Critical Miss: The Douche King

[geizr]

snip

This argument comes up every time I take the piss out of things people like. "There's other obnoxious ads, why don't I attack ALL OF THE ADS?" Simple, because I have roughly 8 panels and 400 words a week in which to do my job. So I pick whatever's bugged me recently and, most importantly, I pick something the audience will recognize.

Trust me, I could write pages on the Ferrero Roche ads or, rant about this this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DvbO6-k_SM], and why everyone involved in its creation deserves to be shipped off to a gulag somewhere, but people can only take so much vitriol before it gets tiresome.

Funny you should bring up Jeans ads though. Levis has had some fantastic ads through the years.

It wasn't you, specifically; it was the subsequent commenters that raised my ire. I have no problem with your lampooning of Apple's ads. Personally, I find they're only good for entertainment purposes only(also what ad these days doesn't give the impression that the company thinks its customers are a bunch of twats?). My specific problem came with the comments of posters afterwards with the broad-brush ad hominem attacks. It's just I'm tired of seeing such constant, unfounded accusations all over the web. Sure, there are douche-bag Apple users. There are also douche-bag PC, Android, Linux, Unix, etc. users. Sure there are idiot Apple users. There are also idiot PC, Android, Linux, Unix, etc. users. It's the constant insinuation that somehow douche-baggery and idiocy are exclusive and isolated to Apple users or that only in the community of Apple users is it of greatest percentage, without at least even a shred of evidence to support such accusations, that has my hackles up.

I've seen many IT professionals who have far more technical experience and savvy than the collection of these accusers put together switch to Apple products simply because they got tired of the way other products worked, and they didn't look back. These are brilliant people who have been in IT for 15-20 years. Of course, I'm sure there have been some long standing Apple users that have decided to switch away from Apple for the same reasons. It goes both ways. But, yet, it is specifically the Apple user that gets broad-stoked as being the idiot that has no idea about computers(can't tell you how many Windows gamers I've run into that didn't no know more than how to turn on the machine and boot their favorite game).

Hate the company, hate the ads, hate the products; that's all good, but don't hate the people. Everyone's different and has their own reasons for what they choose in devices. That's all I'm getting at. We're all human, at least I hope we all are.

 

[thisbymaster]

Another brick in the WALL 'O TEXT

My hatred of mac people is because of people like this. It isn't a sterotype, this is how it is. People that buy Mac products because of status, not for what it can do for them or any useful reason.

I have them at my work and even the higher ups in the company keep wanting to use iPads and iPhones no matter how much of a failure they are to develop for, or how little punishment they can take.

 

[LobsterFeng]

I don't get it. Jogging makes you a douche?

 

[Shanecooper]

Maybe that's why I have little to no disdain for apple products. I've only ever seen one add for Apple and that was when I went looking for it.

 

[geizr]

Another brick in the WALL 'O TEXT

My hatred of mac people is because of people like this. It isn't a sterotype, this is how it is. People that buy Mac products because of status, not for what it can do for them or any useful reason.

I have them at my work and even the higher ups in the company keep wanting to use iPads and iPhones no matter how much of a failure they are to develop for, or how little punishment they can take.

Is this any different how people in the outside world think of us as gamers? It is fair then for them to use such a broad brush to characterize all gamers based on a few, or is it only Apple users that garner exemption to be stereotyped(and, yes, it is stereotyping) based on such experiences? If I were to say all gamers are loser morons who are just addicted to their games based on my experience with just a few, would you not be upset, knowing that it is an unfair generalization? How is it then okay to make such a generalization about all Apple users and then justify it by insinuating that it is factually true of all Apple users?

This is what perturbs me as an Apple user, myself. Generalizing other people is bad, but generalizing Apple users is okay. I see this kind of stereotyping in numerous places, but never do I see it so concentrated as I do on gaming forums. Even some hardcore tech sites don't go to the extremes of hatred that I find on gaming sites.

 

[ravensshade]

Apple's entire design philosophy seems to be:

"You're better than everyone else. Stuff it in their face while paying us to allow you to do it."

Microshaft may be a vile, money-grabbing parasite, but at least they don't pretend not to be.

Of course: Siri isn't completely foolproof: http://shitsirisays.com/

thanks root i needed my daily dose of dying from laughter

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

What I do have a problem with is the constant conceited, unfounded, judgmental ad hominem attacks against those of us who do buy and use Apple products. What pisses me off the most is that these attacks are often baseless and hypocritical.

