Crazy Girlfriend/Boyfriend stories anyone?

[similar.squirrel]

There was one girl who had a somewhat unusual family. The grandmother was all kinds of schizophrenic and had attempted to stab this girl some years before. I was told to stay in her room while she was in the house, just in case she didn't take well to me.
We had a pretty stupid breakup, and her sister [a chronic liar of some repute] began telling people that I was a member of a gang, that I lived in a castle and that my mother manufactured bondage gear.
I live in a townland that has 'Castle' in its name and my mother was making and selling leather handbags and purses at the time, so it was more of a radical [and hugely entertaining, in retrospect] embellishment.
I also remember there being swastikas drawn in Tipp-Ex on the cupboards in their pantry.
Generous contributions of crazy were made by me during that relationship as well, don't get me wrong.

Some of these stories are great. Keep 'em coming, I say!
Edit: Except the ones that are sad. I hope the people who posted those are okay now.

 

[Gingerman]

My most recent crazy Gf moment was last August on the day of our anniversity.

Now back drop.

I'm terrible at getting gifts but some weeks prior my ladyfriend exclaimed that she wanted a big stuffed animal from the Bear Factory in a half jokey fashion. Now me in my despratation thought I'd just get her one as I couldn't think of anything better. So I did and named it after a character from one of her favourite books.

I also did a animation for her (studying 2d/3d animation at uni) but sadly 3 days before the due date the file got corrupt so I spent many sleepless nights putting it back together. But eventually finished it merely 5 hours before going to meet her.

A few days after she's being rather cold towards me so I ask whats wrong.

She blows up saying that only bad boy friends that dont care get stuffed toy's as gifts and that she didn't understand the "stupid" animation. Now the animation wasn't all complex merely a "I love you" animation which is revealed at the end.

The gift? well I can see where she's coming from but even then she should of known me better than that.

The kicker? she got me nothing for our anniversity. Oh wait thats not true she made me point out a game for her to buy me (which I had to put money towards aswell mind you).

But even still I do love her so I brushed it off and soldiered on.

 

[DP155ToneZone]

My most recent crazy Gf moment was last August on the day of our anniversity.

Now back drop.

I'm terrible at getting gifts but some weeks prior my ladyfriend exclaimed that she wanted a big stuffed animal from the Bear Factory in a half jokey fashion. Now me in my despratation thought I'd just get her one as I couldn't think of anything better. So I did and named it after a character from one of her favourite books.

I also did a animation for her (studying 2d/3d animation at uni) but sadly 3 days before the due date the file got corrupt so I spent many sleepless nights putting it back together. But eventually finished it merely 5 hours before going to meet her.

A few days after she's being rather cold towards me so I ask whats wrong.

She blows up saying that only bad boy friends that dont care get stuffed toy's as gifts and that she didn't understand the "stupid" animation. Now the animation wasn't all complex merely a "I love you" animation which is revealed at the end.

The gift? well I can see where she's coming from but even then she should of known me better than that.

The kicker? she got me nothing for our anniversity. Oh wait thats not true she made me point out a game for her to buy me (which I had to put money towards aswell mind you).

But even still I do love her so I brushed it off and soldiered on.

Dude, did she apologise?

She kinda seems like an arse.

 

[cappoman]

I've dated a few women in my day who were officially crazy,but after reading the above stories I'm comming around to the idea that I've gotten off easy.

There was one situation that comes to mind though:Ex-gf (who wasn't "officially" crazy,BTW) has me over to her house for dinner and a movie. I knew she was going through a bitter separation,but I hadn't been expecting any trouble. The movie date turns into a sleepover,and two things happen that,looking back,harkened the end of the relationship:

1)Her kids came rampaging into the house,all high on sugar.She told me to hide,because she didn't want to get her kids hopes up that I was going to be the new daddy. I roll out of bed and hide under some blankets.

2)Ex-gf's ex-common law partner gets into a shouting match with her on the front lawn accusing her of child endangerment and other things,and how he wants to see me outside right f'ing now or he's comming in. (Oh yeah...He's built like an NFL linebacker,300 lbs,6'2") I stayed put,like I was told. It later occured to me that this could be a sad indicator of future event in the relationship,if I hung around...and then she ended up breaking up with me anyway,over a fight that she got into with somebody else. sad,sad,SAD state of affairs.

