Aliens give you a starship...

Souther Thorn

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Gather up the fam and friends and take a tour of our local system before trying to pick up Neil Degrasse Tyson and Brian Cox to parlay offering the tech to altruistic terran interests at no charge to public and 0 secrecy. Start a contract ferry service for PRI and others.
Open all channels, try and see if we can contact The Culture.
Cry for a while.
 

BathorysGraveland2

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I'd cooperate with the United Nations and western governments in destroying the Islamic State, Boko Haram and various other such groups, as well as supply support for western operations in Africa and the Middle East. I'd also support the African Union in their own struggles in Africa. I'd maintain pressure on Russia and China so as to not interfere with western involvements in the Middle East. I'd also put pressure on China in breaking their alliance with North Korea and assisting western forces in liberating the country and its people. I'd more or less attempt to use the threat of overwhelming military force that no one could really defend against (since it'd all be from orbit) to try and clean up the mess that currently inhabits the world on a large scale, such as destroying terror/extremist groups, removing oppressive regimes from power and forcing Russia and China to stay their hand at getting involved in western affairs in Africa and the Middle East. Things of that nature, really. I guess I'd become a godlike figure towards Earth, trying to forcefully progress it to a state of overall peace and stability (since history has proven that force tends to be more effective than words).

Once that is accomplished, I think I'd take my family and friends, and maybe an entourage of beautiful women, on a much needed vacation around the galaxy. Take a look around, enjoy the cosmic scenery. After that I'd gather a team of the Earth's leading scientists and language/communication experts and travel in search of other people/sapient cultures elsewhere and establish peaceful, diplomatic contacts with them and hopefully set up trade right and exchange of technology, and basically strive to build rich, stable cosmic empires.

Something like that, I guess :D
 

chadachada123

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OP, you may want to update your post to say just how fast the Enterprise actually GOES. For reference, it goes at a (normal) max of 1,649 times the speed of light. That means going across the Solar System in 24 seconds, to the nearest star in 23 hours, and a whopping 52 years to cross the galaxy.

I suppose, first, I'd have to sell a few rides to make enough money for various necessities, like a space suit. Then I'm GTFOing this planet for greener pastures.
 
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Orbital Strike on North Korea first and foremost. Then demand a lifetime supply of Tacos, Churos, and Boneless Spare Ribs with Chicken Fried Rice or I'd do the same to the US of A and Mexico. Then I'd cruise about the Universe to see If I can find life or planets that can support life. If so, I'll return to earth and peacefully aid in colonizing efforts. This is, of course, assuming I can cross the cosmos and give time the middle finger. If not, I'll return to earth and aid in promoting world peace by Orbital Striking every war zone. If it becomes annoying I'll just orbital strike the leaders of the conflicts. You want to go to war? Better be prepared for a laser to the face!

And finally, just before my death, I will send the crafts blueprints to the US of A and fly off into the cosmos and never stop. Ever. I'm a patriot at heart, even If I'm willing to betray my country for a Taco.
 

Drakmorg

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I would immediately fly that shit into the sun. If the entire world knows I own this thing it's maybe mater of hours before the government (any, pick one) demands me to hand it over in exchange for not having it nuked from orbit anyway, so fuck 'em. Plus if it's me of all people aliens choose to own this thing, it's probably a message that man just straight up doesn't deserve to leave planet Earth and I'm supposed to deliver it.
 

DarklordKyo

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Fieldy409 said:
Immediately sell it to the highest bidder to tear apart and study and live the rest of my life on boring old earth sipping cocktails on beaches and snorting coke off supermodels.
Why not lease it?, you'll have a more constant stream of revenue.
 

FalloutJack

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Nov 20, 2008
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Time to address the nations... All of them.

"Okay, world. This is your captain speaking. I would like to declare a new age of prosperity in which the human race gets to elevate itself to new heights and new levels of advancement. All you have to do is make me the leader of the world and keep the world spinning, for everybody. Because the first rule of Jack's rule is 'No more in-fighting'. no more wars against human beings. If I give you access to the technology up here and you waste it by blowing everything up, what was the point? The second rule of Jack's rule is 'Do not abuse advanced technology'. You'd better be treating this stuff with respect, 'cause I won't have any screw-ups here. Not with this. I'll think of more later, but the basic premise is to do what I tell you and you get an information dump on how the technology of this ship got to its present state. You'll catch up in no time, and in the interim, I'm going to go see the universe. Lemme know when you decide."

I'm game for elevating humanity a few levels, on my terms, of course.
 

JoJo

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Step 1) Open applications for plucky but loyal orphans, preferably from across the world so genetic diversity is assured (This is important for later).

