Absolutely Fed Up With The "Men only care about sex" ideology

Treeinthewoods

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May 14, 2010
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Vault101 said:
yeah I was wondering about that..however

Treeinthewoods said:
Does sex destroy friendships?
I think that depends...

I find it weird some people can't wrap their heads around a platonic relationship,some would prefer a freind to a lover. and some people do FWB perfectly find and that works when everyone is on board

when things get serious is when things get complicated
I had sex with a lot of my female friends throughout my fraternity years, all of them still like me. Sex is a physical expression of emotion to me, it demonstrates love, trust and respect. That doesn't mean every person I slept with was "the one" of course but I never disrespected them or felt I should stop being friends afterwards. Usually it's just a case of right time and right mood, people can care about each other and express it without becoming serious or even establishing a friends with benefits type of thing.

Maybe I'm an anomaly, who knows. I just really got weirded out by the assertion that sleeping with someone you are friends with is disrespectful in some way.
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
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Treeinthewoods said:
I just really got weirded out by the assertion that sleeping with someone you are friends with is disrespectful in some way.
yeah me too

sex is different for different people...for some it might seem more trouble than its worth, some people who hang in the same freind groups things can get awkward if it goes sour

mabye for the OP "freinds" and "lovers" are two seperate catagories that can't mix...

which is fine but I still don't see or like the implication with the word "respect" perhaps being seen as "just a freind" means being seen an an "eaqual" and not "object of desire" the implication you value the women for who she is rather than as a thing you can have sex with...which s unfortunatly screwed
 

Keiichi Morisato

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V4Viewtiful said:
Cloned31 said:
http://rackjite.com/bill-maher-psa-horror-women-using-men-sex/
"The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle."
enough people believe a lie, it'll be true.
o
that is why i still have a hard time dealing with people and getting my confidence back. i was bullied and was told that i was nothing, and over the years i have begun to believe that even though intellectually i know that the opposite is true, i still freeze up.
 

iseko

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Hmm... Hmm.... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

I was thinking on how: "yea! that is unfair! Women can be sexually assaulted but not men?"

But then I was thinking: "in all my 25 years, have I ever had sex against my will? Is that even possible?"
Hence the: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Answer: nope, never. I have 'NOT had sex' against my will. As in: I wanted to have sex but didn't. It is not that my life revolves around it. But it's like chriss rock said (i'm quoting quite literally so be mad at him not me):

"women get offered dick every day. It's not hard for them to say no to sex because they do it every single day. But us men, we have to fend for ourselves! Nobody ever offers us nothing! If we get offered sex we think: Damn! It's my lucky day!"

And this is pretty much true the way I see it. I am friends with women I have no intent on shagging. Especially not since I have a girlfriend whom I love very much. But even if I was single I wouldn't try to have sex with them. HOWEVER, if they came on to me and I'm single... Yea... I don't know. I'd say it was 50/50 because I might consider it to be weird between us afterwards. And I would not want that. On the other hand... sex.

In the scenario: Walk into a bar, meet a girl, 30 minutes later she wants to go to her place? 99% of the time the answer is yes. And that is just the way it is. Almost never happens though. And that is the thing. Women know they can pretty much just walk up to a guy and get some. I am probably going to get some flak for that statement but I just saying what I've seen/experienced myself. Men, they don't have that. Which is pretty much why a lot of us are always looking for sex. And once we are in a relationship it is hard to turn that off.
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
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iseko said:
Hmm... Hmm.... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

I was thinking on how: "yea! that is unfair! Women can be sexually assaulted but not men?"

But then I was thinking: "in all my 25 years, have I ever had sex against my will? Is that even possible?"
Hence the: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Answer: nope, never. I have 'NOT had sex' against my will. As in: I wanted to have sex but didn't. It is not that my life revolves around it. But it's like chris rock said (i'm quoting quite literally so be mad at him not me):
and I've never been raped or sexualiy assulted but it happens...

[quote/]"women get offered dick every day. It's not hard for them to say no to sex because they do it every single day. But us men, we have to fend for ourselves! Nobody ever offers us nothing! If we get offered sex we think: Damn! It's my lucky day!"[/quote]
I guess I shouldn't be taking it too seriously since as you said it was a comedy piece but I think its a rather annoying stereotype that women apparently have lines of men lining up to have sex
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
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SoulkeeperX said:
I agree, but welcome to feminized America, if women are offended by something then it's a big deal that needs to be dealt with, but if men are offended by it, they're told to just man up

no one is telling anyone to man up...in fact this IS an issue worth bringing up to the benefit of both genders, telling men to "man up" in regards to this is the same machismo bullshit that promotes "lol that 14 year old boy that got taken advantage of by his female teacher is sooo lucky"
 

SinisterGehe

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I think it should stop also, but also I think it is a stigma that wont go away. Because that is how society works. I also this adds to peer pressure on young males. Being told that all they are about and after is sex. Might translate to later life. If you are being told you whole life you are something, then you will think that is what you are.

