Ok I said it once but I'll say it again. I'm sorry for putting up another one of these but for the life of me I can't figure out how to improve myself since I have no idea what went wrong. First off I've asked 5 girls out in my life and none of them worked. There are also 2 that never got to an attempt but one of them isn't important. Also this will be very long so if you don't like another one of these then it won't get any easier so might want to just leave now. Sorry. One more thing I only bring up looks because they differed for me in preference but they still mean almost nothing compared to personality. With that said incoming paragraph bombing run.
The first girl I met roughly 3 years ago in group therapy. We were both there due to some socializing problems (being shy and such). Physically she wasn't anything breathtaking but she was still cute but her personality was. I realized over the next few months I was steadily falling for her and when one of our friends was having a Christmas Break party (not a Christmas party this was for the week break after the 1st semester ended in December) and I confessed my feelings for her there. While she didn't shut me down there because we were in group therapy and dating was generally discouraged within the group (which didn't help that 2 others started dating there, broke up after 2 weeks, and spent the next few months having some SERIOUS fights with the girl almost punching the guy at one point) so if anything was going to happen it would have to wait until group ended. The problem with this was she lives very far from me, group was the only time we saw each other, and I had no way of going to her aside from getting my parents to take me. So when group ended I said I regretted not being able not to go out with her where she then asked me if I wanted to ask her now. I had to talk to the therapists though so I,excuse my language, pussied out and walked away cowardly. I hate myself to this day for that but that's not the point. A few months later I called her up (I'm a MASSIVE coward by the way when it comes to phones and women alike) and apologized for taking so long to call her and asked her if she would still take a chance and go out with me where she told me this wasn't ready. Where once again being a coward took me 2-3 more months to call again but this time I figured I would just talk with her for a while where I found out she was already going out with someone. She then later told me that she knew that guy for a long time and that there was no chance of us ever working. However to this day we are still friends (if you want to use that term. All of my friends are generally distant from me) and I acknowledge this as my failure for being such a massive coward.
The second one (this one is somewhat shorter) I met in 11th grade (the next year after meeting the last one) and she had both great looks and a very enjoyable personality. I asked her out about 6 months after meeting her where she had to ask her dad and her day said she was too young (I was 16 she was 14 with our birthdays being within the same month). This I accept as a very valid reason and didn't argue it anymore. The next year however I tried to be her friend still but we had no classes so we rarely saw each other and while brief we still were good friends to each other and didn't shirk away from conversation with each other but it was nowhere near as much as it used to be
The third girl I knew from 11th grade but didn't really talk to her then. However we sat right next to each other in Spanish 2 in 12th grade so we had more chances to talk (which didn't happen since she was nearly always talking with her friends but we still weren't anywhere near hostile to each other) I did get to know her a good amount but remembering my mistake with girl 1 I think I rushed it and after a few months into the school year I asked her out to be immediately rejected with her saying we were just friends. Again another valid response I hold no grudge over but I wondered what I would have to do to escape that friend boundary to be something more.
Early 2011 (still my 12th grade) I realized I still had feelings for girl 2 and wonder if she would give me a chance or not. So I got a plan to give her a love note on Valentine's day (which came from cowardice but kinda lost all point since I would still have to give it to her) so after 3 drafts I overheard a conversation with her and her friends where she said she had a boyfriend now which was probably the most painful thing that's ever happened to me (not saying I deserve sympathy over everyone else just saying to me). So I tore up the drafts and gave away the teddy bear to someone random who I thought wasn't getting anything (which I found out otherwise). I realized my friendship with her was dying long before this and at that point was no longer there so I abandoned that and spent the next 2 months trying as hard as possible to force my heart to agree with my head and move on.
Girl 4 I met in 12th grade and thought was surefire and basically waiting for me to say something. She acted like a shy schoolgirl when talking to her crush every time we spoke and she always sounded happy to talk to me. So we talked a lot in that class when we got the chance and after a certain point late in the year (late in the 2nd to last month of the school year) I asked her if she had a boyfriend or not and she told me no. I asked this on a Friday and next Wednesday I got the courage to confess and ask her out and she told me she had a boyfriend and didn't remember telling me otherwise. This was probably the least painful thing I've had in my "relationship" history since I was just confused and got over within a day.
