Can you think of something from Primary Schooling that stuck with you until Today?

Dreiko_v1legacy

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ObsidianJones said:
Dreiko said:
Ok so, this thing you're talking about isn't fear, it's irrational phobic behavior that's actually the person being afraid being absurd. A form of mental illness basically. It's akin to someone freaking out to the point of crying or having heart palpitations when a spider gets on them (hell, I remember people saying they couldn't play skyrim cause it had spider enemies at some point lol, arachnophobia is real but clearly the digital spider won't harm you in the real world). It's not the normal, average reaction one has when that happens.

I'm not saying there's not some psychologically damaged women out there who'd fear you. I'm just saying that that's highly abnormal and not something you need to take for granted as you go about your life.


Trying to paint a picture where everyone shares your mental issues in order to make whatever troubles you into a group-based issue and not just your personal circumstances that lead you to be this way is not rational either.
You tend to look at my experiences that you freely admit you've never truly experienced yourself, but try to convince me that my history is somehow wrong or that I took the wrong lesson from this.

I think you're doing this out of kindness, and I can appreciate that. But you have to understand as I just picked a minute fraction of similar feelings here on the internet, and as others on this very forum have expressed similar experiences (one in this very thread)... do you think it's about time you might do some self reflection and understand that you might not have the same similar experiences of people in your living complex, or your neighborhood, or your town or city, your county, your state, and your country? What's "abnormal" for you and yours is other people's 24/7.

And to constantly judge other people's realities to your own short changes everyone, especially yourself.

You're just giving me anecdotes that go against common sense. You can cherrypick people who have issues or ideas everywhere and most people who don't have issues don't write articles or do research about the issues they're not having. Again, I'm not saying there's not some people who'd fear anyone for any reason, including being tall and muscular (in my case I have those traits and also epic metal hair and a very very foreign sounding name haha), I'm just saying that that's really not the default situation and in 99% of cases people are just easygoing and having a good time living life without issue.

If you don't go into a situation predetermined to find how it causes issues, you will find that most situations have no issues to begin with. This is kinda why the notion of microaggressions (this is kind of a tangent but it came to me so I'm going with it haha) is poisonous, because it turns innocuous behavior into maybe-microaggression, where people begin to doubt themselves and whether or not they were being mean in some insane twisted interpretation of their behavior that could still be technically plausible given the infinity of experience.

Just because you can't 100% rule out something doesn't mean that it has a noteworthy chance of actually occurring.
 
Sep 24, 2008
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Dreiko said:
You're just giving me anecdotes that go against common sense. You can cherrypick people who have issues or ideas everywhere and most people who don't have issues don't write articles or do research about the issues they're not having. Again, I'm not saying there's not some people who'd fear anyone for any reason, including being tall and muscular (in my case I have those traits and also epic metal hair and a very very foreign sounding name haha), I'm just saying that that's really not the default situation and in 99% of cases people are just easygoing and having a good time living life without issue.

If you don't go into a situation predetermined to find how it causes issues, you will find that most situations have no issues to begin with. This is kinda why the notion of microaggressions (this is kind of a tangent but it came to me so I'm going with it haha) is poisonous, because it turns innocuous behavior into maybe-microaggression, where people begin to doubt themselves and whether or not they were being mean in some insane twisted interpretation of their behavior that could still be technically plausible given the infinity of experience.

Just because you can't 100% rule out something doesn't mean that it has a noteworthy chance of actually occurring.
The problem is, which you'll probably explain off, is that it happens to me frequently. As I said.

The shocked look when I enter the Elevator. The unique focus an officer gives me when I enter a 7-11 or when he or she enters it. The panicked stop when it's late at night and a woman sees that I'm the only other person on the side walk, so I give her wide berth to let her know that I'm not interested in her. The silence that two chatty girls adopt when they notice me. These happen. I lived them. I do not have anything to gain to make up a story of which I would get internet sympathy. I'm recounting my life. And that isn't up for debate.

Seriously, why are you so obsessed in critiquing my life experiences if you a.) don't believe my 'anecdotes' or b.) consider the words of others 'cherry picking'? You can easily just shrug and not engage me. I don't believe either of us come off looking that good in each other's eyes. Why continue then? Nothing you say will cause me to look over the cops stopping me, the nervous clutching of purses, the attempts of locking doors when I'm noticed (even when the doors are already locked). And nothing I'll say will make you view them all as coincidences that I'm reading too much into.

These interactions are wasted. You are not the arbiter of plausible life experiences. No one is. All anyone can do is relate what has happened to them. These things don't happen to you. I'm very happy that's the case. However, I do not judge what your life experiences are. And you are simply not in the position to judge mine or to rate what has actually happened to me as One-offs. Because they are not.