Step 2) All applicants will undergo genetic tests to ensure they aren't carrying recessive genes for diseases, and psychological tests to pinpoint those likely to rebel or tend towards extremism. This will be funded by space trips for the very richest, performed personally by me.

Step 3) Me and my hand-picked orphan crew will travel out of the solar system and explore the galaxy until another planet habitable by humans is discovered.

Step 4) Upon this planet the Kingdom of New Mars is founded, with myself as absolute monarch. I reign in luxury for the rest of my life, my underlings by this time suitably brainwashed to worship me as a living god. As I grow old, power can be slowly devolved democratically and the monarchy can become a ceremonial position.

Step 5) If all goes to plan, the new colony will be kept in isolation from Earth for at-least several centuries, until Earthlings discover faster-than-light travel. By then New Mars will be an established planet with it's own unique culture and hopefully an example for the rest of mankind. The intention after all is to leave the baggage of the old world behind. That or my brainwashing will have worked too well and a holy war will promptly be declared on Earth in the name of the prophet JoJo. Oops.
 

Fieldy409_v1legacy

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DarklordKyo said:
Fieldy409 said:
Immediately sell it to the highest bidder to tear apart and study and live the rest of my life on boring old earth sipping cocktails on beaches and snorting coke off supermodels.
Why not lease it?, you'll have a more constant stream of revenue.
There comes a point where you really don't need more money. Just a single piece of the ship would net me billions. Assuming I don't go full idiot id never use it all up.
 

Binkan

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I would search for a suitable planet and then take friends and family and other ppl including stuff needed to build a settlement then search for an alien civilization and proceed to fuck with them and then lead them to earth so they can destroy it.
 

Elementary - Dear Watson

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Nov 9, 2010
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I would use it to replace my car and house. I could essentially live on board, but visit home more often, and never be late for work because of traffic! It would even make work even easier... I could work anywhere in the world, but always be able to make it back to attend peoples functions!

That, and giving people rides in my sweet ship... I would imagine it would be relatively small. Size of a 3 bed house or so... that would suit me perfectly!
 

Infernai

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CrazyGirl17 said:
Space road trip! I'd get some of my friends and we'd go on a journey through the stars in search of new and strange worlds... first I gotta name the ship... that might take some thought. Watch this space for updates.
^ What this girl's doing.

Staying around Earth is probably not the best idea. And, even if i did share the tech that would mean the ship would likely still get torn apart and likely not put back together properly to boot. Plus, I'll finally have all of space to explore...do you REALLY think I'm gonna stick around Earth?
 

000Ronald

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Edith The Hutt said:
What do you do with your new-found power and infamy?
Mmm. Good question. But I've discovered that I can't possibly answer that question without having a few questions answered.

1) First and foremost, was the ship designed for humans, or at least life-forms with human-like proportions? I know this is something that people might take for granted, but having read everything from His Dark Materials [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/His_Dark_Materials] to Dragon's Egg [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon%27s_Egg], I'm not just going to take that for granted. I mean, a starship sounds great, but if it's a starship made for cheela...well, not only could I not use it, but there is the distinct possibility that it's landing on earth would...blow up earth.
1a) Regardless of whether or not the ship was made for humans, does it have the capacity to sustain human life? Let's take the wandering starship scenario as an example. Perhaps the ship was made for beings with human-like proportions, but breathed nitrogen and carbon monoxide or something. It wouldn't do to die from carbon monoxide poisoning as soon as you entered the ship, would it?

2) What kind of facilities are on the ship? Clearly there would be somewhere to pilot the ship, but are there living facilities on the ship? Scientific facilities? Maybe barracks for a potential crew? If so, how many? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? A hundred thousand? More?
2a) This is maybe a bit fuzzier a question, but are there scientific and military resources on the ship? If so, in what quantity? I'm talking about things like adverse environment suits, rail/ray guns, maybe personal force fields; things that would presumably be necessary on board a starship. Furthermore, could the ship replicate or provide these resources, if asked?


3) Is there enough scientific knowledge on the ship to successfully replicate it, if given the proper equipment? Other people on the thread have suggested tearing it apart, but I would be curious if that was entirely necessary.
3a) Is the ship made out of materials that can even be replicated on Earth? I know that sounds like an odd question, but again, I'm not going to just take these things for granted.
3b) Furthermore, regardless of whether or not the ship can be replicated outright, can it be modified? Either by hard work or by hologram shenannagans? By way of an example; if there wasn't a barracks for a crew, would the ship be able to suggest what materials you could use and even provide a blueprint (or even provide the resources), or would you have to bring the materials on-board yourself and do all the building yourself?

