D&D(or any other pnp game really) stories

The_Lost_King

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Well, I haven't seen one of these in a while and now I actually have stories that I want to share so yeah, I'm making this thread.

In one of my friends campaigns I had to be the unluckiest person after the 3rd session. 4th session I ended unconscious. 5th session ended with me unconscious(by being sneak attack by a rogue with a fucking bastard sword). the 6th session ended with us being stranded in the wilderness with me turned to stone. I made a new character just incase my friends would ditch me in the wilderness, but then my dm fucking told my other friends that I did that so that sealed my fate. 7th session opens up the chaotic/evil fighter decaptitates my stone body. Our rogue(Neutral Good) storms out of the camp and then gets killed by a bear.

In a different campaign we were playing and looting a ransacked caravan, while some people we finishing character sheets and my friend was about to look inside a body sized container(which was actually how the dm described it before the next event happens)and one person finishes before the dm says what's in the box and the dm immediately says you find this guy(pointing to the guy who just finished his character sheet) and the guy says. "Hi. I'm Steven." and my friens immediately closes the box.

I have more but I have to got to bed. If you want to hear the long drawn out version of the fist story just ask(I was writing it out and realized it was way too long)
 

FrozenLaughs

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Are we sharing terrible runs of bad luck in D&D? Hmmm.. I've never had a run of it, persay...

I encountered a young Dragon while scouting ahead in a cave with darkvision once. Was super proud I single handedly killed it (as the character, who was 5th level or so) and called in the rest if the group.

When the lights came on we discovered it was a *Silver* dragon, and a very young one at that (hence soloing it) my character knowing nothing of dragons, especially how to identify them in the dark... Was trying to explain to the group and then mommy showed up, and found her baby. 6 of us rolled new characters that night.


Another time, my completely uneducated-in-magic fighter decided to break up the fight between the 2 wizards in the group arguing over the staff we had all just found in the loot pile at the back of the cave...



... By breaking the *Staff of Power* over his knee to end the argument. (seriously, it was like an hour of table time) 6 of us rolled new characters that night too.
 

Comic Sans

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In one of my recent Pathfinder sessions my group had decided to assault the bar where one of the local gangs was based at. They had attacked us a few times, and after we learned their location and the building layout we decided to take them down to get them to back off. We went to the building with two rogues, a priest, a fighter, pistolero, and a barbarian/oracle (speccing for rage prophet). The plan was simple. It seemed the bartender was in charge so we wanted to capture him. The fighter and prophet faked a fight out front with the priest egging them on. The pistolero was a Kitsune so he used his disguise talents to infiltrate the bar to try and get the gang members inside to go watch the fight away from the bar counter. Meanwhile, myself and the other Rogue went to a broken window to pry off the boards and sneak in the back. However, things went a little south fast.

At the start, most of us rolled horribly. The guys fighting out front rolled horribly on their Performance checks, meaning they actually hurt each other in the fake brawl, and several of the guys inside lost interest fast given how lame the bout was. I failed at the Strength check to pry the 3 boards no less than 8 times. Which was hard to do, given my Rogue has 18 Strength. I was lucky enough to at least roll really high stealth checks, so I managed to fail quietly. Eventually I got the boards off and rolled in with the other Rogue behind me. The third wrinkle was an unknown factor in the bar. Sitting in a corner was a man too well dressed to be one of the standard gang members, who was pretending to read a newspaper while actually scanning the bar. The pistolero asked questions about him to the bartender, who played dumb and started to get suspicious. He tries to get closer to him, but while he wasn't looking the man pulled out a flute and played it. The pistolero failed his Will save and was caught in an entrancement spell. I decide that this is a decent distraction and begin to move directly behind the counter. I rolled like 29 Stealth and was feeling like a boss. That came crashing down when the DM told me to roll Perception, and I noticed that the guy with the flute was looking right at me. He stomped with metal heeled boots 3 times which caught the attention of the bar and caused them to all stop watching the fight and start looking around. Then the shit REALLY hit the fan.

