Annoying stereotypes about my sexuality.

[chowderface]

Oooh, there was an episode of Happy Endings about this one. One of the characters is all upset because her friend who is gay isn't a gay friend. So she goes out and finds a gay dude who acts like an obnoxious cartoon all the time, he even does this crazy thing with his hands and says "DRAMA!"

And this is fun for about ten minutes and then she thinks he's annoying as shit, because he totally is.

 

[Mischa87]

I see here two arguments concerning the linguistics of the words 'pansexual' and 'bisexual'. Some are arguing for the literal meaning of pansexual as being sexually attracted to all things while others are arguing for the literal meaning of bisexual being sexually attracted to two sexes. What I don't understand is how people can argue for one and against the other.

Ultimately what I think some people are doing is changing the meaning of 'bisexual' so that their new category makes sense. Personally, and I'm sure others will agree with me, I have always thought of a bisexual person as someone attracted to all genders (there are only two but for now I'll indulge you), and not the supposedly offensive 'two genders only' meaning that it has been given. The thought process here being; bisexuality is the same thing as the pansexuality so it is an unnecessary label as bisexually covers all ground, and not pansexuality is the same thing as bisexuality so its meaning is invalid. At least, I don't believe anyone here is suggesting that attraction towards an obscured gender is impossible.

Now to the gritty bit, as a biologist I have to take a biologists view on genders. Whether you are male or female in most mammals is determined by the presence of the Y chromosome. If you've got one you're male if you haven't you're female. This factor will normally determine your ability to produce fertile reproductive cells and this is key truth of biological science. I am fully aware that some people are born sterile but they still have a defining gender based on their chromosomes. I am also aware that some people are born with combinations or reduced versions of both male and female genitalia; understand that this is due to hormone imbalances in the developmental stage and has no effect on their biological gender as they can still only produce reproductive cells based on their chromosomes. These two situations can occur when some event causes some abnormality of the sex chromosomes causing XO, XXY, XYY, XXX and so on. Note that our 'if there's a Y its male' rule still applies.

Now there is a particular case where a person can be born with a mosaic of XY and XX cells, but this I would classify as an extremely rare exception to the rule.

Following this there can only be two genders, or some combination of both. Any third gender someone applies to them self is only a personal preference, no matter how much they believe in it. Sometimes people like to make an issue out of something that should not be an issue, frankly I think the OP should allow bisexuality the broad spectrum it implies and be less wound up on terminology.

You're getting "gender" and "sex" mixed up there, gender is a societal construct for the most part, and sex would be what you (and a lot of others) would refer to as "biological sex/gender". And there ARE more than 2 genders, this isn't an opinion, it's fact, regardless of what you said about sex (albeit you erroneously called it gender)

Take that in mind and re-think all you just said. Glad to see your input though, from one professional to another.

 

[Radelaide]

I've always seen pansexuality and asexuality as a bit of a farce. But that's just me.

Nah, I'm of the same opinion, especially with Aesexuality, which in my eyes basically means someone with a low or non existant sex drive - people should only call themselves Aesexual when it's through choice.
I can understand why someone would research it and find out the correct term for their orientation, but I don't understand the need to broadcast it to the world.

See, I don't even think it's a correct term to use ever. I find it incredibly annoying that people with a low sex drive call themselves asexual like it's special. You're just not a sexual person, doesn't mean you're special.

Pansexuality is bisexuality. You're attracted to men and women and there's nothing else TO be attracted to in the spectrum of humans. Sure, you can be attracted to a donkey, but that's something else entirely.

Transgender? Or does that fall into bisexuality aswell?

Transgender is something else entirely. That's mental as well as physical. Not to say the rest aren't, but a Trans is unhappy with the body they're in and desire to be the other sex. It's a gender issue not a sexuality issue.

 

[PhiMed]

Pansexuality IS the same thing as bisexuality. You're arguing over labels. These are collections of symbols/series of utterances that people have created to describe the EXACT SAME behavior and preference.

We're not talking about a slur or a derogatory term. We're talking about two accepted words for the same thing.

I've never said this straight and I've always allowed for some wiggled room for them to justify themselves. But you sir are just wrong. You incorrect in almost every factor of that statement. The only bit you got right was "We're not talking about a slur or a derogatory term"; you are correct here. Instead we are talking about a scientifically defined and accepted sexuality that is completely separate from bisexuality.

Well, see there you just made that up. It's not scientifically defined or accepted by the psychiatry community at-large. It's not in DSM-IV, at all, which means it isn't generally agreed-upon.

And there is no behavior that is distinct to pansexuality. It's primarily an internal rejection of binary sexuality. Pansexuals are bisexuals with a superiority complex, essentially. There is no measurable, quantifiable element that defines it as separate. It is simply a self-identification issue. It's made up.

You want to call yourself that, that's fine. But getting in people face about it just makes you look like someone who enjoys the smell of his own farts.

