the escapist decided that it was time to get the hell out of there so the escapist hop'd on it's dragon
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And spoke of the great shroom prophecy which told ordered im to run down more grannies with his white dragon to appease the gods of golden coins otherwise he wouldn't be able to get to the final boss level.
As the Escapist flew down the isles of his local supermarket taking out grannies with french baguettes and headshotting them with those weird guns that fire discs he suddenly decided he fancied some cereals....
'Should I get coco pops or shreddies,' he thought 'I had coco pops this morning but I feel that their approach to marketing is much more ethical and in fact I think they taste better than shreddies.' It was then that he saw that shreddies were being sold at half price!
SO he flew with his dragon to the nearest Wal-Mart and promptly ripped the roof off the place. He then ran inside and found a box of cereal. He opened it and ate most of the box in a few gulps. After that he jumped back on his dragon and set off, but the airforce had been called out to take care of the problem...
Suddenly 4 stars popped up in the right corner of his eye (Yes just like off GTA). He sat there on his dragon wondering how he could get 5*s.
But alas, the store had run out of the escapists favourite cereal (Moderated Trolls - Now with flame war figurines!) While browsing the rest of the aisle and trying to decide between the offcial High School Musical cereal and Frosties, he caught the eye of an attractive young lady wrestling with the same dilemma.
(Do not turn this blue!)
(Do not turn this blue!)
He suddenly realised how to get to 5 stars! He dived over to the home improvement isle, picked up a huge tin of blue paint and covered the poor woman in it and proclaimed this thread officially blue! (sky blue to be exact)
The woman reminded the Escapist of a Smurf, so he raced over to the hat isle and returned with a white hat and threw it at the blue lady.
Suddenly all the stars in his vision shattered into bits and turned into a mega-star! A convenient pop-up box informed him that the mega-star is worth 50 regulars and anyone who gets it is now on the run from Robots in Pimpmobiles, Laser Cats, and Elephants on Unicycles as well as the cops. Escapist wisely decided to get the fuck out of Dodge and ran over to his dragon to fly it away.
For such a chunky beast his dragon somehow managed to swerve round pokemon being launched at him by daedric warriors and....
The adjacent guy just happened to be one of those idiots who has to make jokes about your mom and having sex with her, he didn't take it too well and threatened to set his big brother on the Escapist. The Escapist merely laughed and head shotted him with a potato gun he found behind his dragons left ear.
[This is keeping me too entertained]
[This is keeping me too entertained]
Surprise, the other two thirds of samuel jackson pops out from behind the corpse of his other 1/3