Back In My Day....

[SimpleChimp]

Back in my day light bulbs used to explode! Cept we didn't call them light bulbs we called them mortars, and those crazy japos kept dropping them on us like rain. Cept we didn't call it rain we called it MORTAR FIRE.

I just killed my dog!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Pah, In my day, whenever we couldn't make it to the grocery we'd murder our pets and eat them. Then we'd buy a new one as if nothing happened. That or if any of the pets mouthed off.

My shoelace is untied.

 

[nastar]

Back in my day, we didn't have shoelaces, then some random guy used ropes to stop his shoes from flopin' around. Much like my ma and pa!

My money was stolen!

 

[LilGherkin]

Back in my day women didn't have rights, and they'd have to shack up with the first guy that ask. And back than the divorce rates were lower than they are right now.

I got shot.

 

[Azraellod]

Back in my day shooting didn't stop us. We'd be full of bullet holes, and we'd keep going as if nothing had happened. Why, i recall old Danny, received 3 sniper shots to his head during dinner and didn't even notice. That was a fine man. To bad the way he died. He began to get interested in the holes in his head, and started stuffing raw potassium into them...

I lost my feet.

 

[Dorian]

Back in my day, no one had feet. We all lost 'em in the raid of England during the 100 Year War. Then we all got blocks of wood to walk around on. 'Twas cool.

I brought about the plague!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Pah, this plague is nothing. I went through the Orange plague. If you so much as breathed, you'd die. Went around with massive pegs on our noses.

I fell off of my bike!

 

[Zetsubou]

Back in my day we didn't have bikes. We rode around on dragons, slaying our enemies with unyielding vengence.

I like bacon

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Back in my day we didn't have bacon we just had waffles

Twitter's down

 

[Azraellod]

In my day, we didn't have twitter. We used messenger pigeons instead. I remember old Charlie used to try and get robins to do the same job, but he couldn't manage it. "Give it up Charlie, it's never going to work" we would say to him, but he just didn't listen. Poor guy... he finally became too ambitious and tried to make them deliver grenades. We never found all of him, and I'm sure that some of what was buried was robin...

My sword has rusted.

 

[thegamermn]

Swords? SWORDS!? In my day we didn't have swords! we had to run around yelling "Sching! Sching!" and beat our oponnents to death!


it's too cold outside

 

[Azraellod]

To cold... in my day we had to go outside in a t-shirt and shorts, even in the middle of a hurricane. I remember old Fred used to go outside and fly a kite in the damn things. He's always mention how much fun it was. Poor blighter finally died when his kite got struck by lightening...

My headphones are broken again.

 

[Zetsubou]

Back in my day everything was broken, everything. We had leaky rooves, broken homes, and all our headphones were completely broken. All the time.

South Park's on.

 

[Azraellod]

Back in my day we didn't watch south park. We didn't even have a colour TV. We just used to sit in front of the radio, watching the red lights flicker on and off. Of course they weren't supposed to do that, as we found out when one of them exploded and killed poor Rupert. We were always careful after then...

I need a plaster for my cut arm.

 

[irishdelinquent]

pssh, wuss. Back in my day our feet had holes from all the walking we had to do, to fill the holes in our socks. Uphill, of course.

My room is too hot.

 

[Pm0n3y]

Boxes?! back in my day we never had boxes! we carried everything on our pack mule and kept it all together with one piece of string! And do you know how long that string was?! it was five inches! FIVE BLOODY INCHES!!

I just lost The Game

 

[Azraellod]

Back in my day people actually did like Mudkips. They also actually spelled the name properly. The first guy to spell it wrong was strung up by a tree, a tradition I believe should be carried forwards.

I have a glass eye.

 

[thegamermn]

Pssh! In my day we had to walk 500 miles just get to school, and it wasn't even through 8 feet of snow, we didn't have snow! we had dirt! we had to wade through 8 feet of dirt to get to school, carrying our brothers and sisters on our backs, uphill, both ways!


I'm reading an awesome book

 

[Neonbob]

Hrmph.
In my day, we had to write our own "awesome" books before we could read them! Because all that was being written back then was CRAP! And we didn't have any editors or spell checks, either. It was a pen and paper. And if you had to go more than one page, you had to pay triple!

I got a dagger for five bucks!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Psh. In my day, you'd be given a dagger when you're 4 days old and only costed a few pennies!

I finally paid off my mortgage!