Absolutely Fed Up With The "Men only care about sex" ideology

TheDoctor455

Friendly Neighborhood Time Lord
Apr 1, 2009
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The Lunatic said:
It's a pretty sexist viewpoint to degrade an entire gender's interests and actions down to simply the desire to have sex.
Yep, but because its sexism against men, media outlets and... the vast majority of people don't give a shit.

Because according to our society, only women can be victims of sexism... and only women can be victims of rape.

This is a blatant lie, but when have cultural attitudes let pesky little facts get in the way of their stupidity?
 

Drops a Sweet Katana

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May 27, 2009
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Uhura said:
ninjaRiv said:
I'm pretty sure it was here on the Escapist that someone posted a link to an article where new anchors laughed at a video of a man being raped in (I think) China. If I remember rightly, somebody filmed a drunk woman overpowering a drunk man and raping him, despite pleas to stop. The clip wasn't graphic, as it was part of a news broadcast. But it was presented as one of those final joke stories, and the anchors took the piss and giggled and such. I'm probably exaggerating, but I don't think so. The comments in the link (not the Escapist thread) were as you'd expect; "I bet he enjoyed it."
I think the Escapist thread also had some of those "he got an erection so he must have wanted it" comments. Ughh. People need better sex-ed.
I remember that thread. Bad times, man. I remember pretty much everyone tearing the OP a new one for it.

OT: This is one of the stereotypes/stigmas that I hope dies off as the gender/sex divide closes. It is incredibly toxic, especially when it comes to legal proceedings, where, in cases of rape, women are, understandably, given the advantage(?)(not sure if that's the right word to use) as they do come off worse than men what with unwanted pregnancies and whatnot. That being said, the emotional/psychological damage is pretty much the same in both male and female victims. This is where problems arise with the whole 'Men only WANT sex' stigma, as a case can very easily be dropped or even reversed due to it. Add to that the fact that, while in most cases a man would be perfectly capable of defending himself from forceful unwanted advances, he would be berated for doing so, and possibly charged with assault with little hope of a plea of self defence, and would likely have any trauma as a result dismissed as an 'over-reaction'.
 

MeChaNiZ3D

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I found that hilarious, probably half because it's a parody of the similar issue that women have, except in what I presume to be larger amounts (looked up a few studies, statistics vary but females generally larger), and half because I agree with Bill Maher to an extent. I'd like to know where 43% comes from. That's a fucking massive percentage to be quoted without knowing the nature of the survey.
 

Olas

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Dec 24, 2011
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You don't understand OP, men have historically been the more privileged group and therefore jokes and stereotypes about them are funny, not offensive. Check your privilege next time before you get all upset about being generalized unfairly.

Okay, now in all seriousness, while I do find the double standard obnoxious in principle, I can't really say that it bothers me that much. I know that Maher's statement is just a loose generalization that doesn't apply to me, and I like to think I have thick enough skin to handle it. Perhaps the dichotomy that we should be focusing on isn't male stereotypes vs female stereotypes but innocent stereotypes vs malicious ones. I think it's obvious that regardless of whether you find Maher's statement offensive, he clearly didn't mean to be insulting or disrespectful by it, and I'd hate to live in a world where we're all afraid to make such harmless jokes. I think there's an obvious difference between making a joke about a group of people, and actively discriminating against them in real life.

Also, this is Maher we're talking about. The guy practically prides himself on being an asshole in his comedy.
 

Vault101

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Sep 26, 2010
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I'm not a man but Ive always felt I'd be insulted by the implication "men are simple creatures, they only want sex food and beer DUURR HUURR"

Olas said:
You don't understand OP, men have historically been the more privileged group and therefore jokes and stereotypes about them are funny, not offensive. Check your privilege next time before you get all upset about being generalized unfairly..
I know your joking but...yeah...no

And I do think this stereotype is harmful...it's shamed men if they aparently "don't want sex enough" it perpetuates the idea that "sex sells" which leads to chain mail bikini bulllshit...it drives home the idea that men are somehow entitled to sex like their very lives depend on it (I cheated because she wasn't putting out!) it doesn't help the stereotype that women don't like sex and it reenfirces the ever annoying "boys will be boys" excuse
 

Bluestorm83

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Hear hear. I dislike being characterized as... that. I've got a wonderful, simply MARVELOUS selection of hangups that make sex really, REALLY unappealing at times. Not to say that I wouldn't love to make love to the right girl. But not only are we men more than the sum of our parts, we're certainly not just walking nutsacks and dicks looking to nail anything with an available orifice.