Biggest issue for me is that as a man I judged as if I would always be after sex. (I am Asexual) So it becomes rally annoying to me. I don't look at women's boobs or ass - I look them straight in to the eyes (Which some people have said it is uncomfortable..)

All lies have hint of truth in them. So does this... But I think over it has been blowout of proportions. But then again sexed is something could help with this. Expand the lessons to talk about both sides of the issue. Bring up relationships and explain what will happen to kids. At 12-14 years old. (Like they did for me (Finland)).

Also culture is something that influences this a lot. In Finnish culture teen sexuality is not really that on the board. We do talk about it an it is not considered a taboo. But we don't really joke about it constantly. We do not give out the image that all men are sexual cruise missiles. So generally what I remember in school when it came to dude talk and such - people were quite calm and in control.
 

iseko

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Vault101 said:
iseko said:
Hmm... Hmm.... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

I was thinking on how: "yea! that is unfair! Women can be sexually assaulted but not men?"

But then I was thinking: "in all my 25 years, have I ever had sex against my will? Is that even possible?"
Hence the: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Answer: nope, never. I have 'NOT had sex' against my will. As in: I wanted to have sex but didn't. It is not that my life revolves around it. But it's like chris rock said (i'm quoting quite literally so be mad at him not me):
and I've never been raped or sexualiy assulted but it happens...
True, just can't imagine a scenario where this could happen for me. Maybe if I had a female boss who was pressuring me sexually in order to get a promotion. Never happened before but possible I suppose. My point maybe is that is much more unlikely for men to get sexually assaulted? You know what. Don't even respond to that statement because there is no way I can properly explain that one without it being face to face (and preferably in my native language). It carries a lot of nuance... It has something to do with most situations being less undesirable for men then for women (nuance).

[quote/][quote/]"women get offered dick every day. It's not hard for them to say no to sex because they do it every single day. But us men, we have to fend for ourselves! Nobody ever offers us nothing! If we get offered sex we think: Damn! It's my lucky day!"[/quote]
I guess I shouldn't be taking it too seriously since as you said it was a comedy piece but I think its a rather annoying stereotype that women apparently have lines of men lining up to have sex[/quote]
Yea it is meant satirically. Although, the general principle is true (at least I think). In the sense that it is much easier for a girl to get a one night stand then a guy. But this is a statement based on personal experience. I'm not saying every woman has guys lining up for her. But more: a girl walks in the bar and can find a guy for a one night stand easier then vice versa. I'm not saying she can just pick whoever she wants but still. Something I've noticed in real life. But still a generalization so probably not the best of arguments.
 

V4Viewtiful

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Keiichi Morisato said:
V4Viewtiful said:
Cloned31 said:
http://rackjite.com/bill-maher-psa-horror-women-using-men-sex/
"The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle."
enough people believe a lie, it'll be true.
o
that is why i still have a hard time dealing with people and getting my confidence back. i was bullied and was told that i was nothing, and over the years i have begun to believe that even though intellectually i know that the opposite is true, i still freeze up.
It's messed up I know. I was bullied to and it wears you down and out.

It makes things worse when you fight it and except it, decent friends make life just livable.
 

shootthebandit

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HoneyVision said:
shootthebandit said:
What gets me is societie's double standards. Young men are encouraged to sleep with as many women as possible where as young women as seen as sluts if they do the same. Society still hasnt fully moved on from biblical times where women are pure.

Women if you want to sleep with a guy you met once on a drunken night then why not. Why should society put shame on you for enjoying yourself. The 'walk of shame' should be the 'stride of pride'. Guys if you dont want to sleep around and you want to wait then thats pretty noble and respectable.

Sure most guys think a lot about sex. Its a pretty primitive instinct thats hardwired into the brain but its how we act on it that counts. You dont go around raping people and to a lesser extent you dont use people or take advantage of people for sex. Provided both parties consent and know if its a one night stand or something more then its ok. If you promise someone a relationship then dont call them back you are a dick
Don't know what 'society' you're living in, but there are LOTS of people who encourage NEITHER genders to sleep around. ESPECIALLY Christian ones.

This stereotype obviously came from somewhere, so it's not unfounded. But it is becoming more and more outdated as both genders now sleep around a lot.
What I was getting at is that if a man sleeps with a lot of woman hes seen as a "legend" however if a woman sleeps with a lot of guys shes considered a "slut" or a "whore". I personally dont disrespect a women because shes slept with a lot of guys and likewise I have a lot of respect for a guy if he chooses not to sleep with everyone
 

DevilWithaHalo

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iseko said:
In the scenario: Walk into a bar, meet a girl, 30 minutes later she wants to go to her place? 99% of the time the answer is yes. And that is just the way it is. Almost never happens though. And that is the thing. Women know they can pretty much just walk up to a guy and get some.
Had this conversation with a friend of mine many years ago. I was firmly in the camp that thought this, until she pointed out she attempt it with someone we both knew, who summarily reject her. Got me off guard. Years later, I can recall multiple instances where I've done the same. While the frequency indeed does not happen as often for men, given the supply and demand dynamics in sexual relationships, I've come to realize it's actually not that simple for a lot of women. The statement assumes the physical attractiveness level of a woman and her charms, which could equally be said of men. Having known several women who have admitted to being interested in men simply because of the boldness of their approach, I confirmed the suspicions that it can be just as easy for men. All it takes are the right set of circumstances.