Seeing that the distraction was no longer working like they wanted, the guys outside spring an attack on the gang members outside. There are 4 thugs outside, meaning they have a fair fight. Inside is a bit worse. There are 7 Thugs and the bard, and one of us 3 in there is under a spell and can't do anything. Thankfully, we all roll high initiative. Our other Rogue gets to go first, and I recommend that he either throw daggers at the bard to break his concentration and free our pistolero, or hold his action, since I go second and he can knock out the bartender if I get a bad roll. Instead, he decides to waste his turn being a jackass. This player was playing his Rogue as a total kleptomaniac. He wasn't taking any weapon skills of combat feats (not even two weapon fighting, meaning he was wielding a single dagger in melee combat). Instead, he was only stealing. Wherever we went, he was interrupting us to ask what the valuables in the area are, and stealing everything not nailed down. And usually not even valuable stuff, it was crap like teapots and silverware that the DM said was worth a copper each at best. It was slightly funny at first, but by the end of the second session was really annoying. So, with that said, rather than trying to do something useful in this incredibly dangerous situation with a group member in mortal peril, he rushes past me and steals the gang's cash from behind the bar. And of course, I get a bad roll on my attempt to KO the bartender, giving away my position and leaving us possibly totally fucked. At the end of the round I dodged a few swings, the bard was still entrancing the pistolero, and two of the thugs have pulled out rope to tie him up. The rogue gets to go again. He is behind the counter with me. Rather than moving over to attack someone in melee, or hopping the bar to get into optimal dagger throwing range (he was 15 feet away, throwing range without penalty is 10, so all he needed was a free 5 foot step) he instead draws a single dagger (not two) and throws it at the bard from a range that gives him a penalty to hit (can you see yet why I hate playing with this guy?). He hits, only does 3 damage, doesn't break the concentration so the spell is still in effect. My turn, I decide to be useful. I drop my club, vault the counter, draw daggers from spring loaded concealed sheathes under my sleeves (swift action), and throw both at the bard. I manage to do 8 damage to him and break his concentration, meaning the pistolero can go to town. The bard began buffing them all with a song before going invisible, but it didn't help them much. My rogue is a killing machine. 18 Strength, 20 Dexterity ( we did dice rolls for stats), and I picked Tengu as my race so I can use swords. Sneak attack crits from a Rogue who is two weapon fighting with a bastard sword and masterwork short sword HURT. The pistolero and I turned the bar into a killing floor. All the other rogue did was knock out the bartender by kicking him in the head (he failed an acrobatics check hopping the counter and was prone, it was an easy roll). The bard used a dimension door to escape, while two guys inside managed to run away. It was a fight that could have gone very, VERY badly thanks to bad luck and our other rogue being a selfish dumbass, but despite the hugely stacked odds against us we pulled through, and managed to become the owners of the bar as well.

I am going to join a different group next week since this playing group is really, REALLY bad. The DM is great, but he let too many people join the group. We have 10 people normally, 12 if everyone shows up. That's just too many people to juggle. Some of the people are really obnoxious and it can be a pain playing with them. They don't play as a team at all. There like 4 of us who actually think about what to do and discuss it, the rest really don't talk and tend to follow our lead. Our last fight when REALLY badly because our wizard (who I think might literally be at least mildly retarded irl) decided to ruin my sneaking up on unaware goblin guards by throwing a ray of frost at them. Not only did he miss, he ruined my surprise round when I was only a few steps away and could have potentially killed them all quietly. The noise of the scuffle caused us to get massively jumped from behind. In this fight, said wizard almost hit a team mate with his short bow, and then hit two party members on the front lines tanking hits with another ray of frost after we specifically told him not to shoot into melee. The fight took like 45 minutes because of how many people have to take turns, and people goofing around at the table. And of course, the ever present useless klepto rogue. I'm glad some of my original group have decided to reform, they were a great group to play with.
 

loc978

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In my most recent Marvel RPG campaign... a campaign in which my team and I (somehow they elected me leader) fought the x-men to several stalemates, killed a demon, and temporarily gained control of the Juggernaut (the word "*****" was quite overused that night)...

