- May 27, 2011
I don't care for traditions, so I treat days like Valentines like any other day of the week...
Sorry I couldn't reply sooner but I was in QLD with her and three other girls. All of which are my friends. I don't think you're trying to insult me, I suspect the advice of the others who just call you a troll is true. Because seriously, you must be so out of it. I've explained why I want to remain in a relationship with her. Having a relationship is healthy, not having one is healthy. People can do what they like as long as they are happy.The Cool Kid said:Your the exact kind of person I'm talking about who should be alone to find their independence. There are two ways you'll take my reply. Either you will think I'm just trying to insult you or maybe, and hopefully you will see the truth in what I have to say.
Why do you need to be in a relationship with her? Why can't you just be friends? Why do you feel such an emotional pull at such a young age? Do you think that is healthy?
Saying it won't matter how she looks is just bullshit. There are natural trends in what is and is not considered attractive. I doubt you are an exception to these rules of nature or have somehow overcome millions of years of evolution & mastered the subconscious.
The fact you are willing to overlook your natural urges tells me that it is because you are emotionally needy, and therefore willing to settle for less instead of waiting out, only because you cannot cope without the emotional attachment a relationship brings. I do think some people are beautiful, but I'm not blinded by emotional neediness to ignore flaws.
Breakups do not always have a mutual understanding. They rarely do.
Relationships are great when you are in them for the right reason which is that person is not necessary, but does make your life better. You have not nailed the first point because you need her to be your gf, and certainly not nailed the second point because your emotional neediness will blind you to what you do actually need to make your life better as you are using a relationship to most likely avoid becoming emotionally independent.
If you think you can learn a lot in a less then a month, you must know some incredibly shallow people, or be ignorant of how much people hide from extremely new friends. You're not going to learn about potentially disastrous character traits in less then a month.
I'm being realistic. In a week or two someone isn't going to tell me about how casual they are with the other gender, how they view fidelity, morality, politics and so on. As I said, if you can know all this within a week of meeting someone, they must be as deep as a puddle. Also you do not cater for how people change. People change quickly when they are young so who may seem good may be quite different in a year, so why have invested so much energy into a pointless relationship?
Don't you have friends you can get drunk with...?
Seriously. I have the best friends. The most honest friends. These people are not shallow, they are extremely complicated, and I'm still learning new things about them every day. But you can tell if you like someone extremely quickly.One thing though that happened yesterday makes me feel really happy and contented to think about and reminds me why I love my friends so much, and I can't explain it in it's original form but can only put it into my own words; we were walking around and I was talking about how I don't take compliments well, more often as a deficiency of the other person's judgement, a rose-coloured glasses effect, and my friend/old best friend's boyfriend pointed out that considering I have at least three people looking for affection from me I should realise that I am someone who is good and wanted and pleasant and all those positive things. People rarely say that sort of thing to me short of it being [snip] and [snip] (who, as I say, I put into the rose-coloured glasses category), and coming from certain people like that it really sneaks its way into me. I don't know, it was just a really pleasant way for the trip to end; I hope (and like to think that) life will continually more pleasant than it has been from now on.Yesterday was my last day in Surfer's Paradise (in Queensland, Australia, for those that don't know) and it was the first day that I think I really just enjoyed myself on the trip and started to feel sad that I was going to leave. We had to check out of the apartment by 10am so we woke up early and cleaned and drank the last of all the beer/cider, walked to the beach for one last swim, bought ice cream, waltzed to the sound of a piano accordion being played by a lovely old European woman on the street, I bought a book, waded through the water one last time at sunset, and took a plane home finally at 8:30 pm.
You say I'm incapable of not being in a relationship, so I should skip out on all the benefits because my relationship is ultimately pointless.The Cool Kid said:So because my advice differs from your thoughts I'm a troll?
Well, I was going to write a well thought out bit of advice for you, but y'know what? I won't waste my words on someone who is too blind to see past his own nose.