I'm in your mind fuzz
- Sep 26, 2010
Praise the lord, I just got my internet backAmbi said:You have inspired me to pick up my sketchbook again. I used to be the creative type when I was little and people told me I was good at art, but then the standard lifted to involve planning processes and I got caught up so much in changing ideas that I left the actual art making process to the last minute. I don't know why, I might have been afraid of screwing everything up and not being able to meet the standard I set for myself, so I just handed in C- work just to maintain the idea that I could do better if I really tried. Or maybe I was just lazy, I don't know. In retrospection I think I could do the work easily but things looked so much different when I was under pressure.Vault101 said:Yeah you hit the nail perfectly on the head, I was just the same
In the end it was my own lazyness and bad habits that let me down as I should have at least done ok in my grades, and unlike the other kids I would NEVER label myself as stupid because I knew it wasnt true
I could say that going to a not so average school for the first two years (my hometown) didnt help while I was there I sort of got the attitude why bother? there are n consequences if I dont try
but Im not making excuses for myself, I think im gradually getting out of my bad habbits anyway, and highschool wasnt that bad in the long term (I think the bigest problem was getting rid of my hobby, my art ,which was the one thing defining me, anyway Ive started again and working on it, no matter what I do Ill always be drawing somthing)
They called you stupid? That's harsh. You don't seem stupid at all, although I do believe spell check would be of use, haha.
The school I went to was decent enough, apart from their pathetic disciplinary policies and religious indoctrination (grade 8: "EVILUTION IS A LIE!!!1" grade 12, last term: "Okay, now the state curriculum requires us to teach you about evolution properly...").
If that is the standard for being pathetic, right now I think I'm on the level of a stereotypical basement dweller, only my parents don't have a basement, and I'm not an obese man-child surrounded by empty pizza boxes strewn over D&D material (although it would be interesting if I actually had hobbies like that). At least you got into college (that's like uni, right?).InterAirplay said:This is why I'm so desperate to get out of here and to Glasgow where my friends have gone to. I have a spot at a college there lined up and have had a fair few figures telling me I have writing talent, so I'm charging ahead with a journalism idea. I think I can do it. I'm really just mad for LEAVING, I NEED to be in a city environment with my friends because I am SO scared that I'll miss it all, the parts of my life I want to be looking back on fondly when I start settling down. You know? I need to have those good times. I don't know what else I could do. Even if I don't get to continue my education, I'll just take up a job there and stay. Being away and with my friends would make all the difference right now.Ambi said:As for high school being the best years of my life, I hope they weren't, I don't want to spend my entire adult life looking back in rosy retrospection.
If that fails, I'll just move to Australia where my best friend went to and me and her can live together. That'll never happen, but I like having a loving close friend somewhere. Maks me feel like I'll always have SOMEONE. XD I'm pathetic.
I need to get off the internet (at least temporarily) in search of a real life because I always forget how good things are until I experience them again. My friend is going to Glasgow next year for her sister's wedding. I could tag along if I wanted. That made me sound like a creep (shit, I really do need to get off the internet). It likely won't happen anyway, it would be expensive and selfish and surely there is a more creative and profitable use for my money, although I would like to go away somewhere.
All I know is that I can't be indecisive forever, lest I be driven into the retail misery spoken of in threads in these parts. No, I'm not above retail work, retail work is easy, it's not that bad. No dammit, it is, I need some motivation to do something beyond that...
anyway No no one called me stupid, however I was what they called "Non-TEE" (basically you dont do the subjects that give you a mark to get into uni, which is the same as college) most of the girls doing those subjects didnt care about acedemic acheivment which made sense I just wasnt comfortable about labeling myself as "dumb" as some of the others were quite happy to say about themselfs, and there were even a few smart ones that had chosen that path for what ever reasons
anyway Australia is great, nice cities, the people are relitivley nice and its good if you like sun
Ive been working non-stop on a bloody picture for ageis now, not sure ill be that satisified with it in the end but Ive got to finish it