...my heavily armored martial artist mutant had an incident of super-leaping into a game of Russian roulette and subsequently being shot right in the armored testicles (while trying rejoin the group at a hotel).
...our magic-using cyborg failed teleportation rolls repeatedly while trying to show off in coversations (resulting in awkward pauses. Somehow he always succeeded in combat).
...our bubble-producing super-soldier wound up jumping up and down blowing air until he passed out trying to make a bubble around himself.
...and our toxin producer poisoned a whole lot of trees instead of enemies (couldn't hit the broad side of a demon with her darts).

We were amazingly successful, considering how many simple rolls we flubbed. It was only complex, difficult longshots that we succeeded at.
 

Ulkjen

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Dear lord. The DM sounded great but what is with that rogue? Haha, i do not blame you for leaving that group.

Unfortunately, my D&D stories are pretty small in regards to what has happened as I do not have a lot of playtime. But share nonetheless I will.

Playing a Tengu cleric with a focus on healing. Chaotic Good and completly optimistic about life. Now, my rolls were never terrible but the first sign of 'Oh god we're all going to die' was the fact the party let the chaotic good cleric with a -very- young outlook on life lead the party. You can imagine where this went south. Attempting to communicate with Ogres, releasing captured gnolls or were's, so on and so on. He just made decision after decision that makes things worse and worse. When we finally get to the stronghold of the bandits that have been raiding people it's so well prepared we get screwed up. I went, as the healer, unconciounce 7 times before we got to the first 'boss' monster. First to a wolf, second to an assassin vine, third, fourth, and fifth to bandits. Sixth and Seventh to the first miniboss.

And the group still wouldnt have someone else do the leadership role.
 

silver wolf009

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Jan 23, 2010
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I have one from this past weekend, actually. From Shadowrun. We were leaving a house we had just bought, when the DM told us to roll Perception. Three of us make it, and he simply says, "There are four squirrels in the tree, looking at you."

One afternoon later, we were paranoid as all given Hell, having shot one of the squirrels. They then cut our friend's brake line on his motorcycle, and cursed it to float in the air via a magical pile of bird skulls. When he tried to remove the skulls from his motorcycle, he instant shot to the ceiling when it was levitating him.

So, yeah, we pissed off a secret society of magical squirrels. We bought them crates of really high grade whiskey as payment. We've lost thousands on this.
 

spartandude

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In one group i was DMing and the players decided they wanted to be evil (who am i to say no) however what they thought that evil was stealing from EVERYONE and killing EVERYONE as soon as they werent useful, such as after recieving a quest reward. Now i was getting sick of this as my NPCs were dying and the group was getting kicked out of every place they went.
So i had them for the next part of the planned story to be working for an ancient white dragon. the dragon wanted them to help him take other the kingdom and in return promised the usual riches and power. Well the group decided to steal from the dragon and while they talked to it the thief would sneak around and pocket as much cash as possible.... then she rolled a 1 on her stealth check, at which point the PCs decided to attack. The first of the Dragon's attacks was a crit and killed the thief right there and then and killed 2 more players.

Now they learnt their lesson and while the new characters are also evil, they are doing it in more subtle ways rather than just being aggressive dicks.
 

FrozenLaughs

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spartandude said:
Now they learnt their lesson and while the new characters are also evil, they are doing it in more subtle ways rather than just being aggressive dicks.
If they still want to be evil than they didn't learn their lesson. Evil player characters fuck up every campaign. Every time.
 

spartandude

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FrozenLaughs said:
spartandude said:
Now they learnt their lesson and while the new characters are also evil, they are doing it in more subtle ways rather than just being aggressive dicks.
If they still want to be evil than they didn't learn their lesson. Evil player characters fuck up every campaign. Every time.
Theres a difference between being evil and fucking up the campaign. The way they were doing it was just kill everything, now its much more manipulation and intimidation and ruling with an iron fist other weaker people.
For example it used to be that if a lord gave them a quest to put down a rebellion they would kill off the the rebellion and then kill the lord and then kill the town.
Now its more either side with the lord or the rebellion depending who makes the better offer and then brutally putting down any resistance no questions asked.
 

