Apple Rejects Hot Mess For "Barely Dressed" 8-Bit Smooching

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Apple Rejects Hot Mess For "Barely Dressed" 8-Bit Smooching

[tweet t=https://twitter.com/Secret_Library/status/397793555298529281]​
Hot Mess, an 8-bit style game about a defective firefighting robot that tries to extinguish the flames of passion, is still too sexy for Apple.

First and foremost, let us be clear that this is not a story about Hot Mess, but rather a story about silliness. We all know that Apple has some pretty strict policies regarding App Store content - "If you want to describe sex, write a book [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/121539-Apple-If-You-Want-To-Criticize-Religion-Write-a-Book]" and all that sort of thing - but even so, it's hard to imagine an 8-bit top-down game with little tiny pixellated characters as crossing the line into "Too Much Sexy." Right?

Apparently not. In Hot Mess, you play as a firefighting robot who goes haywire and mistakes the burning hotness of desire for the burning hotness of actual flames, and then does his best to put it out. Developer Secret Library initially submitted the game to Apple with naked couples - tiny and blocky couples, but naked nontheless - but it was quickly rejected for violating the company's rules against "excessively objectionable or crude content."

Undaunted, designer Nick Ralabate "added about 20 white pixels to simulate underwear," he told Pocket Gamer, and sent it in again - and again, it was rejected, because it "displays a barely dressed couple kissing." Which it does, to be sure, and yet I have a hard time imagining that anyone could possibly find the images even remotely sexy, much less "excessively objectionable or crude."

Despite the setback, Secret Library isn't giving up. "Our plan is to slowly and awkwardly clothe our 8-bit lovers in some bizarre digital re-enactment of the 'walk of shame'," Ralabate said. The studio also admitted on Twitter that it's been a valuable learning experience, writing, "I guess the lesson is don't design games based on puerile visual gags."

Source: Pocket Gamer [https://twitter.com/Secret_Library]


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nuba km

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Jun 7, 2010
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StewShearer said:
I was going to check how long it was going to take for someone to make that joke, I applaud you on your speed.

OT: can there be anything said about this except, Really!?
 

saxman234

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Nov 23, 2011
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Darn, Apple is such a terrible overlord. I really wish people would not buy apple products. Apple pulling crap like this is just incredibly stupid. Iphones have parental locks, lets blame parents if the kids are downloading stuff that they shouldn't. Why should the devs who are actually making decent stuff (that real people may want) be punished. Why do these stores need to be the illusion of paragon of good, just have a different store based on the persons age. And if some dumb ass kid with an iphone (lets be serious 12 year olds should not have smart phones anyways) downloads something they shouldn't, then lets blame the parents faults, but no, we have to blame the company since parents never take responsibility for their kids. Apple is just putting their own skewed opinion on what is acceptable.

Sorry for a mini rant, as a software developer (or I like to pretend I am), this type of censoring and preventing products people make from going to market for stupid reasons like this, really piss me off.
 

Doom972

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Dec 25, 2008
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Why submit themselves to Apple's bullshit? They could've released it on Android and PC by now.
 

Worgen

Follower of the Glorious Sun Butt.
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Apr 1, 2009
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Whatever, just wash your hands.
He should just have both the characters suddenly appear in nun outfits and give each other a firm handshake.
 

V8 Ninja

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May 15, 2010
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Can't Apple just have an age restriction system when attempting to buy particular apps? I understand outright banning pornographic content on the App Store, but also banning this stuff about religion, criticism, and implied nudity? It all seems a bit pointless.
 

Strazdas

Robots will replace your job
May 28, 2011
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Apple is a perfect example of american way of thinking about media. extreme violence by being a basically inpent hired murderer (clear vision game) - perfectly ok for 14 year olds. Two pixelated people kissing - instant ban.