Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

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Thaluikhain

Elite Member
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Jan 16, 2010
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Spiders

Giant spiders attack really stupid people in New York. One thing that annoys me about these films is that it's taken for granted that the US government is evil, and that the police and military will be harassing and/or trying to kill the heroes and various other innocent people, but also that nothing should be done about. Sure, run away, but don't ever remember that there's a 2nd Amendment or treat people acting as enemy combatants as enemy combatants. One of the two times they got a bit aggro with soldiers was when a perfectly reasonable one told them the area was being evacuated and they should leave.

Also, dead soldiers everywhere means free guns everywhere. Useful when there's giant spiders and live soldiers around.
 

Xprimentyl

Made you look...
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Aug 13, 2011
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Oxygen

A woman wakes up in a cryo chamber. Oxygen is running low, and she don't know what she's doing there! The computer is helping.. or is it?!

French sci-fi horror. Good stuff, recommended.
Also Oxygen: A'ight / Great

Old_Hunter_77 nailed the synopsis. Not sure I'd recommend it quite as much as it's kinda slow and plodding. It's a bit chintzy also, leaning on some pretty convoluted twists for convolution's sake, but it's not a bad film.
 

Agema

You have no authority here, Jackie Weaver
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Mar 3, 2009
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Last Man Down (2021).

Some unspecified virus has wiped out most of the population of Europe (and I suspect the world generally, otherwise probably the first things that would happen is other parts of the world would claim all that real estate), so this is a post-apocalyptic action film. Some guy called "John" is very well muscled, and lives in a cabin in the woods, nursing the trauma of his departed wife. Then a stranger turns up, dragging behind them a load of hoodlums in tow which John has to contend with. This film screams "vanity project" to me (presumably the lead's) - although I've never heard of him. I suspect he's had a career of being in the cast list as "third thug in [location]", and fancied a shot at being the star.

This film is truly awful. It is, easily, the worst movie I have watched in years: and I've seen Starcrash and Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies in the last year alone. We can start at the fact that literally none of the cast can act. It's not helped by the film clearly being German or Scandinavian, and almost everyone is speaking English as a second language, and I'm not even sure they understand what they are saying, they've just learnt to say the sounds. As a result, some of the lines are delivered weirdly with wrong pacing and emphasis.

The script is legendarily poor. If you've ever seen that contender for worst film ever "The Room", well, it's certainly got competition now in this regard. Just staggeringly incompetent. At best it's the worst cliches. At worst it's random, logically incoherent, and lacks continuity and the attempts to draw some emotional heft are afterthoughts that are beyond feeble. The dialogue is atrocious even before it got to be delivered with the appalling acting. The characters have barely constructed personalities. It is an action movie, and probably its greatest salvation is that the action scenes are not completely awful. Except once the action starts, it is nothing but an endless stream of grunts getting killed in perfunctary action movie fashions for an interminably long time, so the film pacing is poor and it descends into tedium. It makes a move towards fanservice at one point, but even fluffs that as it only teases a boob shot for the pervs without supplying it.

Everyone seems to be wearing body armour that is completely useless. It doesn't stop bullets, knives, spears, arrows... or apparently fists given the reaction of some of the characters to being punched in the torso. Maybe it's not armour and just a postapocalyptic fashion statement? Whatever, it's about the level of this film that no-one put any thought into it. Nobody put any thought into any of it.

So, as the only plus, you can hate watch this film: except only for the first thirty or forty minutes, before the appalling, tedious grind that is the non-stop combat robs you of even that slender joy.
 
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Agema

You have no authority here, Jackie Weaver
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Mar 3, 2009
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Bigbug (2022)

A futuristic comedy drama from Jean Pierre Jeunet about some people stuck in a house because of a robot uprising. I think the robots (who by now are effectively running society for the increasingly coddled and incompetent human race) try to take over, but the household robots lock the family in to save them from the uprising. And you can enjoy their escapades trying to escape the house, whilst having their family interaction stuff. It's a recent divorcee's house, with in attendance: her new partner, her ex-husband and his young secretary-come-girlfriend, their late teen daughter, and the late teen son of her new partner, plus their next door neighbour, so obviously lots of interpersonal angles to run with, albeit maybe a bit cliched.

Obviously, Jean Pierre Jeunet, so it's in French. As you might expect from the director of Amelie, it's filled with quirkiness. The design is very nice, a sort of futuristic 60s retro that would remind anyone of Fallout computer games. It sort of drowns in quirkiness. It's never really very funny, or interesting, or thrilling. I cannot help but feel at some point it tries to make a philosophical point about art and aspiring artists, but it doesn't do a good job if it was. It's amusing enough to make you feel you haven't totally wasted your time, but hardly something you want to prioritise on your watching list.
 
