Cashier Tales

[Flailing Escapist]

I recently started a new job as a cashier [http://www.careerdepot.org/Descriptions/job_cashier.htm]. This is my second week on the job and I've had some screw-ups, funny stories, wierd dilemmas and some unbelievable customers. Having just passed my first week, my basic training and such (I've put in about 38 hours) I'm a little amazed at the sort of things that have happened to me already. This is my first customer service job- not that I haven't had to deal and work with customers before, just not this much or on this level. Here's one of the more unbelievable customer stories I thought I'd share:

This is two days after I've wrapped orientation and I'm on my own (more or less, there are several more experienced associates less than 10 feet away that I'm constantly badgering with questions). It's around six or seven at night (we close at ten) and I'm working my way through a steady stream of customers. When I get two customers, who I'm assuming are husband and wife but have no idea, who approach the counter with their seperate stacks of movies. The man- a larger, 50-something, burly man, sets his two movies in front of me.

I scan his purchases and announce, "That'll be 32 dollars and 80 cents."

He scoffs

-Which I'm sort of amazed at, these are both newer movies and we obviously don't have sales on them. I'm not sure what he was expecting, the price tags are right on the movies. Not to mention that these movies are in plastic, magnet-locked cases that kind of signify their "newness".

He then hands me his credit card and I ask to see his ID.

-Where I work is one of the few places I've seen where we, the cashiers, ask for an ID and a signature if you pay with a credit card. This is probably some what foreign to most new shoppers here but I don't think it's uncalled for. You would be amazed what people try to do, steal and weasel their way out of here. It's sad too because we sell many movies, video games and CDs for a very cheap price, cheaper than just about anywhere in town. We don't have the best selection of movies, games or music because most of our stock is used and if people aren't selling it we won't have it. But I can't count the number of times I've asked someone checking out if they found what they were looking for -to which they responded no but they found this, this and this and all for a cheap price too!

He looks and me and mumbles something about not having his ID on him, which I can barely hear so I wait for a few seconds and then ask if I can see his ID again. He throws up his hands and says he doesn't have his ID on him -it's in the car. I tell him I need to see his ID or he'll need to pay some other way because I can't sell him these movies without it.

-Actually we do have a few leniences with the ID rule. If it had been less than $20 I probably would've just swiped his card and recommended that he bring it in with him next time.

"I'll go out and get it", he says before muttering something about this store having stupid rules and stalking out the front door.

While he's gone I set his movies aside while I ring up the lady and few more customers.

When he returns he tosses his driver's license on the counter, which I look at (of course the name and picture on his ID matches up but it's still my first week and I'm not about to break protocol for any reason) and I hand back to him.

He asks if I'm really, reeeally sure that it's him.

I smile (for many reasons) and assure him I'm sure it's him.

As soon as I ring him him up and hand him his bag he loudly announces that he's never coming back to this store again and stomps out the door.

For a larger, 50-something, burly man I was really taken aback by his behavior. "These are just movies!" I wanted to tell him. But of course, this is a customer service job and I'm here to service customers. Before you think anything else I want to let you know these guys are by far the minority. I get more customers that tell me how glad they are that we have this ID/signature system in place than I get complaints about it.
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Does anybody else have any other cashiering/customer service situations they'd like to share? If I see any good ones I'll place them up here next to this one:

Spoiler: Flailing's cashier story #2

On a different day I had a customer walk up to the counter with a single movie.

-Usually when I scan a movie I tend not to pay too much attention to the tag on the movie unless they have a sale sticker on them as well. But there was no one waiting behind him and he only had one movie.

When I scanned his movie I was puzzled. The computer said it was The Big Hit and it was $2.99 (I believe it was The Big Hit, I don't remember what it was exactly).

I looked back at the movie, which I was sure was The Big Lebowski and sure enough it was (the goddamn Dude is on the cover). So I scan it again because these scanners have a tendency of being wrong the first time but they always correct themselves the second time.

I scan it again and the screen says it's The Big Hit - $2.99. Again. Still The Big Hit - $2.99. Again.

This is when I take a closer look at the the tag on the movie which says (wait for it) The Big Hit. A closer look reveals another tag underneath it so I pull the top tag off which was covering up The Big Lebowski tag.