 

[Auxiliary]

I had been dating a guy for about a month after getting out of a nearly two year relationship only a few months before. This guy was medically retired due to an incident during his 5 years in the Army, so his life consisted of countless hobbies to fill his day. His biggest obsession was with Dungeons and Dragons. Sometimes I wouldn't talk to him for two days because he would play D&D all night and sleep all day. I felt really neglected most of the time and decided that the relationship was causing more harm than good. When I went to break up with him I told him the reason was because I didn't want to be with someone who was just as happy without me in their life as with me. Instead of attempting to convince me I was wrong about that like I had expected him to do, he paused for ten seconds and then replied "You make an excellent point..." I haven't spoken to him since.

-Erica

I couldn´t stop laughing when I read that one.

 

[Gingerman]

Dude, did she apologise?

She kinda seems like an arse.

Sadly no she didn't, but then again she was under a lot of stress at that moment at time with University and financal problems at home.

Although that doesn't completely excuse her I am willing to let it slide, unless of course she brings it up and I'll be telling her my honest opinion on the matter

 

[Distorted Stu]

Im ex was bipolar. Shit was crazy, scary and funny.

One time i was talking to my mate about some game over a few beers and my gf said i love you in the quietest voice ever so i didnt hear her over the drunken ranting.

I then turned to her and said "can you pass me my drink please". She then started to cry and sat in the corner of my room in a ball, next to my bin. I didnt know what was up, so she told me what happened.

Then she sat up, got back onmy bed and continued listening to us talk whilst smiling as if she never just stormed off into the fetal position near my horrid smelling bin..

WTF

 

[EeveeElectro]

My ex went crazy when we broke up if that counts. He rang me up and staled talking like The Joker from TDK, threatening me and mimicking the laugh. And saying lots of inconsistent things like "I still love you and always will and I want to stay your frien- YOU FUCKING SLAG, MY FAMILY WILL KILL YOU GET YOURSELF FUCKING CHECKED AND GET BACK WITH ME. I'm going to kill myself and overlook the bad things you did..." etc. Very weird.

My current boyfriend isn't crazy. Occasionally he's got it into his head that I'm seeing someone else, but I hardly leave the damn house. It's me who's much more crazier.

 

[FamoFunk]

Mature content ahead, sexually funny story that I find ridiculous.

Spoiler

My girlfriend was giving me a good ol' fashion hj. I hint that maybe she should get it wet. You know, use a mouth. She gets up and runs her hand under a COLD tap. Needless to say I facepalmed.

HAHAHA! That's hilarious!

---------------------------------------------------


An ex-bf of mine, we had been going out for 4 years, but things had been going a bit downhill since we moved in together (after 3 years we moved in)
One day I'd had enough of the shit he was giving me, verbal abuse and crap like that.
I sat him down after going through it with myself all day and told him it was over, he flipped, he punched me, started screaming and crying and slamming his head into the edge of a table until it was covered in blood. I was gob-smacked. Needless to say I still finished with the physco and haven't seen him since (we moved far-ish away and he stayed there - thank god)

 

[wordsmith]

Wow... by some of these, mine's pretty tame.

Went out with a girl when I was about 15, eventually finished with her because she was constantly accusing me of cheating when I wasn't. A couple of hours later, I walk through a doorway at school and she tries to punch me in the side of the head. Being a nice guy I am, I turn the punch away, restrain her, lower her to the floor and tell her "I really wouldn't if I were you. Just stop, alright?". I thought that was the end of it. She runs into a classroom, comes out 30 seconds later with a wall-firing staple gun (designed to fire staples into solid walls from about 10cm away). Next thing I know, I'm running away with staples flying past me. I eventually took a leaf out of her book, ran through a doorway and ducked to the side, then grabbed the staple gun, threw it away and again restrained her. I walked out with the staplegun, put it on the office desk as I left and kept going.

About 3 weeks later, she threatened to jump off a wall that was about 10 feet above a grass playing field. After about 5 minutes, she hadn't done it, so a mate of mine climbed up, flipped off it, then turned around and said "Easy. Your go?"

I haven't seen her since. Gotta love mates

 

[LetalisK]

I'll put my crazy story in the form of tips.

1. If a girl sends you picture texts of her nipples and pussy even before the first date, beware.
2. If the girl starts telling you how she's been a camp counselor, a police officer, a paralegal, and amateur boxer, and many other things, beware.
3. If she likes being choked during sex, beware.
4. Even if you have an non-exclusive, which was the case since it was less than a month we'd been dating, don't go on a date with her AND the other guy she's dating.
5. If she has a bunch of crazy ex boyfriends, you might want to consider what the common denominator is.
6. Don't lend this crazy ***** any money. You will not get it back.

