Another new question to the girls here...

[Skullpanda]

I'm thinkin' a lot of escapist guys are trying to figure out how to get a girlfriend, what with all the "question for you ladies" threads coming out as of late. And as a guy, I've seen what happens to the emotional bricks of the world. They spend more nights alone than the sensitive guys. Not the pansies who sob at every little thing, though. That just creeps people out.


I'm looking at you, Dan. You really need to stop doing that weird shit...-.-


True, the sensitive guy may not get the girl right off the bat, but you're more yourself when not acting like a giant bicep/pectoral/dick to impress the ladies. Seeing as you're human, acting like one will attract other humans. You may not end up dating over half the girls you meet, but you'll find one that works, and then you're set. Even a awkward, nerdy guy who can't tell when someone's flirting with him (i.e.: ME) can end up with a wonderful girl if given time.

So good luck to all you kids out there who are looking for someone. But there aren't any cheat codes in the dating game...or save points. If you fuck up, you did it to yourself.

 

[Lineoutt]

Here is the answer. Are you ready? good

The trick is this: Be both. The manly man will make for a short, meaningless relationship while the sissy boy will make for a harder to get drama filled relationship. "Alright" your probably thinking "both is fine but how much of each?" good question. About 40-60 , 50-50 or 60-40 (emotional-manly) of course this depends on your lady.

To put it into an complicated metaphor: No one wants bread thats completely soggy or completely stale. The best bread has a crunchy outside and a soft inside.

hope that helped

EDIT Also this is a girl's point of view

 

[Yureina]

I did a quick read of this thread, but much of what I was going to say has already been said already. I guess i'll just go ahead and throw in that underused truth "take all things in moderation." Meaning, being "normal" and not too much of one thing or another, be that a brainless muscle man or the emo type who is too caught up in his personal problems, is what one should strive to be. After that, hopefully, it should only be a matter of time.

 

[theshadowcult]

I don't show many emotions excepty for bordom, it doesn't make me look non-chlant, just lazy. Girls don't seem to lke that.

Yeah, i'm a private guy and i don't like to show emotion unless your in my circle. Most people just think i am a jerk. The truth is though that there are girls who want fun, girls who want smarts, girls who want emotion, girls who just want to be used, there is a girl for everything. It just so happens that all girls respond to confidence though, even arrogance to some degree will get you further in romance than anything else. You have to get your foot in the door before you will get anywhere.

 

[soilent]

It is a constantly repeated lesson among men that men with emotions, men that laugh, men that love, men that can appericaite the art, men that cry, are all some how "weak." If your a guy that has emotions, it is seamed agreed that your gay and will never "score" a girl (which I never understood why getting women is some kind of contest). Do you girls really think that a guy with emotions outside of "GRRRR... I HAVE BALLS OF STELL!" or "You want to do the bow chicka wow wow" is a lesser man? I would hope that it is not true, but is it?

Before i say anything, what I'm about to say is very sexist but I do think many women will agree with me, I say this not out of malice but out of observation.


Reference material.
man #1, the badboy, general asshole who treats women poorly and only wants sex, no meaningful relationships, this man will die alone, likely with a few diseases to leave to the kids he will never know.
man #2, The Emotional guy, this man is very in touch with his feminine side and can be around women without constantly thinking about boning, he listens and legitimately cares about what women think, he will most likely find someone to be with, for reasons which will be covered later.
man #3, The regular man, This guy is balanced, he cares about women in a legitimate way, but has his own agenda, he may seek a long term relationship, he may not, but he will develop connections beyond random casual sex, and he might just avoid some evil STDs too.

Young women are seeking freedom, college age women are breaking away from the bonds of childhood and their parents, and often seek man #1, this happens mostly with women who have self esteem issues and have been heavily influenced by their fathers, developing a dependency issue. This occurs mostly between ages 18-27(up to 30, maybe.) This seems the most common because Teenage girls often have little interaction with their fathers, especially in the age of texting.

Other women who have not had issues with their fathers, growing up, will seek man #2/3, developing early connections and potential long term connections.

Either way, most women (I could say 90% and feel safe.) once they reach the age of 30 or so, realize that man #1 is a total asshole and that they want a real relationship. So if you fit into man #2/3, relax. You aren't missing out on anything, let the assholes do what they do best, making women appreciate the good men out there, and soon you'll meet many women who just want someone to be there for them.


