Customers Suck: Re-tales

[ace_of_something]

Recently the Sheriff and county board said ?NO MOAR OVAHTIIIME!? But this isn?t about that. My dumb ass bought a [a href=http://www.indianmotorcycle.com/index.php?submenu=Chief_Bomber&src=gendocs&ref=Chief%20Bomber%20Features&category=Motorcycles] Motorcycle [/a] that I couldn?t afford without the additional income of overtime. (PS kids don?t EVER do that, I?m so very dumb) Not wanting to part with my precious ride I decided to get a part time job until the overtime fairy returns or my Bomber is paid off at a [a href=httt://www.lowes.com]certain hardware store[/a] that Americans and soon Aussies should be familiar with.
I gotta say; Fuck retail.
Fuck it long and fuck it hard. I haven?t worked retail in like 10 years and must?ve romanticized it in my head as being ?simpler days.? People are rude and brutish over the most minor of things. I?m a cop/detective and I am spoken to worse at this store than there. People also have no respect for anything. I?ve seen customers snap product in half and throw it on the floor. Or this? this?
[HEADING=2]It all happened on sunday[/HEADING]
it's just one of those things i think, where you'll go your whole life not knowing "why" I had a customer complain that ?Your second stall in the men?s room is disgusting, someone has no human decency?
Curious?
I go to investigate and find a true bundle of joy.
It was a white adult sized T-shirt covered in fecal stains, and looked as if it?d been used to wipe up urine. So, I got a haz-mat kit and disposed of it according to standard operation figuring ?I worked at a jail I?ve seen worse?
In case you were wondering that was plenty of toilet paper. I doubt they poo?d there pants because it was a T-Shirt? So I have no idea why this person would've done that.

On a weird note I went and bought gummi worms shortly thereafter, figure that one out Sigmund Freud.

[HEADING=1]What are your Re-Tales?[/HEADING]
(Or fast-food or whatever really)

 

[Katana314]

There are quite a few quotations of customer-interaction at the website "notalwaysright.org".
(I'm gonna avoid linking so it's not as much of an ad; if you're very interested, copy-paste it)

I was kinda lucky; I worked at a helpdesk at a college, and while we occasionally got some idiot callers (my ISP is internet explorer / google / etc) very few people were outright mean to us without having a good reason.

 

[ace_of_something]

There are quite a few quotations of customer-interaction at the website "notalwaysright.org".
(I'm gonna avoid linking so it's not as much of an ad; if you're very interested, copy-paste it)

Neat. I figured there was something like this in existence. I now find myself wondering what the average occupation of an escapist is. I guess I just assumed since the median age is like 20 years old most people probably worked in retail or fast-food etc.

 

[BenzSmoke]

Re-tales... I see what you did there.

Here's a story for you. [http://i.imgur.com/aeYLQ.png] It didn't happen to me & I'm not sure how true it is. However it is awesome.

 

[staika]

I don't have any stories of the customers from hell but I've dealt with a lot of shit in my one year of working at my dad's friend's beer distributor. To put some of this into perspective when I work I work alone at this place and I usually take over for my boss' wife and she usually brings her dog Zeke when shes there. The building itself is a small building and the front has two coolers which holds the beer and the back has a small office and next to it is a storage area where we keep excess beer and the ice machine.

So one day I get the call that one of my co-workers is going to be late for his shift and I get to go and work for about an hour. So everything is normal for awhile but then I hear what I think is flapping but a customer came in so I just ignored it. As I walk back into the office there flying around the office is a pigeon. Now this thing was flying around messing all our stuff up, I was about to call my boss but I already knew what he was going to say so I was trying to think of a way to make it fly outside but the only way is through the front door. So after thinking for awhile I said "fuck it" and I captured the pigeon with my bare hands. What I did was I cornered it then when it tried to fly past me I plucked it right out of the air with my bare hands. after letting the pigeon go outside I went back inside and I get the call 3 seconds later "Hey (my name) it seems (co-worker) got pulled over while speeding and he was driving with a suspended license so your going to have to stay there for the rest of the night." I wasn't happy about that since I had plans that night too.

