So I saw the intro to borderlands, and was put off by how boring it was. So I decided to rewrite it! Tell me what you think, this took me about 5 minutes to do 
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Borderlands Intro Rewrite Adam Cohen
The first bit of the intro is quite the same. You are riding down a dusty desert turning local wildlife into road-kill. The driver is some sort of foreign guy who talks like Ramon and the main characters are introduced. Fine.
This is where it gets a bit different.
You drive up to the town, IT?S UNDER ATTACK. The ENTIRE Town is blasting away at an ENORMOUS monster that is literally going about destroying the entire fucking down to smithereens. Ogre like in shape, the whole thing was using some sort of spiked club to be the CRAP out of the surrounding buildings, peering inside them looking for loot. The only piece of clothing it was wearing was a MASSIVE fanny pack that seemed to hold an insane amount of loot. In the background, the song ?Automatic Thrill? by Gluecifer is playing on the bus.
?BOOOM? Massive explosions rain all over the place as INSANE weapons fire into the belly of the beast in the town?s desperate attempt to save itself. It?s chaos, you?re off the bus and given a GIANT rocket launcher and told to go to town with it. And so you do. BOOOOM BOOOOOOOOM. More explosions, tracer fires go off and everything has gone to shit. Waves of debris, metal, and smoke perpetuate the ground and fly past you just barely missing you as you pump ever more rockets into the monster. The blood spurting from the monster makes the ground slick and IT?S FLAMMABLE. The whole ground literally bursts into FLAMES making half of the strafing ground inhospitable.
Finally after many, many more rockets, explosions and random chunks of metal and people flying through the air, the monster dies, the flames extinguished, and everyone goes silent.
It?s not over yet.
Everyone in the town stares at the monster, and then screams! IT?S A FEEDING FENZY. Everyone RUNS toward the monster to loot it for whatever it has to offer. Over 200 NPC?s ATTACK the corpse and start ripping off all the equipment on it and everything else they can get their hands on. You?re told to do the same. Rushing into the crowd you fight your way to the monster and start ripping off all its equipment in the massive crowd pushing and shoving. It?s brutal and insane. And finally you?re able to rip something off for yourself. But as soon as you do you?re knocked unconscious by a significantly larger npc muscling his way towards the monster.
End sequence.
. Borderlands Intro Rewrite Adam Cohen
The first bit of the intro is quite the same. You are riding down a dusty desert turning local wildlife into road-kill. The driver is some sort of foreign guy who talks like Ramon and the main characters are introduced. Fine.
This is where it gets a bit different.
You drive up to the town, IT?S UNDER ATTACK. The ENTIRE Town is blasting away at an ENORMOUS monster that is literally going about destroying the entire fucking down to smithereens. Ogre like in shape, the whole thing was using some sort of spiked club to be the CRAP out of the surrounding buildings, peering inside them looking for loot. The only piece of clothing it was wearing was a MASSIVE fanny pack that seemed to hold an insane amount of loot. In the background, the song ?Automatic Thrill? by Gluecifer is playing on the bus.
?BOOOM? Massive explosions rain all over the place as INSANE weapons fire into the belly of the beast in the town?s desperate attempt to save itself. It?s chaos, you?re off the bus and given a GIANT rocket launcher and told to go to town with it. And so you do. BOOOOM BOOOOOOOOM. More explosions, tracer fires go off and everything has gone to shit. Waves of debris, metal, and smoke perpetuate the ground and fly past you just barely missing you as you pump ever more rockets into the monster. The blood spurting from the monster makes the ground slick and IT?S FLAMMABLE. The whole ground literally bursts into FLAMES making half of the strafing ground inhospitable.
Finally after many, many more rockets, explosions and random chunks of metal and people flying through the air, the monster dies, the flames extinguished, and everyone goes silent.
It?s not over yet.
Everyone in the town stares at the monster, and then screams! IT?S A FEEDING FENZY. Everyone RUNS toward the monster to loot it for whatever it has to offer. Over 200 NPC?s ATTACK the corpse and start ripping off all the equipment on it and everything else they can get their hands on. You?re told to do the same. Rushing into the crowd you fight your way to the monster and start ripping off all its equipment in the massive crowd pushing and shoving. It?s brutal and insane. And finally you?re able to rip something off for yourself. But as soon as you do you?re knocked unconscious by a significantly larger npc muscling his way towards the monster.
End sequence.