The societal pressure to have what people call a "healthy" sex life is unbelievable these days. I don't want to sleep around, damn it. I don't need that for my self worth. Hell, having mastery over my own instincts is a source of my self worth. I find bragging about sexual exploits to be the most juvenile bullshit out there. It's like a child who puts his father's jacket on and drags around a briefcase that weighs more than he does to pretend to be a grownup. But he's not really working on the Richards' Account, he's pretending. Guys who have sex with tons of women and never stop talking about it, they're just pretending to be adults. Adults have sex that means something and don't tell everyone, because Adults don't need the constant approval of moronic jerkoffs that act cool.

Yes, young men and boys and even adult men are raped and molested and pressured into sex that they don't want. Emotionally, I'm rather timid. Physically, I'm imposing but have little muscle mass and am rather just blessed with fat masses that LOOK like muscle. I could be raped by a particularly strong woman who could overpower me. I would probably have sex with a girl I was trying to court if I felt that the relationship would end if I didn't.

It's incredible, Men are supposed to be paragons of strength and dominance... but also not lord over women. We're supposed to be virile and sexual... but sensitive and soft. We have to HAVE all the answers but not ACT like we have all the answers. Men don't FEEL things, we just drink away our problems.

In today's day and age, NOTHING a Man can do is the right thing to do. And if you are a human being with real vulnerabilities and weaknesses and feelings, and you are coerced into a sexual relationship that you'd rather not be in, Bill Maher will laugh at you.

Deep Breath for me. Ha, that made me remember the old Onyxia fight. Good times.

Anyway, Bill Maher is an asshole. Always has been, always will be. He's an asshole. I'll shout it from the highest peaks. I'll encode it digitally into the DNA of my children. I will descend from the clouds bringing glad tidings of Bill Maher being an asshole to all humanity. I will recreate all of existence, and everyone will know at the most instinctual level that Bill Maher IS, indeed, an asshole.

But hey, if people are willing to pay him to be an asshole, more power to him, this is America. I just hope and pray that Karma isn't a real thing. 'Cause if it is, Bill Maher is right now at this moment huddled crying in a bathroom, thinking desperately of a way to get out of a relationship with a woman who violates him against his will. And I won't laugh about that. I try to be a better man.
 

HoneyVision

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Jan 4, 2013
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shootthebandit said:
What gets me is societie's double standards. Young men are encouraged to sleep with as many women as possible where as young women as seen as sluts if they do the same. Society still hasnt fully moved on from biblical times where women are pure.

Women if you want to sleep with a guy you met once on a drunken night then why not. Why should society put shame on you for enjoying yourself. The 'walk of shame' should be the 'stride of pride'. Guys if you dont want to sleep around and you want to wait then thats pretty noble and respectable.

Sure most guys think a lot about sex. Its a pretty primitive instinct thats hardwired into the brain but its how we act on it that counts. You dont go around raping people and to a lesser extent you dont use people or take advantage of people for sex. Provided both parties consent and know if its a one night stand or something more then its ok. If you promise someone a relationship then dont call them back you are a dick
Don't know what 'society' you're living in, but there are LOTS of people who encourage NEITHER genders to sleep around. ESPECIALLY Christian ones.

This stereotype obviously came from somewhere, so it's not unfounded. But it is becoming more and more outdated as both genders now sleep around a lot.
 

Jacco

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May 1, 2011
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Nathaniel Grey said:
We can enjoy your (females) company but, we still want to shag you. The thought never really goes away.
Yeah, no. Just no. I have mostly female friends and I would never have sex with any of them, even if they threw themselves at me. I respect them more than that and I value them as friends more than someone to stick my penis in.
 

HoneyVision

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Jan 4, 2013
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Bluestorm83 said:
Hear hear. I dislike being characterized as... that. I've got a wonderful, simply MARVELOUS selection of hangups that make sex really, REALLY unappealing at times. Not to say that I wouldn't love to make love to the right girl. But not only are we men more than the sum of our parts, we're certainly not just walking nutsacks and dicks looking to nail anything with an available orifice.

The societal pressure to have what people call a "healthy" sex life is unbelievable these days. I don't want to sleep around, damn it. I don't need that for my self worth. Hell, having mastery over my own instincts is a source of my self worth. I find bragging about sexual exploits to be the most juvenile bullshit out there. It's like a child who puts his father's jacket on and drags around a briefcase that weighs more than he does to pretend to be a grownup. But he's not really working on the Richards' Account, he's pretending. Guys who have sex with tons of women and never stop talking about it, they're just pretending to be adults. Adults have sex that means something and don't tell everyone, because Adults don't need the constant approval of moronic jerkoffs that act cool.

