another 'why do people do/say this' topic on illness

[Wounded Melody]

Yea, I seem to be having the misfortune of having to talk with either very rude or just 'head up their arse' type people lately. First the wanting kids things now...
Why do some people, upon hearing that you or a loved one suffers from a certain illness or disability, say things like 'I'm glad that isn't me', 'I wouldn't want to be like that', 'I would hate having to use a wheelchair' etc.
Great, so not only do I have to live with the fact that a family member is disabled, I also have to be reminded how really crappy it is XD

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

So what disability does this family member have? I would like to know.

 

[ThePreshFrince]

People are stumped when they hear stuff like that. What are they gonna say? So instead, they just opt to say what they're thinking. When I see a guy with his leg in a cast I think "I'm glad my leg isn't broken". When I see a car with its tires slashed I think "I'm glad that's not my car". It's.. Human nature. You'd do the same if it wasn't so close to you, apparently.

 

[Angry Caterpillar]

I don't know about them, but since I'm physically incapable of showing compassion or that I care about anything, I generally say things like that to show my friends that I completely care and send my best regards to that family member, but can't show it.

 

[Wounded Melody]

So what disability does this family member have? I would like to know.

My mother is paraplegic due to Multiple Sclerosis.

 

[ThePreshFrince]

Yeah, there isn't much else you can do to make a person with a disability feel bad, is there?

It annoys me as well, my nephew has Downs syndrome, and this one whiny little brat who I used to know in school said something along the lines of 'Heh, I'm glad I'm not retarded.' when I told him.

Ooh, the spite I gave him that day.

What else is someone gonna say? You put them on the spot when you tell them something like that. "I'm so sorry" is just as awkward.

 

[Plurralbles]

... that's what people say in their heads, not to the friend or relative of the person it's affecting... Generations are justgettin gmore and more full of douche.

I say nothing. There isn't anything to say.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

For some, it's gaining a higher level of appreciation for what one has and doesn't have

For others, it's asking to be Kicked in the face
Exhibit A:

It annoys me as well, my nephew has Downs syndrome, and this one whiny little brat who I used to know in school said something along the lines of 'Heh, I'm glad I'm not retarded.'

As for why they say it out loud, sometimes people say things the instant the pop into their head

Ooh, the spite I gave him that day.

And by Spite you mean...?

 

[Insanum]

Yea, I seem to be having the misfortune of having to talk with either very rude or just 'head up their arse' type people lately. First the wanting kids things now...
Why do some people, upon hearing that you or a loved one suffers from a certain illness or disability, say things like 'I'm glad that isn't me', 'I wouldn't want to be like that', 'I would hate having to use a wheelchair' etc.
Great, so not only do I have to live with the fact that a family member is disabled, I also have to be reminded how really crappy it is XD

Please, For the love of god edit to say "people", Please.

---

Anyway, Ive seen some mental diseases where your motor neuorones just...Stop working. Trapping you in your own body, so to speak.

If i was EVER diagnosed with one of those, I'd be on the next plane to switzerland. Spiting someone who has disabilies is just...Well..Stupid, But its only natural to NOT want a disability.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

So what disability does this family member have? I would like to know.

My mother is paraplegic due to Multiple Sclerosis.

Damn that's gotta be a pain dude.

 

[Wounded Melody]

Please, For the love of god edit to say "people", Please.

Just for you, I would. But why don't I know how to do that? -.-;

 

[Wounded Melody]

So what disability does this family member have? I would like to know.

My mother is paraplegic due to Multiple Sclerosis.

Damn that's gotta be a pain dude.

I knew I was walking into this one...was hoping not but...

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

I told him that he was, in fact, the retarded one in the equation. And then I punched him on the shoulder.

Bit of an overreaction really, but he had kept stealing my stuff earlier, so I was very pissed off with him.

Bit of an Underreaction if you ask me, but it'll do.

Nicely done.

 

[Insanum]

Please, For the love of god edit to say "people", Please.

Just for you, I would. But why don't I know how to do that? -.-;

Hit "Edit" on you OP, You should be able to edit the thread title.

Im not too fussed about grammar & all that, bt txt spk isnt gd on here.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

So what disability does this family member have? I would like to know.

My mother is paraplegic due to Multiple Sclerosis.

Damn that's gotta be a pain dude.

I knew I was walking into this one...was hoping not but...

Im just sayin it is because i have an Aunt who also has MS

 

[Casual Shinji]

I've honestly never heard people talk like that.

And it's a good thing to, because my dad is severely disabled and any mean joke on his expence would be met a hammering.

 

[ArcWinter]

Hmm, I don't know. I wouldn't say that. I'd be more "Cool story, bro. Now go, it's your turn," and then we would resume our game of Risk.

I would like to reference a quote from someplace: Don't tell people your problems. 80% don't care and 20% are glad you have them.

This applies to telling people about other people's problems as well. I'm in the 80% that doesn't care. It's not a really fun conversation when you start mentioning your cousins with polio or Parkinson's. So, don't mention it.

"Life is short, don't mess up. If you do, I don't want to hear it. I'll learn from my own mistakes." - Dickface Something (yes, that actually is my friend's name)

Although that doesn't really apply if you're born like that. If you are, well, that sucks. But it totally wrecks my vibe when you mention it, dude.

 

[Angerwing]

If someone tells me something like that, I'll just nod and say "Alright" or something, to signify my understanding. Usually if they tell me something like that, they aren't looking for consolation or well-wishers, but they're just explaining the situation. So I acknowledge it, and show my understanding. It's the best thing you can do, and it doesn't turn out awkward.

 

[Wounded Melody]

Hmm, I don't know. I wouldn't say that. I'd be more "Cool story, bro. Now go, it's your turn," and then we would resume our game of Risk.

I would like to reference a quote from someplace: Don't tell people your problems. 80% don't care and 20% are glad you have them.

This applies to telling people about other people's problems as well. I'm in the 80% that doesn't care. It's not a really fun conversation when you start mentioning your cousins with polio or Parkinson's. So, don't mention it.

"Life is short, don't mess up. If you do, I don't want to hear it. I'll learn from my own mistakes." - Dickface Something (yes, that actually is my friend's name)

I don't usually go telling people, but sometimes it comes up. I was telling an electrician that we need our circuits checked to see if we can run hospital grade equipment, and after describing the stuff he said he would hate to have to use stuff like that...

ETA: that's not even the worst though. When I was visiting my mother in the hospital and doing everything for her since she was really out of it, her 'roommate' made a comment about she wouldn't be able to stand 'being like that'.

 

[ThePreshFrince]

I told him that he was, in fact, the retarded one in the equation. And then I punched him on the shoulder.

Bit of an overreaction really, but he had kept stealing my stuff earlier, so I was very pissed off with him.

Bit of an Underreaction if you ask me, but it'll do.

Nicely done.

Yeah, that's pretty decent control there actually. Guy said "I'd hate to go bald" when I mentioned my mom starting chemotherapy and I messed the brother up.