Australian McDonald's Now Spraying Thieves With DNA

Mike Kayatta

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Aug 2, 2011
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Australian McDonald's Now Spraying Thieves With DNA



It looks like robbers won't have it so easy stealing from McDonald's anymore. Sorry, Hamburgler.

After a string of recent robberies at its franchises across Australia, McDonald's has chosen to partner with security firm SelectaDNA to equip its restaurants with "DNA Spray." Now, if someone shows up who wants a handful of cash instead of a handful of french fries, a small device above the exit will activate during his or her getaway, covering the bandit's skin and clothing with a synthetic DNA strand made up of sixty separate chromosomes. The newly introduced DNA will then seep harmlessly into his or her skin for two weeks (and clothes for six months) allowing the police to reveal the culprit using UV light.

The spray is both invisible and odorless, but even if the hapless highwayman notices the deoxyribonucleic acid rain cloud, SelectaDNA assures that its chemical concoction is "virtually impossible to remove." Making matters worse for the offender is that each DNA sequence is unique to the location to which it was installed, meaning a successful forensic identification is 100% admissible in court. Basically, if you get caught in this stuff, you're screwed.

According to SelectaDNA, individuals, police, and corporations are showing an average 85% reduction in crime due to what it describes as the "DNA Fear Factor." No, that's not a SyFy channel spin-off of the popular reality show; it's the idea that this process is so effective and/or bizarrely horrifying that criminals probably figure it's easier to make money by simply getting a job at McDonald's instead (or perhaps just by robbing somewhere that doesn't squirt you with forged genetic blueprints).

For now, McDonald's is giving this new security system a trial run at seven locations across The Land Down Under, including one unfortunate franchise in Merryland that was recently robbed twice within one week. If things go well, the corporation will be installing DNA squirt cannons on the exits of all 780 locations across the continent.

Source: Geek.com [http://www.geek.com/articles/geek-cetera/mcdonalds-starts-using-dna-spray-to-curb-theft-in-australia-20120120/]



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Qitz

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Mar 6, 2011
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So you rob the store and get DNA shot all over ya? I thought porn stars had it bad Ba-Zing!

Though, can't you just go in wearing a mask and glove then throw the cloths away when your done? It seeps into the persons skin sure but if you're all bundled up can it get through cloths.
 

Kargathia

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Jul 16, 2009
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The fashionable robber always brings an umbrella anyway.

Alternatively: Brick, meet window. Window, meet brick.

Poor window never quite recovered from the shock.
 

Justaidan

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Dec 24, 2008
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Kevlar Eater said:
Counter: Wear a raincoat and something to protect the eyes, face and hands.
Or just go out through the window when available.

Since robberies are less likely in big departments I am assuming that single building MacDonalds are being targeted for easy getaways.

Edit: Ninja'd, still it is really obvious how to get around their silly level of high tech security.
 

Kopikatsu

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May 27, 2010
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Justaidan said:
Kevlar Eater said:
Counter: Wear a raincoat and something to protect the eyes, face and hands.
Or just go out through the window when available.

Since robberies are less likely in big departments I am assuming that single building MacDonalds are being targeted for easy getaways.

Edit: Ninja'd, still it is really obvious how to get around their silly level of high tech security.
They could just install a booby trap from Indiana Jones. Hit a button and the next person to go through the door gets skewered on iron pikes.

Low tech solutions are the best solutions.
 

Micalas

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Kopikatsu said:
Justaidan said:
Kevlar Eater said:
Counter: Wear a raincoat and something to protect the eyes, face and hands.
Or just go out through the window when available.

Since robberies are less likely in big departments I am assuming that single building MacDonalds are being targeted for easy getaways.

Edit: Ninja'd, still it is really obvious how to get around their silly level of high tech security.
They could just install a booby trap from Indiana Jones. Hit a button and the next person to go through the door gets skewered on iron pikes.

Low tech solutions are the best solutions.
A giant rock drops out of the ceiling and flattens the bastard.


Or if we don't want to kill them, we could always just turn the escape into a bukkake party. It just rains down on them!
 

