I see what you did there.Simeon Ivanov said:Guys are starting to sound like women
Only pretending to have been joking in 3...2...
I see what you did there.Simeon Ivanov said:Guys are starting to sound like women
- 1st point.tobyornottoby said:Not necessarily bad decisions if one decision leads to both the higher ups and lower downs. It becomes a choice then, depending on your preferences which you're more inclined towards.
Yeah that's true, one of the difficulties in this discussion is differentiating between nice guys and "Nice Guys".
At it's core, it goes back to wanting someone who's strong and dominant to have kids with and someone who's reliable to settle down with.
Except for the fact that this is a myth.Matthew94 said:I'm pretty sure it's not just a myth.Allthingsspectacular said:This is small potatoes compared to the "Girls like jerks" myth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_triad
http://www.whatswrongwiththeworld.net/2008/06/the_dark_triad.html
There is evidence behind it.
Personal experience mostly.Matthew94 said:Do you have anything to back that up? You cannot just dismiss it out of hand with the only reason being "it's a myth".
Well, I just find it incredibly difficult to believe knowing the women I known over the years.Matthew94 said:Though personal experience is valid evidence to the contrary I do not think it is sufficient to dismiss the "Dark Triad" that has been observed out of hand.
Why not?blackrave said:It's not worth it even if you pursue her happinesstobyornottoby said:If you're only doing it to pursue a relationship then yeah, no.blackrave said:Eventually I realized that she simply seeks someone to dump her emotions on
That's why status of "The Nice Guy" isn't worth it
- Look at how movies or rollercoasters or a lot of other things are being made. The tempo varies wildly. There are slower parts, then there are adrenalin-spikes, etc. Most people prefer a non-continuous state.Jimbo1212 said:- 1st point.tobyornottoby said:Not necessarily bad decisions if one decision leads to both the higher ups and lower downs. It becomes a choice then, depending on your preferences which you're more inclined towards.
Yeah that's true, one of the difficulties in this discussion is differentiating between nice guys and "Nice Guys".
At it's core, it goes back to wanting someone who's strong and dominant to have kids with and someone who's reliable to settle down with.
So you are saying that the "bad" decisions would lead to a more volatile state of being very happy but also very sad at other times? Surely they would cancel each other out and going for a continuous state of happy would be best? Also, from experiences I have found that people are only very happy with these decisions when a large amount of denial comes into play eg. I am going to pretend my bf is Mr Right when he is simply a douche. Thus it is the illusion that makes the person very happy. If the person thinks that is fine, then why not go shoot up on meth all the time as that would make you "happy" and is about as real as that relationship?
- 3rd point.
Surely though it would be best to go for someone who is both strong, dominant, AND reliable? It seems like girls who think like that are simply settling or are impatient and just need someone thus make the best out of a bad selection of guys.
- I have to disagree here. You are claiming that people should stab themselves or self harm, only so that they are more grateful for when they are not hurting themselves. Why not just avoid the pain in the beginning?tobyornottoby said:- Look at how movies or rollercoasters or a lot of other things are being made. The tempo varies wildly. There are slower parts, then there are adrenalin-spikes, etc. Most people prefer a non-continuous state.Jimbo1212 said:- 1st point.tobyornottoby said:Not necessarily bad decisions if one decision leads to both the higher ups and lower downs. It becomes a choice then, depending on your preferences which you're more inclined towards.
Yeah that's true, one of the difficulties in this discussion is differentiating between nice guys and "Nice Guys".
At it's core, it goes back to wanting someone who's strong and dominant to have kids with and someone who's reliable to settle down with.
So you are saying that the "bad" decisions would lead to a more volatile state of being very happy but also very sad at other times? Surely they would cancel each other out and going for a continuous state of happy would be best? Also, from experiences I have found that people are only very happy with these decisions when a large amount of denial comes into play eg. I am going to pretend my bf is Mr Right when he is simply a douche. Thus it is the illusion that makes the person very happy. If the person thinks that is fine, then why not go shoot up on meth all the time as that would make you "happy" and is about as real as that relationship?
- 3rd point.
Surely though it would be best to go for someone who is both strong, dominant, AND reliable? It seems like girls who think like that are simply settling or are impatient and just need someone thus make the best out of a bad selection of guys.
Another way to look at it is that experiment where you put your 1 hand in a cold glass of water, and your other hand in a warm glass of water. Then after a while, you put your hands in a 3rd and a 4th glass, which are both lukewarm. The hand coming from the cold will tell your body that water is warmer than the other hand though.
Everything is relative. The only way we can measure and judge things is by comparison. Perhaps this is why people do not prefer the continuous state?
- Yes you are right which is why those girls will spout the "I just wish I'd find a nice guy". They want that 'bad boy' type they're attracted to to be more reliable. Of course it works the other way around, but a lot of nice guys simple aren't that dominant.
Mortai Gravesend said:I don't remember seeing threads complaining about men not being sympathetic if their relationships are bad.Jzolr0708 said:but on the other hand, men dont owe women any sympathy for when they make relationship choices that are clearly stupid.