Two things here:
1) "constant conceited, unfounded, judgmental ad hominem attacks against those of us" : 4 people on page 1 rampantly defend Apple products. Scrumpmonkey is the only one who attacks a portion of Apple users, and defines exactly the sort of people he's attacking as their fanbase - not their userbase.
2) "us" - You deliberately associate yourself with the people in this advert.

You then take up a wall of text saying how you're so badly treated because of your platform of choice, despite it being incredibly expensive (provable), failing to match the competitors (provable) and marketed as "You're the best, you deserve the best" (provable).

So, those attacks really aren't there, unless you draw them in on yourself.

Everyone else is attacking the advertisers. As is often the case.

thanks root i needed my daily dose of dying from laughter

I try my best

Even some hardcore tech sites don't go to the extremes of hatred that I find on gaming sites.

Go on a Celtic site and say "Rangers are the best". See how long you last.

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

It's still not as bad as the '1984' ad. That's the one that makes me feel retroactively bad for every Apple product I've ever bought.

Also, congrats to Grey and Cory on now being billed just below Zero Punctuation on the site.

 

[AbstractStream]

Dammit, now I got that song stuck in my head.

 

[Lvl 64 Klutz]

I didn't think the Siri ads were even nearly half as offensive as the "The iPad 2 is going to CHANGE MANKIND FOREVER!!" ads. Really, Apple, really? Nothing will ever be the same now that you've launched the second version of a product that has existed in one form or another for at least four years?

 

[Lvl 64 Klutz]

EDIT: Ah, Escapist. How I love you for your flaws.

 

[mastiffchild]

Well, I think the thing about Apple(and the over zealous fanboys they attract who, certainly, make a lot of people wary of ALL Mac users)and their lifestyle products is that they have nothing to sell them BUT style over content and people who choose dorm over function and fluff over value have always annoyed the every day populace who DO buy their stuff based more on value.

I can see a reason for people buying both Mac and/or PC(used both myself and for some things a Mac is preferable to me-esp for some of my work)but I see little reason beyond fashion, fad or fitting in for buying iPads, iPods or iPhones. every one of their lifestyle products is totally overpriced AND, compared to rival, better made and better equipped products also under performing. Unless you place a premium on a particular(and, imo, tired) design ethos just why would you choose an iPhone over a lower priced and better peforing Android from anyone else? In MP3/4 players the price and performance thing is even worse and always has been. Until Apple make their stuff worth it's price in terms of performance then of course people will wonder whether those buying it are either following the herd and buying status rather than buying in an informed way(and presuming some buy because it makes them feel they're showing how well they're doing financially is a sure part of this)and much of the advertising plays into this making non Apple people find it harder and harder to see any other reason why you WOULD buy into the Apple lifestyle schtick.

Personally, I HAVE an iPhone as, stupidly, I hoped it would mean I'd end up carrying fewer things about but as, and this goes for all phones even today, it isn't a gaming machine of any depth or feel at all, but worse-it's not a great phone or MP3/Video solution and remains a dearer way of doing all the things I'd hoped it was capable of doing well and only does to a pretty average standard and way short, in most cases, of specialist items AND all rounders bought elsewhere. I feel like I bought something which, outside of being an Apple design, is an inferior bit of tech and as a result all my iPod feelings were rekindled-and they've never been great outside of their design and branding.

So, and I think it's pretty fair and not that similar to console fanboys(as at least the exclusives offer a reason for a kind of loyalty based on preference that can't be quantified by performance alone), I think some people have a point in wondering exactly why someone would buy into the Apple lifestyle range these days and as a result some not-too-complimentary conclusions are being drawn because to some of us it's hard to grasp how an Apple product is better than it's competition or anything like value-unless there's some, non value, non tech performance. Apple would not be alone in selling their products on the basis of an intangible like status and because many believe that's why people DO buy Apple products then those buying them will forever be wondered about over their reason FOR buying them.

 

[Use_Imagination_here]

What exactly was wrong with the commercial? It introduced the features of the product, nothing more, nothing less. I think your just looking for blame where there is none thanks to the oh-my-god-I'm-going-to-strangle-steve-jobbs inducing "I'm a mac" commercials.

But this is just regular ad.

 

[ravensshade]

Go on a Celtic site and say "Rangers are the best". See how long you last.

but it's true

 

[Panayjon]

Like some of the others in this thread, I didn't really find anything smug or douchey about the actual ad... but I still laughed at the last panel, so its all good.