I am sorry If I offended with this post, please feel free to message me if I offended you.

 

[ADDLibrarian]

Some girls like macho guys, some like emotional guys, some like batshit crazy guys. Different women like different types of guys. Just like different guys like different types of women

This girl would have to agree, but I personally will add that I appreciate a man more who can express his feelings, etc. "Macho men" seem really phony and shallow to me, just like I'm sure some guys don't care for the bubble headed, fake boobed blondes who only care about looking like sluts and couldn't have a meaningful relationship if their life depended on it.

 

[LiftYourSkinnyFists]

Escapist browsers have Caboose level skills with women.

 

[cerealnmuffin]

This isn't addressed to anyone in particular, just something I have been noticing with guys.

Girls do like guys who show emotions and are sensitive, but please do not confuse showing emotions and being sensitive with being needy and clingy. Guys who shout that 'nice guys finish last' and that girls only want jerks, usually do not know that they are coming off as clingy and reeking of desperation, calling/IM'ing a girl nonstop (creepy). A guy who can make friends with girls makes the guy more appealing.

I like guys that are sweet, sensitive, and caring, but also have confidence in themselves. Confidence doesnt mean they are muscle heads, just comfortable with themselves. I prefer gamers anyway. Having a passion makes someone appealing whether that be music, art, kung fu, whatever.

 

[Bellvedere]

In a relationship you have to show some emotion. When picking up however you don't want to seem emotionally needy. Goes for guys and girls. No one wants to see anyone crying or confessing their undying love on a first date. That just screams run away. If you're a guy don't describe yourself as really sensitive and a great listener. Passive isn't attractive.

As for liking art and stuff that's cool but you have to be careful not sound overly pretentious. I'm pretty sure real men are allowed to be funny though. Don't know where you got it from that they don't laugh.

 

[Miumaru]

Most women want the sensitive man in the end, but want them to still be men. Being masculine does not mean being a meat head.

 

[Paksenarrion]

I believe I already posted a response to a similar question...let's see...

Spoiler: here it is

Stop caring what other people think. If you don't care about their opinions, don't let them look down on you.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

I know none of you are going to believe this at all. And i'm fine with that...

But i had the opportunity to steal several girlfriends in my day. My friend was one of those 2x4's and a particularly emotionally blind one. Every single girlfriend he ever had was eventually crushing on me big time. I just seemed to understand them factors better than anyone else. I'm still good friends with several of them. I may not be the stud that they bang when they want some, but i'm the guy who has to deal with the spooning.

So do women like the macho guys better than the emotionally deep ones.... i don't know. Maybe its not a fair question, maybe they like both for different purposes.

I recall reading in an evolutionary psychology text that women who are ovulating tend to find "manly" men more attractive but then find more "sensitive" men attractive at other times. The logic being that "manly" men tend to exhibit more signs of genetic/physical health which is good for reproduction and all, but the "sensitive" guy exhibits more signs of a committed and caring partner/parent who will raise the kids better. Stupid hormones.

 

[Bellvedere]

It is a constantly repeated lesson among men that men with emotions, men that laugh, men that love, men that can appericaite the art, men that cry, are all some how "weak." If your a guy that has emotions, it is seamed agreed that your gay and will never "score" a girl (which I never understood why getting women is some kind of contest). Do you girls really think that a guy with emotions outside of "GRRRR... I HAVE BALLS OF STELL!" or "You want to do the bow chicka wow wow" is a lesser man? I would hope that it is not true, but is it?

Before i say anything, what I'm about to say is very sexist but I do think many women will agree with me, I say this not out of malice but out of observation.


Reference material.
man #1, the badboy, general asshole who treats women poorly and only wants sex, no meaningful relationships, this man will die alone, likely with a few diseases to leave to the kids he will never know.
man #2, The Emotional guy, this man is very in touch with his feminine side and can be around women without constantly thinking about boning, he listens and legitimately cares about what women think, he will most likely find someone to be with, for reasons which will be covered later.
man #3, The regular man, This guy is balanced, he cares about women in a legitimate way, but has his own agenda, he may seek a long term relationship, he may not, but he will develop connections beyond random casual sex, and he might just avoid some evil STDs too.