Baresark

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Dec 19, 2010
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Now everyone knows about it. I would like to point out the difference between an idiot and a reasonably intelligent criminal. Idiots run in, demand money and run away, often times not even wearing a mask or anything to cover their face. A seasoned criminal will wear something to obscure his face. A dumbass robs McDonalds, walks two blocks and grabs a beer. An intelligent person robs McDonalds in throw away clothes, leaves to secluded area, throws clothes away and puts on a pair he/she had stored in the area secretly. An idiot doesn't bother covering his hands or any parts of the body that could possibly identify them (tattoos, scars, etc.). Someone with 2+ brain cells to rub together wears gloves and covers their whole body in an obscuring layer of clothes. So, if someone had 2 minutes to plan this, this system would be as useless as the police as the already useless camera system I'm sure they have in place. You know, the one that can't even catch the guys who don't even bother wearing masks.
 

yayforgiveaway

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Aug 25, 2009
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They'll be sued in 3..2..1..
Think of an accident when they spray normal costumers, moral losses and such.
 

JoJo

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Baresark said:
Now everyone knows about it. I would like to point out the difference between an idiot and a reasonably intelligent criminal. Idiots run in, demand money and run away, often times not even wearing a mask or anything to cover their face. A seasoned criminal will wear something to obscure his face. A dumbass robs McDonalds, walks two blocks and grabs a beer. An intelligent person robs McDonalds in throw away clothes, leaves to secluded area, throws clothes away and puts on a pair he/she had stored in the area secretly. An idiot doesn't bother covering his hands or any parts of the body that could possibly identify them (tattoos, scars, etc.). Someone with 2+ brain cells to rub together wears gloves and covers their whole body in an obscuring layer of clothes. So, if someone had 2 minutes to plan this, this system would be as useless as the police as the already useless camera system I'm sure they have in place. You know, the one that can't even catch the guys who don't even bother wearing masks.
That's all true but the fact is that most criminals ARE idiots though, as if they had much in brains they'd choose a career that didn't involve risking imprisonment. Furthermore most of the more intelligent criminals will probably be aiming higher than robbing a McDonalds of all places.
 

keideki

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Sep 10, 2008
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My question is do we know if there are any long term effects of having this stuff sprayed on you? This would be pretty fail if 30 years down the line all the criminals get cancer or something... I can see all sorts of issues. What happens if that system goes off by accident? This whole bit of technology is kinda creepy if you ask me.
 

Baresark

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JoJoDeathunter said:
Baresark said:
That's all true but the fact is that most criminals ARE idiots though, as if they had much in brains they'd choose a career that didn't involve risking imprisonment. Furthermore most of the more intelligent criminals will probably be aiming higher than robbing a McDonalds of all places.
Haha, I know. I just wonder about stuff like this. I was having more fun than anything else. I know most are idiots or do something in the heat of the moment. The secret to being a good criminal is premeditating everything and always having a plan. But people who typically do these two things also have no reason to be criminals.
 

2fish

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Sep 10, 2008
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Ok then new plan:

1. Wear disposable clothes burn after robbery, clothes must cover all skin, maybe wear goggles?
2. If misted shoot people in rage. This seems like a real fear to me as if I figure I am now going to be caught because this employee misted me I am damn well gonna kill them.
3. Cool idea though
 

Regiment

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Nov 9, 2009
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I love living in the future. Next up, DNA spray makes criminals glow like lightbulbs, or maybe makes them melt under direct sunlight.
 

Justaidan

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Dec 24, 2008
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Regiment said:
I love living in the future. Next up, DNA spray makes criminals glow like lightbulbs, or maybe makes them melt under direct sunlight.
Easy to make them glow, might cause cancer.

This actually was an idea for glow in the dark rave-style tattoos.
The photophysics involved produced/would have produced free radicals etc within the skin.
That's bad.
 

putowtin

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Jul 7, 2010
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Micalas said:
Kopikatsu said:
Justaidan said:
Kevlar Eater said:
Counter: Wear a raincoat and something to protect the eyes, face and hands.
Or just go out through the window when available.

Since robberies are less likely in big departments I am assuming that single building MacDonalds are being targeted for easy getaways.

Edit: Ninja'd, still it is really obvious how to get around their silly level of high tech security.
They could just install a booby trap from Indiana Jones. Hit a button and the next person to go through the door gets skewered on iron pikes.

Low tech solutions are the best solutions.
A giant rock drops out of the ceiling and flattens the bastard.


Or if we don't want to kill them, we could always just turn the escape into a bukkake party. It just rains down on them!
or we could just make them eat a McDonalds, they'll still be in the bathroom when the cops show up!