Borderlands Tannis quotes

[Xanadu84]

A few games just seem to be chalk full of absolutely incredible quotes. Portal and Madworld come to mind. Playing through Borderlands, I distinctly remember that absolutely everything that Patricia Tannis said was comedy gold. Problem is that thinking back, I can't remember specific examples, and I can find no proper collection of her wit. So what are your favorite Tannis quotes, or even just all the good ones you can remember?

Personally, I remember something about her ranting on how Music is a waste of time, and how someone kicked her dog and stole an artifact, and that it is the vault key...the artifact, not the dog. Also, when you find out that she sent you to kill someone who didn't have what you were looking for, but was actually helping out a third party, she explains herself by saying, "It sounded like something you would enjoy doing anyways"

 

[DetectiveSparky]

My favourite (most of them are from the journals) was when she was talking about a random bandit that came after her and she gave him a backstory of why he was a troubled person, mostly stemming from the name he had to grow up with (which she also made up).

Her getting rid of her ECHO device because it was clearly insane and she can't trust it anymore...

 

[pha kin su pah]

I espcially liked the quote, were she was camping and a raider, came to her camp, she ended up feeling guilty for killing him, so she gives him a name, pretended he had childhood abuse issues, and explained that his was a homosexual.

 

[SpaceGhostPoncherello]

The way you hear her turn from, well, somewhat normal to batshit insane is kinda disturbing.
The line about her dog made me laugh though.

Spoiler

"After he left he took the artifact and punched my dog, which was part of the key. The artifact was part of the key, not my dog... "

 

[Blackadder51]

I espcially liked the quote, were she was camping and a raider, came to her camp, she ended up feeling guilty for killing him, so she gives him a name, pretended he had childhood abuse issues, and explained that his was a homosexual.

Well yeh that, oh and how Crazy Earl has her

Underpants

 

[latenightapplepie]

She was one of the very few characters with any real personality. Helena Pierce and Scooter ("Thanks for fixing the catch-a-ride station. That thing was more messed up than my momma's girl parts. Thanks for taking a poke at that. The catch-a-ride station, not my mom") were getting there, but mostly there was a disappointing lack of interesting characters.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and TK. Although...

Spoiler

He gets killed off. Anyone who happens to know why, feel free to PM me, because his death just seemed oddly out of place. As though there was going to be a follow-up quest to avenge him. Maybe some DLC will tie up this particular loose end...

 

[Avatar Roku]

She was one of the very few characters with any real personality. Helena Pierce and Scooter ("Thanks for fixing the catch-a-ride station. That thing was more messed up than my momma's girl parts. Thanks for taking a poke at that. The catch-a-ride station, not my mom") were getting there, but mostly there was a disappointing lack of interesting characters.

I'm tempted to correct that quote, but you got it mostly right so I won't. Also, TK Baha, may have also been getting there.

 

[Srkkl]

The one about the fat chick, fallicia I think it was, how the skags ate her and Tannis said "They won't be hungry for weeks". that one was funny.

 

[whycantibelinus]

I thought it was hilarious when she was talking about how Helena Pierce wouldn't give you clearance to go to the salt flats so she stole her prosthetic arm until she granted you clearance.

 

[grimsprice]

Yes. Tannis is the only other "character" in that bloody story. Nobody else has any depth or intriguing existence. I can't stand stories without characters. Biggest disappointment in the game.

 

[Space Spoons]

Tannis had some great lines, that's for sure. My favorite lines of hers are at both ends of the spectrum, before and after she lost her mind:
"If I believed in hell I would contemplate how it compared to Pandora. Ironically such a belief would align me with these Neanderthals."

"After he left he took the artifact and punched my dog, which was part of the key. The artifact was part of the key, not my dog."

Good stuff.

Also, I just gotta throw this out there: I think Scooter got some excellent lines, too.
"I should tell ya, I wouldn't trust Tannis with any one of my vehicles... what with all that science and... her boyish haircut."

"Thanks for fixing the Catch-a-Ride station. That thing was more messed up than my momma's girl parts. Thanks for taking a poke at that. The Catch-a-Ride station, not my mom."

"Hey, Scooter says don't walk, drive! My daddy always said wheels were better than heels. Uh, he was paralyzed, though. Anyway, don't walk, drive!"