Come Up with Achievements for XBone TV

[Total LOLige]

"General Igonorance" - Minus 20G or what Stephen Fry sees fit.
You answered incorrectly in the General Ignorance round of QI.

"Survivor" 100G
Watched every episode of Lost, even after S2 when it got shit

" 'Movie' Star"
Have sex in front of Kinect

"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."(Complete with HAL voice) - 10G
Attempt to unplug Kinect

 

[triggrhappy94]

Wine and Dine
Took the Kinect on a date.

Who said culture is dead?
While watching any reality TV show, perform Hamlet with a full cast for the Kinect.

Excellent
Watch the same commercial 1,000 times

We Should Probably Be Paying You
Watch 1,000,000 commercials

I've seen worse
Take a dump on the floor in front of the Kinect

I won't tell if you agree to pre-order the next Halo game
Get caught doing something illegal in front of the Kinect.

Dog House
The Kinect has watched you sleeping on the couch.

You sure you don't want to buy an exercise game?
The Kinect has detected that you've had a heart attack.

 

[zidine100]

Yo dog

watched a xbox one advert in your xbox one.

 

[PoolCleaningRobot]

Why don't you take a seat over there?

Watch an entire episode of Toddlers and Tiaras

I hope you guys realize this thread will only convince Microsoft this is a good idea

 

[Total LOLige]

Yo dog

watched a xbox one advert in your xbox one.

Congratz, you win this thread. It's going to be hard to beat this one.

 

[Saxnot]

First a Quote, because Shamus Young is a Boss:

'Achievement Unlocked: FOUND SASQUATCH - Watched a show on The History Channel that was actually about history.'

and now my attempt

'You're really backwards'

Try to run an Xbox 360 game on the XBone

 

[SuperSuperSuperGuy]

Hey, where'd you go?
Spent a total of a week with your Kinect staring at the wall in an attempt to divert its all-seeing eye.

I can see you...
Attempt and fail to cover up your Kinect.

I'm not always online...
Fail to check in online once every 24 hours.

But... it does TV too...
Disregard the television option and play only games for a week straight.

"Did you say 'Shut down XBox'? Okay!"
Have Kinect shut down your Xbone by having it interpret audio from the TV as a command.

And finally...

Joke's on you!
Just how much did you spend on this console and its online features?

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

achievement unlocked: "mom, don't touch my stuff." if you don't get it hooked up right on the first try.

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

"Spoilered" - Have your enjoyment of a show ruined by someone telling you how it ends over xbox live.

 

[Mike Richards]

"XB Phone Home"
Synchronize watching ET with the console's once-a-day online check-in.

"12 Angry Men or Less"
Be denied access to the movie you just rented because there are too many people in the audience.

"Now I Know Why You Cry"
Make it through The Angles Take Manhattan without tearing up.

"Shine on You Crazy Diamond-Man"
Watch all the Twilight movies alone, only available if male.

"Go Home and Think About What You've Done"
Watch any of the Twilight movies at all.

"Xbox Won"
Have your show interrupted because the Kinect responded to something one of the character's said.

"I'm Scared Dave, Will I Dream?"
Unbox your new PS4 in front of the Kinect.

'You're really backwards'

Try to run an Xbox 360 game on the XBone

I love it.

 

[AkaDad]

Achievement unlocked

Jock Itch
Watched an episode of SportsCenter

2 guys 1 cup
Played NHL 14 on co-op for the Stanley Cup

Stroke This!
Watched any PGA or LPGA tournament

ICU
Use Kinect for the first time

Shag Carpet
Had sex with a partner on the floor

Freaks and Geeks
Watched an episode of The Nerdist

Sploosh
Watched an episode of Archer

Junk Drawers
Played a Kinect game in your underwear

Paper Weight
Try using your Xbox One without Kinect

 

[FoolKiller]

Trophies are for losers!
Platinum a PS3 or PS4 game in front of the Kinect

You're a moron!
Watch a full season of House on your Xbox One

What is...
Watch Jeopardy! for 5 straight nights

Double dipped
Eat some tortilla chips while watching Seinfeld

Don't you know what day it is?
Watched a Saturday Night Live rerun on a day other than Saturday

Suited Up
Watched How I Met Your Mother while wearing a suit

Have Mercy
Watch any two shows where John Stamos is in the cast

D'OH!
Watched all the seasons of The Simpsons in order

 

[Tartarga]

Such An Expensive Table
Place your PS4, Wii U, or PC on top of your Xbox 1 and play a game on it.

