Cop City (AKA the General Sherman appreciation thread)


Elite Member
May 28, 2020
United States
So, WTF is going on this time?

Well, the story starts in 1920 Atlanta, GA, and the height of Jim Crow. You see, folks down there were just plain tired of that damn old 13th Amendment and thought to themselves, "now how can we get our old plantations back?". Lucky for them, the answer was quick, easy, and simple. If you just called your plantations "prison farms", slave auctions "courthouses", and your slaves "convicts", you could get all the free "alternative agricultural equipment" you ever wanted and then some, and Uncle Sam just wouldn't give a shit!

And thus, the Old Atlanta Prison Farm was born!

Well, time went on and people got that whole "civil rights" business in their heads, but that don't matter much here. You see, "civil rights" came and went, and sure Clinton may have helped things along a bit with his crime bill, but it was a dollar short and a day late for the old Atlanta prison farm. It was closed in 1990, suffering a fate worse than being forgotten in the annals of history: it was turned into a greenspace to appease the hippies.

Thirty years later, folks got mad for some reason over the unfortunate death of George Floyd, and not even a month later, Atlanta police were involved in an active shooter circumstance in a crowded Wendy's parking lot, during which taser-armed, serial drive-thru sleeper, Rayshard Brooks fell dead following a globular circumnavigatory charge attempt. People didn't take too kindly to that either, and a solution had to be found.

Lucky, the answer was just as quick and easy as it was in 1920: just turn that old prison farm into a 95-acre, $90 million, "training complex" where cops can run, shoot, shout, and be free with all the militarized weapons, armor, and vehicles their hearts could ever desire! The municipal government tried to approve and start work on it before word could get it, but out did, and for some reason opinions on it were overwhelmingly negative. So, the municipal government did the reasonable thing and appoint an community advisory committee that consisted exclusively of supporters, and one critic that was kicked out after voicing opposition.

And that's when the hippies moved in, doing their environmentalist ecoterrorism thing and all. Year and a half it's been of constant protest and police eviction, and when police were once again involved in a minor situation of aerial lead pollution with no body cams, in which a protestor fell dead, instances of domestic terror spiked in the city of Atlanta.

Governor Brian Kemp's done had to declare a state of emergency about it, and mobilize a thousand National Guardsmen to deal with these nefarious leftist domestic terrorists and their locked and loaded, fully automatic, military-grade assault rocks and cans of spray paint! Mighty white of him, I'd say!

...okay, now that I have most of my sarcastic cynicism out of my system, onto the actual point. So, cloning technology. Cool, right? I'd start with this guy:

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