Cliffy B's Addiction to Fruit Pies Exposed

Tom Goldman

Crying on the inside.
Aug 17, 2009
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Cliffy B's Addiction to Fruit Pies Exposed



Epic Games designer Cliff Bleszinski has evidently been dragging the Gears of War series down ever since he became addicted to fruit pies.

Alleged EA insider "EA Louse" isn't the only one Gears of War [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/104345-Alleged-Insider-Airs-EAs-Dirty-Laundry] has revealed that the longtime game designer has a terrible addiction to fruit pies, and it's dragging the company down.

"Everything you think you know about 'Cliffy B' is a lie," Anonymouse wrote in an exposé. "He is hopelessly addicted to Hostess Fruit Pies [http://www.amazon.com/Hostess-Fruit-Pie-Apple-Pack/dp/B003IS28TC/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=miscellaneous&qid=1287077827&sr=8-2] and it is ruining his life."

Anonymouse points out that many design decisions implemented in Gears of War and Gears of War 3 [http://www.amazon.com/Gears-War-2-Game-Xbox-360/dp/B002GN8HU4/ref=sr_1_4?s=videogames&ie=UTF8&qid=1287077897&sr=1-4] after keeping them out of the first two titles was made because "[Cliffy B's] brain is wired differently since he switched to Cherry flavor Hostess Fruit Pies."

And who knows what could happen if Bleszinski switches flavors again. Anonymouse reveals that "few other people have noticed the piles of empty wax paper wrappers tucked away in Cliff Bleszinski's closet," so this is an addiction he's been able to keep secret for years. You've got to wonder how someone can function when pumped full of so much tasteless crust and artificial fruit filling.

Anonymouse could be an employee with an axe to grind with Bleszinski, or he could know exactly what he's talking about. Or this could be an obvious joke in response to recent anonymous videogame industry bashing, and a funny one at that. You decide.

UPDATE: Bleszinski has tweeted: "I hang my head in shame, for it is largely true." Guess this isn't a rumor after all.

Source: The horrible truth about Cliff Bleszinski [http://truthepic.blogspot.com/2010/10/horrible-truth-about-cliff-bleszinski.html]


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Cracktopus

New member
Apr 6, 2010
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Mmmhh.... Apples....

"...piles of empty wax paper wrappers tucked away in Cliff Bleszinski's closet"
This made me laugh so hard.
 

kaizen2468

New member
Nov 20, 2009
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This is what counts as news these days? lol poor cliffy and his addiction to fruit pies
 

Jark212

Certified Deviant
Jul 17, 2008
4,455
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The media is going to have a field day with this one...

But this article made my day...
 

mjc0961

YOU'RE a pie chart.
Nov 30, 2009
3,847
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Hahaha that's hilarious. Massive kudos to whoever the guy who did that is, and to Cliff for playing along.
 

SharedProphet

New member
Oct 9, 2008
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This is more a parody of the IceFrog one [http://icefrogtruth.blogspot.com/2010/10/truth.html] than the EA Louse one.
 

Sonicron

Do the buttwalk!
Mar 11, 2009
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So... now what? Fruit pie rehab? Trying to ween him off fruit pies with meat pies, cigarettes or large quantities of booze? ... -.-°
 

Loonerinoes

New member
Apr 9, 2009
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OH MY GOD! But if this one was true, then that means that the other one must also be completely true too!

Heh...not that I really care much for the stardom of the big superstar names of videogame industry, but to be honest this kind of info on them is probably on par with the controversial ones so - nice work mouse for the image of Cliffy B making decisions while munching down on those pies.
 

Krion_Vark

New member
Mar 25, 2010
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Anyone else want to join me in making up Pseudonyms just to spread hilarious stories that aren't necessarily true about the gaming industry now?
 

KeyMaster45

Gone Gonzo
Jun 16, 2008
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Next I suppose we're going to be treated to an anonymous posting about how Tim Schaffer has been having a secret love affair with a bucket and how it is the reason why everyone in Psychonauts looks like their heads were beaten with (you guessed it) a bucket.