I was also amused by this bit... <youtube=5JJFBtHcBnM> ...they also did the gender swap version to. The statistics still grossly favored the female, but it wasn't nearly as cut and dry as a lot of people think. Good stuff!
 

KissingSunlight

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I think it's about the difference between fantasy and reality. Sure, as a 13 year-old boy, I fantasized about having sex with my hot English teacher. However, the reality is, if that happened, I would have been emotionally scarred by the experience.

A good example of what I'm saying is in the movie American Beauty. Where a middle-age man fantasize about having sex with a high school cheerleader. When the opportunity arrives, he doesn't do it, because he realizes how wrong it is in reality.

So, Bill Maher is joking about having stereotypical sexual fantasies being realized. Not so much about the reality of sexual abuse and rape.
 

Talshere

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dyre said:
Honestly, I think the age of consent should be lowered across the board; given the number of teenage relationships (and pregnancies) these days, the whole "18 before sex" thing is just an outdated standard that simply doesn't apply to modern society. If, back when I was 16, I had been fucking some 20 year old college sophomore, I can guarantee you it would not have been sexual abuse. I was mature enough then to understand the repercussions and ethical responsibilities associated with having a relationship, and to think that hypothetical college chick should have been prosecuted is just absurd.

I'm almost tempted to say that the whole policy should be tried in court on a case-by-case basis (put the victim on the witness stand) rather than painted in broad strokes. Some (not all) cases of statutory rape these days seem to be all lettre de loi rather than l'esprit de loi. We hide behind the law to avoid having to ask difficult questions...putting teacher-student statutory rape (which IS problematic as well as extremely unprofessional, given the authority factor. High school is a small place; one cannot afford to have a vengeful teacher) in the same category as consensual relationships between 20 year olds and 16 year olds.

But yeah, the double standard thing is silly; if you're upset at 30 year old male teachers having sex with 16 year old girls, don't excuse 30 year old female teachers having sex with 16 year old guys.
Im pretty sure the only other nation on the planet with an age of consent of 18 or 17 is Australia and thats only in one province.

On average the AoC is between 16 to 15, probably closer to 15. The Europe AoE average is probably 15 and drops to 13 and 14 in Spain and Portugal respectively.

As with so many things, the US is fucked up. I wont even say stuck in the past since in Europe for heterosexual sex the AoC has never been higher than 16. Its almost like its trying to prove to the world how moral and just it is, without realising its kinda proving the opposite.
 

dyre

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Talshere said:
dyre said:
Im pretty sure the only other nation on the planet with an age of consent of 18 or 17 is Australia and thats only in one province.

On average the AoC is between 16 to 15, probably closer to 15. The Europe AoE average is probably 15 and drops to 13 and 14 in Spain and Portugal respectively.

As with so many things, the US is fucked up. I wont even say stuck in the past since in Europe for heterosexual sex the AoC has never been higher than 16. Its almost like its trying to prove to the world how moral and just it is, without realising its kinda proving the opposite.
Huh, that's good to know. I mean, it's a little annoying that the US as usual seems to be alone in its backwardness among developed nations, but at least the rest of the world is more reasonable...
 

Sunrider

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Cloned31 said:
BTW, I don't care if it's comedy. It's not right.
No subject is above comedy. Sure, you might not tell a dead baby joke in front of someone who has actually lost a child, but no subject is too taboo for comedy by default.
 

SonOfVoorhees

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I think the "men only care about sex" thing is the same as all woman have to be size zero due to magazines. Both men and woman have been brainwashed to believe a certain thing is how a man or woman should be. This stuff gets into us when we are kids and just becomes normal and you dont even notice it. For instance, you can be a 6 year old girl looking at models in magazines, as you get older your still seeing those images that it becomes normal.
 

00slash00

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This links to slut shaming and blaming female rape victims. Women are told to dress more conservatively if they want to avoid any unwanted advances. The message this sends out is that men are just mindless animals who have no control over their bodies and will hump any female who shows too much skin
 

Amir Kondori

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There are plenty of gross women that I have no interest in having sex with. A man does not just want to have sex with anything with a vagina, at least for me I have to find something about a woman attractive before I will have ANY interest in having sexual contact with them.
I do dislike the joke here, as it does reinforce that a man who doesn't want to have sex is somehow less of a man. It is bullshit.
 

Paradoxrifts

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TheYellowCellPhone said:
I can't tell why you're spreading the fight here when the website you were displeased with is right in front of you. Send a letter to Maher, write to the site owner, don't bring it to some completely unrelated gaming website.

By the way, I give your avatar euphoria/10
Everyone had to sit through the storm of "The completely unrelated to gaming, but Feminism!" threads. Why is this any different from all of those threads?

I'm all for banning any -ism thread that isn't at least tangentially connected to gaming, but lets ban all of the offending threads.

Not just the ones that personally ride up our butt crack and give us a rash.