Right now, the only thing I can say definitively is that I would set the ship in orbit around the moon. I would need these questions answered-in whole or in part-before I could say definitively what I would do after that.
 

Blacklight28

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Panic under the weight of the responsibility and power piled on me and accidentally blow up a country?
 

000Ronald

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Blacklight28 said:
Panic under the weight of the responsibility and power piled on me and accidentally blow up a country?
Easy solution for that.

"Computer! Advise me against any action that would end in mass death or destruction."

Kinda hard to blow up a country when you computer's nagging at you that it's a bad idea.
 

Thaluikhain

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Go and investigate these aliens more.

chadachada123 said:
OP, you may want to update your post to say just how fast the Enterprise actually GOES. For reference, it goes at a (normal) max of 1,649 times the speed of light. That means going across the Solar System in 24 seconds, to the nearest star in 23 hours, and a whopping 52 years to cross the galaxy.
Eh, excepting when it doesn't, because of story.
 

Lazy Kitty

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I have no idea how powerful an Enterprise-D is, but since it is self-maintaining, I assume it has some factory-like capabilities, so maybe I'd have it make an army of robots (who may or may not enjoy refering to humans as "meatbags").
Or maybe an outfit that's better suited for a starship captain.

Also, if the puny Earthlings get annoying about it, I might either send down the earlier mentioned army of robots and become dictator of the world or maybe I'd just go to another planet to try to find intelligent life.
Just try to follow me.
 

Scarim Coral

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I assume the ship got some kind of FTL (faster than light) or a way to travel very very fast or did I missed reading that part? Also does the ship got build in universal translator?

OT- My initial answer is becoming a space traveler aka Han Solo/ Space Dandy but again this will be a risk if I able to find suitable food source across the stars or being able to travel back to Earth very quickly (it do me no good if it take me a year to reach back to Earth and the food supply had run out). Also when I do go exploring, I will do it at a safe distance since I won't want some hostile aliens know that I come from teh planet Eart in the Solar System (does the ship got superior cloathing/ stealth technogy?). Now I typed inital cos the part The entire world knows you have this ship had changed my outcome.

Depending what the government and the world leaders reaction, I suppose I will allow them to try to replicate the technology just as long as I oversee it since there is no way in hell am I allowing them to dismantle it!!! Still I'm getting a feeling they would manipulate me or hide certain info from me easily.
Granted I know the weapon technology will be a controversial one. My ideal is for the weapon technology to NOT be receated (we got small wars going on right now, alien weapon will make it worse) however I can see this being a trust issue aswell since what is stopping me for using the weapon against Earth aswell since I don't think they can accept a face value alone despite looking into my profile? Sure they can't stop me or replace me with another person they can trust more but yet again they would rather killed me if it means destroying the ship aswell than to let me run wild.
Well ok the only time I will them to recreate the weapon is that I encounter a alien threat or an invasion of some kind. When it come to this, I would want to make a law about using alien weapons against Alien threats but not huamn lives (sound like a contridiction to me for some reason) which the world leaders must all signed so if the technology got leak and fall in the wrong hand, they make it their piroty to stop it.

Overall my ideal outcome with the Government and world leaders etc is that I can assume becoming a space cabby will be a prospects career XD.
I will taxi in the astronaunt from Earth to a planet since they cannot replace me as the driver. Granted I am not doing this out of generoity as I am expect a LARGE SUM OF MONEY for doing this since it's a job for me now. In saying so I won't necessary need alot of money (super rich) per say since I no longer need to pay any bills if I lived on the Spaceship (I swear to god they better not TAX me for living on space) but I will still need to buy food, clothing and games etc!!

One last thing is that I will allow little children take a ride with me like a space trip (with supervising adults you sicko) as long the higher up will be ok with it.

Oh one final thing, the worse case scenrio with the government or the world leader (let say, arrest me and dismantle the ship or they all agreed to recreate the ship for war purposes) is I take the risk of venturing into space and ditch Earth for good. Well ok if they threat my friends and family I will beam them up and have a talked with them if they want to come with me or beam back to Earth knowing that the Government will doing something to them just because they are my family or friend.
 

Avalanche91

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Assuming it has FTL? First I'm beaming up my friends, Neil Degrasse Tyson and perhaps some babes for a space roadtrip of a few years to look for alien civilizations.

After that, my glorious return to earth where I'll essentially hold the world hostage to end all wars or risk annihilation by plasma. If we can agree to play nice, I might even share the tech from my sweet ass spaceship, which I'll have spray painted something rad.