I have a few more if you want I can tell some of em but this was my most exciting moment so the other ones might not be as exciting.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

well as of this spring i work in the fraud/card department, and we are 3rd party so we do it for hundreds (maybe thousands of banks/credit unions) and i get some of the most ignorant pissed off people who call in so pissed off and angry at the whole damn world, it makes my job 1000000x worse, especially based on the fact that everything we say and do is recorded so i can't tell someone to fuck off every once in a while.. -_-


mine are over the phone but i think they can count in this...

I had a customer call in about fraud and there being a block on his card, so on our system i pull up the software, and explain to him that since we didn't give him a call about it i would need his 16 digit card number to find it in the system, in which he REFUSED to give it to me saying things like "why the hell do you need that? you phishin for my card number? you gonna try and use it? I'll sue your ass *****." and then i go on to explain that we are external security and we look up accounts by the card number, in which he soon replied "that's a load of horseshit, i'm heavily offended by that, you can't just look it up since i called?" *facepalm moment* i explained that due to security we have to make sure no one can phish for information by calling in pretending to be him, so i finally got the card number out of him and i looked up the card number in which nothing fraudulent was coming up in the system, in which i asked him to verify his name to make sure i had the correct account in which we did, so i got in touch with my supervisor to see what the scoop might be on why he was transferred to us in this case, in which we determined the bank was being stupid and rerouting all calls to us for no reason at all, in which i went back, explained to the guy step by step what had happened and that we don't have any activity on his account so I can't help him as we aren't directly the bank,in which i GAVE HIM the direct number he needed to call to get it figure out, and at that moment he immediately proceeded to go into the biggest rage of slamming the phone on the table and screaming for my supervisor so i got my supervisor and the customer raged on him for a solid 15 minutes before my supervisor told him to have a nice day and hung up.


and usually it's not that bad..but a good 2 out of every 5 calls the person is either the most illogical piece of shit on the planet or they are extremely rude

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

I don't have any stories of the customers from hell but I've dealt with a lot of shit in my one year of working at my dad's friend's beer distributor. To put some of this into perspective when I work I work alone at this place and I usually take over for my boss' wife and she usually brings her dog Zeke when shes there. The building itself is a small building and the front has two coolers which holds the beer and the back has a small office and next to it is a storage area where we keep excess beer and the ice machine.

So one day I get the call that one of my co-workers is going to be late for his shift and I get to go and work for about an hour. So everything is normal for awhile but then I hear what I think is flapping but a customer came in so I just ignored it. As I walk back into the office there flying around the office is a pigeon. Now this thing was flying around messing all our stuff up, I was about to call my boss but I already knew what he was going to say so I was trying to think of a way to make it fly outside but the only way is through the front door. So after thinking for awhile I said "fuck it" and I captured the pigeon with my bare hands. What I did was I cornered it then when it tried to fly past me I plucked it right out of the air with my bare hands. after letting the pigeon go outside I went back inside and I get the call 3 seconds later "Hey (my name) it seems (co-worker) got pulled over while speeding and he was driving with a suspended license so your going to have to stay there for the rest of the night." I wasn't happy about that since I had plans that night too.

I have a few more if you want I can tell some of em but this was my most exciting moment so the other ones might not be as exciting.

shitty day is shitty, but what a fucking boss on that pigeon catch, kudos to you for that

 

[subtlefuge]

I'm sorry, but I'm out of stories right now. We'd be glad to order some or let you know when they come in.

Are you sure? Did you check the back?

I'm not sure what you think is back there, but we aren't hiding stuff.

Could you just check?

Of course.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I was a prep-cook at Pizza Hut. I usually don't deal with customers but one time[footnote]The guy at the till I guess went out for a smoke break, I dunno.[/footnote] an irate customer stormed into the kitchen, through the back of the counter and around to the next room. He demanded the Pizza as he was in a rush to get to his kids birthday party or something. I had put the Pizza in the oven already and it was still going to take five or so minutes. He hung around watching me work on other orders, asking if there was anything else I could do to speed it up.