Say your piece, but I've said everything I'm going to say on this matter.
 

Dreiko_v1legacy

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ObsidianJones said:
Dreiko said:
You're just giving me anecdotes that go against common sense. You can cherrypick people who have issues or ideas everywhere and most people who don't have issues don't write articles or do research about the issues they're not having. Again, I'm not saying there's not some people who'd fear anyone for any reason, including being tall and muscular (in my case I have those traits and also epic metal hair and a very very foreign sounding name haha), I'm just saying that that's really not the default situation and in 99% of cases people are just easygoing and having a good time living life without issue.

If you don't go into a situation predetermined to find how it causes issues, you will find that most situations have no issues to begin with. This is kinda why the notion of microaggressions (this is kind of a tangent but it came to me so I'm going with it haha) is poisonous, because it turns innocuous behavior into maybe-microaggression, where people begin to doubt themselves and whether or not they were being mean in some insane twisted interpretation of their behavior that could still be technically plausible given the infinity of experience.

Just because you can't 100% rule out something doesn't mean that it has a noteworthy chance of actually occurring.
The problem is, which you'll probably explain off, is that it happens to me frequently. As I said.

The shocked look when I enter the Elevator. The unique focus an officer gives me when I enter a 7-11 or when he or she enters it. The panicked stop when it's late at night and a woman sees that I'm the only other person on the side walk, so I give her wide berth to let her know that I'm not interested in her. The silence that two chatty girls adopt when they notice me. These happen. I lived them. I do not have anything to gain to make up a story of which I would get internet sympathy. I'm recounting my life. And that isn't up for debate.

Seriously, why are you so obsessed in critiquing my life experiences if you a.) don't believe my 'anecdotes' or b.) consider the words of others 'cherry picking'? You can easily just shrug and not engage me. I don't believe either of us come off looking that good in each other's eyes. Why continue then? Nothing you say will cause me to look over the cops stopping me, the nervous clutching of purses, the attempts of locking doors when I'm noticed (even when the doors are already locked). And nothing I'll say will make you view them all as coincidences that I'm reading too much into.

These interactions are wasted. You are not the arbiter of plausible life experiences. No one is. All anyone can do is relate what has happened to them. These things don't happen to you. I'm very happy that's the case. However, I do not judge what your life experiences are. And you are simply not in the position to judge mine or to rate what has actually happened to me as One-offs. Because they are not.

Say your piece, but I've said everything I'm going to say on this matter.

See, my point isn't that these things don't happen to you, or hell, even to me for that matter.

My point is that since I don't go LOOKING for people's discomfort and just mind my business, there's never any situation where I'm feeling like I need to mind how people are clutching their purse or silencing their conversation (if they in fact are doing these things, I definitely don't recall such an event haha).

But yeah, even if I were to notice such behavior, I think the rational act there is to think "wow, such weirdos, what's up with them", not "man, I'm terrifying, I'll have to reduce my natural way of existing for the sake of random people's comfort".

People being afraid of you is THEIR problem if you're not doing anything wrong. Not your problem. In making it your problem you're throwing under the bus everyone who is in your shoes (loosely speaking) but doesn't act in this very tepid way when in these situations, as though they're somehow inconsiderate and less empathetic, when in fact you're the one who is being neurotic and over-attentive.
 

Saint of M

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@ObsidianJones: I don't think we can compare and do eachother justice. We have struggles that might drive one person insane is another person's normal. You are afraid of women, I am afraid of needles, and my mom is afraid of snakes. Its life.
 

stroopwafel

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ObsidianJones said:
The shocked look when I enter the Elevator. The unique focus an officer gives me when I enter a 7-11 or when he or she enters it. The panicked stop when it's late at night and a woman sees that I'm the only other person on the side walk, so I give her wide berth to let her know that I'm not interested in her. The silence that two chatty girls adopt when they notice me. These happen. I lived them. I do not have anything to gain to make up a story of which I would get internet sympathy. I'm recounting my life. And that isn't up for debate.
That's not really normal tbh. Maybe you unconsciously give off a weird/creepy vibe or have threatening body language or whatever? Worth asking someone you trust. Could be you are so pre-occuppied with what others think that you start to behave in ways that attract exactly the kind of negative attention you don't want. Happens often. Primarily by being stuck in past hang-ups or reliving trauma.
 