I look at the customer who is looking away at something else and scan the movie one more time. Now I get The Big Lebowski - $8.99.

So, I inform the customer that the tag on the movie was wrong and it'll be $8.99.

To which he says something like, "somebody really tried to dupe you guys, huh. I've actually had this happen to me before, when I brought my movie home it had a cheaper tag on it than what the price actually was."

I have no idea if he put the tag on there himself and was trying to recover from pulling a fast one on us, he could afford it after all. But the point is that somebody switched price tags on us (and then put the movie back on the shelf apparently) all to save a couple bucks.

Sometimes I don't get these people.

 

[White Lightning]

Seeing as how I can't remember all the details to these events, and the fact that there are so many I shall give them to you in bullet form. *Ahem*

1. People who couldn't speak English yelling at me for not understanding them.

2. A drunk female customer inquiring about the size of my Penis.

3. A drunk female customer trying to "order" me. (I work at a fast food place...)

4. A drunk male customer who felt the need to tell me how hairy his girlfirends Vagina is.

5. A drunk male customer inquiring about the size of my Penis and my opinion of Homosexual rights.

6. A bomb threat

7. People telling me how certain products our store sells are made. (I don't know why these people think they know more about the damn store/products then the people who work there.)

8. Two customers who felt the need to tell me they were going to eat out their girlfriends when they got home.

9. An old lady spilled her drink all over the floor, came over to tell me what happened and yelled at me when I left to get a mop.

10. The horrible things people leave in the bathrooms


Seeing as how that's all I can remeber for now I'll stop but with my luck I'm sure I'll be able to more add to the list tonight.

 

[Flailing Escapist]

snipits

Uhhhh #10. A couple years ago I worked at a hotel doing housekeeping. I remember finding condoms and lube, puke puddles and one time somebody shit in a jacuzzi.

And was #8 at the same time or two seperate occasions?

 

[Alternative]

*remembers back to my last cashier job*

Oh god... the horror..... the horror

the amount of overweight,middle aged women who looked down their nose at me, exclaiming how everything in the store costs too much as i scan through the 400 or so items they are buying.
even worse when you see the same woman doing it every week.

 

[White Lightning]

snipits

Uhhhh #10. A couple years ago I worked at a hotel doing housekeeping. I remember finding condoms and lube, puke puddles and one time somebody shit in a jacuzzi.

And was #8 at the same time or two seperate occasions?

Unfortunately number 8 was at the same time, the two guys came in together, one asked what the other was doing when he got home and it went downhill from there.

 

[Colour Scientist]

I used to work as a sales assistant in a shop with a porn section and you really get some strange scenarios.

One time this fairly old man came into the shop with a porn box-set and said he wanted to give it back. I asked him for his receipt but he said he'd lost it soon after purchase. I informed him that I couldn't give him a refund without a receipt but that he could exchange it for something else if he wanted to. To which he replied, 'oh, I don't want anything else. I'm done with it and I'm just giving it back' and promptly walked out, leaving the goods on the counter. This guy was like my Grandad's age and I just stood there stunned for a while. I rang my manager and asked what I should do with said box-set and he made me put it back out on sale.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Customer Service always brings out the strangest people.

I have cashier stories, but my best has to be when I was a bag boy so I'll use that instead.

I was bagging up a customers groceries when this little old lady in huge magnifying glasses slowly mosied up to the line. I thought sweet as older customers tend to tip well. Well I was wrong... dead wrong. Apparently everyone at the store called her "The Fly Lady"

She immediately started to complain about waiting in line and how shes the customer and there is no reason a PAYING CUSTOMER should wait in line. After the cashier rang her up I put away her groceries as she pulled her car around for a "parcel pick up". Its a thing we did where a customers pulls to the front and we put the groceries away for her.

I was busy putting groceries away in a customer ahead of her. It was a mom and her two kids. While the mom strapped in her baby and I was stuffing bags into the back of her van this white Lincoln pulled up and started blaring the horn in my face. It was the fly lady again.

Well I calmly put away the rest of the groceries for the first customer. Even the mom was shaking her head asking what her problem was. Good news is she gave me a pity tip which was nice.

