Bad biased reviews

[Avatar Roku]

fake or not its funny you can't deny that

So what? Its still really funny.

Was just answering the people who asked if it was real.

And yeah, it's good parody. Particularly good because there ARE people who act like that.

I know. Especially the whole "this game is bad because it's secular" thing.

 

[EXPLICITasian]

i liked the doom one... "Unfortunately, the game's maker, John Carmack, is an Atheist. This means that he had no clue what he was doing when he used this idea as the central narrative of his game. Instead of highlighting the positive aspects of Spiritual Warfare and uplifting people to become Warriors for Christ, his Atheistic ignorance of the Bible let him become a conduit for Satan to sensationalize the demonic enemies, actually making them seductive to youth" ...lewl

 

[Gelp]

I'm really amazed at how sincere these reviews sound though. It's just like hearing it from my grandmother.

 

[Avatar Roku]

i liked the doom one... "Unfortunately, the game's maker, John Carmack, is an Atheist. This means that he had no clue what he was doing when he used this idea as the central narrative of his game. Instead of highlighting the positive aspects of Spiritual Warfare and uplifting people to become Warriors for Christ, his Atheistic ignorance of the Bible let him become a conduit for Satan to sensationalize the demonic enemies, actually making them seductive to youth" ...lewl

you said it.

 

[Resistance205]

I loved the one about all the Halo's.

Apparenlty, they think tea bagging is a forced thing to do, which every player must partake in.

They think Halo was made to promote homosexuality! I can't belive that! It is so funny!

 

[Avatar Roku]

I loved the one about all the Halo's.

Apparenlty, they think tea bagging is a forced thing to do, which every player must partake in.

They think Halo was made to promote homosexuality! I can't belive that! It is so funny!

And also surprisingly true.

 

[Lavi]

Ahem,

TETUS WILL CORRUPT YOUR CHILDREN AND RAPE YOUR MOTHER!

 

[Samurai Goomba]

The varied gameplay includes asteroid blasting, snowball fights, and consulting your Bible.

Wow, that makes me wanna run out and pick up this game!

Dance Praise is like the Secular game "Dance Dance Revolution" only with wholesome Christian songs and no Communist overtones.

I don't care if this is a joke site, that's still hilarious.

Its repetitive gameplay and use of a repetitive Russian folk tune causes players to slip into a hypnagogic state, making them receptive to the Communistic themes inherent in the game imagery (everyone is an unindividualistic block that must be made to fit together in Soviet conformity, and sometimes whole lines of people are made to disappear without any explanation).

That above part was about Tetris. TETRIS!

Will Right, the guy who made Spore, is a professed Atheist, so he likes to deceive people with so-called "satire" (which is really just an elitist way of saying "lies"... did you know that the word "satire" is really a combination of the words "Satan" and "ire"? It's true, I read it somewhere.)

This is just too good.

 

[Avatar Roku]

The varied gameplay includes asteroid blasting, snowball fights, and consulting your Bible.

Wow, that makes me wanna run out and pick up this game!

Dance Praise is like the Secular game "Dance Dance Revolution" only with wholesome Christian songs and no Communist overtones.

I don't care if this is a joke site, that's still hilarious.

Its repetitive gameplay and use of a repetitive Russian folk tune causes players to slip into a hypnagogic state, making them receptive to the Communistic themes inherent in the game imagery (everyone is an unindividualistic block that must be made to fit together in Soviet conformity, and sometimes whole lines of people are made to disappear without any explanation).

That above part was about Tetris. TETRIS!

Will Right, the guy who made Spore, is a professed Atheist, so he likes to deceive people with so-called "satire" (which is really just an elitist way of saying "lies"... did you know that the word "satire" is really a combination of the words "Satan" and "ire"? It's true, I read it somewhere.)

This is just too good.

That is way too funny.

 

[VTSK]

It's hard to tell if this is real or not. On the one hand, it's so ridiculous and over the top that it's hard to believe, but on the other, there are a lot of disturbed people in the world. The second I saw tetris on the the list of secular games, I started to wonder...

Still, I must admit, these reviews are hilariously bad. Snake is an agent of Satan? Meryl IS Satan???? And all the anti-gay stuff... could you be more ridiculously homophobic???

Darwin pwns.

 

[Avatar Roku]

It's hard to tell if this is real or not. On the one hand, it's so ridiculous and over the top that it's hard to believe, but on the other, there are a lot of disturbed people in the world. The second I saw tetris on the the list of secular games, I started to wonder...

Still, I must admit, these reviews are hilariously bad. Snake is an agent of Satan? Meryl IS Satan???? And all the anti-gay stuff... could you be more ridiculously homophobic???

Darwin pwns.

Its a joke, but its still funny as hell

 

[Hevoo]

So I looked at each one, and holy crap....... This guy is a nut case.

 

[hypothetical fact]

"Did you know that satire is really a combination of the words satan and ire? It's true I read it somewhere."
This site is a trove of knowledge.

 

[leugim789]

i went all around campus finding boys to kiss- yep sounds like a pastor, just kidding please no flame wars, i am catholic.

 

[LCP]

bro im catholic too, and i find this hillarious

 

[Hevoo]

bro im catholic too, and i find this hillarious

<--Catholic,

These Evangelical Christian make me laugh sometimes.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

I'm Christian, and I find this hilarious.

 

[Russian Redneck]

Uh oh! I guess my old church is Satanic and un-Christian-like because they allow Sunday school students to play blasphemy like Sonic the Hedgehog and racing games that glamorize speed and destruction. Not only is this blasphemous blasphemy so blasphemous but it also takes kids away from the teachings and desensitizes them to accept this blasphemous blasphemy and increase Satan's army!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[cypherslock]

What is it a parody of exactly? Fundies (Fundamentalist Christians *BARF*) in general or one specific site?

 

[Avatar Roku]

What is it a parody of exactly? Fundies (Fundamentalist Christians *BARF*) in general or one specific site?

No idea. Oh, and welcome to the Escapist.