Dreiko_v1legacy

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stroopwafel said:
ObsidianJones said:
The shocked look when I enter the Elevator. The unique focus an officer gives me when I enter a 7-11 or when he or she enters it. The panicked stop when it's late at night and a woman sees that I'm the only other person on the side walk, so I give her wide berth to let her know that I'm not interested in her. The silence that two chatty girls adopt when they notice me. These happen. I lived them. I do not have anything to gain to make up a story of which I would get internet sympathy. I'm recounting my life. And that isn't up for debate.
That's not really normal tbh. Maybe you unconsciously give off a weird/creepy vibe or have threatening body language or whatever? Worth asking someone you trust. Could be you are so pre-occuppied with what others think that you start to behave in ways that attract exactly the kind of negative attention you don't want. Happens often. Primarily by being stuck in past hang-ups or reliving trauma.
This is basically exactly what I said a couple posts up too lol.
 
Sep 24, 2008
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stroopwafel said:
ObsidianJones said:
The shocked look when I enter the Elevator. The unique focus an officer gives me when I enter a 7-11 or when he or she enters it. The panicked stop when it's late at night and a woman sees that I'm the only other person on the side walk, so I give her wide berth to let her know that I'm not interested in her. The silence that two chatty girls adopt when they notice me. These happen. I lived them. I do not have anything to gain to make up a story of which I would get internet sympathy. I'm recounting my life. And that isn't up for debate.
That's not really normal tbh. Maybe you unconsciously give off a weird/creepy vibe or have threatening body language or whatever? Worth asking someone you trust. Could be you are so pre-occuppied with what others think that you start to behave in ways that attract exactly the kind of negative attention you don't want. Happens often. Primarily by being stuck in past hang-ups or reliving trauma.
Really? It's not normal [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/jun/06/america-police-called-on-black-people-everyday-racism]? Have you not been playing attention to the last couple of years [https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/why-white-women-keep-calling-the-cops-on-black-people-699512/]? It's literally being documented how certain women have been calling cops on people who look like me because said women pre-emptively accosted someone, say they "feel threatened", or they are simply vengeful.

It's not up to me to prove or justify people's treatment of people who look like me. I simply report it. You don't have to look "weird" or "creepy" or "threatening" when you wear the threatening colors.

It's completely normal for certain people. Whether you want to accept that or not is up to you. But that doesn't make it any less true for those who have to live that reality.
 

CrazyGirl17

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Yikes, sorry to hear that.

As someone with Autism, I spent first and second grade in special ed classes. Then in third grade, one of the regular teachers, Mrs. Cojerian, decided to let me into her class full time. And I've been in mainstream classes ever since (except in math, but I was never good at that...)

I also remember my entire 5th grade going to The Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, and going up to the base of the former with my mom and a friend. There, my mom took a photo of the New York skyline.

I say this because the trip was in early 2001. Several months later... yeah.
 

Dansen

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ObsidianJones said:
Really? It's not normal [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/jun/06/america-police-called-on-black-people-everyday-racism]? Have you not been playing attention to the last couple of years [https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/why-white-women-keep-calling-the-cops-on-black-people-699512/]? It's literally being documented how certain women have been calling cops on people who look like me because said women pre-emptively accosted someone, say they "feel threatened", or they are simply vengeful.

It's not up to me to prove or justify people's treatment of people who look like me. I simply report it. You don't have to look "weird" or "creepy" or "threatening" when you wear the threatening colors.

It's completely normal for certain people. Whether you want to accept that or not is up to you. But that doesn't make it any less true for those who have to live that reality.
I went through something similar to you due to a nasty falling out I had with a friend group. I would get pretty paranoid when people are laughing or talking in a certain tone around me. I wonder if they are saying things about me behind my back, fortunately its mostly gone away with age but it flairs up now and then. I find talking myself through how irrational I was being helped me. I know your situation is a bit different and this took a lot of practice but it helps me a lot when ever I get anxious.
 

Neurotic Void Melody

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Kids are immoral assholes, they'll lie, cheat, steal, smoke crack etc etc. They don't give a shit, especially if they're not taught to. If it's any consolation, my sis lied to her primary school teachers about our mum having a baby then murdering it, which was apparently an awkward meeting that was swiftly corrected luckily without police intervention. And I remember lying around similar age about being hit in the head cause I was too scared to admit to parents I didn't wear a seatbelt in a school bus. That was also quickly corrected and without police intervention. But that was just the tip of the iceberg of unwholesome behaviour.

Anyway, to answer the question in quickest, honestest form, let's seeeee... suicidal depression, alcoholism (don't ask), anxiety, abuse, self-destructive compulsions, inability to cope with friendship and an inability to ever feel what others call "home." Wish there was something upbeat to add to the cocktail. Childhood is wonderful! Though been seriously wondering if that's why nostalgia isn't really an emotion I experience like others do, if nostalgia is dependent on positive memories and the brain doesn't have the necessary emotional strings to pull on to stimulate those areas, it seems like a possible explanation as to why I stare blankly at others losing themselves in their own fuzzy formative recollections.
 

