Advice for guys who don't know how to approach women.

[generals3]

But if I must alter the way my personality functions to find a mate, then it's simply dishonest. If and when I find a girl who I want to form a relationship with based on affection, than I shouldn't really need to do this as we will like each other enough to be with one another. If I want to trick a 10 into fucking a 5, I'm a liar and a manipulator, depriving the 10 of all the un-manipulation ridden relationships she can be having with other 10's.

Well it depends how far you go. Most people on both sides put a poker face on when "meeting new people". And this is not something that is only done when it comes to relationships. It's the same with job applications for instance. I don't know a single person who doesn't "hide things" or embellishes them during interviews. The reasons are quite simple: you want to be given a chance, a chance to be able to actually show what you're all about (which you can't when asking someone out or during an interview).

Now off course if you're going to invent a totally new persona it's probably not going to work at all but a little bit of tweaking here and there can't hurt.

 

[Zen Bard]

Everything there is to know about approaching women can be summed up in these three rules from the classic Indie film,

"The Tao of Steve":

Spoiler: Rule 1

Spoiler: Rule 2

Spoiler: Rule 3

 

[cerebreturns]

OPs advice is about how to get laid, not how to start a relationship, just fyi.

 

[Rednog]

Here's how to approach women: Remember they are just people.
If you have to do a song and dance just to get their attention you're doing it wrong, you're wasting your time, and the relationship will be terrible.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Here's how to approach women: Remember they are just people.

It's depressing that so many people actually need to be told this.

 

[Vault101]

Do that and you will occasionally pull. I wish it wasn't true and the whole 'nice guy' and being 'considerate of others feelings' worked but it doesn't. Sorry.

well that depends, depending on what you looking for I highly doubt women are saying to each other "oh my god! I'm totally going to ty and get with that guy tonight, he ignored everything I said, costantly talked about himself and said I could do with some dental work! I want a peice of that!"

so yeah really you cant condence every situation or person into one easy solution, sorry

 

[Right Hook]

I'm sorry but there's only guide I go to when it comes to those mystical beings called "women"

http://www.textfiles.com/100/lay-girl.txt

What a fine read it is too.

I almost forgot about this, thanks for posting again, I've already had sex with 32 different women since you posted it.

As for OP's teasing business, I love to tease girls but it isn't to devalue them, that's fucked up. Mutual teasing is a lot of fun, I've never looked at it as more than that. I tease her, she teases me, it's all very light-hearted and good way to build chemistry. So please, by all means, tease...just don't do it because you've listened to this OP.

 

[Vault101]

It's hard to explain without sounding like an ass, but it's sort of a form of bullying, which is why you have to be extremely careful about her sensitivity. If done right, you remind her to be humble

uhhhh..what the fuck? thats just manipulation

[quote/]If you never tease her, she will gain an inflated opinion of herself, and not care how she appears or acts towards you[/quote]
oh we cant have that can we! women live in a tiny little bubble where they think they are perfect princesses and they need a man to take them down a peg or two because god forbid [b/]its not like real life does that[/b]

 

[Valnyan]

Treat them like humans but don't forget to leach them.

And giving them a good yank from time to time is a good idea too.

But don't forget : Always treat them like humans. (Because they definitely are not !)

 

[triggrhappy94]

I always took "teasing" as a sign of familiarity and affection. In the same way that men's humor tends toward mock-insults; or how little kids tend to pick-on the one they have a crush on. Sure I could see it getting malicious, but not asshole-esque on purpose.

 

[Not Lord Atkin]

Don't worry about the friendzone BS, that only happens to guys/girls hanging out with someone genuinely disinterested in them sexually, in which case it was never going to happen.

THANK YOU!
That friendzone excuse was starting to piss me off. I appreciate that some people might get into a situation when the other person is plainly not interested in them while they somehow come to the conclusion that they're in love with this person, and it's not pleasant. However, most are just using this friendzone thing as an excuse to be able to moan about how shit they love life is and do nothing about it.

Friendzone is not a thing. It does not exist. Instead of complaining on the internet, grow a pair and at least try and do something about it.

Sorry, I got excited.

Anyway, my advice... eh. Just act natural. Just be who you always are, talk in the way you always do, there's bound to be SOMEONE who's into that sort of thing in your general vicinity. Remembering tricks and pickup lines and learning proper body language is only going to get you so far. As OP said, women are not an object, not a milestone of personal achievement. They are human and therefore should be treated as such. Therefore talk to them the same way you would talk to anyone else. This also makes you look more confident (bahaviour which is and feels natural to you is going to look natural and relaxed to others as well). And confidence IS pretty important. I know it sounds cliche at this point but oh well.

Also, nice guys get laid too. The thing about girls seemingly only going after douches is strictly a confidence-related issue. Douches ooze confidence. The so-called 'nice guys', as they like to refer to themselves, don't. Don't be a dick, just be confident and be yourself. that's all the advice I can give.