Now this one I never got to ask out but I think the story is still important. Also for the purpose of this story there will be 3 characters girl A, girl B, and Boyfriend. First off I had a good crush on Girl A. Girl A is best friends with girl B and Boyfriend is girl B's (guess what) boyfriend. Now I'm good friends with Boyfriend and one day he comes up to me saying we need to talk about a crush he heard I had on a certain girl...A. He said he heard it from girl B but I have no idea where she heard it from (unimportant I know but it still bothers the hell out of me) and that he was going to try to set us up. He was part of the next school assembly and his part was he was going to take a girl and guy and teach them how to dance. Guess who were the lucky guy and girl...A(I'll stop that now). So after making me panic my ass off for a week and a half apparently girl A figured out I had a crush on her and told one of my friends (who she was good friends with too) that she wasn't single. Normally I would just shrug and then move on but the problem here is roughly 2 weeks before this we were talking about relationships and she said she's never had one, wasn't in one, and had no interest in one. This led me to believe she lied to me (also didn't take the 3rd party rejection well either) which was also reinforced by Boyfriend also not believing her one bit.
Girl 5 (I'm not putting names up to respect their privacy and in case any of them are on this site) I also met in 12th grade and while not surefire I thought I had a good chance. I met her from being the teacher's aid for her PE class. I was good friends with her for the time I knew her. At that point school was almost over and on the last day (awful time to ask someone out I know) At the beginning of the class period I confessed to her (I did have feelings for her but she talked a lot about her crushes too so I usually pushed my feelings aside thinking she already was thinking of someone else) and asked her if she would go out with me. She said she needed to think about it and for a time frame this was mid May and she's technically still not done thinking.
My question to you insanely devoted who read this (off topic might want to find something else to do with your time unless you really like helping people in that case much obliged kind sir) is this. How can I learn from these? I am confused beyond confused with this and have no idea what I did wrong or what I could improve with. I would love to say "well this isn't working I'll just stay single and not think of it anymore" but I can't. My thoughts and emotions don't like each other and usually will be entirely disconnected from each other. So what can I learn from these instances? How can I convince my mind and heart to sit down with each other and come up with a common ground? If you can honestly help me and actually read all of this to do so then I thank you very much. Once again seriously you read ALL of this? Do you really have nothing else to do? Well thanks for using your massive spare time to read this then.
The first girl I met roughly 3 years ago in group therapy. We were both there due to some socializing problems (being shy and such). Physically she wasn't anything breathtaking but she was still cute but her personality was. I realized over the next few months I was steadily falling for her and when one of our friends was having a Christmas Break party (not a Christmas party this was for the week break after the 1st semester ended in December) and I confessed my feelings for her there. While she didn't shut me down there because we were in group therapy and dating was generally discouraged within the group (which didn't help that 2 others started dating there, broke up after 2 weeks, and spent the next few months having some SERIOUS fights with the girl almost punching the guy at one point) so if anything was going to happen it would have to wait until group ended. The problem with this was she lives very far from me, group was the only time we saw each other, and I had no way of going to her aside from getting my parents to take me. So when group ended I said I regretted not being able not to go out with her where she then asked me if I wanted to ask her now. I had to talk to the therapists though so I,excuse my language, pussied out and walked away cowardly. I hate myself to this day for that but that's not the point. A few months later I called her up (I'm a MASSIVE coward by the way when it comes to phones and women alike) and apologized for taking so long to call her and asked her if she would still take a chance and go out with me where she told me this wasn't ready. Where once again being a coward took me 2-3 more months to call again but this time I figured I would just talk with her for a while where I found out she was already going out with someone. She then later told me that she knew that guy for a long time and that there was no chance of us ever working. However to this day we are still friends (if you want to use that term. All of my friends are generally distant from me) and I acknowledge this as my failure for being such a massive coward.
