Chinese City Builds A Stargate to Nowhere

Greg Tito

PR for Dungeons & Dragons
Sep 29, 2005
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Chinese City Builds A Stargate to Nowhere

Chinese officials state the huge ring of steel's purpose is purely for "tourism".

There is certainly precedent for building large monuments that serve no other purpose than to impress the world. There's the Pyramids at Giza, of course, and the Colossus of Rhodes. In modern times you could say the St. Louis Arch, Mt. Rushmore and London's Millennium Eye fit that bill. The Chinese city of Fushun is putting the finishing touches on a similar structure - a 157 meter high "halo" made of 3,000 tons of steel called the Ring of Life. Critics are upset about the waste of materials and labor needed to create the building, but perhaps there's another purpose in mind.

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A Chinese official from Fushun named Xia Hongjun said the city had difficulty building entertainment facilities because of the relatively small population of Fushun. Its total of 1.3 million people only ranks Fushun as China's 75th largest city. I suppose that many people is small potatoes to the Chinese, so Fushun's municipal government built the Ring of Life to encourage tourism. Four elevators will be installed in the building to bring sightseers up to the top.

Ok, sure. Tourism. But from where?

I'm not outright accusing China of building a portal to allow aliens to invade Earth, but how can we be sure that's not what they have in mind? I don't see any glyphs or markings on the Ring of Life, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. Is China completing a secret Stargate program based on years of study in wormhole physics since discovering a Stargate in the Himalayas? That would be preposterous, because there's no known source of naquadah on Earth ... unless the Chinese are trading with the Goa'uld?!

Man, this conspiracy just keeps getting better and better.

Source: Cri-English [http://english.cri.cn/6909/2012/11/13/2743s732348.htm#none]

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Skeleon

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Nov 2, 2007
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I don't see any chevrons for dialing up. We should be okay. At best, this is like a cargo cult recreating a landing strip.
 

Occams_Razor

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Oct 20, 2012
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I for one welcome our new alien overlords.

Lets be honest here, if you were building a giant portal to herald the alien invasion, you'd damn sure claim it was 'just for show' until it was too late as well.
 

Falterfire

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Jul 9, 2012
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I totally trust the Chinese to not lie to us in any way about the true function of this device. Due to the previous track record of unfailing truthiness the Chinese have thus far displayed, I have no choice but to accept their declaration of intent as legitimate and not a cover operation for their attempts to corner the market on extraterrestrial materials.
 

Quaxar

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Sep 21, 2009
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Greg Tito said:
There is certainly precedent for building large monuments that serve no other purpose than to impress the world. There's the Pyramids at Giza, of course, and the Colossus of Rhodes. In modern times you could say the St. Louis Arch, Mt. Rushmore and London's Millennium Eye fit that bill.
That's silly. The pyramids were vitally important for Egyptian burial ceremonies, the Colossus was an appeal to the gods and the London Eye is a perfectly good ferris wheel.

Anyway, I can just see how they'll manage to run into trouble. Big shiny ring? Can't imagine how that could ever <url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walt_Disney_Concert_Hall#Reflection_problems>go <url=http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/upshot/swanky-vegas-hotel-death-ray-proves-inconvenience-guests.html>wrong.
 

ritchards

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Nov 20, 2009
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So when are they building the other two rings that will rotate around so we can drop Jodie Foster into it?
 

Bill Nye the Zombie

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Apr 27, 2012
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Quaxar said:
Greg Tito said:
There is certainly precedent for building large monuments that serve no other purpose than to impress the world. There's the Pyramids at Giza, of course, and the Colossus of Rhodes. In modern times you could say the St. Louis Arch, Mt. Rushmore and London's Millennium Eye fit that bill.
That's silly. The pyramids were vitally important for Egyptian burial ceremonies, the Colossus was an appeal to the gods and the London Eye is a perfectly good ferris wheel.

Anyway, I can just see how they'll manage to run into trouble. Big shiny ring? Can't imagine how that could ever <url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walt_Disney_Concert_Hall#Reflection_problems>go <url=http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/upshot/swanky-vegas-hotel-death-ray-proves-inconvenience-guests.html>wrong.
And Mt. Rushmore and the St. Louis Arch are commemorations of important things in American history. But hey, if one fictional universe is actually real, other than Star Trek, Stargate's is a really good one to have. I guess.
 

mad825

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Mar 28, 2010
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It's clearly for Apophis when he arrives in 2036. He needs to transport his slaves.

 

Aristabulus

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Nov 17, 2009
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Falterfire said:
I totally trust the Chinese to not lie to us...
The first thing in the article I question is the "population of 1.3 million" part. Chinese media will lie about damn near anything, and often not very well. Take a good hard look at the shot with the double cranes... All of the buildings behind it have active construction cranes on them. This points towards the ghost city thing China has been doing for at least a couple years; adding an absurd tourist attraction to a city no one lives in makes total sense!

The earliest solid article I could find quickly was from July 2010 [http://blogs.worldbank.org/transport/rise-of-the-chinese-ghost-town], but there's scattered data that China has been building unnecessary districts and cities as early as 2005.

Boggles the mind... Part of me wants to stockpile popcorn for when that house-of-cards finally collapses, but the rest of me worries that it'll take the rest of the world down with it.
 

Loethlin

Itchy Witch
Apr 24, 2011
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It looks like a giant, stainless steel cock ring. Compensating for something, Fushun?

Also, this news is just in time for my annual Christmas Stargate SG-1 marathon.
 

night_chrono

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Mar 13, 2008
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Yu wrote a really funny article there Greg.

Also for anyone wanting more stargate:

http://www.sggaminginfo.com/2012/11/new-stargate-game-in-production/
 

DrOswald

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Apr 22, 2011
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StraightToHeck said:
It's either a Stargate or one of those weird Dyson bladeless fans.
And what is the purpose of the giant fan? To create hurricanes. What we are seeing here is a new Chinese super weapon, perfectly disguised as a tourist attraction. You turn on the giant fan for a day and a month later a hurricane forms halfway around the world. And the best part? It is impossible to trace the hurricane back to China.

It is the perfect weapon for the modern super power. You don't want to destroy the competition, just weaken them. One by one every nation in the world will turn to China for economic relief as their own economy has been crippled due to "unfortunately" timed hurricanes. In only a few years China will be the world's greatest economic power. In less than a decade China will have purchased the entire world and everything in it for a pittance.

By the time anyone realizes what is actually happening, it will be too late.
 

Baldr

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Jan 6, 2010
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It is not a stargate, just a weather control device. They have on in the Midwest US.
 

Absolutionis

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Sep 18, 2008
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On a marginally related note, the Chinese took the Russian AK-47 and made their own knockoff:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_56_assault_rifle
The only difference? The tip of the sights are a full circle instead of the original half-circle.

It seems they took the St Louis Arch and felt like making that a full circle as well.