Critical Miss: Conan the Barbarian

Moonlight Butterfly

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Mar 16, 2011
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haha at Erin's face xD. Also love the use of 'The Quote'. I'm not sure Conan is something that can be carried off seriously in this day and age but we will see.
 

NLS

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Jan 7, 2010
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I remember wathcing the first conan movie. Maybe I should go get the 2nd one.
 

Thaluikhain

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I'm not usually a fan of these, but that was actually kinda funny.

...

I think a Conan movie could work, just not an Arnie type one...the original stories were very different, like a watered down Lovecraft with more muscles and less clothes.
 

K4RN4GE911

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NLS said:
I remember wathcing the first conan movie. Maybe I should go get the 2nd one.
NO GOD!! No God please no, NO!! No!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO-!! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umDr0mPuyQc]
 

RhombusHatesYou

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Mar 21, 2010
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Susan Arendt said:
NLS said:
I remember wathcing the first conan movie. Maybe I should go get the 2nd one.
No. No, no, no. No. Assuming you mean Conan the Destroyer, just....no.
What? Watching Conan the Destroyer is perfect for putting people in an accepting frame of mind for the new movie.

But I doubt the new movie will have anyone half as good at pulling a "I'm shitting a razorblade" face as Mako.
 

rossatdi

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thaluikhain said:
I think a Conan movie could work, just not an Arnie type one...the original stories were very different, like a watered down Lovecraft with more muscles and less clothes.
Not remarkable the similarities since Lovecraft and Robert E Howard were friends who undoubtedly had a major influence on each other.

From the stories I've read it'd be hard to describe anything about the Conan stories as 'watered down' after all, there was far too much pulp in them...

---

The films were something different to the stories but they were both (there I said it) wonderfully silly - something which I am sure will not be replicated by this new, eye shadow wearing incarnation.
 

The_Emperor

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Mar 18, 2010
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my predictions are they will fail, Conan books rock hard, the film will not. AOC was pretty decent but funcom are fail and pretty much did nothing to it, they pretty much ruined the IP.
 

unacomn

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Mar 3, 2008
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Heh, I've got a better one.

To the people in charge of the new Conan movie:

Money pleases you guys, so in order to get mine, grant me one request, grant me a good movie. And if you do not listen, then to hell with you.
 

dimensional

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Jun 13, 2011
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I didnt give a crap about Conan until recently when I decided to give him a chance and read the entire collection of Conan stories by Robert E Howard now im actually looking forward to the film in a way (even though I know its not going to touch the original tales for quality).

I would also like to see a decent offline (or online but free) Conan game because that universe has a such a rich scope for history and while not quite in the same league as Tolkien it would make a nice change.
 

joeman098

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dimensional said:
I would also like to see a decent offline (or online but free) Conan game because that universe has a such a rich scope for history and while not quite in the same league as Tolkien it would make a nice change.
didnt age of conan go free to play?
 

Operations

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Mar 11, 2009
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dimensional said:
I would also like to see a decent offline (or online but free) Conan game because that universe has a such a rich scope for history and while not quite in the same league as Tolkien it would make a nice change.
Age of Conan went free to play recently http://www.ageofconan.com/playfree
 

Togs

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Dec 8, 2010
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To be honest Im psyched about the new one, the ones with Arnie were just pants.
 

dimensional

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Operations said:
dimensional said:
I would also like to see a decent offline (or online but free) Conan game because that universe has a such a rich scope for history and while not quite in the same league as Tolkien it would make a nice change.
Age of Conan went free to play recently http://www.ageofconan.com/playfree
really? ok cheers for the heads up I will check it out as long as my crappy pc can run it.
 

Sovvolf

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Mar 23, 2009
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Susan Arendt said:
NLS said:
I remember wathcing the first conan movie. Maybe I should go get the 2nd one.
No. No, no, no. No. Assuming you mean Conan the Destroyer, just....no.
Isn't that the one where Conan fights the mirror monster? if so DO,... NOT,... SEE,... IT seriously, my lord is that one bad. Conan in the first film (played by Arnie) had to good sense to keep his mouth closed for a good amount of it (seriously, he doesn't speak all that much in that movie) however in the sequel, he won't shut up, he as a plucky (read annoying) side kick and... and... its just awful.
 

Susan Arendt

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Jan 9, 2007
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Sovvolf said:
Susan Arendt said:
NLS said:
I remember wathcing the first conan movie. Maybe I should go get the 2nd one.
No. No, no, no. No. Assuming you mean Conan the Destroyer, just....no.
Isn't that the one where Conan fights the mirror monster? if so DO,... NOT,... SEE,... IT seriously, my lord is that one bad. Conan in the first film (played by Arnie) had to good sense to keep his mouth closed for a good amount of it (seriously, he doesn't speak all that much in that movie) however in the sequel, he won't shut up, he as a plucky (read annoying) side kick and... and... its just awful.
Truth. When Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is one of the leads in the film, you know it's not going to be good.

That said, it does, at least, have some decent eye candy. It's pretty to look at in places.