Aversion to Children

JoJo

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Daverson said:
No one really likes kids. It's actually physically impossible. The only reason parents are so keen on them is the sunk cost fallacy.
Really? Huh, I guess the three years of voluntary work I did with children with no benefit to myself other than enjoying their company didn't happen, I must have been imagining things. Funny that.

Otherwise, I agree with Lack's post on the last page, if some of these posts had been made about an ethnic group, or a gender, then the warnings wouldn't be coming fast enough. Jesus people, if you don't like kids then you're entitled to your opinion but don't dehumanise and insult an entire age group because of the actions of a few.
 

Ashadowpie

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alot of people dont want children now a days, life is too important to deal with drooling screaming alien looking babies to some people. including me. i totally understand the pregnant body is disturbing as well, i dont find it beautiful at all, very much the opposite. the bloated belly, the pain and mood swings it suffers only to the mother, its an awful thing to imagine, dont forget that giving birth to something clearly too big is also a mentally scarring thing to witness, thank you health class for making me Asexual i really do appreciate it hahaha

maybe its because of over population that we as humans do not want children or find a pregnant belly disgustying? this could be an instinct we just dont understand because we are so removed from nature now? im just rambling but i completely understand you. my children will always be pets and i love and care for them as good as any mother to her baby is, if not better because pets are easier to take care of, and i educated myself before getting a pet. unlike ALOT of parents sadly.
 

AgedGrunt

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SinisterGehe said:
I think the whole "You were a child argument..." is horribly stupid. It is like saying a recovering alcoholic "You can't hate booze, you used to drink".
The process of ending and recovering from addiction is about breaking free of crippling physical and mental dependencies that only destroy good things, your own life and everyone around you. If you're that cynical to believe that growing up is nature's "process" of maturing people beyond something terrible, harmful and corrupting, that's pretty terrible itself. Either you had a really bad childhood or haven't been around good children, or spent enough time with them to understand them on more than a narrow, if not superficial level.

SinisterGehe said:
I used to hate children for most parts till around the age of 13-14+ when you could talk to them and receive a semi-coherent answer.
This raises all sorts of questions about your own childhood and life that only a psychologist could ask. Children a fraction of that age are coherent and intelligent enough to talk to an adult. Do you have schools where you live? And how could you "hate" children too young to have even developed the intelligence to hold a mature conversation? That flies in the face of your rebuke of "you were a child once". Do you hate yourself that you once couldn't talk to people?

So much of this thread is wrong, yet so much explains the modern culture of single people, childless couples and pro-abortion society. These self-centered attitudes will get society no where but down.
 

Atrocious Joystick

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Eh, the thought of not having children in the future is actually really depressing to me. I mean what would I even do? Going out with pals, slacking off, playing video games, eating bad shit and working out thinking it´ll somehow compensate is all fine and dandy now but I just made it into my twenties. If I´m lucky I´m looking at a few years of university studies with the lifestyle that goes along with it and I´m looking forward to that but after that I want to have kids and a house and a dog or something. I can´t imagine myself in my thirties, living like I do now. I figure it would be terribly lonely and very uneventful. Just counting down the days until I die essentially.
 

IceForce

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JoJo said:
if some of these posts had been made about an ethnic group, or a gender, then the warnings wouldn't be coming fast enough.
The difference being, no one under 13 is supposed to be accessing this site.

So, since no children are members of this forum, then they're open to being insulted. (Isn't that how it works?)
 

SinisterGehe

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AgedGrunt said:
How about if you stop trying to do psychological analysis of me without knowing my full history or me personally. Or even what country and culture I am from.
 

JoJo

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IceForce said:
JoJo said:
if some of these posts had been made about an ethnic group, or a gender, then the warnings wouldn't be coming fast enough.
The difference being, no one under 13 is supposed to be accessing this site.

So, since no children are members of this forum, then they're open to being insulted. (Isn't that how it works?)
That's correct, I actually checked with the mods about it a couple of years back and that's the reasoning. 13 year olds are arguably still children however and so you could argue for some warnings on those grounds, not likely to happen though.
 

lacktheknack

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SinisterGehe said:
AgedGrunt said:
How about if you stop trying to do psychological analysis of me without knowing my full history or me personally. Or even what country and culture I am from.
Why? It's something to do, and you're giving us plenty to work with, country and culture be damned.
 

Zack84

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What is with all you people? Yeah, I often find little kids incredibly annoying/obnoxious. Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood and some little snot does something particularly irritating, my heart begins to race just fantasizing about riverdancing on their little face.