Yes, young men and boys and even adult men are raped and molested and pressured into sex that they don't want. Emotionally, I'm rather timid. Physically, I'm imposing but have little muscle mass and am rather just blessed with fat masses that LOOK like muscle. I could be raped by a particularly strong woman who could overpower me. I would probably have sex with a girl I was trying to court if I felt that the relationship would end if I didn't.

It's incredible, Men are supposed to be paragons of strength and dominance... but also not lord over women. We're supposed to be virile and sexual... but sensitive and soft. We have to HAVE all the answers but not ACT like we have all the answers. Men don't FEEL things, we just drink away our problems.

In today's day and age, NOTHING a Man can do is the right thing to do. And if you are a human being with real vulnerabilities and weaknesses and feelings, and you are coerced into a sexual relationship that you'd rather not be in, Bill Maher will laugh at you.

Deep Breath for me. Ha, that made me remember the old Onyxia fight. Good times.

Anyway, Bill Maher is an asshole. Always has been, always will be. He's an asshole. I'll shout it from the highest peaks. I'll encode it digitally into the DNA of my children. I will descend from the clouds bringing glad tidings of Bill Maher being an asshole to all humanity. I will recreate all of existence, and everyone will know at the most instinctual level that Bill Maher IS, indeed, an asshole.

But hey, if people are willing to pay him to be an asshole, more power to him, this is America. I just hope and pray that Karma isn't a real thing. 'Cause if it is, Bill Maher is right now at this moment huddled crying in a bathroom, thinking desperately of a way to get out of a relationship with a woman who violates him against his will. And I won't laugh about that. I try to be a better man.
A.P.P.L.A.U.S.E

What so many don't realize is that men realistically have it just as bad as women these days, if not worse, because they are ASSAULTED for being too dominating AND for being too submissive, while women are APPLAUDED for being both 'girly' AND feisty and assertive.

A man who likes to be in control is apparently 'making up for insecurities' and a man who is submissive 'isn't man enough'. There's no win. Meanwhile, a woman who is feminine and submissive is considered 'classic' and a woman who is ambitious and bitchy is considered powerful and daring.
 

Vegosiux

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Vault101 said:
I'm not a man but Ive always felt I'd be insulted by the implication "men are simple creatures, they only want sex food and beer DUURR HUURR"
Very true, that implication is incorrect. We men only want beer. That's it. Bring a man a beer, he'll be a happy man. Unless he's a pansy. In which case, bring him a beer. And tell him it's juice. But it's beer, and he'll have a beer. And he'll be a happy man.

Okay, more seriously now then, I agree that this stereotype needs to be dismantled. Now, I'm sure that many men would have no qualms about sleeping with a female friend of theirs if she suddenly showed interest. But that doesn't mean we only stick around because we hope she will. We don't really think about it, but if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then it doesn't even cross our minds.

And yes, I'm saying that the "Nice Guy™" stereotype tends to be a tad rarer in reality than on the internet.
 

Vault101

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Sep 26, 2010
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Jacco said:
Nathaniel Grey said:
We can enjoy your (females) company but, we still want to shag you. The thought never really goes away.
Yeah, no. Just no. I have mostly female friends and I would never have sex with any of them, even if they threw themselves at me. I respect them more than that and I value them as friends more than someone to stick my penis in.
do you not respect people you have sex with?
 

Vareoth

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Human idiocy never ceases to amaze me. The double standard on rape in particular is so easily recognised and yet so many people fail to see this and react accordingly. I can only conclude most people to be both heartless and idiots (like I needed any more evidence). The bad thing is that these sorts of preconceptions will never ever go away.

Bah, this sort of thing makes me want to say a whole lot of unreasonable things about different groups of people but I think it's in the best interest of everyone that I don't write them here. But I am bitter and vengeful like that I guess.
 

