A Question for Any Straight Girls...

[the December King]

Cis Hetero-White-Male, barging in with a man-splaination!

(it's funny, the Canadian part of me insists I should apologize for this, but got overridden- but joking aside, this is NOT actually me telling anyone what to do, it's just my take on the responses so far.)

Since promptly (if not aggressively) putting down workplace flirting seems to be a fairly consistent reaction to your question, I'd leave women alone at the workplace, and not approach them about it at all, especially as long as it could somehow effect working conditions between you and the other person. Finding a job you can tolerate, much less a career path you have the drive to pursue, can be hard enough without adding the pitfalls and complications of a workplace romantic engagement or even flirtatious behavior.

And, in case you were wondering, it also seems like you are well within your right to tell anyone trying the same to you to fuck off. I don't feel this needs to be as gendered an issue as your original post- everyone should consider the workplace and their future career or financial options, weighed against a risky encounter/communication or even a potential romantic relationship, when these things arise.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

My gf says "only if it's Chris Hemsworth".

 

[kurupt87]

I work in a shared office building. In the building, got businesses of all types.

It absolutely depends on the office atmosphere. I'm a tall, fit and good looking fella. Not to blow my own trumpet too hard.

Two example ladies that work for two different companies, in the cafe/smoking area etc they act the same. In their office, one is no different the other closes down. Only difference, the office atmosphere.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

As a straight guy, I have never felt comfortable being hit on at work, either by a co-worker or otherwise. Its not cool. I'm working, my mating brain is turned off and does not wish to be disturbed nor does the working brain tolerate that.
As far as women go, I'm fairly certain that they're not comfortable or cool with it either, however the person's appearance is. While at work, concentrate on the job. The company pool is not for fishing in and I've personally suspended or fired folks for dipping into the company inkwell (love those metaphors) during company hours. Employees aren't getting paid to hunt for potential s/o's and I've known a lot of bosses who do not tolerate that.
Plus it also opens the company up for some serious sexual harassment suits. So its definitively not in one's best interests to pursue dating interests while at work. Just an all around shitty idea.

 

[Ariseishirou]

It wouldn't be well-received by me personally at work, even if the guy was hot and likeable.

At an office party or coffee after work? Sure, fair game. But I'd like everyone to be professional at the workplace itself.

 

[Silverbeard]

Do not flirt with anyone at work unless you are 100% certain it will be received positively.

No flirting unless one is assured a 100% return on investment? So... basically don't flirt with anyone. Ever.

 

[OneCatch]

Male here, but don't hit on people at work. It's unprofessional, distracting, and causes cohesion problems.
If you, hypothetically, were to develop a massive crush on a colleague then get to know them properly, and maybe sound them out for simple socialising outside of work. That could then develop into something more romantic while remaining outside of work.

But I repeat; don't go around asking people on dates or propositioning them at work.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

No flirting unless one is assured a 100% return on investment? So... basically don't flirt with anyone. Ever.

Yes, "ever". That's what "Don't flirt AT WORK unless you're 100% sure" means. It means "ever". Well done.

 

[stormtrooper9091]

Oh this is exactly the kind of thread I wanted to avoid. But, since you struck a nerve, here's my input:

You must absolutely not under any circumstances hit on anyone from work. Never. Ever. Once you do, there will be loads of trouble. But, every now and again, a person might be right up your alley, be it a legit chemistry thing or a construct of your mind. Thing is, it doesn't matter, as long as outside factors cause you to break, or consider breaking, YOUR OWN RULES. And then, you will constantly be debating what did you say, was it received the way you thought, could you have said anything else or nothing at all, is there a feedback, what kind of feedback it is, whether or not it is important. It's likely to go away eventually but it might not and it may hamper your productivity, interaction ability and it may spark rumors. Those are bad things.

Obviously all of this was told from a personal angle as I'm dealing with a similar issue right now but this thread is not about me nor my feelings. The point is, your coworkers may, possibly, at one point, become more than that. But don't hold your breath. In fact, depending on what kind of person you are, you will be bored of the presence of the same people every day and you will forget any funny ideas and/or you will have to get used to the fact that the level of social interaction in your life will change dramatically.

