CSI Set to Take on Hackers with CSI: Cyber

MovieBob

New member
Dec 31, 2008
11,495
0
0
CSI Set to Take on Hackers with CSI: Cyber

This spring, CSI will tackle cyber-crime with CSI: Cyber.

Read Full Article
 

Adam Jensen_v1legacy

I never asked for this
Sep 8, 2011
6,651
0
0
I'm gonna hate this, I know it. CSI shows are shit. The Las Vegas one was kinda cool the first couple of seasons.
 

Queen Michael

has read 4,010 manga books
Jun 9, 2009
10,400
0
0
I'm going to have a drink every time this shows does something stupid.

Non-alcoholic, of course. I don't want to die of alcohol poisoning.
 

medv4380

The Crazy One
Feb 26, 2010
671
0
21
I can't get past the title. CSI: Cyber? I know I'm old, and it's become sexting, but cyber by itself is usually a sexual context. CSI: Cyber sounds like internet porn.
 

Ne1butme

New member
Nov 16, 2009
491
0
0
In my head, I'm counting down until the first time someone tells a tech to 'enhance or clear up' a photo. The show can take two routes. One, the tech uses computer-magic to make a blurry photograph clear. Or the tech says 'um, that really doesn't work like it does in the movies'. If the show takes the latter route, then it has a chance.
 

Adept Mechanicus

New member
Oct 14, 2012
148
0
0
This is probably the most surreal plot summary I've ever read of something that isn't supposed to be surreal. Also, I'll be very disappointed if nobody on this show ever says, "Hack the Gibson."
 

kailus13

Soon
Mar 3, 2013
4,568
0
0
And here I was thinking they couldn't do worse than the CSI:New York episode featuring Second Life.
 

Izanagi009_v1legacy

Anime Nerds Unite
Apr 25, 2013
1,460
0
0
Oh dear god, this is going to end stupidly

The issue with any police procedural is that the procedure eventually gets boring and repetitive; there is only so many times we can "enhance images", "analyze fibers" or anything else so they focus on extreme and absurd crimes. That can eventually get to the point of complete stupid and we lose all tension or suspension of disbelief.

This occurred with a show I actually liked, Criminal Minds. Before the concept was exploring crimes stemming from psychological pathologies but the last time I left, the crimes are getting more insane, the "conditions" of each of the killers more outrageous and generally all fear and tension is gone because what i'm seeing is not an actual man with severe mental issues but a parody of those type of people.

Edit: I think I know what my response to show will be
 

XMark

New member
Jan 25, 2010
1,408
0
0
I want to find out more about this show so I'm gonna make a GUI interface in Visual Basic to trace the show writers' IP addresses, and send a cyber-spike into their firewalls to decrypt their passwords to steal the scripts, which I should be able to read after zooming and enhancing while typing very quickly.
 

Izanagi009_v1legacy

Anime Nerds Unite
Apr 25, 2013
1,460
0
0
XMark said:
I want to find out more about this show so I'm gonna make a GUI interface in Visual Basic to trace the show writers' IP addresses, and send a cyber-spike into their firewalls to decrypt their passwords to steal the scripts, which I should be able to read after zooming and enhancing while typing very quickly.
I don't know if I should laugh or cringe because from what little computing stuff i know, that statement was completely stupid but it also sounds like something the show would do.
 

Ruisu

Enjoy the Silence
Jul 11, 2013
190
0
0
By the end of this column I was half expecting a sin count to pop up.
 

stringtheory

New member
Dec 18, 2011
89
0
0
Izanagi009 said:
XMark said:
I want to find out more about this show so I'm gonna make a GUI interface in Visual Basic to trace the show writers' IP addresses, and send a cyber-spike into their firewalls to decrypt their passwords to steal the scripts, which I should be able to read after zooming and enhancing while typing very quickly.
I don't know if I should laugh or cringe because from what little computing stuff i know, that statement was completely stupid but it also sounds like something the show would do.
They actually did it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkDD03yeLnU
 

Izanagi009_v1legacy

Anime Nerds Unite
Apr 25, 2013
1,460
0
0
stringtheory said:
Izanagi009 said:
XMark said:
I want to find out more about this show so I'm gonna make a GUI interface in Visual Basic to trace the show writers' IP addresses, and send a cyber-spike into their firewalls to decrypt their passwords to steal the scripts, which I should be able to read after zooming and enhancing while typing very quickly.
I don't know if I should laugh or cringe because from what little computing stuff i know, that statement was completely stupid but it also sounds like something the show would do.
They actually did do it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkDD03yeLnU
I can't even, what the hell, i, i i

 

Sanunes

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2011
626
0
21
XMark said:
I want to find out more about this show so I'm gonna make a GUI interface in Visual Basic to trace the show writers' IP addresses, and send a cyber-spike into their firewalls to decrypt their passwords to steal the scripts, which I should be able to read after zooming and enhancing while typing very quickly.
Yeah, if they do anything like this its going to cause me to stop watching the show. When the two CSI shows that ended started to pull the "technobabble" while trying to sound smart I gave up. One of my biggest pet peeves is when a show uses an improper IP address I get not wanting to use a real address, but just use a private 192.168. or 10. network and I would be happy for I don't want to see a 256+ number included.

I guess it just frustrates me a lot when you hear the writers talk about how they have all these former police officers to act as consultants, but they can't be bothered to find out some of the minor stuff about computers.

Edit:

I can live with the graphics being "flashy" to get their story along, even greatly accelerating the timeline, its getting the basics wrong feels like they aren't even trying. Its like having a surgeon preforming an operation with a "knife" instead of scalpel while in an operating room.
 

RaikuFA

New member
Jun 12, 2009
4,370
0
0
I expect this to fail. All the crappy writers get on the spinoffs and after Miami's "Stoned Cold"* I have no hope for any CSI spinoff.

*Stoned Cold was absolute shit when it came to CSI. It is also very trigger happy with bully victims. The victim was a **** that drove a kid to try and kill themselves when she stole his clothes and made him walk around the school naked. Or pretty much commited rape when she told a girl that she'd stop bullying her if she had sex with a guy at a party then proceeded to slut shame her in front of everyone at the party. And she even told the principal "if I ever get in trouble, I'll say you molested me." And yet the whole episode it trys painting her as this sweet innocent girl that couldn't have done any of it.

Want a good episode about bullying on CSI? Watch the Vegas ep "Bully for You" or "Unleashed". Formers a season 2 ep while the latter is a season 10 one.
 

Alpha Maeko

Uh oh, better get Maeko!
Apr 14, 2010
573
0
0
Let's just hope we don't get double-hacked.

Might need to use four hands on that keyboard instead of two. You never know.
 

hermes

New member
Mar 2, 2009
3,865
0
0
CSI has been stupid for years, but this sounds like a new low. I don't think I have seen more technobabble and fictional red flags in a single place in, ever. This is so bad, I don't think anyone could ever parody it without sounding like the plot of an unaired episode.

And I thought NCIS was terrible, but this. And, just for reference, NCIS is the show that gave us this:

And yes, I can be nitpicky about technology, and I understand that "flashy" is required to engage a TV audience but, at this point, its like they are not even trying. We are in 2014, and some of these things sound so basic they make the entire thing sound like a comedy, or a really crappy B-movie. Its the equivalent on someone arguing that the killer is Frankenstein's monster because there was a storm last week.
 

Sylocat

Sci-Fi & Shakespeare
Nov 13, 2007
2,122
0
0
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand the CSI franchise continues to make Law & Order look like The Wire by comparison.