Absolutely Fed Up With The "Men only care about sex" ideology

Cloned31

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http://rackjite.com/bill-maher-psa-horror-women-using-men-sex/

Recently, I saw a video pertaining to the fact that 43% of young men say they suffer from having unwanted sex with women. Bill Maher made a parody of it, making fun of the idea that men would like it anyway because they're men. I'm sick and disgusted by this and frankly, I wish people like Bill would be put under fire for this. It's gross and the website that I have posted makes it even worse by saying "You know all those stories we hear about women teachers taking sexual advantage of some poor teenage boy? I have always wondered who it is that gets all upset and calls the police. One can pretty much cancel out the boy and his father. Come on Mom, lighten up."

If we are going to stop women abuse and sexualization the least we could do is stop telling the men that all they do is think of sex and that being sexually coerced isn't a bad thing for men.

BTW, I don't care if it's comedy. It's not right.

But I was just wondering your opinions on this because I'm a little peeved at the moment.
 

JoJo

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I don't mind jokes about men really wanting sex, lets be honest most of us are like that, but it similarly grinds my gears when some people try to use those stereotypes to justify child abuse of male victims or any rape really. If you wouldn't say the same about a young girl with an older male partner, considering on average girls mature physically and mentally faster than boys, don't say it. Just don't.
 

TheYellowCellPhone

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I can't tell why you're spreading the fight here when the website you were displeased with is right in front of you. Send a letter to Maher, write to the site owner, don't bring it to some completely unrelated gaming website.

By the way, I give your avatar euphoria/10
 

The Lunatic

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It's a pretty sexist viewpoint to degrade an entire gender's interests and actions down to simply the desire to have sex.
 

dyre

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Honestly, I think the age of consent should be lowered across the board; given the number of teenage relationships (and pregnancies) these days, the whole "18 before sex" thing is just an outdated standard that simply doesn't apply to modern society. If, back when I was 16, I had been fucking some 20 year old college sophomore, I can guarantee you it would not have been sexual abuse. I was mature enough then to understand the repercussions and ethical responsibilities associated with having a relationship, and to think that hypothetical college chick should have been prosecuted is just absurd.

I'm almost tempted to say that the whole policy should be tried in court on a case-by-case basis (put the victim on the witness stand) rather than painted in broad strokes. Some (not all) cases of statutory rape these days seem to be all lettre de loi rather than l'esprit de loi. We hide behind the law to avoid having to ask difficult questions...putting teacher-student statutory rape (which IS problematic as well as extremely unprofessional, given the authority factor. High school is a small place; one cannot afford to have a vengeful teacher) in the same category as consensual relationships between 20 year olds and 16 year olds.

But yeah, the double standard thing is silly; if you're upset at 30 year old male teachers having sex with 16 year old girls, don't excuse 30 year old female teachers having sex with 16 year old guys.
 

Lynx

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Cloned31 said:
If we are going to stop women abuse and sexualization the least we could do is stop telling the men that all they do is think of sex and that being sexually coerced isn't a bad thing for men.
I'm as peeved as you. Imagine if it had been the other way around. Had he been joking about women being coerced into sex but secretly wanting it, he WOULD be put under fire.

Things I'm even more frustrated by are the frighteningly common notions that "men can't get raped", or "men don't get domestically abused." Both are equally ridiculous, but that's not the scary part. The scary part is that people believe this shit, and wave their hands listlessly at you when you try to tell them different. So far I've gotten the "men don't get punched/sexually abused nearly as often", and (after I've shown them the data that proves otherwise) "well it's still not as bad, because it's worse for women."

For a girl who was partly raised by three brothers that I love more dearly than any other people on earth, I get pissed off as hell when I hear people say shit like that. The reason so many people don't know that men do in fact get used, coerced, beaten, et cetera is because nobody talks about it. Nobody wants to talk about it, because that would be uncomfortable, and we sure wouldn't want that.


Sorry if I got heated. I need to go breathe into a bag now. *scowl*
 

Cloned31

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Lynx said:
Cloned31 said:
If we are going to stop women abuse and sexualization the least we could do is stop telling the men that all they do is think of sex and that being sexually coerced isn't a bad thing for men.
I'm as peeved as you. Imagine if it had been the other way around. Had he been joking about women being coerced into sex but secretly wanting it, he WOULD be put under fire.

Things I'm even more frustrated by are the frighteningly common notions that "men can't get raped", or "men don't get domestically abused." Both are equally ridiculous, but that's not the scary part. The scary part is that people believe this shit, and wave their hands listlessly at you when you try to tell them different. So far I've gotten the "men don't get punched/sexually abused nearly as often", and (after I've shown them the data that proves otherwise) "well it's still not as bad, because it's worse for women."

