California Lab Unveils World's Strongest Laser

[Earnest Cavalli]

California Lab Unveils World's Strongest Laser

California's Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory unveiled its latest creation last Friday, a high-powered laser array dubbed the "National Ignition Facility."

The array, which boasts 192 separate laser beams and takes up an entire football field of space, can be focused on a single point no bigger than the size of a pencil eraser, making the NIF the world's strongest laser beam.

Though you can almost hear warhawks cackling ominously with thoughts of destroying Alderaan, officials say it will be used [http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/05/31/state/n122519D80.DTL&feed=rss.technology] for "a multifaceted assignment that will include ensuring that aging nuclear weapons are still functioning properly without resorting to underground testing."

Additionally, plans are underway to use the array in "the study of astrophysics and experiments in developing green energy programs."

Realistically though, I think we all know where this is heading: Val Kilmer, a house full of popcorn, and hilarious 1980s hijinks [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2rtmoSuoL4].

(Image [http://www.flickr.com/photos/gnarayan/2280260584/])

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[Doug]

I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

 

[Lopunny]

I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

Damn you to the farthest depths of Hades XD I was gonna say that

 

[7moreDead_v1legacy]

I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

Damn you to the farthest depths of Hades XD I was gonna say that

Why do so many people steal my thoughts!

 

[stormcaller]

We have lasers and were using them to study things!?

Bullshit, lets blow up Mercury for shits and giggles.

 

[TheBarefootBandit]

We have lasers and were using them to study things!?

Bullshit, lets blow up Mercury for shits and giggles.

It's always about the giggles.

 

[InProgress]

Bullshit, lets blow up Mercury for shits and giggles.

I'm with this guy.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

We could trim the Sun into a smaller size. Fuck you, global warming.

 

[Tiamat666]

I hope they watch out where they aim this thing. Wouldn't want to start an interstellar war because we accidentally burned a hole into the foreheads of some alien overlords.

 

[cobrausn]

I hope they watch out where they aim this thing. Wouldn't want to start an interstellar war because we accidentally burned a hole into the foreheads of some alien overlords.

They probably deserve it.

Probably.

 

[CosmicGrenade]

I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' NIF attached to their heads!

 

[dalek sec]

God we must abuse the hell out of this thing...

Still, very cool and hopefully they can put it to great use.

 

[uppitycracker]

all i had to do was read the title, and my first thought was REAL GENIUS!!!

 

[The Shade]

Well, I always knew one day I would be a Bond villain. I now I know how I'm going to do it.

 

[antipunt]

CAPTAIN

sswWOOORRDDo! D=<

 

[God's Clown]

I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

You can put your name on the Moon, but I'll put mine on Mars.

 

[Deathsong17]

"a multifaceted assignment that will include ensuring that aging nuclear weapons are still functioning properly without resorting to underground testing."

Additionally, plans are underway to use the array in "the study of astrophysics and experiments in developing green energy programs."

Rather odd combination.

 

[Lopunny]

I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

Damn you to the farthest depths of Hades XD I was gonna say that

Why do so many people steal my thoughts!

well, we'll just have to see whose crack team of ninja's commandeers it first, wont we? *glares at you*