Hurray Forums said:
You're missing the point, the point isn't that people around me are racist, the point is that we've worked to overcome it because it's bad despite the fact that it's hardwired, which is what we should do with the whole "men must chase and women must wait" thing.
My original point that I didn't communicate very well is that I dispute that racism was ever "hardwired". In point of fact, I believe the opposite to be true, and that the geographic divisions that have led to physical changes in each race would have been unremarkable except for brothers and sisters marrying, leading to absolute stupidity. (Ok, base cause of stupidity is not meant to be literal, but Darwin and his Law are failing here.)
If I dispute the first point, I'm not accepting of it as a basis for which a comparison can be made with the male hunting instinct. I also think it's a bad idea to trivialise or deny our instincts. I see babies/children, I melt. A mere singular example of genetic hardwiring I may not necessarily believe in, but I'd rather take the world AS IS than run about imagining Utopia and never changing anything.
Hurray Forums said:
Men get rejected too, but they're expected to get back on the horse and keep trying, same thing should apply to women.
We have only about 1,000 ways we demonstrate interest. Most male/female contact is actually initiated by the woman, if only the man learns a few of the signals she sends, he'll know who is receptive. The men who seem to score all the chicks are reading the neon signs, either consciously or subconsciously, that's she's screaming at him. We're not doing ALL the bloody work here, we do most of it as is!
Hurray Forums said:
I agree that having your own life and personality is important, secrets not so much. I mean, I'm not saying you have to give them your life story on the first date, but at some point I think the relationship should grow to where you can share all your emotions with the other person. Maybe that's just romanticism talking though.
This book is aimed primarily at women, but makes a very good case for me. It's called "What French Women Know about love, sex, and other matters of the heart and mind" and is written by an American woman called Debra Ollivier, who married a French guy and moved to France. They have a healthier attitude towards love and sex, they do not have this "homosociality" that we have (sticking to groups comprised solely of our own gender), and they're having way more sex than we are. With less guilt!!! While I don't want to advocate suddenly turning French, we're like kindergartners in comparison, and this annoying and pervasive myth regarding partners being "best friends" is a lie, a betrayal, and passion destroying and I WANT IT DEAD. I have best friends, and I'm not having sex with them for a reason. You can either be my lover, or my best friend, but both is pushing it.
And as for adding children into the equation... Forget it. We Westerners need to get out of preschool, and we're not going to do that if we don't start CHALLENGING these stupid notions of love and life that Hollywood and Hallmark are trying to shove down our throats.
/reply and all future replies since the more impassioned I get the more likely I am to get banned. This is not supposed to be a personal thing, I'm just frustrated with the whole institution for letting us down, lying to us, and disappointed in us for not THINKING FOR OURSELVES and GROWING UP into MATURE ADULTS instead of a whiny set of snivelling teenagers, with the attention span of a gnat, a feeling of entitlement, and the tolerance of a tired 3 year old. And it's an inter-generational problem.