WindKnight

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In general, I was known for really bad luck, including having to retire four characters due to losing an arm after some bad dice roles (plus a fifth getting shot in the groin in a manner that pretty much precluded him having kids), Having an entire game where my master of stealth and traps fumbled every test she was an expert at. A misheard suggestion for a superhero name ( I said ripple, they misheard... well, you can geuss) led to a day of gentle ribbing. Plus having one game where i took three guns into a fight and had them all jam on me in the first three combat rounds. Or the barfight before I only had one gun, it jammed, and I spend the rest of the fight grabbing guns off the floor and seeing if any of them worked. And the way the rest of the group used their mobiles as 'bad luck shields' to block just how bad my luck was.

Not all fun and games though. Had a couple of unpleasant experiences with a particular GM who enslaved my character in two different games (admittedly in the first one the whole party ended up enslaved, the 2nd just seemed like being vindictive punishment of bad dice rolls), and because they were female he went into leering detail about the fetish gear I was being put in. In both cases I ended up being owned by another party member, though in the latter not until after having to endure a session spent humiliating my character.
 

Commissar Sae

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Well the last game of Dark Heresy I DMed ended with some pretty horrible rolls and decisions. The goal of this particular outing was to stop an assassin in a pre-industrial setting. So the party splits up with the guardsman diving through a window because he heard some screams outside, ends up getting stabbed repeatedly but actually knocks out the assassin and manages to bandage himself back up. meanwhile the psyker and the scum go hunting through the mansion to try to find the other assassin.

They find him right before he is able to stab the mark and run in guns blazing. Unfortunately the psykers Las shot goes wide and hits the scum right in the back, causing his ammo to cook off and making him explode. This fortunately knocks out the assassin but now the scum is very dead. The psyker then decides it is a good idea to question the assassin as he wakes up. When the assassin proves to be unhelpful he fires a shot into his chest... which ends up cooking off the blackpowder the assassin was carrying, setting off another explosion that now kills the unconscious mark and nearly kills the psyker. Needless to say things did not go as planned.
 

Lawyer105

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I've got an almost endless supply of stories from my time at the table...

We were playing a GURPS Fantasy campaign, and I built myself a character called Al'Haqim (pr. Al-ha-keem) - trader extraordinaire (with a few spells thrown in for good measure).

In lieu of a large portion of my starting wealth, the GM and I put together a "Bag 'o stuff" to serve as my trade goods so that we didn't have to bore the rest of the group RP'ing all the trading or do all the admin involved in keeping track of everything. The basic principle behind the bag was that I could ask the GM for any non-magical item(s) with an appropriate value (based on how much I'd invested in The Bag over the campaign). The GM made a roll and, if successful, I just happened to have whatever-it-is that I wanted in The Bag. This led to substantial hilarity.

---------------------

Needing to get the group to someplace high, I asked the GM for a carpet. The Bag provided and, courtesy of my Levitate spell, we got where we needed to go. When we landed, since I couldn't put stuff back in the bag (and never being one to waste the opportunity) I looked around for a likely NPC to buy my "flying carpet". A few good Haggle rolls later, I sold the "flying carpet" for a substantial sum. The GM just laughed and told me that the NPC was so impressed by his purchase that he immediately unrolled it, sat down... and nothing happened. Cue guards, accusations of fraud etc.

Quite calmly, I sat down on the carpet, activated my Levitate and zipped around the square. Upon landing, I turned to the hapless NPC and asked (supported by a Bluff check) whether his Magic Carpet pilot's license was up to date and whether he'd purchased appropriate Carpet Insurance. With the NPC (and guards) looking confused, I told the poor NPC that I sympathised with his plight and that (for an additional fee) I could arrange for flying lessons and the appropriate licences and paperwork. The NPC was unhappy, but grudgingly handed over the rest of the money and, with the party leaving town the next morning anyway, I considered it a pretty good day's work.

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Later, while somewhere underground, the party runs across an encampment of nasties. Seeing an opportunity to rid the party of my character, the fighter-type (who hated me for some reason - apparently, I "conned" him... who? Me? :p ) suggests to my character that the nasties represent a large, untapped market that I can exploit - The plan, of course, being that the party can slip by unnoticed while I distract (preferably fatally) the nasties.