 

[Outright Villainy]

Yeah. She's like the local in-joke in and of herself. Everything she does seems to end up backfiring horribly on her. It's glorious.

Like when she tried to spite me by breaking me and Jordan up and wound up looking like a professional whore in front of her friends. That was a good weekend. haha

lmao sounds like a great weekend. Have someone as crazy as that being made fun of. Divine retribution.

She's not my girlfriend so I don't wanna clog up this thread with stories of her fails, but if you want me to expand upon her repeated failures (or those of other people in my life, they all have lots of them), I'd be happy to over pm. I never tire of telling stories like this.

Hell, send a few my way as well!

I never get tired of the hilarious crazy stories...

[sub]The sad ones here aren't as fun... [/sub]

 

[standokan]

My girlfriend has 7 evil ex...nevermind, I have none, sadly, but I'm only 15, so adventures are still bound to happen... I hope, anyway, the other stories were fun to read, so I'm kinda content.

 

[Anadinolin]

well, probably not crazy, but to me it's friggin mental!

an ex gf a few years ago, desperatly wanted a family, she got so obsessive about it! she paid for me to even get fertility treatment when it was her that caused the infertility (dont ask) and then got pregnant, paid me a large sum of money to stick around because she thought i would run off with another woman (when it was her chansing up suitors...she now works for a cybersex company, suprise) and then after a few months got an abortion and dumped me out of the blue. screwed my head around like the exorcist.

im still not a father, husband or anything like that, i just keep finding girls who cheat or run off or are complete utter biatches.

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

Ok, stay with me here...

My
ex
exgirlfriend's
current boyfriend's
exgirlfriend:

kicked him in the crotch and stabbed him in the leg with a steak knife because he didnt text her for 2 hours.

the scariest kind of clingy.

 

[Palademon]

he punched me, started screaming and crying and slamming his head into the edge of a table until it was covered in blood. I was gob-smacked.

Quite literally.

I don't have any tales like this since I've always been single. But I can come close. The amazing thing is my ability to get crazy out of people I'm failing to start a relationship with.

The only girl I ever asked out made quite clear very simply that she wasn't interested. Which was okay. That was reasonable. Then later when she commented to me over facebook that she doesn't know why I like her because apparently she's "fat". I then listed everything I like about her. She must've found it cute, becuase she then told me what she thinks of me. "Unique, thoughtful, and actually kinda cute". I will remember those words for a long time. She then told me the only reason she won't go out wiht me is we live too far away from eachother, despite going to the same school. That's reasonable, it is quite a gap between us, that takes about an hour by car.

I offered to spend my own money to take trips, then she said she didn't like one sided relationships. I felt that was slightly annoying since that means I'd be the only one trying in this relationship.

The next day, in the morning before class she told me she was seeing somebody. Feeling sad I immediately said "Good for you". She said thank you. Then after a few seconds I asked where he lives. She tries to cover it up with an awkward laughing, and we go to class.

Later I found out purely through rumour of people going aorund that she is going out with a prick who insults everyone then compliments her. I found this out form people who previously would make inappropriate gestures behind the girl's back whenever we talked because they found out I liked her. Actually they didn't find out as much as make a guess, because she was the only girl I felt close to, which is a sad and annoying way to make a guess, when I had never mentioned liking anyone.

Anyway they break up 3 days later, she saying she misses being single. And it takes a while for her to explain anything to me, after setting up times and places to that she then cancelled. And it all came down to "I don't really want a boyfriend, I just felt like doing something unexpected." Great way to end any chance at a relationship and to destory enough respect I had for the only girl I ever felt close to enough to ask out, and have thigns incommon with, to even warrant further friendship. But to avoid her claims that I was just lonely and there weren't many nice girls in the school, I have to try to be friends with her after we've gone to different colleges now. And since we've gone to different colleges, ehr relationship status did change on facebook for abotu an hour enough for her to say "Having a boyfriend feels weird XD".


And the only girls to ever claim feelings for me have been very damaged and on the internet. The only one I believed, was very consistent, had been abused by previous boyfriends etc.
And she is driven to self harm and other things because I could not return feelings to someone I've never seen in their everyday life...Then she has moved on. Screwed it up before I even had a chance.

EDIT: Oh, another girl on the internet who is my friend, liked me and didn't tell me, and moved on, all because I didn't make a move. I only found out when we were discussing her new relaitonship with a guy who will chat up any female.