 

[Kaphiri]

You're getting "gender" and "sex" mixed up there, gender is a societal construct for the most part, and sex would be what you (and a lot of others) would refer to as "biological sex/gender". And there ARE more than 2 genders, this isn't an opinion, it's fact, regardless of what you said about sex (albeit you erroneously called it gender)

Take that in mind and re-think all you just said. Glad to see your input though, from one professional to another.

Lets try not to be pedantic about this, I will correct myself henceforth.

What are your grounds for there being more than two sexes? Can you identify them?

 

[FarleShadow]

Imagine what the human race could have accomplished if we didn't constantly bog ourselves down with this pedantic nitpicking bullshit.

Straight? No darling, I'm not straight, I'm a PANSEXUAL!

No, you're insufferable. Go away.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

LOOK AT ME I WANT ATTENTION LOOK LOOK PLEASE RESPOND I NEED ATTENTION

seriousuly you will never convince everyone stop trying

You know its comments like these that allow negative stereotypes to occur. Seriously, just because you won't convince everyone doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

 

[iLazy]

I hate it when people think that just because I'm bi, I'll jump into bed with anyone.

No, just because I like both genders doesn't mean I'm sleeping with everything that walks on two legs and breathes. I just find both genders attractive.

At this point in my life though, I might be pansexual because I don't care what gender you associate yourself with. If I find you attractive, then I find you attractive. Such the difficulty of finding out who you are :/

 

[Mischa87]

You're getting "gender" and "sex" mixed up there, gender is a societal construct for the most part, and sex would be what you (and a lot of others) would refer to as "biological sex/gender". And there ARE more than 2 genders, this isn't an opinion, it's fact, regardless of what you said about sex (albeit you erroneously called it gender)

Take that in mind and re-think all you just said. Glad to see your input though, from one professional to another.

Lets try not to be pedantic about this, I will correct myself henceforth.

What are your grounds for there being more than two sexes? Can you identify them?

I said there are more than two genders, not sexes (Although one can argue that there are more than two sexes, if you rid yourself of ancient ideas of sex and/or open your eyes/mind)

And of course there is more than two genders, heck, there's an infinite amount if you really think about it. It's a continuum really, heck, it's not even about male/female, it's about masculine/feminine, and the different levels of each (Let's not get into defining "levels" here)

There's genderless/agendered people, bigendered people, transgendered people, my fathe *cough* I mean metrosexuals if you really wanna wrap your head around it, and a whole slew of other wonderful people, to deny their existence, or to chalk it up as just attention-seeking is ignorant on a whole new level... transphobic really, or cisnormative? They'd both work.

 

[Blind Sight]

Ok, you've picked a special name for yourself. So what? I don't even care about your sexuality- fuck whatever you want as long as it's willing and over the age of fifteen. What I don't get is the categorizing. Why can't you just be David? Why pigeon-hole yourself into some arbitrary definition?

 

[Cheery Lunatic]

I don't know, I've always thought it sounds like bisexuality with delusions of grandeur, reading the wiki did nothing to change that. But hey, whatever you want to call it is fine by me.

This x 100.

I honestly cannot comprehend the difference between pansexuality and bisexuality. There are only two freaking genders to begin with... if you're not picky about who you're boning, isn't that essentially being bisexual...?

Whatever, I don't even know anymore. Sexuality has gotten so complicated nowadays, it's ridiculous. I don't think it should define a person as much as recent generations make it out to do.

 

[OriginalLadders]

Fair point. It would come down to a matter of definitions then.

Is homosexual/heterosexual/bisexual/pansexual a meaning for what we find PHYSICALLY attractive? Or does it mean our ability to have a romantic relationship with someone? For example, one may not be attracted to Steve the accountant, but can exist fine in a married type relationship, albit without sex.

Sexuality is confusing ):<

Too damn right, the simplest and most inclusive method I can think of would be to choose one each from the following two sets of categories:

1. Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, Demisexual, Asexual.
2. Heteroromantic, Homoromantic, Biromantic, Panromantic, Aromantic.

So, in my opinion, what would be called "pansexual" would be "panromantic bisexual". But then the first three of each set would have to use the Kinsey scale to truly reflect people's preferences.

1. Kinsey (0-6) sexuality, Demisexual, Asexual.
2. Kinsey (0-6) romanticism, Panromantic, Aromantic.

Trying to categorise something this complex just becomes an exercise in frustration.

 

[TokenRupee]

I'm gay and I'm offended by people being offended by stereotypes. If people want to assume I float around singing showtunes and pondering fashion that's their right. They're idiots for making that assumption anyway, so who cares?

Oh and I say "******" a lot too.

Are you by any chance a Code Monkeys fan? Just seemed like you were by the "floating around singing showtunes" part.

But to be more on topic, I have to agree with the second poster. I sort of understand pansexuality and what it entails, but I do see it as very similar to bisexuality. Not all of it, but a lot. Then again, the only pansexuals I've know about use it as an excuse to kiss the same sex and not be labeled homosexual or bisexual.

 

[saruman31]

People don`t have sex with members of the same gender unless they are gay. No fancy name needed.