Having taken a compulsive behaviour flaw (related to not passing up an opportunity for profit) and failing the wisdom check the GM "suggested" I take, Al'Haqim strolls into the nasties camp and, with a couple of good knowledge and language checks, and an assist from The Bag, quickly starts bartering with the nasties. Turns out the nasties aren't nearly so nasty and have a magpie-like craving for shinies. MUCH profit (and a few nice gifts to the "chief") and the tribe became a ready market for as many shinies as I could supply, while refusing to trade with anyone else. In my head, my character still visits them to this day.

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Still later, while poking around some ancient temple that was supposedly guarded by terrible monsters, my character tells the party's cowardly thief-type that the jars of miscellaneous goop he just pulled from The Bag are Grade-A Certified Monster Repellent (Guaranteed). In a *ahem* supreme act of role-playing, the thief immediately buys the lot, and slathers herself in smelly goo (with GM laughing hysterically).

Exploration continues. Monsters arrive. While the party (pretty badly outmatched) fights for their lives, the thief hides in a corner, covered in goo, rocking herself, going "they can't see me, they can't see me".... and is totally ignored by the monsters.

GM (still laughing, and swearing blind that the campaign was pre-planned this way) tells us that the "monsters" are really some form of golem, and only attack those who attack them. Given the kill-first-ask-questions-never nature of the party, the outcome (i.e. all-out war) was pretty much a foregone conclusion - but nobody had foreseen the "monster reppelent" covered thief hiding in the corner.

For all the rest of our adventures, the thief swore blind that the "monster repellent" worked, and would stock up on it at the start of every session.


FrozenLaughs said:
spartandude said:
Now they learnt their lesson and while the new characters are also evil, they are doing it in more subtle ways rather than just being aggressive dicks.
If they still want to be evil than they didn't learn their lesson. Evil player characters fuck up every campaign. Every time.
Ummm... no offense, but you're totally wrong. Some of the best gaming times I've ever had have been with evil PC's. The problem is that very few GM's or players can actually handle an evil PC properly. Most tend to treat "evil" as some variation on "stupid" which, quite naturally, doesn't work very well.

Even "chaotic evil" in D&D terms, doesn't automatically translate to "stupid idiot" unless the player and GM are Doing-It-Wrong.
 

Mister K

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Apr 25, 2011
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I freakin LOVE such threads. I don't have stories of my own (sadly) but I will share those that I have in my archive. All rights belong to their most respectful owners.

And so:
Playing a half orc monk, decided to play something beyond weeaboo "i am a master of martial arts"
Spent 100 gp on an inlaid mask with intricate tribal designs sewn on the side with a ´fin´
BECAME LOS TIBURON, THE SHARK OF THE LAND, MASKED WRESTLER.
Take all feats revolving around grappeling and grapple EVERYTHING, EVERY FUCKING THING, including but not limited to bears.
Final part of the campaign, OH SHIT, DRAGON.
Dragon acts like a coward, ducking into water and popping up to use breath weapon.
fuck that, i´m charging his ass
My brother, playing a warforged fighter assists my MIGHTY LEAP into the air, where i pose mid air, shouting about THE HONOR OF THE MASK.
TACKLE A FUCKING DRAGON
Dealt unarmed damage, latched on, and took a deep breath for underwater struggle.
Instead the dragon goes up, forgot they can also fly.
DM gives me option to let go before he goes up, but fuck that, i´m wrestling.
200 feet in the air, wrestling a dragon and dealing unarmed damage.
The dragon actually started hurting me so i needed to come up with a plan.
Brilliance strikes me
"i roll to pin"
entire table is silent
I roll to pin his wings behind his back so he can´t fly anymore.
ENTIRE TABLE IS LEANING OVER SO I CAN MAKE MY ROLL OF DESTINY
NATURAL. FUCKING. TWENTY.
I pin the dragon´s wings, sending it and me hurtling to the ground, i have 6 seconds to make my final statement.
"I AM LOS TIBURON AND I AM...A LUCHA"
Dragon´s neck snaps on impact.
Through sheer luck i survive with -4 hp.
Cleric puts me back together and picks me up, holding one arm in the air.
My brother bangs his shield twice, making a bell noice.
Party´s bard: "And the winner is.....Los Tiburon!"
high fives all around
I am going to post more in a while.
 

