Describe your last visit to the bathroom.

MarsProbe

Circuitboard Seahorse
Dec 13, 2008
2,372
0
0
Well, whatever gets you through the day...

First thing, I sat on the toilet, where I did....toilet things. Then I washed my hands and face, then brushed my teeth. Epic stuff.

I also thought a bit more about that dream I had where there was a river flowing through my work that I started to dig up with a trowel, and what it could possibly mean, if anything.
 

Caeltyr

New member
Oct 17, 2011
15
0
0
Went in, put the seat up, put my foot up on the edge of the bowl, and emptied my leg bag into the toilet.

A bright, shiny copper coin to anyone who figures this out.
 

Ickorus

New member
Mar 9, 2009
2,887
0
0
Went in, turned the light on, took a pee, washed my hands, turned the light off and now I'm going to bed.
 

anthony87

New member
Aug 13, 2009
3,727
0
0
Went in, unzipped, balls shriveled up like a ************ because it was really cold, had a pee, missed a bit, wiped off the seat with some tissue.

All in all, I've had better job interviews.

/terrible joke
 

Zyntoxic

New member
May 9, 2011
215
0
0
well, I sat on the toilet, then my cat came to me for a little visit, nibbling at my ankles while purring (her food bowl was empty) so scratched her a bit behind her ears and then finished up, washed my hands and went to the kitchen to re-fill the catfood bowl.

any other mundane happenings of my day I'd like to know about?
 
Feb 22, 2009
715
0
0
Eh, it was kinda shitty.

*patiently awaits laughter*

Artemis923 said:
Banged my gf on the sink, then took a shower afterwards...which turned into Round 2.

Did you really want to know that? I think not.
Do you really want to ask that, knowing there's a possibility the answer is a resounding yes?
 

krazykidd

New member
Mar 22, 2008
6,099
0
0
My girlfriend was in the shower . I loaded a bucket of ice cold water , and threw it on her wet naked body . She screamed and yelled , i laughed , and then we had intercourse in th shower .
 

Loaeon

New member
Jun 22, 2012
22
0
0
Well this a different form of thread, but whatever. I washed my hand's after eating nutella on toast quite tasty.
 

PAGEToap44

New member
Jul 16, 2008
1,242
0
0
I had a shower, but only washed my hair, as the water fluctuates between temperatures akin to 'the fires of Hell' and 'Arctic.'

Then I brushed my teeth, and flossed them.

And yeah, that was it. Now I'm off to bed.
 

Calibanbutcher

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2009
1,702
8
43
Well, as I was just minding my own business, idling and wasting time, I felt the sudden urge to relieve myself. So on a quest I had to go.
The earth shook when I sprang up, the door shivered when I approached and splintered under the force of my hand tearing it open. Swiftly I made for the bathroom, when suddenly I was pounced upon by a wild chocolate bar. It was with all my strength, courage and wisdom that I managed not to fall to it's wondrous charm, a lesser man surely would have fallen prey to it's sweety goodness, but not me, I fought valiantly and in the end I emerged victorious over the broken carcass of my vicious enemy. Exhausted I stumbled onward, the place I needed to reach in plain sight. The door sprang upon in front of me and I stormed inside, conquering my old nemesis the fly with ease and dropping the monstrous pants clinging to my legs with a single swift strike, I unleashed a mighty stream of urine in the toilet bowl, a true tempest if you will, which continued on for what seemed an eternity. The days faded, the seasons changed, new stars were born and still it raged until nothing was left inside me.
I managed to gather my remaining force and stood upright, my head held high and I activated the flushing mechanism, which, with the force of a thousand storms swept away the remainder of my bodily function. Drained as I was, I washed my hands and left this godforsaken, yet wonderful place, vowing to return one day for more.
 

Sean Hollyman

New member
Jun 24, 2011
5,175
0
0
Calibanbutcher said:
Well, as I was just minding my own business, idling and wasting time, I felt the sudden urge to relieve myself. So on a quest I had to go.
The earth shook when I sprang up, the door shivered when I approached and splintered under the force of my hand tearing it open. Swiftly I made for the bathroom, when suddenly I was pounced upon by a wild chocolate bar. It was with all my strength, courage and wisdom that I managed not to fall to it's wondrous charm, a lesser man surely would have fallen prey to it's sweety goodness, but not me, I fought valiantly and in the end I emerged victorious over the broken carcass of my vicious enemy. Exhausted I stumbled onward, the place I needed to reach in plain sight. The door sprang upon in front of me and I stormed inside, conquering my old nemesis the fly with ease and dropping the monstrous pants clinging to my legs with a single swift strike, I unleashed a mighty stream of urine in the toilet bowl, a true tempest if you will, which continued on for what seemed an eternity. The days faded, the seasons changed, new stars were born and still it raged until nothing was left inside me.
I managed to gather my remaining force and stood upright, my head held high and I activated the flushing mechanism, which, with the force of a thousand storms swept away the remainder of my bodily function. Drained as I was, I washed my hands and left this godforsaken, yet wonderful place, vowing to return one day for more.
See, that's exactly the kind of epic shit people need to do in the lav.
 