He was really getting on my nerves but thankfully the manager, who had been sorting the new inventory in the back, finally heard the commotion and escorted the guy out of my face. The nerve of some people. If you're going to promise your kid Pizza for his birthday before a tight scheduled trip to the movies or something just order the damn Pizza ahead of time.

 

[JJMUG]

I was a prep-cook at Pizza Hut. I usually don't deal with customers but one time[footnote]The guy at the till I guess went out for a smoke break, I dunno.[/footnote] an irate customer stormed into the kitchen, through the back of the counter and around to the next room. He demanded the Pizza as he was in a rush to get to his kids birthday party or something. I had put the Pizza in the oven already and it was still going to take five or so minutes. He hung around watching me work on other orders, asking if there was anything else I could do to speed it up.

He was really getting on my nerves but thankfully the manager, who had been sorting the new inventory in the back, finally heard the commotion and escorted the guy out of my face. The nerve of some people. If you're going to promise your kid Pizza for his birthday before a tight scheduled trip to the movies or something just order the damn Pizza ahead of time.

Happens all the time where i work, or people will not order in and then expect us to hand them there order as son as they pay for it. They cock this bad attitude because i takes time to cook stuff.

I even get people who come to Buffalo, order Buffalo Wings then Tell me that is not how you make them. The say out west this is how we do them. I just want to tell them Newsflash Your in Buffalo New York, this is how they are made.

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

Well I don't have any tales of my own, having never worked in retail but I know where you can find plenty of good ones:

http://www.actsofgord.com/

Love the Gord. Fear the Gord.

Spoiler: One such example

"So what's wrong with your PlayStation?"

"Well, it was working one day, and then today it wasn't. Could you fix it?"

"I guess I can take a look at it."

"Can you do that right now?"

"uhm, sure, I guess."

Gord opens the PlayStation up.

"Well, there is your problem. A retarded monkey with a soldering iron tried to put in a mod chip. I'd like to say I've seen a worse soldering job, but I'd be lying. Usually soldering doesn't cover an entire chip in solder."

"Uhm? I didn't do that."

"I never said you did. I blamed a retarded monkey."

"So how did that happen?"

"A retarded monkey with a soldering iron."

"But it just stopped working."

"Do I look like the morality police? I can install a new motherboard for you. I've got them in stock."

"Could you also chip it for me?"

"I asked do I look like the morality police, not do I look like an idiot."

 

[Lilani]

Re-tales... I see what you did there.

Here's a story for you. [http://i.imgur.com/aeYLQ.png] It didn't happen to me & I'm not sure how true it is. However it is awesome.

Holy shit on a stick. I want to meet this man and shake his hand.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Re-tales... I see what you did there.

Here's a story for you. [http://i.imgur.com/aeYLQ.png] It didn't happen to me & I'm not sure how true it is. However it is awesome.

That is just too many kinds of awesome. Too bad I've never had a regular like that...

...well, there was a morbidly obese man who used to come in about once a month when I worked as a host in a hibachi restaurant. Cool guy; we would just shoot the shit when he had to wait on a table to open up. Mostly tech and politics.

I work retail currently though...well...I was working retail and am now waiting for my transfer to go through. In my time though nothing too eventful happened despite me working at both Blockbuster and Gamestop. I miss Blockbuster but am glad to be rid of Gamestop.

 

[Sonic Doctor]

Let's see, I really only have one strange little thing that happened when I worked night stock at a grocery store.

One of our cashiers, she had to prevent a guy on a white moped from riding into the store. The guy said he was Jesus and he was there to save us all.

I hated working there, so I was thinking, "If only you were buddy, if only you were."

Other than that, I find it odd on how many old people are up at such crazy hours. The majority of the people that were shopping at around 2am to 4am, were between 65 and 80 years old.