 

[Andy Shandy]

In fact, this thread was even more perfectly timed than you thought OP, even Cliffy B is handing out the dating advice XD

http://dudehugespeaks.tumblr.com/post/44576689553/guys

 

[Vault101]

In fact, this thread was even more perfectly timed than you thought OP, even Cliffy B is handing out the dating advice XD

http://dudehugespeaks.tumblr.com/post/44576689553/guys

it wasn't too bad overall (though relationships is one area I haveno Idea)I guess though

[quote/]Try to avoid becoming Eskimo buddies with your actual buddies. That?s just gross. And the kind of girl who will sleep with you and all of your friends is going to have a hard time finding a husband when the time comes.[/quote] even though theres really nothing wrong with that statment the "finding a husband when the time comes" bit gave off negative vibes

 

[krazykidd]

Pfft . As if anyone on these forums know anything about women. Including the women on these forums .

 

[Malkav]

Maybe someone can give me advice about what to do after the first step was taken?
I'm not good looking, but not bad looking either. I'm a fairly confident, relaxed, naive guy, but that's not the issue. Right now, I'm in no relationship anymore and not on the active lookout. There's too much other stuff...

So why am I posting here? Turned out I'm on... the PASSIVE lookout! All of a sudden, I keep GETTING TALKED TO by girls. Can't tell you how, I have absolutely no clue! I'm interested, but keep screwing up.
It started unexpected. The first girl happened to visit the same seminar as me. We were literally at the first sign leading to the room, and she could have just followed me, because it was obvious where I was going. So she asks me for directions as if completely lost, keeps walking with me, stumbles over words, forgets how to walk, nervous as if I could turn into a tiger. (I can not, but if I can attract girls, that's okay). You'd think I know these signs to well, but it takes me a minute to realize what she's up to. Now I can't think of anything more to say. Awkward silence. After the seminar was over, I get approached by ANOTHER GIRL that was in the same seminar. And it plays out just as poorly!

This kept happening for a while. I try to keep the talk going, but over a few sentences, we reach a dead end. Not sure if it's my fault or their's. With some people, you find yourself in a lively and cheerful talk before you know it... In a club, one said "Heeeyyy, I saw you over there, eh, you're cool! Ehhh... that's my cousin!... yeah...". That was NOT a lively talk...


So you're two strangers with little to no connection but (at best) the same seminar, the same way across some streets, or being in the same club... They hit you up with something completely random. How do you respond, in general?

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

Always approach women from downwind so they can't smell your fear.

 

[Rabish Bini]

Come on, guys, you don't need that wall of text. You already know how the best way to attract the laaaaaaydeez.

Spoiler

I don't really need any advice, I will say though, you're awesome for this.

OT: Eh, I've always gone for the 'be yourself' method, it seems to work for me.

 

[infohippie]

So you're talking to this girl with huge breasts and a low cut shirt.
You want to know what's going to impress her more than staring at her ta-tas? Not staring at them. Not even glancing. Despite how society tells them to dress like sluts, most women don't enjoy men leering at them, or at the least tolerate it. By simply maintaining eye contact and never letting it slip below the neckline, you will usually gain quite a bit of respect from a woman (even if they don't understand that what it is they are feeling for you).
They will /notice/ how every other wanker out there is taking mental images for the spank tank, but REMEMBER you are the guy who didn't even glance once.

This in particular can be important. I recall one night out clubbing, years ago. I was talking with a rather buxom female friend of mine, who was wearing a VERY low cut top, and the conversation somehow wandered to the subject of cleavage. Note, I did not direct it this way, she began talking about it. After about ten minutes of discussion, she said to me that she had noticed how despite the subject matter and her top, my eyes did not wander downward to her own cleavage even once. Women DO tend to notice things like that, on the whole.

 

[EeveeElectro]

My advice is quite simple.

Have arrogance, know that you are the best in the world and it's a service your doing talking to them.

Be an idiot, 'what if she' doesn't matter as you are no longer allowed to think of consequences, thats for losers not people who are the best in the world.

Do that and you will occasionally pull. I wish it wasn't true and the whole 'nice guy' and being 'considerate of others feelings' worked but it doesn't. Sorry.

You'll pull the wrong kind of girl with that advice. Unless that's the kind of girl you want, then... go figure.
There's a fine line between arrogance and confidence, and arrogant men are completely vile, even more so if the arrogance is misplaced.
There's also a line between nice guy and wimpy, spineless, won't say no to anything with a vagina in the hopes of getting it guy.

OT: If you want an actual relationship, approach them like you would anyone else. They are humans after all, don't go up to someone trying to get into their pants, but try be their friend first and it'll go from there. It always has for me, I've always just known me and someone will get together eventually. There's always been a spark between us and it's awesome when you find that with someone.

Also, BE YOURSELF. Don't let anyone fall in love with a fictionalised version of yourself. You'll trip up over yourself soon if you do that. Unless your aim is to get women into bed by telling them you're a professional extreme bingo player to never see them again, then whatever...