Batou667

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I could go off on a long, depressing tangent about how primary school was Lord of the Flies but with Country Dancing, shin-skinning concrete benches and CRT TVs heavy enough to kill a child, but one of the things that stays with me from that age is the dangerous combination of young children being absolute sponges for information, and the class teacher being the ultimate authority.

Case in point, I had an otherwise very lovely and matronly older lady teacher who once incorrectly told us that the "DC" in Washington DC stood for "District Council". I unquestioningly believed that factoid well into my 20s.
 

immortalfrieza

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The only two things of importance school taught me was this:

1. The vast majority of people are dicks and thus I should avoid people whenever possible.

2. The vast majority of what I was taught in school was completely pointless, not only to me but to nearly everybody.
 

Marik2

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My 3rd grade teacher had a great soothing voice and would read to the whole class. She gave me asmr way before I knew what that was.
 

Silentpony_v1legacy

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The only thing I remember learning was that violence is okay. My bully was the piglet son of the Vice Principle, a single mother, who thought her little hellspawn was Christ reborn, and I, a non-Catholic in a Catholic school, was a lying heathen jealous of Piglet's place in the world.

And he picked on me something fierce. Like taking the litter out of the gerbil cage and blowing it in my face to try to start an asthma attack. I have a scar on my hand from when he straight up stabbed me with a pen, hoping I get poisoned from the ink. Mommy Dearest said it was an accident and I need to man up about a little blood.

Dad told me fight back. Never take anything laying down, I would never be in trouble at home. Don't get expelled, but don't be a victim. My crowning achievement was kicking him so hard in the chest he could barely breathe, his mom threatened to have me expelled except my friend confirmed my side of the story, suspended for a few days, and dad took me to McDonalds for ice cream. He didn't bully me quiet as hard after that, but we usually had Mass every Friday and VP ***** mom threatened to resign if I was allowed in the Chapel. So every Friday I got an hour long study hall.

I do remember the most hurtful thing she ever said was only Catholic pets go to Heaven, and my 'mutt' would never be allowed in. But Mrs *****, I can tell you my little Biscuit is up there waiting for me.
 
Sep 24, 2008
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Silentpony said:
The only thing I remember learning was that violence is okay. My bully was the piglet son of the Vice Principle, a single mother, who thought her little hellspawn was Christ reborn, and I, a non-Catholic in a Catholic school, was a lying heathen jealous of Piglet's place in the world.

And he picked on me something fierce. Like taking the litter out of the gerbil cage and blowing it in my face to try to start an asthma attack. I have a scar on my hand from when he straight up stabbed me with a pen, hoping I get poisoned from the ink. Mommy Dearest said it was an accident and I need to man up about a little blood.

Dad told me fight back. Never take anything laying down, I would never be in trouble at home. Don't get expelled, but don't be a victim. My crowning achievement was kicking him so hard in the chest he could barely breathe, his mom threatened to have me expelled except my friend confirmed my side of the story, suspended for a few days, and dad took me to McDonalds for ice cream. He didn't bully me quiet as hard after that, but we usually had Mass every Friday and VP ***** mom threatened to resign if I was allowed in the Chapel. So every Friday I got an hour long study hall.

I do remember the most hurtful thing she ever said was only Catholic pets go to Heaven, and my 'mutt' would never be allowed in. But Mrs *****, I can tell you my little Biscuit is up there waiting for me.
This is horrific.

I do not understand parents like this. I wasn't exactly the apple of my parents' eyes, but they cared about me a good deal. They praised me when I did good, and they let me surely know when I did bad. I do not understand casting a blind eye to your children and letting them become monsters just because you produced them.

Just because they produced them, if anything, you owe them in terms of bringing them up in reality. You won't be the Vice Principal of everything that child does. He wasn't untouchable everywhere. I'm sure he was in for a rude awakening when he left that school.

Dude, I'm very sorry you had to go through that. It's a lot like some situations I went through. I remember when I grew up, TV and the 'good teachers' would always say all you needed to do was get an adult and things would be fine. But what TV and 'Good teachers' never explained is that they were biased as hell. And if they happened to think the world of your tormentor, they would label you a liar and turn on you just as hard as your bullies.
 

Baffle

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Silentpony said:
He didn't bully me quiet as hard after that, but we usually had Mass every Friday and VP ***** mom threatened to resign if I was allowed in the Chapel. So every Friday I got an hour long study hall.
You're much less likely to get molested in study hall than in chapel, so there's that.

All dogs go to heaven. Most people don't.