All THAT said, c'mon. Kids can be incredibly cute, funny, intelligent, and surprisingly observational. Sometimes a kid will say something that is from such a less filtered and jaded perspective from that of adults that you can't help but be moved by it. It is a joy to teach an engaged kid about something, and it is a joy to realize what you stand to learn FROM children.

I can be as bitter and cynical as the next guy, but some of you need to lighten the fuck up. Children do not have a monopoly on obnoxiousness; plenty of adults are awful, and plenty of kids are delightful. Open your minds.
 

Zack84

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AgedGrunt said:
SinisterGehe said:
I think the whole "You were a child argument..." is horribly stupid. It is like saying a recovering alcoholic "You can't hate booze, you used to drink".
The process of ending and recovering from addiction is about breaking free of crippling physical and mental dependencies that only destroy good things, your own life and everyone around you. If you're that cynical to believe that growing up is nature's "process" of maturing people beyond something terrible, harmful and corrupting, that's pretty terrible itself. Either you had a really bad childhood or haven't been around good children, or spent enough time with them to understand them on more than a narrow, if not superficial level.

SinisterGehe said:
I used to hate children for most parts till around the age of 13-14+ when you could talk to them and receive a semi-coherent answer.
This raises all sorts of questions about your own childhood and life that only a psychologist could ask. Children a fraction of that age are coherent and intelligent enough to talk to an adult. Do you have schools where you live? And how could you "hate" children too young to have even developed the intelligence to hold a mature conversation? That flies in the face of your rebuke of "you were a child once". Do you hate yourself that you once couldn't talk to people?

So much of this thread is wrong, yet so much explains the modern culture of single people, childless couples and pro-abortion society. These self-centered attitudes will get society no where but down.
I agree up until you imply there's something wrong with people being single, childless, and/or pro-choice. My issue is with blanket hatred of children.
 

Zack84

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Collegeboy21 said:
Thought I'd add a father's perspective in here. I have 2 kids. I have always disliked handling other people's kids, even nieces and nephews. Wouldn't hold them, wouldn't interact, nothing. Then I had my first kid myself and it was a LOT different from what I was expecting. Sure, he pooped himself and was kinda demanding when he was so small that he literally couldn't do anything for himself (the nerve, right?), but as soon as he got old enough to walk and talk, it was a whole new ball game. Now he waits for me on the steps of our garage when I get home from work and then runs out to me to give me a hug and tell me about his day. After a long day at work, it's the greatest thing in the world.
Now, I still don't really care for other kids, particularly when their parents are content to let them run around and scream and cry and push and pass it off with "Oh, they're kids. What can you do?" I do my very best to teach my kids manners and respect, and if my kids ever started to cause a scene in a public place like a restaurant, I was quick to remove them until they calmed down because I didn't want them disturbing everyone else. If everyone did that, then maybe so many people wouldn't dislike kids. These days, my kids are very well behaved in public. It took some work to get them there sure, but it was worth it.
As far as the body deformation that occurs to the mother, my wife has always been able to exercise away all of that baby weight and she looks just as good now as she always has.

TLDR:
I don't care for the kids of other people so much, but I love mine and wouldn't trade them for anything.
Thank you for your story and perspective. You definitely sound like a great dad.
 

Eamar

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AgedGrunt said:
So much of this thread is wrong, yet so much explains the modern culture of single people, childless couples and pro-abortion society. These self-centered attitudes will get society no where but down.
Ok, I'll bite: what's wrong with single people or childless couples? (Not going to touch abortion since that's a whole other debate. Please don't go there.)
 

Snydeclyde

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I'm with OP on this,
Not that i don't particularly like kids, but i feel uncomfortable round them.
I have no idea how to interact with them ,and being brought up in such a 'PC' culture, i'm genuinely concerned that any interaction could be seen as 'weird' or to go the extreme, the P word.
Add onto that i have to watch what i say around children means it's usually better i don't say anything, and i just don't
enjoy being near them.

I also hate the uncomfortable 'he/she's so cute isn't he/she?' non question, since if i replied that i infact don't find them cute i'd be cast out from whatever social/family gathering i was at.
I'd like to think that my opinion would change if it were my own child, but atm the thought of kids and parenthood scares me.
 

Riff Moonraker

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IceForce said:
JoJo said:
if some of these posts had been made about an ethnic group, or a gender, then the warnings wouldn't be coming fast enough.
The difference being, no one under 13 is supposed to be accessing this site.

So, since no children are members of this forum, then they're open to being insulted. (Isn't that how it works?)
Hardly. There are those of us here with children that find several of these comments highly offensive.
 

Silverbeard

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Silverbeard said:
lacktheknack said:
And... what if it comes out missing an eye? Or a leg? Or part of its brain?