Im more referring to the idea of the women who want a friend when they're in a relationship and something more when out of one. In addition, I personally don't believe you should discuss past relationships with anyone who isn't currently with you. What happened between the two of you is personal, and unless you are traumtatically effected (IE: Losing a spouse/fiance, or a partner of years), it isnt anyone elses buisinesstobyornottoby said:Indeed. BUT if you really are her friend and a nice guy you give her that. Otherwise you're just a "Nice Guy".Jzolr0708 said:Women dont owe men relationships at all, but on the other hand, men dont owe women any sympathy for when they make relationship choices that are clearly stupid.
I'd have to disagree. Being sociable and putting yourself in social situations is the most important.Allthingsspectacular said:There are other factors involved. Confidence is the biggest one.
First impressions only hold true for the time being, if you have something to excite them with later on there are no limits.Allthingsspectacular said:The thing about girls is that first impressions are everything. And if a girl knows you too well before you're in a relationship, your chances are significantly decreased.
This is small time happiness, like feeding your kid ice cream instead of setting up his/her college fund :/tobyornottoby said:Why not?blackrave said:It's not worth it even if you pursue her happiness
As I said, women want their friends as emotion-dumpsters, not as problem-solvers. That's how they relieve stress. It's a positive thing.
Ice cream is important too. I don't want to be the kid who -never- got ice cream.blackrave said:This is small time happiness, like feeding your kid ice cream instead of setting up his/her college fund :/tobyornottoby said:Why not?blackrave said:It's not worth it even if you pursue her happiness
As I said, women want their friends as emotion-dumpsters, not as problem-solvers. That's how they relieve stress. It's a positive thing.
- Actually the part car-ride, part rollercoaster day itself shows how people like variance. I don't think many would sign up for either a 24 hour rollercoaster ride or 24 hour car ride.Jimbo1212 said:- I have to disagree here. You are claiming that people should stab themselves or self harm, only so that they are more grateful for when they are not hurting themselves. Why not just avoid the pain in the beginning?tobyornottoby said:- Look at how movies or rollercoasters or a lot of other things are being made. The tempo varies wildly. There are slower parts, then there are adrenalin-spikes, etc. Most people prefer a non-continuous state.Jimbo1212 said:- 1st point.tobyornottoby said:Not necessarily bad decisions if one decision leads to both the higher ups and lower downs. It becomes a choice then, depending on your preferences which you're more inclined towards.
Yeah that's true, one of the difficulties in this discussion is differentiating between nice guys and "Nice Guys".
At it's core, it goes back to wanting someone who's strong and dominant to have kids with and someone who's reliable to settle down with.
So you are saying that the "bad" decisions would lead to a more volatile state of being very happy but also very sad at other times? Surely they would cancel each other out and going for a continuous state of happy would be best? Also, from experiences I have found that people are only very happy with these decisions when a large amount of denial comes into play eg. I am going to pretend my bf is Mr Right when he is simply a douche. Thus it is the illusion that makes the person very happy. If the person thinks that is fine, then why not go shoot up on meth all the time as that would make you "happy" and is about as real as that relationship?
- 3rd point.
Surely though it would be best to go for someone who is both strong, dominant, AND reliable? It seems like girls who think like that are simply settling or are impatient and just need someone thus make the best out of a bad selection of guys.
Another way to look at it is that experiment where you put your 1 hand in a cold glass of water, and your other hand in a warm glass of water. Then after a while, you put your hands in a 3rd and a 4th glass, which are both lukewarm. The hand coming from the cold will tell your body that water is warmer than the other hand though.
Everything is relative. The only way we can measure and judge things is by comparison. Perhaps this is why people do not prefer the continuous state?
- Yes you are right which is why those girls will spout the "I just wish I'd find a nice guy". They want that 'bad boy' type they're attracted to to be more reliable. Of course it works the other way around, but a lot of nice guys simple aren't that dominant.
Also, people only spend a bit of time on a roller-coaster. On the trip to the theme-park they would have travelled in a car which tries to have the smoothest ride possible.
- But by going for the bad guy, you are settling as you would prefer a guy to be a man and reliable?
Women love to talk. They'll talk about a whole lot of things you might see as "nobody else's business"Jzolr0708 said:Im more referring to the idea of the women who want a friend when they're in a relationship and something more when out of one. In addition, I personally don't believe you should discuss past relationships with anyone who isn't currently with you. What happened between the two of you is personal, and unless you are traumtatically effected (IE: Losing a spouse/fiance, or a partner of years), it isnt anyone elses buisiness
I rather you earn that ice-cream. If not, NO ICE-CREAM FOR YOU!!!!!tobyornottoby said:Ice cream is important too. I don't want to be the kid who -never- got ice cream.blackrave said:This is small time happiness, like feeding your kid ice cream instead of setting up his/her college fund :/tobyornottoby said:Why not?blackrave said:It's not worth it even if you pursue her happiness
As I said, women want their friends as emotion-dumpsters, not as problem-solvers. That's how they relieve stress. It's a positive thing.