 

[Zeckt]

Look. If I was born well endowed and with a normal frame and actually grew body hair I would act more masculine too. I am definitely a pretty boy, I wear earrings and nail polish all the time but that does NOT mean I have to act like a flamboyant tv sitcom failure. I talk like a normal person, and I got to do what I got to do to be attractive to people because I fail so hard by trying to act and look as masculine as every other guy. I don't know what to say to people when I try, and nobody is even interested in anything I would try to say anyways. Nobody wants to talk to the creepy soft spoken man child.

But when I tried a whole different approach and make people guess about my sexuality, I actually got RESULTS because people actually expect me to be soft spoken and actually give me a god damn chance. I was on a doomed path of loneliness and I had to evolve or die, so please guys go easy on people who almost make you guess what sex they are, they are BORN that way and are not always the wierd creeps you think they are. Some people CAN'T fit into todays picture of a modern male, that does not make them fruitcakes.

 

[Carissa Parnell]

erm I know I'm going to get my head bitten off here.
And why am I posting, once a thread has more than a page no one will read it.
And I'm probably never gonna read replies, maybe I'll try to but I'll probably forget.
Why am i posting it must be some weird compulsion...anyone else feel that?

Anyway as a bisexual yes stereotypes are annoying.......accept when they are really funny i.e. in a joke. i.e. a joke with other LGBT people when we've been drinking or trying to freak people out. flamboyantly gay men do grate somewhat. Its seems so fake, unatural and overaffected. not liking fashion or decorating i mean if you like that fine but the whole shreiking, fabulous, darling thing is very very irritating its like I'm watching a bad parody of something. now stereotypical gay women are unfortunately for gay men just great. i mean butch, femme either way usual fun, great personalities, laid back so really work on your stereotype. that is said slightly jokingly don't freak out.

As a bisexual person (FEMALE but who cares) who ran an LGBT group and I've met lots of gay men, gay women, bi women and men and a few trans and a shit load of pans. as in pansexuals not cooking utsensils.

I've also met genderqueers, asexuals, bigendered whoopdeewooopdeedidileedoppsexuals.....yes I'm mocking them.

Theres always someone, some person who does not quite fit. Well duh everyones tastes and hormones and bla bla are slightly different. you think every straight person has exactly the same sexuality? god no. so why do you feel the need to be so self important you need a new word for you. because to think the whole universe will memorise fiftybillion words on sexuality is not bloody likely and it makes the rest of the LGBT look bad because yes they do lump us altogether and no amount of complaining will remedy that.

All these erm whatever people with their words most of them I've met if they were gay they were gay if they were lesbian they were hot i mean lesbian, in most cases if they were bi they were bi and most real bis can tell a faker and most transexuals were really transexual. as for the whoopdeedoops i.e. the rest they weren't. they changed their label like they changed their clothes. Its because they were gay straight or bi but didn't quite fit.

Look pansexual means there are more than two genders and its based on the person not their physical presence.

1) gender is a social construct and doesn't really exist and there are 2 sexes male and female. now really there are 3 sexes as intersexed people are really both and trans people not finished their transistion are really really both. note the word both here. as in not a new sex of aliens but a MIXTURE of the prexisting male and female.

All other genders sexualities bla bla are a MIX of male and female. 2 inescapable concepts. everyone will have elements of male and female. nothing else.

you either like female qualities -boobs, vagina, soft features or male qualities penis, not curvy, harder features or BOTH. Now both BISEXUAL like both hence they are gonna probably like some or all combinations of both so yeah trans, intersexed. there is no other name needed. to like both would mean the potential to like both in many combinations in one person. Pansexuality is a redundant term.

now based on personality alone= no sex drive based on appearance =asexual, unsexual not pan but asexual. many asexuals date both/all gender due to lack of looks mattering so pansexual.........
I do not mean to be aggressive I'm just saying through a life of being bisexual i know what its like to feel rejected, an outsider, not taken seriously, to not fit. I know how it feels so i hate to reject I do but logically, expirically having thought about it i cannot see the use of this word it seems a synonym for bisexual or asexual.
A useless term that frankly if you think about it is kind of damaging for bisexuals. the cruel outside world will lump us together. it is hard to make gays and straights accept and take us seriously as it is so it is irritating when we start saying all this fluid not scienctific crap. bisexual makes sense logically. If one could argue based on the points I've given that pansexuality is not a synonym I will accept it. addressing and disproving these points right here.

I'm sorry but i just don't see it.

 

[Carissa Parnell]

or bi


in reply to person who said if you have sex with same sex you are gay no fancy name needed.

not fancy name just means they will also have sex with opposite sex too, gays don't normally unless secretly bi

 

[The Human Torch]

So pansexuality means that you are attracted to both genders, and bi-sexuality also means that you are attracted to both genders. I fail to see the difference.

On a more lighthearted note: who cares what people think of you, let alone some superficial TV-show that lost it's appeal 5 years ago. If you want to grab one hand full of chest hair and another hand full of dick, then good for you. Stop worrying about what the TV thinks of you.