Castrating a Hippo Is More Difficult Than You Might Think

Josh Engen

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Aug 19, 2013
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Castrating a Hippo Is More Difficult Than You Might Think



A Viennese research team has developed a new technique for hippopotamus emasculation.

I've never had a good reason to castrate a hippopotamus, but I'm assuming that it's not a pleasant process, for me or the hippo. However, a team of researchers from the University of Veterinary Medicine in Vienna has created a step-by-step tutorial. Now I'll be ready if I'm suddenly surrounded by a pack of virile hippopotami.

Unlike most mammals, castrating a hippopotamus is extremely difficult. Their testicles are located deep inside of their body, and the location can vary widely from hippo to hippo. So, even if you can manage to successfully anesthetize the beasts, you'll probably need to dig around for a while.

In the past, castration has been impossible, but this new technique is promising. So far the Viennese team has managed to successfully emasculate ten hippos. Unfortunately, though, one died following a complication from a pre-existing condition.

Now, before you grab a pair of forceps and a scalpel, you should know that hippo castration is typically a last resort. Hippos are a threatened species, so we'd prefer that they procreate rather than sit around with a bag of frozen peas in their laps like my dad after his vasectomy. This procedure was designed for zoos that already have too many hippos, or have an overly aggressive male population.

Science is a beautiful thing.

Source: University of Veterinary Medicine, Vienna [http://www.vetmeduni.ac.at/en/infoservice/presseinformation/press-releases-2013/press-release-12-20-2013-birth-control-at-the-zoo/]

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Scorpid

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Jul 24, 2011
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Uhhhh... Okay >_>

This might be the most random thing to appear on this site that i've seen. But thanks for the info I guess, knowledge is never bad I suppose.
 

Z of the Na'vi

Born with one kidney.
Apr 27, 2009
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That was by far, the strangest thing I have ever read on the Escapist to date.

I am concerned.
 

The White Hunter

Basment Abomination
Oct 19, 2011
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I will bear this in mind in case it becomes necessary, but in the event of an agressive hippo i think killing it is marginally easier.
 

Aris Khandr

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Oct 6, 2010
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I have legitimately never thought about hippopotamus castration at any point in my life. And yet I clicked the article anyway. Why? I have no idea. But now I know, I guess. Yay knowledge?
 

Callate

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Dec 5, 2008
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I've been told that hippos kill more people than lions.

That being the case, if I'm ever near a hippo, I'm going to strenuously deny having ever even heard of this article.
 

Kanova

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Oct 26, 2011
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Callate said:
I've been told that hippos kill more people than lions.

That being the case, if I'm ever near a hippo, I'm going to strenuously deny having ever even heard of this article.
Hippos kill the most in Africa out of any other animal, I think. If you go near the water, and there are hippos in there they will kill the shit out of you.
 

Callate

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Kanova said:
Callate said:
I've been told that hippos kill more people than lions.

That being the case, if I'm ever near a hippo, I'm going to strenuously deny having ever even heard of this article.
Hippos kill the most in Africa out of any other animal, I think. If you go near the water, and there are hippos in there they will kill the shit out of you.
One article I read suggested the honor should go to the mosquito.

But it's a lot easier to see the threat in the animal that weighs 8,000 pounds.
 

shadowxvii

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Jan 9, 2013
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Callate said:
Kanova said:
Callate said:
I've been told that hippos kill more people than lions.

That being the case, if I'm ever near a hippo, I'm going to strenuously deny having ever even heard of this article.
Hippos kill the most in Africa out of any other animal, I think. If you go near the water, and there are hippos in there they will kill the shit out of you.
One article I read suggested the honor should go to the mosquito.

But it's a lot easier to see the threat in the animal that weighs 8,000 pounds.
You can also get more technical and say that humans kill the most too, though I have no numbers or fact to back that assumption.
 

Vivi22

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Aug 22, 2010
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Considering Hippos are the most dangerous animal in Africa, castrating them is probably just as difficult as I think it would be, though obviously not for the same reasons.
 

PhantomEcho

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Nov 25, 2011
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Science is indeed a wonderful, chillingly horrifying thing.

That being said, Hippopotamus testicles aren't something one typically learns about every day. Knowing how to find and/or remove them in the event that such is necessary could be handy. It's good they've discovered a way to do so with only a 1/10 chance of death.

Eventually they'll design a machine to do it.

Then that machine will go mad and begin castrating all living creatures... and the apocalypse will have begun.

[Captcha: where to go] Oddly fitting...
 

soren7550

Overly Proud New Yorker
Dec 18, 2008
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Scorpid said:
Uhhhh... Okay >_>

This might be the most random thing to appear on this site that i've seen.
I feel the same way.

Z of the Na said:
That was by far, the strangest thing I have ever read on the Escapist to date.

I am concerned.
Oh lawdy, your avi is making me laugh so hard, I can't even...