For a girl who was partly raised by three brothers that I love more dearly than any other people on earth, I get pissed off as hell when I hear people say shit like that. The reason so many people don't know that men do in fact get used, coerced, beaten, et cetera is because nobody talks about it. Nobody wants to talk about it, because that would be uncomfortable, and we sure wouldn't want that.


Sorry if I got heated. I need to go breathe into a bag now. *scowl*
I feel your pain. I just got so frustrated listening and watching that I had to leave the room to get some air.

TheYellowCellPhone said:
By the way, I give your avatar euphoria/10
Thank You, LOL It's funny because alot of my friends say stuff like that about that picture.
 

Muspelheim

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Agreed. Harmful stereotypes like this should be challenged, since they are diminishing people into a charicature, and a harmful one at that.

Gender equality is better for everyone, after all.
 

Eamar

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I'm not a man, but yeah I imagine this must suck.

I've always had a lot of male friends, and I think any woman who spends any amount of time around a variety of men in normal, everyday settings should be able to see that the stereotype is bullshit.

[small]For what it's worth, out of my group of friends the one person with any history of using people for sex (and the one with the highest sex drive) is... ummm... me.[/small]
 

Phasmal

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Muspelheim said:
Agreed. Harmful stereotypes like this should be challenged, since they are diminishing people into a charicature, and a harmful one at that.

Gender equality is better for everyone, after all.
Exactly this.
This stereotype has always frustrated me. As someone with a lot of male friends, you wouldn't believe how many times I've heard `LOL they're only your friends cause they want to shag you!`. Yeah, cause men can't actually enjoy a woman's company at all, they're just ruled by the downstairs brain.

I'm not even going to TALK about the disgusting comments that get left on articles about male victims of sexual assault.

Sadly, I think this stupid stereotype just gets repeated all too often that it has pretty much everyone buying into it, even men when talking about themselves.
 

Schadrach

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JoJo said:
I don't mind jokes about men really wanting sex, lets be honest most of us are like that, but it similarly grinds my gears when some people try to use those stereotypes to justify child abuse of male victims or any rape really. If you wouldn't say the same about a young girl with an older male partner, considering on average girls mature physically and mentally faster than boys, don't say it. Just don't.
Like this?

http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/928/1949/original.jpg

Sorry for the ridiculously huge image, but most of the comments in that exchange, and most comments referencing the comments in that exchange have been taken down, likely because Adele Mercier threatened to sue them. I say this because another site discussing this exchange (at which Allison Tieman is a contributor) has received threats along those lines at roughly the same time.

To sum up her argument, she basically argues that boys in a juvenile detention facility can consent to sex with female staff, and uses a list of factors describing the contact as evidence of that which would, were the genders reversed, be described as "grooming" or "manipulation", such as giving gifts or photographs or favoritism or talking about their lives outside work.
 

drummond13

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It's called the double standard. Men and women are thought of rather unfairly in a variety of different ways.

Men have far from the short end of the stick on this one. Of course, that also means we get a lot less sympathy when something like this comes up. Just the way the world works, I'm afraid.
 

SonOfVoorhees

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Im a man, i like sex and woman. BUT i can still enjoy games/movies about other things. As a sterotype, it fulls flat though it will be a hard one to stop, men have had that going forever. I think thats more about old games where you could only have simple stories Men saving Women worked. Gamers were men and men want to save women. Now days where gaming can have better story lines - this old way of thinking isnt right though its ingrained now as those designers grew up on those "men save woman" games. Its changing, but like everything, it takes time.
 

V4Viewtiful

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Cloned31 said:
http://rackjite.com/bill-maher-psa-horror-women-using-men-sex/

Recently, I saw a video pertaining to the fact that 43% of young men say they suffer from having unwanted sex with women.
Sounds about right, hormones and peer pressure is a killer. but apart from that women do use that as an excuse to abuse young boys especially boys born to a single mom house hold why? Because typically they are referred to as "Men of the house" or similar and men have sex with women. That kind of social degradation contributes to unwanted sexual contact even if they say "Yes".


Sleekit said:
"If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
There's this quote from Lucky Number Slevin

"The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle."
enough people believe a lie, it'll be true.