Young women are seeking freedom, college age women are breaking away from the bonds of childhood and their parents, and often seek man #1, this happens mostly with women who have self esteem issues and have been heavily influenced by their fathers, developing a dependency issue. This occurs mostly between ages 18-27(up to 30, maybe.) This seems the most common because Teenage girls often have little interaction with their fathers, especially in the age of texting.

Other women who have not had issues with their fathers, growing up, will seek man #2/3, developing early connections and potential long term connections.

Either way, most women (I could say 90% and feel safe.) once they reach the age of 30 or so, realize that man #1 is a total asshole and that they want a real relationship. So if you fit into man #2/3, relax. You aren't missing out on anything, let the assholes do what they do best, making women appreciate the good men out there, and soon you'll meet many women who just want someone to be there for them.


I am sorry If I offended with this post, please feel free to message me if I offended you.

It is possible to just want sex out of a relationship without treating women badly. Sometimes that's all that girls want too. I have a couple of male friends who are just after one night stands and "cuddle" friends but they also have plenty of female friends and treat women well.

Not all women who want casual sex have daddy issues. Women like sex. I don't know if you heard but we're allowed to enjoy it rather than lie back and think of England these days. Implying that all girls under 30 have daddy issues is silly. Yes, there are women who constantly seek male approval because they lack it in their childhood. However this isn't caused by girls neglecting their fathers but the other way round.

ALL people look for exciting relationships. The bad-boy isn't everyone's type because he represents male approval. The reason women are attracted to dangerous men has to do with natural instinct. And anyone looking for a relationship isn't going to go after the person NOT looking for a relationship. Men who sleep around and are easy are pretty unattractive, just as I'm sure the reverse is true.

Many girls are not looking for a life-time relationship right after leaving home.

Oh and never ever believe that when people grow up they become normal. There are crazy women and men well over 30. Hell, I know people over 40 who are still immature in crazy destructive relationships.

Also #2 sounds like a pussy.

 

[biofiend]

What's with all the manly-hate?
Do I get laid because people confuse me with Shinji Ikari?
At conventions.
Do I get laid because I have amazing balls of steel?
I like to think so.
Am I in a happy relationship with a smart and independent woman because I sleep around when she's not looking?
Totally.
All I'm saying is: why all the manly-men grief?
Ten bucks says that seventy plus percent of you guys are overweight.
And smell.
God I love my balls.

 

[ZephrC]

What? No. Nononono. The key is to be an insensitive asshole that doesn't care about the people around you, but it's also required to have emotions. Women don't generally want to date a robot. If they do... well, let's just say they don't need a man at all.

Also, to be fair, asshole is really not quite what you should go for. More like self-important prick. Disdain for the woman you're trying to get is helpful as well. Nothing sets off female hormones quite like being ignored by a guy that's at the center of attention.

But emotions are absolutely necessary. Especially positive ones. Laughter in particular is your friend. Once you've been with a girl a bit, rarely sharing negative emotions with her can be even better. It makes her feel special that you're willing to share things with her that most guys keep private. Just don't over do it. Nobody likes being around someone that's miserable all the time.

 

[DMonkey]

Balance it, and be realistic. Women don't want to date a wuss, but don't want to date a brick either. Be honest with your interests and mannerisms, and be fine to be one of the lads. I assume that as you are asking this question, you are quite young- don't worry about it too much. Be happy and confident in yourself, and before you know it, you'll be rolling in the poontang. My fiancée is reading this as I type, and she agrees

Listen to this guy. He is right. It really does work!

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Here is the answer. Are you ready? good

The trick is this: Be both. The manly man will make for a short, meaningless relationship while the sissy boy will make for a harder to get drama filled relationship. "Alright" your probably thinking "both is fine but how much of each?" good question. About 40-60 , 50-50 or 60-40 (emotional-manly) of course this depends on your lady.

To put it into an complicated metaphor: No one wants bread thats completely soggy or completely stale. The best bread has a crunchy outside and a soft inside.

hope that helped

EDIT Also this is a girl's point of view

Trust me, after the disaster that was the few relationships I ever had, I am not trying to find a girlfriend any time soon. I am just really wondering about the women's point of view on this.