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Specter Von Baren

Annoying Green Gadfly
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Aug 25, 2013
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I don't know, send help!
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Cuttlefish
Bigbug (2022)

A futuristic comedy drama from Jean Pierre Jeunet about some people stuck in a house because of a robot uprising. I think the robots (who by now are effectively running society for the increasingly coddled and incompetent human race) try to take over, but the household robots lock the family in to save them from the uprising. And you can enjoy their escapades trying to escape the house, whilst having their family interaction stuff. It's a recent divorcee's house, with in attendance: her new partner, her ex-husband and his young secretary-come-girlfriend, their late teen daughter, and the late teen son of her new partner, plus their next door neighbour, so obviously lots of interpersonal angles to run with, albeit maybe a bit cliched.

Obviously, Jean Pierre Jeunet, so it's in French. As you might expect from the director of Amelie, it's filled with quirkiness. The design is very nice, a sort of futuristic 60s retro that would remind anyone of Fallout computer games. It sort of drowns in quirkiness. It's never really very funny, or interesting, or thrilling. I cannot help but feel at some point it tries to make a philosophical point about art and aspiring artists, but it doesn't do a good job if it was. It's amusing enough to make you feel you haven't totally wasted your time, but hardly something you want to prioritise on your watching list.
I have to say, these are not the kinds of films I expected you to be watching, even on a lark.
 
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Xprimentyl

Made you look...
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Aug 13, 2011
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Queen of the Damned

Long, boring, pretentious incoherent waffle. There's some vague style tacked in, which is nice, but meh.
I'm sorry you wasted your time, and on that piece of shit film to boot. The QotD film is universally panned by fans of Anne Rice's work as it takes entirely too many liberties and shortcuts with the source material as to be unrepresentative of it. I recall almost leaving the theater, I was so disappointed. Rice even pulled her named from the marketing because even she thought it was garbage. Have you watched Interview With The Vampire? It's an infinitely superior adaptation of Rice's work, and I highly recommend it.
 

Old_Hunter_77

Elite Member
Dec 29, 2021
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Wife of a Spy

Recent Japanese film about a woman in 1940 married to a businessman and discovers his secret political intrigues.
It's a weird tonal mish-mash for me of Hitchcock noir thriller vibe with old-timey Japanese traditional domestic culture... or something.
Highly recommended for fans of tense drama with subtitles.
 

Agema

You have no authority here, Jackie Weaver
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Mar 3, 2009
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I have to say, these are not the kinds of films I expected you to be watching, even on a lark.
I watch pretty much any and all films except romances (although rom-coms okay). I also tend to find a lot of super-serious, worthy, social issue dramas a bit of grind, so I need to be in the right mood before I'll sit through one.
 

PsychedelicDiamond

Wild at Heart and weird on top
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Jan 30, 2011
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The Long Goodbye (1973)

Neo Noir directed by Robert Altman, based on a Raymond Chandler potboiler. Long Goodbye follows the misadventures of LA private eye Philip Marlowe investigating a tangled mystery around his friend Gary Lennox who, one night, shows up at his apartment, asking him to drive him to the Mexican border. A day later, it turns out Lennox may or may not have killer his wife, Marlowe gets arrested because he may or may not be an accomplice and released after Lennox may or may not have been found dead in Mexico. Long Goodbye is very much the grandfather of that hazy kind of Californian mystery, exemplified by something like Under the Silver Lake or Inherent Vice and parodied by something like Big Lebowski. Long Goodbye never drift into the outright psychedelic sensibilities of those movies but it has a very similarly nonchalant attitude towards its underlying murder mystery.

Straight up, Altman sets up what could very easily be the premise of a classic hard boiled noir, there's the detective, there's a large supporting cast, almost all of whom have something to hide, there's lost money, mysterious blondes, corrupt doctors, mobsters... Altman, however, seems much more interested in the stories personalities than he is in its criminal machinations. Arguably the most striking of these personalities being Marlowe himself, portrayed by Elliot Gould. Marlowe projects a casual coolness that makes him probably one of the most memorable protagonists of the genre. There is a zen like nonchalance to the lanky, chain smoking PI that sets him apart, from the hard boiled macho investigators of more traditional noir fare while not quite reaching Big Lebowski's Dude's slacker ambivalence or Inherent Vice's Doc Sportello's stoned bumbling. Marlowe cares, he's just not the type to get excited. His investigation has him bounce off a variety of other colourful characters, among them an alcoholic writer, his wife and an eccentric and truly nasty crime boss who comes off a bit like a less foul mouthed version of Dennis Hopper's Frank Booth from Blue Velvet. Marlowe, and by extension the movie, follows its central mystery, albeit at a slow, meandering pace, eventually even solves it, even if, at that point, you might have very well have forgotten what it was even about, exactly. Long Goodbye is not by any means plotless, nor does it ever demonstratively withhold answers the way Inherent Vice or Under the Silver Lake do, it just treats the actual criminal investigation side of things as strictly secondary to investigating a time, a place, and its people. Despite all that, there are definitely moments of genuine tension in Long Goodbye, most of them involving the aforementioned mob boss who, despite being somewhat goofy, makes for a genuinely threatening and unambiguously dangerous presence.
In addition to that is also the ending which briefly, but very effectively, puts the personal story of betrayal that had been simmering in the background for the course of the entire movie into focus and is all the more shocking for it. As much as Philipp Marlowe's world weary calmness is played up for most of the story, it's these rare moments that characterize him as more than just a too cool for school proto hipster.