On a personal note, where were al these women when I was growing up?
I was (and kinda am still) pretty square at that age and was almost invisible to the opposite sex and I keep reading of all these Woman doing the dirty with these kids. I'm no dog but by 15 I probably wouldn't have said no, I suppose i'm glad it didn't happen because with my luck I'd be a dad by now *shudder* Xo
 

ninjaRiv

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I'm pretty sure it was here on the Escapist that someone posted a link to an article where new anchors laughed at a video of a man being raped in (I think) China. If I remember rightly, somebody filmed a drunk woman overpowering a drunk man and raping him, despite pleas to stop. The clip wasn't graphic, as it was part of a news broadcast. But it was presented as one of those final joke stories, and the anchors took the piss and giggled and such. I'm probably exaggerating, but I don't think so. The comments in the link (not the Escapist thread) were as you'd expect; "I bet he enjoyed it."

It's a terrible stereotype and it's gotta be harmful to all rape cases, no matter the gender.

As for the "all men think about is sex" stereotype, I am in agreement with you, it's not cool. Don't get me wrong, I think about sex A LOT. But it's not the only thing I think about. It does bug me, right up there with the "men can't be friends with women" shit.
 

Mikkaddo

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dyre said:
Honestly, I think the age of consent should be lowered across the board; given the number of teenage relationships (and pregnancies) these days, the whole "18 before sex" thing is just an outdated standard that simply doesn't apply to modern society. If, back when I was 16, I had been fucking some 20 year old college sophomore, I can guarantee you it would not have been sexual abuse. I was mature enough then to understand the repercussions and ethical responsibilities associated with having a relationship, and to think that hypothetical college chick should have been prosecuted is just absurd.

I'm almost tempted to say that the whole policy should be tried in court on a case-by-case basis (put the victim on the witness stand) rather than painted in broad strokes. Some (not all) cases of statutory rape these days seem to be all lettre de loi rather than l'esprit de loi. We hide behind the law to avoid having to ask difficult questions...putting teacher-student statutory rape (which IS problematic as well as extremely unprofessional, given the authority factor. High school is a small place; one cannot afford to have a vengeful teacher) in the same category as consensual relationships between 20 year olds and 16 year olds.

But yeah, the double standard thing is silly; if you're upset at 30 year old male teachers having sex with 16 year old girls, don't excuse 30 year old female teachers having sex with 16 year old guys.
The only problem is that 18 isn't the REAL age of consent, it's more a legal "safe zone" because regardless of country, principality, state, province etc. ALL ages of consent are met by 18. Hell in more than one state in the US the legal age is actually 17 or even 16, now, in louisiana if an 18 year old boy is having a sexual relationship with a 17 year old girl, you can damn well BET people are going to get mad, because people don't like to think about the actual rule, since tv is meant to be borderless in certain respects and thus ALWAYS uses 18 as the set in stone age, even on shows that take place in states where it's lower than 18.

However, the over arching issue, I do agree, men aren't always concerned with sex. And also, I've never agreed with the various age of consent rules because it changes so much between state lines, and it is so confusing and blurry with there being various ages but no one realizing there ARE other ages not just 18 across the board. I think an across the board age of consent closer to 15 (meaning closer to the BIOLOGICAL stage at which humans are able to reproduce, you know, when nature is saying "yep, you're ready") coupled with INTELLIGENT course teaching regards to sex ed.

Anyone here been through one recently? because I remember sex ed . . . was back in 7th grade, around 1998, it was 10 minutes of a teacher going "this is a condom it goes on a penis" and then 3 hours discussing the process of birth. Yep, that's going to teach us everything we need to know about the chances of pregnancy from unprotected sex and that sex is not a social achievement to be awarded and a reason for scorn if not attained by the end of highschool (seriously that whole idea about graduating a virgin being somehow bad is confusing as all hell).
 

Nathaniel Grey

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I think you have it confused. The stereotype isn't necessarily all men think about IS sex. But that we think about sex A LOT. A significant degree more that our female counterparts. Maher made a generalization and the thing about a generalization is that you don't need everyone to adhere to it. Perhaps some men don't like unwanted sex. But I'm pretty sure MOST would and that's all a generalization needs in order to be right. The ideology is "Men really like sex." not "Men only care about sex." Maher does not connote that in his talk.
Phasmal said:
As someone with a lot of male friends, you wouldn't believe how many times I've heard `LOL they're only your friends cause they want to shag you!`. Yeah, cause men can't actually enjoy a woman's company at all, they're just ruled by the downstairs brain.
We can enjoy your (females) company but, we still want to shag you. The thought never really goes away.
 

Phasmal

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Nathaniel Grey said:
We can enjoy your (females) company but, we still want to shag you. The thought never really goes away.
I dunno, I don't really buy that.
You want to shag every single female you're friends with, regardless of her looks, personality, etc?
Not to mention, most of my friends are either in steady relationships or directly related to my boyfriend, so that would just be weird.
 

RandV80

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My impression as a guy is that men maybe like the idea of always having sex, but once some maturity/experience sets in you learn that to actually please that many women would be really really hard.