You Don't Deserve to Play my Games, but you Might make a Nice Coaster for my Drink!
Use your Xbox 1 as a coaster.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

Achievement unlocked: Nice Try - attempt to use your Xbox without the Kinect.

Achievement unlocked: Xboned - stream porn to your Xbox.

Achievement unlocked: Got the Reference - laugh at a subtle reference with no on-screen indication.

Achievement unlocked: A Character You Care About - watch any episode of a TV series with your dog.

Achievement unlocked: Goldfish - switch between a TV show and a game and back again within 1 minute.

Achievement unlocked: Be More Careful Next Time - shut down the Xbox in the middle of a game, show or movie by voice command.

Achievement unlocked: I've Had a Few Beers - tell the Xbox to "go home".

Achievement unlocked: I Can Help With That - drink a cold beverage in front of the Kinect.

Achievement unlocked: AFK - watch 3 hours of TV without the Kinect detecting anyone in the room.

Achievement unlocked: Snape Kills Dumbledore - start watching a movie from more than halfway through.

Achievement unlocked: Achieved Nothing - do anything on the Xbox One.

Achievement unlocked: Living In The Past - use a PC in the same room as the Kinect.

 

[Groxnax]

Oh god, my eye!!!: Do something repulsive in front of the Kinect.

Are you going to eat that?: Cook while watching a cooking show that is showing the recipe you are making.

Dude, not cool: The Kinect catches you cheating on your wife.

Dude, RUN!!!: Same as above but your wife just walked in.

Don't go into the shower: She has a knife.

Should I call 911?: House gets broken into.

 

[Xanex]

"Not the console your looking for."
Place a game disk in Xbone

 

[TAGM]

Snack Attack
Eat 10,000 calories worth of food total in front of the kinect.

Did We Do Something Wrong?
Brake an Xbox One Game disk in front of the kinect.

Just Shot Marvin In The Kinect
Watch Pulp Fiction, and have it interrupted halfway through by the kinect recognizing a command from the movie audio.

Never A Good Time
Have a show interrupted by a video call.

Couch Potato
Sit down and have a hot meal in front of the kinect.

Use The Force
Navigate 10 menus successfully while facing away from the screen.

Bad Programmer
Have the kinect misrepresent your voice commands 100 times total.

That's A Good Microslave
Brake another console in front of the kinect.

Still Alive
Attempt to destroy the kinect, but only cause minor damage before giving up.

Sample Plate
Watch five different shows in sequence, with total running time of all five being less then 10 minutes.

ADHD
Have over 100 unfinished shows at any one time.

Luck Based Mission
Watch 10 shows in a row without the kinect recognizing the audio as a command.

All We're Interested In
Make It Rain in front of the kinect for at least 10 seconds.

 

[Uratoh]

It Was His Sled
Watched Citizen Kane for the first time.

What a Twist!
Stop watching an M. Night Shayamalen movie after the obligatory stupid twist.

I've Eaten Here!
Watched an entire season of Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares on Netflix (currently bugged: only functions for US version of the show)

 

[Groxnax]

BEHIND YOU!!!(in blood red letters): Watch a horror movie in the dark.

Is that really going to get you some?: Watch a romantic movie with your romantic interest.

I think they have a pill for that: Make 10 or more unsuccessful motions to the Kinect.

Whoa!! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?: Curse during gameplay/multiplayer/at the Kinect.

What did I do?: Give the middle finger to the Kinect.

I wish that happened to me: During the Transformers movie when the cube started giving life to random objects.