Beholders Become Cute in Kid's Version of D&D

[Wildrow12]

Okay, I'm going to ask the million dollar question: How is this game going to address the Tarrasque? Lichs? Death Knights? Succubi? The Dutch?

There are somethings that you just have to face as a kid. Scary things. Things that make you grow and find the courage within yourself.

 

[Galad]

Great idea, I must admit. But it doesn't sit well with me. Beholders are not supposed to look cute and cuddly. They are supposed to be horrific badasses trying to murder you. And that picture is not a Beholder.

Spoiler: THIS is a Beholder

This. It may be free, but damn if it's not the wrong way to approach this. The kids might be able to handle the "big bad truth" as this article [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/days-of-high-adventure/7153-The-Play-s-the-Thing] shows

 

[Dr. wonderful]

Ok so not only can I introduce my future kids into the dark ways of the old ones with this


But now I get to teach them D&D as well, yay their going to be completely messed up

Oh
My
God.

...That's it. I want a Warhammer 40K Orc as a child cartoon.

"What do Orc needs add to the chocolate cake for The boyz Birthday?"

"MOAR DAKKA! D:<"

But we already added enough-

*Squint eyes*

"NEVAR. ENUFF."

 

[The Random One]

...I want a plushie of the cute beholder.

 

[Iron Lightning]

Ok so not only can I introduce my future kids into the dark ways of the old ones with this


But now I get to teach them D&D as well, yay their going to be completely messed up

that was AMAZING!

"Their souls make his tummy happy." Lord George, you just made my fucking day, thank you.

 

[RvLeshrac]

How can <a href=http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/332/Inside-DD-4th-Edition>this not have made it into the article? Or at least the thread?

Srsly, folks.

 

[Xeros]

 

[GloatingSwine]

Beholders were always kinda cute, in an "awwww look at all it's little eyestalks" kinda way.

 

[otakucode]

If your kids can't handle the original D&D, then you are a bad parent, plain and simple. If there is something they're having trouble understanding, then TEACH THEM! If your kid is a simpering idiot, it's YOUR FAULT!

In 20 years, I won't be surprised when a Kid-Safe version of Monster Hunters is released because this generation is raising their own children and feel that the idea of abnormal anatomy is too scary for under-18s. Did you know that the early seasons of Sesame Street DVDs have warnings that they're "Not appropriate for children"? I wish I was joking. Somehow, evolution is working backwards with humans and children are apparently getting dumber and more intellectually frail by the day.

 

[elvor0]

THE BEHOLDER MUST DIE! That thing is far more evil that the original one. It has far too much cuteness. As in it will use it's cuteness to stop adventurers attacking it to it can eat their brains!

 

[Gigathrash]

And just like Beholder is turned into the lovable plush toy enemy of the series. See: Pikachu, and Slime.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

...I want a plushie of the cute beholder.

...me too.

IT MUST HAVE WOBBLY GOOGLY EYES.

EDIT: I also want one of these.

 

[The Random One]

In a completely unrelated note, I have a new avatar.

 

[Gaderael]

So how much does it cost? Jack. By jack, I mean nothing. Monster Slayers can be downloaded for free off of the Wizards of the Coast [http://www.wizards.com/DnD/Article.aspx?x=dnd/4dnd/monsterslayers] website. I have no kids for no woman shall willingly bear my fruit, but I know someone out there that enjoys a fine dungeon crawl must.

Via: Wired [http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2010/04/wizards-of-the-coast-publishes-dd-for-kids/]

Permalink

Like any drug dealer worth their salt, the first hit is always free.

"Hey kid, I got what you need right here motherfucka. Got prestige classes and epic levels. I know you be jonesin' for a hit!"

 

[edgeofblade]

I thought people got locked in the basement to PLAY D&D...

 

[MaxFan]

Ok so not only can I introduce my future kids into the dark ways of the old ones with this


But now I get to teach them D&D as well, yay their going to be completely messed up

Oh
My
God.

...That's it. I want a Warhammer 40K Orc as a child cartoon.

"What do Orc needs add to the chocolate cake for The boyz Birthday?"

"MOAR DAKKA! D:<"

But we already added enough-

*Squint eyes*

"NEVAR. ENUFF."

OrKs...
Nevar enuff Dakka. Ain't no such thing.

 

[The Seldom Seen Kid]

WHAT?!
D and D isn't already for kids?
My mind is blown.
(Har har, obvious joke at the expense of my fellow D&D escapists.)

 

[Formica Archonis]

And just like Beholder is turned into the lovable plush toy enemy of the series. See: Pikachu, and Slime.

Aww, now you got me thinking of Hissy [http://doom.wikia.com/wiki/Hissy].

 

[samsonguy920]

It's times like this that Wizards of the Coast impresses me. This is awesome. Whether kids can't handle the big bad truth or not, I find this a logical approach which will help the parents out even. D&D isn't just passed down by family, but is learned through friends and shops. Gamer parents would know just what to expose their kids to as far as the game, and I know the Beholder wouldn't be the first on the list. But this is a good idea when the kids don't have elders other than the long-haired glassed shopkeeper they get their Pokemon cards from.

Because, of course, kids can't really imagine anything that's as damn cool as a beholder. Grrrr.

And Beholders are tough for name level characters...how the drek is a kiddiwink gonna take out the Anti-Magic cone?

Anyway, they should use this one:

Mehhhh! Brrrbrbrbrbr.

You, sir, made my day. Even right down to the closing credits. Perfect.