Dead bodies in the closet...?

Primate

PROBATION
Mar 2, 2010
103
0
0
Athol said:
What's that smell?

*Opens closet*

"Fuuuuck, I blacked out again didn't I?"

*Goes and loads body, shovel, mattock, saw, and a bag of Quick Lime into van*

"Here we go again..."
This! ^^
 

Fiz_The_Toaster

books, Books, BOOKS
Legacy
Jan 19, 2011
5,498
1
3
Country
United States
Shit I knew I was drunk, but I thought I had enough coordination and awareness to put him in the freezer.

There goes my morning!
 

garfoldsomeoneelse

Charming, But Stupid
Mar 22, 2009
2,908
0
0
I'd have three questions:
1) Who the hell put this here?
2) Where did they find enough space in my closet to hang a body?
3) Can they come back and rearrange the rest of it for me?
 

Evil the White

New member
Apr 16, 2009
918
0
0
SckizoBoy said:
And bury the glass eye...

(cookie for reference, might be quite a vague one, tho)
Mad-Eye Moody, all they found of him was his eye on an office door. So Harry and the gang stole it and buried it somewhere.

GIMME GIMME GIMME

OT, I would most likely wonder why I hadn't noticed it before.
 

Therumancer

Citation Needed
Nov 28, 2007
9,909
0
0
Kakashi on crack said:
If you woke up one morning and found a week-old dead body (your choice on whether its intact or mutilated) hanging in your closet, what would your reaction be?
Exclaim "oh damn, yeah, I knew I was forgetting to do something..."

Then go get my Draino or other industrial-caustic heavy solution, dissolve the body in my bathtub and "awwway go troubles, down the drain" (like the old commercial jingle). :)

I mean it's just a dead body, chances are if it's in my closet I put it there.

Of course then again if I ever DO decide to kill anyone I'm going to start with plans to dispose of the body because that's the hard part and what determines if your going to get away with it or not usually. The actual killing isn't all that hard.

I've honestly never had to dispose of a body, but I've been taught to, and the draino thing is the easiest method even if it's not the quickest. Truthfully I hope to never have to put that knowlege to the test and find out in person how well it works.
 

dspike

New member
Sep 15, 2011
20
0
0
I would put them in a garbage bag and drag it to the closest river but on the way I would whisper things like "They made me do it" then I would promptly dump it.
 

PhantomEcho

New member
Nov 25, 2011
165
0
0
My response would go something along these lines:

"Holy shit!"

(wait a few seconds)

"Hmm... we should probably get you down from there, eh?"

(wait a few more seconds)

"Hey, honey... can you run to the store and pick up some plastic wrap? And some air freshener?"

(wait a few more seconds)

"Thanks, love. Oh! Do you remember where we stuck the gardening shovel?"

(wait a few more seconds)

"I hate when the house starts to smell like corpse."
 

CleverCover

New member
Nov 17, 2010
1,284
0
0
Well, seeing as there's a small closet I haven't been in for weeks since it has all my "super special occasion" clothes, it's plausible.

OMGJESUSFUCKINGCHRISTWHATTHEBLEEDINGFUCKISTHISDOINGINMYOMGHOWTHEHELLDIDTHISGETINMYHOUSEWHATTHEHELL...

'has a fit almost collapses on the floor, cries a bit, calls friend and then calls police'
 

ajemas

New member
Nov 19, 2009
500
0
0
I think that I would just call the police. If it was in my closet, then there would be a strong possibility that I did it and had no recollection of it. If evidence points towards the fact that it was me, then I would happily go to jail or a mental institution. I could not live with the possibility that I might harm somebody else.
 

SckizoBoy

Ineptly Chaotic
Legacy
Jan 6, 2011
8,666
180
68
A Hermit's Cave
Evil the White said:
Mad-Eye Moody, all they found of him was his eye on an office door. So Harry and the gang stole it and buried it somewhere.

GIMME GIMME GIMME
Not actually the reference I was thinking of (the BBQ one was the vagueness...)

Still, I am a generous man:

 

Jovip

New member
Aug 12, 2010
158
0
0
In 100% complete honesty my reactions would be, in this order.

1. I want coffee.
2. Shit theres a dead body
3. hope it didn't bleed on any of the cords i have laying around in there
4. getting a garbage bag.
5. Throwing limb by limb into the garbage and casually chuck it in the bin outside my house
6. Clean up blood
7. get a coffee


I'm a seriously desensitized person and have seen, in real life an intense barrage of fucked up things. This would honestly be one of the least alarming things.
 

Robby Foxfur

New member
Sep 1, 2009
404
0
0
Wow i'm extremely unobservant since my closet is always open ... then i'd have to do some night diggin
 
Oct 12, 2011
561
0
0
Ah Hell. DAMMIT JEN! YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO CLEAN UP AFTER THE DAMN PARTY!!!!!

*grumblegrumblegrumble*

No, I am NOT going to help you bury this one! You said the last one was it, remember?!?!?
 

Dfskelleton

New member
Apr 6, 2010
2,851
0
0
Oh boy! Snacktime!
OT: I'd probably calmly shut the closet door, leave the room, stick my head in a bucket of freezing water, then go back and see if it was still there.
If it was:

Then, I'd chop it up, bury it under the floorboards, and sell the house. I'd love to see the reaction of the next owners of the house.