Mid Boss

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Aug 20, 2012
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I've never played Shadowrun pnp but this is how my sister describes why she is never allowed to play a magic user again. If there are any inaccuracies to the rule system, I am unaware of them.

So, when you roll for spell damage you roll your dice and any dice that come up in the critical range you must roll again to determine the extra damage. Then, if any dice in the extra damage roll comes up as in the critical range you must roll again and again and again until none of the dice come up as critical.

Apparently she had the worst possible luck with this. When using a chain lightening spell she critical rolled so many times the lightening jumped from her opponents into her team mates, killing them all.

Another time they were trying to break into a building and she used a lightening bolt spell to try to take out the turret on the side of the building. Several critical rolls later a lightening bolt came from the sky so powerful it obliterated not only the turret, but the building they were trying to break into.

The third, and last time, that she was allowed to play a mage she was off in some other part of the city while the rest of the team fought against a boss. So she used an ability that let her cast spells from extreme range to throw a fire ball at him. Several critical rolls later the fire ball obliterated the boss and the gas station the guy was standing near. The resulting explosion killed everyone else on her team.
 

IceStar100

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Ok this is from world of darkness. Or as we call it the night that never should of happened.

Ok we have some Ancient Vampire lords 3 to count who are gearing up to basically destroy everyone and everything. The beast has taken over there mind. For those of you not in the know. These guys where sired by the first vampire Kain himself.
It was an event so we have multipage groups together. Also my group is clan Venture which are the ?Noble class? all it really means is they are the blue blood of vampire but very charismatic. I happen to be the only combat set in the group since my vampire was a cleaner in life. Not a window washer but a high class assassin. Ok now that the background set up.
I and my group are searching this underground maze looking for the big bad when we are told roll for prospection. Well we fail and come to find out the other group did too. What happened is a group of three vampire?s crashes into a group of three unchanged were-wolves. Now understand were-wolves and vampire HATE each other and will mostly attack each other on side. The saving grace here is we were both shocked in this meeting because of the low roll.
Wellbeing who I am I roll a charisma check and I get a perfect roll. What does Dayan do? Looks the were-wolves in the eyes and states in a deep Irish accent ?He pups I?m guessing you?re looking for old ancient skin and bones too. How about we kill each other later and work on a common goal for now.? With that he offers his hand. They roll enough to keep their instincts in check and accept the deal. Later on we crash into a new group of 6 hunters. The get shocked by the sight of were-wolves and vampires working to gather. Again I roll for charisma and get a perfect roll. I mean they took my dice and checked to see if they were cooked.
So I offer the same deal to this group that we work together enemy of my enemy and all. They accept. So no 3 vampire 3 were-wolves and 6 hunters. When we find the vampire lords what should have been a suicide mission turns into a curb stomp battle. The most damage done that night as is a hunter gets a black eye.
Now everyone is expecting the fight to start up now that it?s looting time. Again it works in our favor since everyone want different things. My clan wants stuff like the blood and artifact that increase there power, the were-wolves want trophies and the hunters want the shiny stuff gold and jewel.
We all left that night happy I mean by the end the hunters van is so loaded down that it is scrapping the ground. My group got blood that raised our age. The were-wolves got to heads of the lords and high level minions. We had more adventure with the three but that enough story time for now
 

Mattlore

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I have quite a few stories that range from hilarious (The time my ponzi, spanish duelist accidentally slept with a sexy vampire lady) to downright epic (Where my dwarf, Knight of the Chalice managed to hit the ebonmaw: Turaglass for more the 50% of his HP on a hail mary attack). But I think my favorite story is as follows:

This involved my duelist named Fernando. He was kind of like a cross between Inigo Montoya and Howl from Howl's moving castle. He wore no armor, and carried around an elven rapier. He was incredibly charismatic, but lacked a lot of the physique that the rest of the part had. So he relied on his wit, diplomacy and charisma to get himself out of "Most" situations. So the party; which consisted of a were-tiger Halfling, Dwarf barbarian with a giant, orange mohawk, a half-elf warrior, and a Githyanki warrior. We were in a port town (This was a pirate campaign) and we were wandering around looking for shenanigans. So we come across an abandoned house with a giant hole in the floor. We decide to investigate and find out that a colony of rat-men had taken up residence below the house.
There was some fighting, some killing and eventually a fire broke out due to an oil lamp being knocked from the ceiling onto the wooden floors. We managed to escape the house but ended up coming face to face with an entire contingent of guards with their spears pointed at us. I decide I would talk our way out of this (I had massive points and bonuses to my diplomacy and bluff).
So I walk forward with my hands in the air, smiling cockily: (Read in a stereotypical, thick, spanish accent)"Gentlemen please...I can explain everything"
It was at that moment that our Githyanki looked around and said "Well...Fuck this!" and he tore open a dimensional gate, stepped through and vanished.
The guards looked at empty space where he was once standing, then back at me, to which I replied "...But I cannot explain that!"

Yeah...We were thrown in jail...Granted our Barbarian ended up going into a frothing rage, killed all the guards with a the bars of the cell he had pulled from the ground, then proceeded to smash through a brick wall with his head (He rolled a pair of 20's on the strength check), and lead us to safety.

SO yeah...A rather entertaining experience.
 

SirNerd

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Playing a 10th level pathfinder (I was a cleric tank, we had an Alchemist, a Gunslinger, and a Monk who had left since his player was the DM) game with rotating DMs. My friend David get his turn and takes the party to a long forgotten village in the wilderness that the party managed to stumble across. The locals are complaining that something has been stealing the lifestock from all the farmers and that the village with perish if something isn't done. Thinking it's just a bunch of bandits or other creatures, we set off. We've been through the ringer with these characters, and once killed off a very powerful magic caster with an army of golems, we thought this was a cake walk.

Turns out the creatures who were stealing the lifestock were coming out of a portal in the middle of the nearby forest, which we tracked our query thru. The portal shuts off the moment we pass thru it. We find ourselves on the lost continent of the world, which no one has survived making landfall on, but people brushing close to the shore have taken note of the huge creatures roaming it's land. We dubbed it DinoIsland. We come across a long survivor from a mercenary group named Regdar, who gets torn apart by raptors, as well as a hermit Druid of great power. He says that he used to be part of a village that lived on this island, until someone got the bright idea to use the creatures on the DinoIsland to assault the main land and taken over the world, creating a caught of DinoDruids. He directs us to the base of the Volcanic Evil Lair (yes this is cheesy) but leaves us since he can't fight his former brothers and sisters.

To make a long story shorter, we assault the base, come across the equivalent of the Dino Power Rangers, kill of many huge creatures and the like. We are 2 steps from the final boss, when come across the gatekeeper, a lone Druid with a Raptor for a pet. We charge him, and the guy throws a fire lava spell at us and rolls ALL SIXES AND FIVES ON 13D6!!! Which knocks the Gunslinger unconcious and greatly injures the other two members of the party, who slowly get mauled to death by that damn raptor.
 

Mersadeon

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Jun 8, 2010
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Ohoho, a Countermonkey thread. I like.

Now, I am normally the DM, so these stories are about my players.

Our very first playing session went as well as you could expect. They had volunteered to essentially break into a wizards house/tower. The wizard was missing (presumably because of something inside the house), so it was guarded by one of the militia boys - mostly untrained young guys that don't really give a shit about the law. So they walked up to him, struck a deal to get in, but the guy didn't have a key. They would have to get through one of the (glass-free) windows. Those were a bit high up.

They were one cleric and two rogues. They got the idea that they should first get some light into the place before they tried to climb over. The cleric cast his Light spell on a hazelnut they happened to have with them. The cleric tries to throw it through the window. He fails.
The first rogue takes it, boasting how much better he will be (OT because of his higher Dexterity). He failed.
The second rogue takes it, throws it and misses, too.

In the end, they had to ask the militia guy to throw it. They were quite embarrassed.