Well then the fly lady pulled up and I started putting away her groceries. She complained the whole time. When I was finished immediately after I close the truck she sped off.

I hate customer service.... I'll never do it again, but I recommend everyone does it once. The horrible experience will make you a better person.

 

[Bertylicious]

I have it on good authority that working with the general public is hilarious untill you get an old person with dementia who pisses themselves in your shop. After that it all gets a bit maudlin.

 

[cerealnmuffin]

So glad I am out of retail work, but I guess here are a couple.

The customer jokes... ugh.. you know the ones. If it doesn't scan the first time through the scanner, they chime in, "Must be free hurr de-durr". If you say the price is 19.99, they declare, "That's a good year!" Then there are all the people who think they can check out books and they give me their library card...

There was a lady who expected me to throw away a tissue she just blew her nose on.

This guy was buying an ultra right wing book, but when it didn't scan the first time through the old scanner, he started ranting how it was a liberal conspiracy. He even yelled how we didn't want to sell the books.... they were on a huge display table right next to where you walk in. Though I do think they would have made better kindling for fireplaces.

There was a lady who asked what the price was on a book despite it being marked clearly. (This happens often), but I was astounded by the stupidity that followed. I said it was 15 dollars and she scoffed how expensive it was, but then she saw the price and said, "14.95! That's a good deal!"

I've had people scream and yell at me for the most inane things. One guy even said he knew it had nothing to do with me and that I couldn't do anything, but he had to yell at someone.... I ended up crying which made him feel like a jerk for making a girl cry haha.... he was really taking a lot of low jabs at me for someone upset their online order (which the store doesnt even handle) took 2 extra days.

Then there are the guys who only communicate via grunting or the ones who ask 'How are you?" but don't wait for a reply before barking an order. Then there are the people who swear they will never come back, but they always do.

There was also this extremely large lady who cackled how I had to shut up or do whatever she wanted because SHE WAS THE CUSTOMER. I'd ask if she wanted receipt or not in the bag and she'd stop me halfway and cackle 'shuddap". I hope she died trying to cross the great expanse of ten feet to her car.

I remember this one guy tried stabbing one of my coworkers, because his member card had expired.....

I have many crazy stories about being on the sales floor. There was this guy who was looking for a porn book... ugh... and he told me how he had just gotten out of jail for headbutting his girlfriend for making fun of his truck. He then proceeded to tell me that he could make it rain and that his skin turned green because he was the reincarnation of the Egyptian god Osiris. He said he had made it recently rain and I told him that I hated rain. He then promised to not make it rain as hard. Finally, he left, saying he had to go back to jail. I waved and said, "Have fun ^^!"

There was also the guy who spilled his coffee over expensive art books. While I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the mess, he whined how 'it wasn't his day".

There was also this older lady who was a right wing fundie looking for some hatemonger book. I nicely helped her and she was surprised to hear my hobbies are piano and the like. She also was surprised to see a girl wearing a dress with knee high socks. She said that I was a wonderfully sweet girl who kept good old fashioned values alive since I wasn't wearing jeans and I had a demure personality... I'm sure if I had told her that I'm TG her head would have exploded.

Luckily, I never had to work the days the bathroom "artist" painted on the walls with their own "paint".... No matter all of the abuse I had endured, I would have walked out then and there if I was the poor coworker who was made to clean that. Supposedly, they had drawn a smiley face and a house....

I'm so glad to be in an actual respectable profession (esl teacher) where I actually have money in the bank =P.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Seeing as how I can't remember all the details to these events, and the fact that there are so many I shall give them to you in bullet form. *Ahem*

1. People who couldn't speak English yelling at me for not understanding them.

Oh thank God that just doesn't happen here.
I thought people were being silly when they kept saying my city is full of ignorant people. They weren't joking!

OT: Well recently some woman bought 2 packets of crisps from my work. Crisps are 62p at mine which I agree is very steep. They're usually in a 'meal deal' sort of thing which is probably why.
I asked her for the £1.24 and she goes, "For two packets of crisps! I don't think so!"

