Best Zero Punctuation Quote

[TehIrishSoap]

"And he whistled for a baboon!"
"I'm sorry, my sons a bit special"
"You can replicate this at home by putting a spider and a wasp in a corner, playing some Slipknot in the background, and spraying green and red gummy bears all over the winner"

 

[C117]

"... you have to navigate a menu system appearently designed by a man with his head stuck in a filing cabinet."

 

[AlexLoxate]

"It just goes to show, never stick your dick in the pudding. It might still be good pudding and you can spend all afternoon explaining that but no one?s going to eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT."

 

[Floppertje]

"It just goes to show, never stick your dick in the pudding. It might still be good pudding and you can spend all afternoon explaining that but no one?s going to eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT."

this one's the best. there's a lot more good ones but i can't think of them from the top of my head. *starts watching them all again. for the fifth time*

 

[Lawnmooer]

"It's a gun that shoots shuikens and lightning, it could only be more awesome if it had tits and was on fire"

 

[Marter]

"But on the whole it's just not as good as tonguing another man's balls...I mean as it used to be...I'm not gay!"

 

[EmzOLV]

"Forgiveness, however, isn't a strong point of mine, so I'll just conclude by saying that Mercenaries 2 can eat a dick pavlova"

MY FAVE <3

 

[Neko Pounce]

On halo 3 review
" The difficulty cerve wavers up and down like the nickers of a indicisive whore"

 

[Habakkuk]

"This shit is bananas!"
"Stonking great tits!"
"Batshit Bonkers!"

 

[Sixcess]

"Fast forward to God of War 3 and Kratos is channelling Judge Death."

 

[AlexLoxate]

"It just goes to show, never stick your dick in the pudding. It might still be good pudding and you can spend all afternoon explaining that but no one?s going to eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT."

*starts watching them all again. for the fifth time*

Oh I've been there. It's amazing just how much one can watch ZP without finding it boring.

 

[JWW]

"FUCK fruit. Sitting around all smug on trees and in pies..."

 

[bossfight1]

"God knows what would happen if you spread Branston Pickle ONTO No More Heroes, possibily the universe would end. AND IT WOULD BE AWESOME."

 

[shotgun ko]

"Pants on head retarded"

 

[Random berk]

"You play as secret agent and reality defying wizard Rico Rodriguez..."

"pants-on-head retarded"

"In the wild west the size of the hat you wore reflected on how much of a man you are./ Ray and Thomas both wear very big hats and naturally eat danger and shit bullets. Poor Wee-um doesn't get a hat and so can only be expected to eat weetabix and shit healthily.

"If you have a day free, you can take a motorcycle for a scenic ride along the coastline. Then if you get bored you can ramp it off a peasants sloped hat, crash it into the roof of someones holiday cottage before parachuting off and re-enacting the columbine massacre on a government soldiers face. Why? Just Cause! 2!

edit: partly ninja'd.

These aren't word perfect but you get the point.

 

[Jharry5]

The whole of the ending to Halo Wars has my favourite rant ever (I can't remember it, however).

My favourite line is easily this one from the Braid review (I think it's in that one, anyway).
'That, Jonathan, is what we call a dick move'.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

"Who designed this difficulty curve, Jackson Polluck?"

 

[fix-the-spade]

Good God, ten post in and no one has said...

Ron fuck-mothering Pearlman!?!

 

[RabbidKuriboh]

"Yes I'd like to skip this level, then maybe I'd like to eat some french fancies and take a nice scented bath to clean my massive vagina! Now get out the fucking way this shit will not beat me!"

"Allow me to summarise my feelings for JRPGs EAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAEEEHHHH!!!"

 

[Navarone9942]

Red Steel 2
"It would be childish of me to dwell on how long it's taken for the Wii to start sucking less, which is why I'm going to do so. Three and half years round about Nintendo, thats decent speed for a fucking glassier!"

Fallout 3
long pause "Yeah, it's pretty good" roll credits

Just Cause 2
"Next week on "How to be a Video Game Journalist" digging out your higher brain functions with the end of a ballpoint pen"