The second one (this one is somewhat shorter) I met in 11th grade (the next year after meeting the last one) and she had both great looks and a very enjoyable personality. I asked her out about 6 months after meeting her where she had to ask her dad and her day said she was too young (I was 16 she was 14 with our birthdays being within the same month). This I accept as a very valid reason and didn't argue it anymore. The next year however I tried to be her friend still but we had no classes so we rarely saw each other and while brief we still were good friends to each other and didn't shirk away from conversation with each other but it was nowhere near as much as it used to be
The third girl I knew from 11th grade but didn't really talk to her then. However we sat right next to each other in Spanish 2 in 12th grade so we had more chances to talk (which didn't happen since she was nearly always talking with her friends but we still weren't anywhere near hostile to each other) I did get to know her a good amount but remembering my mistake with girl 1 I think I rushed it and after a few months into the school year I asked her out to be immediately rejected with her saying we were just friends. Again another valid response I hold no grudge over but I wondered what I would have to do to escape that friend boundary to be something more.
Early 2011 (still my 12th grade) I realized I still had feelings for girl 2 and wonder if she would give me a chance or not. So I got a plan to give her a love note on Valentine's day (which came from cowardice but kinda lost all point since I would still have to give it to her) so after 3 drafts I overheard a conversation with her and her friends where she said she had a boyfriend now which was probably the most painful thing that's ever happened to me (not saying I deserve sympathy over everyone else just saying to me). So I tore up the drafts and gave away the teddy bear to someone random who I thought wasn't getting anything (which I found out otherwise). I realized my friendship with her was dying long before this and at that point was no longer there so I abandoned that and spent the next 2 months trying as hard as possible to force my heart to agree with my head and move on.
Girl 4 I met in 12th grade and thought was surefire and basically waiting for me to say something. She acted like a shy schoolgirl when talking to her crush every time we spoke and she always sounded happy to talk to me. So we talked a lot in that class when we got the chance and after a certain point late in the year (late in the 2nd to last month of the school year) I asked her if she had a boyfriend or not and she told me no. I asked this on a Friday and next Wednesday I got the courage to confess and ask her out and she told me she had a boyfriend and didn't remember telling me otherwise. This was probably the least painful thing I've had in my "relationship" history since I was just confused and got over within a day.
Now this one I never got to ask out but I think the story is still important. Also for the purpose of this story there will be 3 characters girl A, girl B, and Boyfriend. First off I had a good crush on Girl A. Girl A is best friends with girl B and Boyfriend is girl B's (guess what) boyfriend. Now I'm good friends with Boyfriend and one day he comes up to me saying we need to talk about a crush he heard I had on a certain girl...A. He said he heard it from girl B but I have no idea where she heard it from (unimportant I know but it still bothers the hell out of me) and that he was going to try to set us up. He was part of the next school assembly and his part was he was going to take a girl and guy and teach them how to dance. Guess who were the lucky guy and girl...A(I'll stop that now). So after making me panic my ass off for a week and a half apparently girl A figured out I had a crush on her and told one of my friends (who she was good friends with too) that she wasn't single. Normally I would just shrug and then move on but the problem here is roughly 2 weeks before this we were talking about relationships and she said she's never had one, wasn't in one, and had no interest in one. This led me to believe she lied to me (also didn't take the 3rd party rejection well either) which was also reinforced by Boyfriend also not believing her one bit.
Girl 5 (I'm not putting names up to respect their privacy and in case any of them are on this site) I also met in 12th grade and while not surefire I thought I had a good chance. I met her from being the teacher's aid for her PE class. I was good friends with her for the time I knew her. At that point school was almost over and on the last day (awful time to ask someone out I know) At the beginning of the class period I confessed to her (I did have feelings for her but she talked a lot about her crushes too so I usually pushed my feelings aside thinking she already was thinking of someone else) and asked her if she would go out with me. She said she needed to think about it and for a time frame this was mid May and she's technically still not done thinking.
My question to you insanely devoted who read this (off topic might want to find something else to do with your time unless you really like helping people in that case much obliged kind sir) is this. How can I learn from these? I am confused beyond confused with this and have no idea what I did wrong or what I could improve with. I would love to say "well this isn't working I'll just stay single and not think of it anymore" but I can't. My thoughts and emotions don't like each other and usually will be entirely disconnected from each other. So what can I learn from these instances? How can I convince my mind and heart to sit down with each other and come up with a common ground? If you can honestly help me and actually read all of this to do so then I thank you very much. Once again seriously you read ALL of this? Do you really have nothing else to do? Well thanks for using your massive spare time to read this then.
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