Another sound advice albeit cheesy is to try and get to know the person you think you like. Since your liking is likely the projection of something else, due to lack of information, by getting to know the person just a bit better should give you a clear idea whether or not to move forward with it.

 

[Silverbeard]

No flirting unless one is assured a 100% return on investment? So... basically don't flirt with anyone. Ever.

Yes, "ever". That's what "Don't flirt AT WORK unless you're 100% sure" means. It means "ever". Well done.

I was referring more specifically to your original advice where you recommended not flirting unless one is 100% sure that the act will be met with positivity. When is flirting ever guaranteed to be received positively?

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I was referring more specifically to your original advice where you recommended not flirting unless one is 100% sure that the act will be met with positivity. When is flirting ever guaranteed to be received positively?

You mean this quote? This one right here?

Do not flirt with anyone at work unless you are 100% certain it will be received positively.

That quote?

There's a clue in there that provides context to this advice! See if you can spot it.

 

[DoPo]

I was referring more specifically to your original advice where you recommended not flirting unless one is 100% sure that the act will be met with positivity. When is flirting ever guaranteed to be received positively?

You mean this quote? This one right here?

Do not flirt with anyone at work unless you are 100% certain it will be received positively.

That quote?

There's a clue in there that provides context to this advice! See if you can spot it.

It's doubly funny, since it's also the the text Silverbeard quoted word for word. Now, he can't go on and say that you've edited your post.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

It's doubly funny, since it's also the the text Silverbeard quoted word for word. Now, he can't go on and say that you've edited your post.

I'm sure it's just my rampaging sex negativity getting the better of me again.

 

[DoPo]

It's doubly funny, since it's also the the text Silverbeard quoted word for word. Now, he can't go on and say that you've edited your post.

I'm sure it's just my rampaging sex negativity getting the better of me again.

You, puritan, you. Once again, going off and telling kids not to reproduce, eh?

I'll suggest playing some games with half naked women in them - that should make your attitude to sex and make you all moden and stuff. Or so I've been told.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I'll suggest playing some games with half naked women in them - that should make your attitude to sex and make you all moden and stuff. Or so I've been told.

I would, but they're not making them any more. Only SJW approved titles now. =(

I'm playing Sim Nunnery Online later tonight if you want to team up.

 

[IceForce]

Do not flirt with anyone at work unless you are 100% certain it will be received positively.

Not meaning to pick at the phrasing here (and then completely miss the context like that other guy did), but how does one be 100% certain of this? (I ask this as someone who is not very good at reading people, and will therefore never be 100% certain of anything regarding this.)

I'm playing Sim Nunnery Online later tonight if you want to team up.

I'd love to, but I can't I'm afraid. I'm too busy playing KillAllMen: The Killering

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Not meaning to pick at the phrasing here (and then completely miss the context like that other guy did), but how does one be 100% certain of this? (I ask this as someone who is not very good at reading people, and will therefore never be 100% certain of anything regarding this.)

I have friends at work I know very well, and who know me very well. We'll occasionally flirt. We know exactly how it is going to be received.

There's another guy at work who works remotely, who decided to flirt with 20 year old girls he never met...commenting on how hot and sexy and tasty they were. It did not turn out well for him.

Just randomly flirting with people in the office, even in ways you might believe are tasteful, is dangerously unprofessional. It could turn out well, it could also cost you a job. Best to be safe.

 

[Silverbeard]

I was referring more specifically to your original advice where you recommended not flirting unless one is 100% sure that the act will be met with positivity. When is flirting ever guaranteed to be received positively?

You mean this quote? This one right here?

Do not flirt with anyone at work unless you are 100% certain it will be received positively.

That quote?

There's a clue in there that provides context to this advice! See if you can spot it.

So... when is flirting with anyone at work guaranteed to be met with positivity?

It's doubly funny, since it's also the the text Silverbeard quoted word for word. Now, he can't go on and say that you've edited your post.

You dishonor me by claiming that I would do such a thing, my good man.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

So... when is flirting with anyone at work guaranteed to be met with positivity?

When you know the person well enough to know what their reaction will be. As demonstrated in my reply to IceForce above.