Darth Vader Robs a Bank

John Funk

U.N. Owen Was Him?
Dec 20, 2005
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Darth Vader Robs a Bank



The ability to hold up a bank teller at gunpoint is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Boy, how the mighty have fallen. Once the feared right-hand-man and merciless enforcer to the iron-fisted ruler of the galaxy whose mere name caused the good-hearted to shudder, Darth Vader has been reduced to robbing our mere Earth banks for funds - after all, Star Destroyers don't come cheap, y'know.

Police in Setauket, Long Island report that the Dark Lord of the Sith entered the bank in question at 11:30 am this morning armed with a pistol (and presumably the infinite power of the Dark Side to boot). The cashiers complied with his demand to fork over the cash, because hey, are you going to argue with Darth Vader?

Vader fled the scene with an "undisclosed amount of cash," which we suspect was in Republic credits, and may or may not have escaped via the New York subway system [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/102080-Stormtroopers-Arrest-Princess-Leia-on-New-York-Subway]

Authorities are searching for the thief, who is described as being 6'2" in height and was wearing a blue cape and camouflage pants at the time of the robbery, in addition to his traditional helmet and mask - perhaps it was laundry day in the Imperial army or something.

In all seriousness, if you have to rob a bank in costume, there are certainly worse outfits to wear than a Darth Vader suit. Perhaps someone was a wee bit angry at not being able to make it out to Comic-Con, hmm?

It's just a shame that there weren't any Jedi on hand [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/100427-Thiefs-Master-Plan-Foiled-by-Spider-Man-Jedi-Knights] to stop him.

(Gothamist [http://www.wpix.com/news/wpix-darth-vader-robs-banks,0,7182656.story])

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MrSnugglesworth

Into the Wild Green Snuggle
Jan 15, 2009
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Thats just... Thats just too good.


I hope they never catch the guy.

He's just to bad ass.
 

Antari

Music Slave
Nov 4, 2009
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I think he'll find the cops have the ability to shoot lightening from their fingers. That tazer is going to sting!
 

Arkhangelsk

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Mar 1, 2009
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That. Is. Hilarious. Man, I wish I was there. I don't care if I was held at gunpoint, I would laugh so hard.

Also, why would he flee? He could just force choke the police.
 

Radeonx

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Apr 26, 2009
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I think that'd it be hilarious if this was the same Vader in the video where Star Wars characters rode on a subway.
 

hobo_welf

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Aug 15, 2008
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This is so funny! Oh my god, let's all make jokes about somebody putting a gun in someones face because they're dressed up as a pop culture icon!

Good one, Funk.
 

Baby Eater

Baruk Khazâd! Khazâd ai-mênu!
Aug 27, 2009
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I can only assume Darth Vader's force was diminished after taking off his suit.Clearly the only answer is to hire Wookie guards!
 

Quaxar

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Sep 21, 2009
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Could only be improved by doing the same robbery with a red lightsaber. Truly one of the great men of our century...
 

MrSnugglesworth

Into the Wild Green Snuggle
Jan 15, 2009
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hobo_welf said:
This is so funny! Oh my god, let's all make jokes about somebody putting a gun in someones face because they're dressed up as a pop culture icon!

Good one, Funk.
If he hurt someone, It'd be different. But no one was injured, so why not joke?
 

Tears of Blood

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Jul 7, 2009
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Ehh...

Though humorous, some douchebag just got away with some other people's money. Anybody could've done this. And he had to hold a terrified teller at gunpoint, he didn't even use a knife, let alone a sword, or even have the full getup. He probably has no attachment to the character, even, the mask and cape were probably just available.

It's just kinda' messed up if you ask me.

EDIT: Why are people saying this is awesome? This is not awesome. A man threatened someone with a gun, that's just messed up. It doesn't matter what the hell they were wearing when they did it, it was just to conceal his identity.
 

ShadowsofHope

Outsider
Nov 1, 2009
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hobo_welf said:
This is so funny! Oh my god, let's all make jokes about somebody putting a gun in someones face because they're dressed up as a pop culture icon!

Good one, Funk.
Someone doesn't have much humor!

OT: ..That is simply amazing. As much as I loathe criminals, this is Darth Vader. He just.. Argh! I'm torn between loving him and wanting him to escape, or loving him yet wanting him to get caught.

Bleh.
 

slowpoke999

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Sep 17, 2009
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MrSnugglesworth said:
hobo_welf said:
This is so funny! Oh my god, let's all make jokes about somebody putting a gun in someones face because they're dressed up as a pop culture icon!

Good one, Funk.
If he hurt someone, It'd be different. But no one was injured, so why not joke?
Cause omg guns are bad and how can you make jokes you are all inhuman monsters.

Remember it's not funny unless the pop culture icon is doing anything too nonoffensive
 

kibayasu

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Jan 3, 2008
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Ok, impromptu mask, I get it.

But why the hell would you, when you're about to rob a bank at gunpoint, think "Hm, you know, I should cape too."
 

Baby Eater

Baruk Khazâd! Khazâd ai-mênu!
Aug 27, 2009
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kibayasu said:
Ok, impromptu mask, I get it.

But why the hell would you, when you're about to rob a bank at gunpoint, think "Hm, you know, I should cape too."
Because he's Darth Vader dammit! :p
 

Mr. Grey

I changed my face, ya like it?
Aug 31, 2009
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I find his lack of fashion sense disturbing.

Those pants clash with everything else, plus that cape is the wrong shade and color.

MrSnugglesworth said:
hobo_welf said:
This is so funny! Oh my god, let's all make jokes about somebody putting a gun in someones face because they're dressed up as a pop culture icon!

Good one, Funk.
If he hurt someone, It'd be different. But no one was injured, so why not joke?
Well, psychologically speaking I'm sure this person will forever fear people dressed as Lord Vader. Fear is only rational when confronting the true Lord Vader, now this poor teller can no longer sit on Lord Vader's Helpers' lap every Life Day. What kind of a life is that?
 

Mr. Gency

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Jan 26, 2010
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hobo_welf said:
This is so funny! Oh my god, let's all make jokes about somebody putting a gun in someones face because they're dressed up as a pop culture icon!

Good one, Funk.
We aren't laughing about the fact the was robbed. We're laughing at the means used.