Also, I find it horrifying to be reminded of what its like to browse an internet forum. I'm having god damn PTSD flashbacks to /v/

 

[Lordmarkus]

Their marketing apeals to their proto-human fanbase who breakdown into three types;

1. "More-money-than-sense Douchebags". Affluent, usually mid 20s to late 30s types who want show off how much better they already are than you by buying the most overpriced peices of flashy-junk they can get their hands on.

2. "Aspiring douchebags"; people who have to save up (or more likely mooch of their perants) to keep up with their stlye-tech fetish. They will buy into the fact that simply owning these poducts enhances their lives and makes them better than other people.

3. "Connoisseur douchebags"; These typically own high priced Macs or entire product ranges and like to advertise that fact, they like to gleefully tell you how their macs could never crash. Ever. And it is utterly impossible for a mac to ever get a virus or suffer from slowdown. They use sudo-tech 'knowlege' gleaned from Apple marketing and apple blogs. Their smugness is the most entrenched, they define themselves by how much better their taste in tech is than yours. "It just works" they will tell you. "It just does".

Is there a category for people like me that see Apple for all their faults but still like their products? Or is that impossible?

That guy is so much douche, you could probably hear him from a mile away

But today it's Siri, tomorrow it's SHODAN

Imagines Siri speaking like Shodan, or even better, Sovereign. Nerdgasm.

 

[JFrog84]

while slightly off kilter elevator music plays in the background

What?! Thats Ray Charles dammit, you take that back!

OT: you make a good point about the rest of it.

 

[Lordmarkus]

Their marketing apeals to their proto-human fanbase who breakdown into three types;

Spoiler

1. "More-money-than-sense Douchebags". Affluent, usually mid 20s to late 30s types who want show off how much better they already are than you by buying the most overpriced peices of flashy-junk they can get their hands on.

2. "Aspiring douchebags"; people who have to save up (or more likely mooch of their perants) to keep up with their stlye-tech fetish. They will buy into the fact that simply owning these poducts enhances their lives and makes them better than other people.

3. "Connoisseur douchebags"; These typically own high priced Macs or entire product ranges and like to advertise that fact, they like to gleefully tell you how their macs could never crash. Ever. And it is utterly impossible for a mac to ever get a virus or suffer from slowdown. They use sudo-tech 'knowlege' gleaned from Apple marketing and apple blogs. Their smugness is the most entrenched, they define themselves by how much better their taste in tech is than yours. "It just works" they will tell you. "It just does".

Is there a category for people like me that see Apple for all their faults but still like their products? Or is that impossible?

To be honest my wholey missguided rage is aimed more the people who would consider themselves REAL fans of Apple, the kind of people who partake in what can only be described as i-Evangelism. You know the type of person who would lecture you on why you should buy a mac or how the i-pad has changed the world more than anything in the last century. Those slightly creepy clut-like followers of every scap of apple news who would gladly attend the even greater creep-fest that is the opening of a new apple store with people lining up to high-five their choice of purchase like they are doing something REALLY meaningful.

I don't have a problem with the average user, Apple products are pretty ubiquitous and owning one dosen'r automatically turn you into a doe-eyed fan-tard. I mean its almost as bad as people who project their issues onto groups for liking things and rant about it on the internet. Those people are the real douces, i mean look at this guy with his Hunter Thompson Avatar and dissmissive, slightly superiour hatred of everything popular. He's even making a meta-point and talking in third person about himself. What a douce.

Indeed. As stated above, I like Apples products. I have been an avid Mac user since 2004 and I've went through 3 iPods since 2005. I love the simplicity of Apple's products, the way you seem to get how to function the devices almost immediately and their sleek aluminium design. However I'm not blind. Taking 2000 ? for a computer with shit specs just because it has an Apple in front of your desktop is absurd. I couldn't for my life see the iPad taking off, more less be such a smash-hit. I see it as an expensive toy made for browsing the web and watching pictures. Face-Time wasn't a fucking revolution and the lack of noise around it evidently means that not even Apple could rebrand 5-year old technology and make it relevant. It's absurd that it took them 4 years and 5 iterations of iOS to map one of the volume buttons into a camera button. And if I ever hear about another tard camping for 10 days outside an Apple store for the new iPhone and claims that it is dedicated
"4 Steve" I swear I will have an anger seizure.