litigious Stephany Meyer is?
 

Austin Mcgough

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Dec 4, 2011
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Zen Toombs said:
Grey Carter said:
An ultra-softcover, if you will.
That was terrible.

*Looks at the rest of the article*

Wow, that's a perfect storm of puns. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HurricaneOfPuns]

I think you mean a shit storm of puns, my lad
 

keideki

New member
Sep 10, 2008
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I don't know about this guys. If I was going to use classic literature to wipe my derriere I think I would rather use Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.
 

Signa

Noisy Lurker
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Jul 16, 2008
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cue (Moby) Dick-butt jokes.

meh, that was weak. I got nothing.