- Nov 20, 2008
OK, but we're not talking about people getting emotional here, we're talking about a specific pattern of behavior, where guys get close to women, develop a bond of trust with them, then abandon them and complain about what bitches they are once it becomes clear they aren't going to be romantically involved.Lyri said:Had to edit my sloppy, sloppy tags and I also realised I had no actual post outside of the quote, so this is just filler text.cobra_ky said:It is OK to be heartbroken. It is OK to feel bad when you get turned down. It is not OK to blame the person who turned you down, because you aren't entitled to a romantic relationship with them.
I didn't say it was ok, I just said that people get crazy & emotional when heartbroken & rejected. Shit happens basically.
No, it certainly isn't male-exclusive, but it's predominantly men who complain about things like that and invent concepts like the "friendzone" to describe it.
Women eat icecream and cry to chick flicks, apparently. Of course they complain about it, just not with the same name but the rose is just as sweet.
If you make friends with anyone based solely on physical attraction to them, then you're a terrible friend.
How do you think you try and pull on nights out? Sorry but if you think that then you're pretty sheltered. I know women because of finding them attractive on nights out, couple of them I have a tonne in common with. There's nothing wrong with it, if you're sole intention is to just fuck someone and be done with it THEN you're a shitty friend.
This only happens when you invest your entire emotional well-being in a romantic relationship with a person. Don't take rejection so personally; people generally only find themselves attracted to a tiny subset of the general population, so don't be surprised if you happen not to fall into that category for a particular person. Women aren't aren't a puzzle to be solved; there's no "optimal strategy" that's going to bag you any girl you want. Through no fault of your own, you simply have absolutely no shot with the vast majority of women in the world, so try not to let it get you down so much when one of them turns you down.
Of course people emotionally invest themselves towards other people, it would be terrible of you not to do that if you were looking for a romantic relationship with someone. I wouldn't even consider dating my fiance if she wasn't at least a little emotionally invested when we met.
Some people handle rejection well & others get pretty stung by it, a friend of mine is one of those guys who doesn't meet a whole lot of women as he has a very "guy like" social life and he works a tonne.
He gets hit really, really hard by rejection and emotionally invests himself way too hard way to early, sometimes it's a fault but sometimes it's right. It depends on the people involved.
Yes, you absolutely should be "at least a little emotionally invested" (but that's also true of friendships, too) but no matter how much rejection hurts, nothing really gives you the right to take it out on others.