Just the thought of caring for such a creature fills me with dread.

Words can't adequately convey how offended this statement makes me.
You're missing the point.
Consider it this way: If I'm making a sculpture and I make a mistake, I can throw it out and start again. That attitude doesn't work for a child that I have a hand in creating. What if it turns out disabled in some way? Was it my fault? Or was it the other half? And what happens to the little chap? Is it supposed to live out its years blind because its eyes didn't form properly? Or because it doesn't have a leg? It's life will never be 'normal' in any sense of the word and it'll be my fault.
The very thought of forcing such a horrible life on someone- anyone; my child or someone else's- terrifies me. And I avoid it for that reason.
I hope it makes more sense now, mate.
 

Pink Gregory

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I'd prefer the company of children to many of ths supposed adults that I come across on the internet and in real life.
 

Riff Moonraker

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Silverbeard said:
Silverbeard said:
lacktheknack said:
And... what if it comes out missing an eye? Or a leg? Or part of its brain?

Just the thought of caring for such a creature fills me with dread.

Words can't adequately convey how offended this statement makes me.
You're missing the point.
Consider it this way: If I'm making a sculpture and I make a mistake, I can throw it out and start again. That attitude doesn't work for a child that I have a hand in creating. What if it turns out disabled in some way? Was it my fault? Or was it the other half? And what happens to the little chap? Is it supposed to live out its years blind because its eyes didn't form properly? Or because it doesn't have a leg? It's life will never be 'normal' in any sense of the word and it'll be my fault.
The very thought of forcing such a horrible life on someone- anyone; my child or someone else's- terrifies me. And I avoid it for that reason.
I hope it makes more sense now, mate.
A valid concern, truly. Trust me, it was a prevalent thought in my head during both pregnancies with my kids. IF that were to have happened, and thank god it didnt, I would have done my duty as a father, and spared no expense, nor attempt at making my childs life the best it could possibly be. Then again, thats no different than what I am doing now, it just would have been alot more difficult if that had happened. From what I understand, there is considerable more difficulty for the parents in that case, than the child, in most cases, as we humans tend to be pretty adaptable things. Most children born with an impairment, tend to find a way to work around it pretty quickly.

But again, I do understand that train of thought, as I have gone through the same thoughts twice. For me, personally, I made up my mind that I was going to love my child irregardless of what happened, and decided it was worth trying, so I took the plunge. Two boys later, and I now know that it is the greatest achievement in my life, and I wouldnt change it for anything in the world.

Its a huge, huge, scary step to take in ones life. But man... is it worth it.
 

Silverbeard

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Riff Moonraker said:
Silverbeard said:
You're missing the point.
Consider it this way: If I'm making a sculpture and I make a mistake, I can throw it out and start again. That attitude doesn't work for a child that I have a hand in creating. What if it turns out disabled in some way? Was it my fault? Or was it the other half? And what happens to the little chap? Is it supposed to live out its years blind because its eyes didn't form properly? Or because it doesn't have a leg? It's life will never be 'normal' in any sense of the word and it'll be my fault.
The very thought of forcing such a horrible life on someone- anyone; my child or someone else's- terrifies me. And I avoid it for that reason.
I hope it makes more sense now, mate.
A valid concern, truly. Trust me, it was a prevalent thought in my head during both pregnancies with my kids. IF that were to have happened, and thank god it didnt, I would have done my duty as a father, and spared no expense, nor attempt at making my childs life the best it could possibly be. Then again, thats no different than what I am doing now, it just would have been alot more difficult if that had happened. From what I understand, there is considerable more difficulty for the parents in that case, than the child, in most cases, as we humans tend to be pretty adaptable things. Most children born with an impairment, tend to find a way to work around it pretty quickly.

But again, I do understand that train of thought, as I have gone through the same thoughts twice. For me, personally, I made up my mind that I was going to love my child irregardless of what happened, and decided it was worth trying, so I took the plunge. Two boys later, and I now know that it is the greatest achievement in my life, and I wouldnt change it for anything in the world.

Its a huge, huge, scary step to take in ones life. But man... is it worth it.
Oh sure, I could do my duty as well. I don't know the first thing about raising a child but I'd figure it out along the way, like everyone else does.

But what happens after thirty years, when my bones start to rot? Is the little guy going to resent me for creating him the way he is? Is he going to look through the window at society with its 'normal people' and ask: 'Why wasn't I made that way?'
I just can't force that kind of life on anyone- certainly not on someone who holds half my chromosomes. And I don't care what the probabilities say about it all; I'm not staking a life on a dice roll.