Mikkaddo

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Jan 19, 2008
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Tsukuyomi said:
See, the sad part here is that it's not just confusing, it does major fucking damage in some cases. I can't count the amount of times I've been ashamed, or made to feel ashamed, that I am in my late 20s and still a virgin. The media loves shaming me, my friends give me a hard time about it, and it's generally hanging over my head quite a bit. Right up there with being a very large geek.
I'd suggest maybe look for some new friends, personally I didn't lose my virginity till 22, when I told the group of friends I have now, most of them said "ok and?" two of them said they are also virgins and waiting for marraige (one now has a wife and child, the other is engaged) and none of them gave me a hard time . . . unlike most everyone up to that point.
 

zumbledum

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Cloned31 said:
http://rackjite.com/bill-maher-psa-horror-women-using-men-sex/

Recently, I saw a video pertaining to the fact that 43% of young men say they suffer from having unwanted sex with women. Bill Maher made a parody of it, making fun of the idea that men would like it anyway because they're men. I'm sick and disgusted by this and frankly, I wish people like Bill would be put under fire for this. It's gross and the website that I have posted makes it even worse by saying "You know all those stories we hear about women teachers taking sexual advantage of some poor teenage boy? I have always wondered who it is that gets all upset and calls the police. One can pretty much cancel out the boy and his father. Come on Mom, lighten up."

If we are going to stop women abuse and sexualization the least we could do is stop telling the men that all they do is think of sex and that being sexually coerced isn't a bad thing for men.

BTW, I don't care if it's comedy. It's not right.

But I was just wondering your opinions on this because I'm a little peeved at the moment.

Well its patently untrue, i dont want just one thing i want all 3!
 

Treeinthewoods

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Jacco said:
Nathaniel Grey said:
We can enjoy your (females) company but, we still want to shag you. The thought never really goes away.
Yeah, no. Just no. I have mostly female friends and I would never have sex with any of them, even if they threw themselves at me. I respect them more than that and I value them as friends more than someone to stick my penis in.
Respect women too much to have consensual sex with them? How is consensual sex disrespectful? Does your penis only go in women you have no respect for? Does sex destroy friendships?

I would guess that's not exactly what you meant to say, it just jumped out at me and really made me curious...
 

Asita

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Vegosiux said:
Vault101 said:
I'm not a man but Ive always felt I'd be insulted by the implication "men are simple creatures, they only want sex food and beer DUURR HUURR"
Very true, that implication is incorrect. We men only want beer. That's it. Bring a man a beer, he'll be a happy man. Unless he's a pansy. In which case, bring him a beer. And tell him it's juice. But it's beer, and he'll have a beer. And he'll be a happy man.
Sir, I take exception to that! The very idea that I might be bought off with something like beer impugns my very honor, and I expect an apology forthwith! Beer? PAH! Real men will be satisfied by nothing short of whiskey!

Vegosiux said:
And yes, I'm saying that the "Nice Guy?" stereotype tends to be a tad rarer in reality than on the internet.
Funny enough, I strongly suspect that this very perspective that "Men only think with the head between their legs rather than the one on their shoulders" is one of the major causes that leads to "Nice Guy?", or perhaps more accurately, is what allows various men to (wrongly) think that 'niceness' is a rare commodity and precious currency within their sex. Again though, that's just my suspicion.
 

Caiphus

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Mar 31, 2010
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Vault101 said:
do you not respect people you have sex with?
If they had sex with me, they probably didn't respect themselves.

#buttingintopeoplesconversationstomakeshittyjokes
 

Vault101

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Sep 26, 2010
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yeah I was wondering about that..however

Treeinthewoods said:
Does sex destroy friendships?
I think that depends...

I find it weird some people can't wrap their heads around a platonic relationship,some would prefer a freind to a lover. and some people do FWB perfectly find and that works when everyone is on board

when things get serious is when things get complicated
 

SOCIALCONSTRUCT

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Cloned31 said:
I suppose I'm just one of those guys that when I read about some female teacher sleeping with one of her students, I think to myself "that lucky bastard, why couldn't that have been me." South Park sums up my reaction nicely:


I basically agree with the premises implied by Maher [http://rackjite.com/bill-maher-psa-horror-women-using-men-sex/] that men are more sexually aggressive than women and that there is something odd about such high figures for men being coerced into unwanted sex by women. Now even though this isn't stated as such by Maher, this is an effective admission that men and women have real significant biological differences that extend beyond the reproductive organs. In other words, if you're siding with Maher on this then by implication you are, consciously or not, accepting the existence of gender as a real form rooted in biological reality and rejecting the feminist premise that gender is entirely a social construct. The flip side of this is that if you really believe in gender as a social construct and if you're really being intellectually honest then you need to side with the MRAs here and take this stuff dead seriously and what Maher said is horrific, perhaps a career ending gaffe.

Now before somebody jumps down my throat, I'm sure that female on male sexual harassment happens. However, I think it would likely be different in its frequency, the forms that it takes, motives, greater reliance on indirect forms of coercion, etc.