I said, "Yes, love. It is a bit steep and I don't agree with the prices either. But they're clearly labelled 62p."

To which she says, "Yeah, but I didn't think they'd actually be that much!"

I have loads of stories but I funnily enough have to get ready for work now... sure I'll have some more when I come home.

 

[xmbts]

I was working with a friend from highschool, we'll call him Jay.

Jay: "You should totally go ham right now."

Me: "I don't know what that means."

Jay: "Well you see, when somebody disrespects you you can make a scene and leave and that's called going ham."

Me: "That's just dumb and annoying..."

*Minutes pass and a disgruntled customer with a cart approaches"

Customer: "I need cigarettes."

Me: "I need an ID."

Customer: "I don't have it with me."

Me: "Then I can't sell them to you, state law."

*The customer slams the cart into the register and storms off swearing under his breath*

Jay: *leans in close* "...That's how you go ham."

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Customer service... urgh...

The amount of times I've had to deal with snotty rich mums with a screaming runny-nosed brat who are upset that their skim soy decaf hazelnut half-caf latte with cinnamon is taking 30 seconds longer to arrive than their similarly snotty rich companion's...

By the time I finished working in cafes, I wanted to pour coffee grounds on every customer who walked in. And if you don't think that's bad, you've never had coffee grounds down your cleavage.

 

[Batou667]

I've had the misfortune of spending several years in various types of retail.

One time a customer was buying a bag of chillies (that's pimentos to you Americans). My till had three separate entries for types of chilli: hot chillies, long chillies, and green chillies. Before me was a bag of long green chillies, so I asked the customer what they were exactly. He looked at me like I was from the planet Zog and said "They're chillies". I thanked him and pressed a random button. The next bag of vegetables was carrots, and this customer and the guy behind both simultaneously went "those are carrots, lololol".

Something didn't scan first time? "That means it's free, right? LOLOLOL"

"Would you like cashback, sir?" "Is it free? If so I'll have a thousand pounds. LOLOLOL"

When selling lottery tickets: "Make it the winner! LOLOLOL"

Working in Tesco: "Can I use my Nectar card?"

Working in Sainsbury's: "Can I use my Tesco card?"

That awkward moment when a young couple go through your till giving eachother flirtatious looks, and they've purchased exactly one large carrot, one courgette, and one cucumber. I was sorely tempted to tell them that butternut squashes and watermelons are on offer, and would they like to try them, too?

The batshit crazy woman who decided that I looked Jewish and gave me a lecture on how the Jews killed Jesus.

I'm showing my age here, but back in the days when supermarkets accepted cheques, you'd be amazed by the number of people who carried chequebooks but not pens. Then they'd glare at you if you didn't have a pen.

I was crouched down one day stacking a low shelf. A customer approached me and said hello. I started to stand to see what they wanted, and he said "Oh, don't get up. I just wanted to compliment you on your hair. It's so... neat"

I'd be pushing trollies in the car park. To secure a long line of trollies we'd be given a special adjustable strap with hooks on both ends. The fucking customers would see me pushing a huge line of trollies, and helpfully rush up and with a big smile add their own trollies to the front of the line. The only problem being that these weren't secured and as soon as I went on an incline, they'd go rolling off into people and traffic. At least one poor bastard's rear light got cracked that way.

captcha: be careful.

Best of luck, OP: you're about to discover how thoroughly weird human beings are. It's a character-buildig experience though.

 

[Blunderboy]

Every man woman and child should be made to work as a cashier for at least 3 months. The same with bar work.
Maybe then people would stop being dicks.
I did my time in retail and bar work. Eight long bloody years. Now I'm a desk jockey.
I'll see if I can dig up some memories later though.

 

[Benni88]

I remember stacking juice with a friend of mine and laughing about the subject of our discussion, when 3 kids a couple of years younger than us at the time walked behind us. Two minutes later our department manager came over and told us we were facing a disciplinary for insulting customers.

The thing that sucked, besides actually being innocent, was that these guys were close to our own age and must've been super insecure to have thought we were laughing at them.