Calibanbutcher

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2009
1,702
8
43
Sean Hollyman said:
Calibanbutcher said:
Well, as I was just minding my own business, idling and wasting time, I felt the sudden urge to relieve myself. So on a quest I had to go.
The earth shook when I sprang up, the door shivered when I approached and splintered under the force of my hand tearing it open. Swiftly I made for the bathroom, when suddenly I was pounced upon by a wild chocolate bar. It was with all my strength, courage and wisdom that I managed not to fall to it's wondrous charm, a lesser man surely would have fallen prey to it's sweety goodness, but not me, I fought valiantly and in the end I emerged victorious over the broken carcass of my vicious enemy. Exhausted I stumbled onward, the place I needed to reach in plain sight. The door sprang upon in front of me and I stormed inside, conquering my old nemesis the fly with ease and dropping the monstrous pants clinging to my legs with a single swift strike, I unleashed a mighty stream of urine in the toilet bowl, a true tempest if you will, which continued on for what seemed an eternity. The days faded, the seasons changed, new stars were born and still it raged until nothing was left inside me.
I managed to gather my remaining force and stood upright, my head held high and I activated the flushing mechanism, which, with the force of a thousand storms swept away the remainder of my bodily function. Drained as I was, I washed my hands and left this godforsaken, yet wonderful place, vowing to return one day for more.
See, that's exactly the kind of epic shit people need to do in the lav.
I'll have you know there was no epic shitting taking place, as you would now had you read the text. PUNS are the best wheee.
 

Trippy Turtle

Elite Member
May 10, 2010
2,119
2
43
It is a grand tale, shrouded in much mystery and legend. All we really know is that I went in and came out an hour later, clean and still as tired as I was before I got in.
 

Sean Hollyman

New member
Jun 24, 2011
5,175
0
0
Calibanbutcher said:
Sean Hollyman said:
Calibanbutcher said:
Well, as I was just minding my own business, idling and wasting time, I felt the sudden urge to relieve myself. So on a quest I had to go.
The earth shook when I sprang up, the door shivered when I approached and splintered under the force of my hand tearing it open. Swiftly I made for the bathroom, when suddenly I was pounced upon by a wild chocolate bar. It was with all my strength, courage and wisdom that I managed not to fall to it's wondrous charm, a lesser man surely would have fallen prey to it's sweety goodness, but not me, I fought valiantly and in the end I emerged victorious over the broken carcass of my vicious enemy. Exhausted I stumbled onward, the place I needed to reach in plain sight. The door sprang upon in front of me and I stormed inside, conquering my old nemesis the fly with ease and dropping the monstrous pants clinging to my legs with a single swift strike, I unleashed a mighty stream of urine in the toilet bowl, a true tempest if you will, which continued on for what seemed an eternity. The days faded, the seasons changed, new stars were born and still it raged until nothing was left inside me.
I managed to gather my remaining force and stood upright, my head held high and I activated the flushing mechanism, which, with the force of a thousand storms swept away the remainder of my bodily function. Drained as I was, I washed my hands and left this godforsaken, yet wonderful place, vowing to return one day for more.
See, that's exactly the kind of epic shit people need to do in the lav.

Oh I didn't mean shit as in actual shit, I meant shit as in just general bathroom activites.
 

Moonlight Butterfly

Be the Leaf
Mar 16, 2011
6,157
0
0
One of my kittens fell down the toilet this morning...It's perfectly fine if a little shaken. Toilet lid is firmly closed now although I doubt she will do it again :p
 

Baron von Blitztank

New member
May 7, 2010
2,133
0
0
Hmm... How to describe it. I've heard a lot of other peoples descriptions like "Holy shit, that's hilarious!", "Jesus dude, you should see a Doctor!" and "Why are you passed out and naked on the bathroom floor" but I would describe it as;

"Bloody and viscous"
 

Elementary - Dear Watson

RIP Eleuthera, I will miss you
Nov 9, 2010
2,980
0
0
I wondered in by accident... I am visiting a base I visit often, and have a room in the mess. All the rooms in the mess are the same although some have the bathroom on the left as you walk in, and some on the right... opposite the bathroom are wardrobes.
I as on the phone when I got back from work, and wasn't thinking... and took my jacket off whilst mid convo, then wondered into the bathroom! :S
When I usually stay here the bathroom is on the right, but this was on the left, and my subconscious wanted to do something with my jacket to the left, so I walked in...
It was dark, and confusing and I lost track of what I was saying...
 

MammothBlade

It's not that I LIKE you b-baka!
Oct 12, 2011
5,246
0
0
I farted a warm, sloppy turd into the toilet. It made a satisfying "plop". Then I wiped up thoroughly and left.