 

[IndomitableSam]

The amount of times you get groped as a girl is amazing. Like it's OK because you're in retail. I've had people grab my hands, stroke them, hold them to their faces, say all sorts of things to me, etc. ... I kinda wish someone would try that on me now - I've learned that you can fight back as it is abuse, screw the job and consequences.

 

[CaptainMarvelous]

I used to work in a comic shop so I have got these stories for DAYS. My boss affectionately nicknamed these customers "Crack-Lords" due to his belief they must smoke large amounts of crack. Personal favourites

-A guy enters and asks if we do trade-ins on consoles. We did, old video games being a good chunk of the money we make. The man plops a silver item with four slots on the counter. I look at it for a few seconds and say
"That's a toaster"
"Nah, it isn't, it's a console-"
"It isn't though is it. It's a toaster"
Awkward silence and the man grabs his toaster and leaves.

-Different guy, different month
"Do you do trade-ins?"
"Yes"
"Do you buy shoes"
"...... No"

-The legendary Gameboy-guy, a man who will appear once a week and spend 2-3 hours talking about gameboy guys to us. He often bought things, returned them the next week with the receipt for a refund like we were blockbusters and generally drove me and the boss insane to the point we actually had reaction time challenges for "Who can get upstairs fastest to leave the other poor sap to deal wih it"

-Different job now, had the immense displeasure of someone kicking up a fuss and trying to get a complete refund for an opened game. It was Skyrim as it happened, but this insatiable prick just kept trying to drag in that it was glitchy and broken and demanding we, the store, take responsibility and re-imburse him. We tried to explain "We don't MAKE the games" but no shits were given, that guy ate up 5 HOURS of my life, my co-workers life, my unbelievably patient deputy managers life he was... we throw the word entitled around a lot but this guy just did NOT understand how the world functions. Because the game had glitches it meant we, the store, had sold him a faulty product and my patient explanations of "Take it up wth Bethesda and the thousands of customers who WEREN'T affected by this" fell on deaf ears

Similar story, guy I KNOW complained that Skyrim didn't come out in october and waited for the 'midnight launch' despite me telling him that it wasn't happening. He kicked up a fuss and I pulled "He's a friend" protocol and dragged his dumb ass outside when the manager was distracted.

-And now the open ended
"Do you have this (thing we have no reason to stock, let's say JLS CD in a game shop)"
"Sorry, No we don't"
"What!? Why not, this is a outrage!?"
"We sell Video games, why the hell would we have JLS new CD!?"

Working retail brings out everyone's inner misanthrope

 

[Woodsey]

That does seem kind of an inane rule, although his reaction was still pretty childish.

When I did work experience when I was about 14 they put me on the cash registers. We were pretty busy one time and I'd close the till without giving this guy his 5p change (like 10 cents in the States, I guess), so he pointed it out and it meant I then had to ask the person next to me to unlock my till (you can't do it outside of transactions unless you have some swipe card or number, can't remember), and they couldn't help until they'd finish with their customer. So the guy stands and stares at me for like 2 minutes whilst we wait for 5p. In the middle of the day. On a Wednesday.

Yes, obviously he had every right to stand there Steven, you fucking smart arse, but come on. It's 5p! Who gives a shit?!

I believe in my second week of work experience I was tasked with placing some returned items back on shelves, the last of which was a bottle of Vagisil. Which I had to walk around with for an hour. Because virtually all the staff on at the time were women. And I couldn't find the shelf. And like fuck was I going to ask.

 

[Alternative]

I'm showing my age here, but back in the days when supermarkets accepted cheques, you'd be amazed by the number of people who carried chequebooks but not pens. Then they'd glare at you if you didn't have a pen.

At the supermarket i worked at they still accepted checks and the customers still never bring pens.

Yes, obviously he had every right to stand there Steven, you fucking smart arse, but come on. It's 5p! Who gives a shit?!

HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME! HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING!

*paranoid*

 

[Blunderboy]

The amount of times you get groped as a girl is amazing. Like it's OK because you're in retail. I've had people grab my hands, stroke them, hold them to their faces, say all sorts of things to me, etc. ... I kinda wish someone would try that on me now - I've learned that you can fight back as it is abuse, screw the job and consequences.

Wait, what? What the hell?
Your manager is okay with this?!