Carried by a stellar performance from its lead actor depicting what has to be one of the most memorable detective characters in cinematic history, an equally strong supporting cast of memorable characters played by some amazing performers and a mystery that serves as a pretext to have one bounce off the other, Long Goodbye is a very enjoyable movie. It bends the format of the classic detective story to frame a place, a time, a lifestyle and most importantly a small handful of people and make them come to life vividly. Long Goodbye is a lazy noir that's serves not only as a precursor to an entire genre of movies, but as a lively and engaging watch all on its own.
 
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Xprimentyl

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Powder Blue: Ugh / Great

A film about several strangers, all in varying points of depression, dissatisfaction and distress with their lives, collide in myriad ways on the evening of Christmas Eve in Los Angeles.

For this film to be as star-studded as it is, it shocks me that they all agreed to do something this mediocre and bland that clearly goes out of its way to tug at your heart strings and send, I duuno, SOME message about SOMETHING. It came out in 2008, so it appears to have been trying to mimic the success and impact of 2004's Crash, a drama with a star-studded cast about a group of strangers in different points in their lives who find themselves unwittingly interconnected, but that film is vastly superior in pretty much every way. Hell, I just remembered, Crash was set in Los Angeles, too. Yeah, Power Blue is a shameless knockoff. Do not recommend.
 

Breakdown

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Sep 5, 2014
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The Last Duel

I thought It would be boring, but actually it was pretty good. Great acting.

True Grit (1969)

I think on balance the 2010 version is probably better, but I prefer John Wayne's performance as Rooster Cogburn.
 
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gorfias

Unrealistic but happy
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May 13, 2009
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On Amazon Prime, "Without Remorse". You won't remember it in t minus 15 seconds. This feels totally by the number and there isn't a single surprise. And honestly, the Punisher would eat this guy for breakfast. BUT... if you are in the mood for a military action shooter, it is competent. C.
 
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Xprimentyl

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On Amazon Prime, "Without Remorse". You won't remember it in t minus 15 seconds. This feels totally by the number and there isn't a single surprise. And honestly, the Punisher would eat this guy for breakfast. BUT... if you are in the mood for a military action shooter, it is competent. C.
I said the exact same thing. This movie is sugar-free, vanilla-flavored gruel in it's complete unwillingness to leave the rails at any point. Not the most offensive thing ever, but easily in my top 20 that I could forget I ever saw without any regret, i.e.: at no point will I ever wonder "what was that film Michael B. Jordan was in?" in regards to this entirely forgettable outing.
 
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Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
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Feb 9, 2012
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Belfast

Coming of age story that is very sentimental without being corny and feels 100% authentic (even as some events come across as being filtered by a childish perspective). It felt much more honest than something like Tender Bar, which also seemed to be grasping for meaning and trying to make a bigger deal out of itself. Belfast seems more unassuming, even though its real-life inspiration - writer/director Kenneth Branagh himself - is much more of a bigger deal than... uh... the guy that wrote Tender Bar. We get a single funny reference about how Branagh will one day direct Thor and that's about it, as far as the movie is concerned he's just some kid in 1969 Belfast.
 

Gordon_4

The Big Engine
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Apr 3, 2020
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On Amazon Prime, "Without Remorse". You won't remember it in t minus 15 seconds. This feels totally by the number and there isn't a single surprise. And honestly, the Punisher would eat this guy for breakfast. BUT... if you are in the mood for a military action shooter, it is competent. C.
For some reason, I kept thinking that was a series like Jack Ryan. Although my grandfather read most of these books back when Clancy was drawing breath and I don't think he rated 'Without Remorse' as being much more than a decent military pot boiler.
 
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gorfias

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For some reason, I kept thinking that was a series like Jack Ryan. Although my grandfather read most of these books back when Clancy was drawing breath and I don't think he rated 'Without Remorse' as being much more than a decent military pot boiler.
I recall a couple of amusing scenes in both the Jack Ryan movies and the series. I don't know why Cruise's Ryan was so mean to this girl in a bar scene that her brothers try to avenge, but it is memorable. I recall a few flashes from the series
like when he stabs a car tire with a fork
but mostly, I agree and think you are correct.
I recently had a conversation in which I compared The Book of Boba Fett vs. Peacemaker. The Book of Boba Fett felt like content to me. Someone said, "time to make the donuts" and we got this product. Vs. Peacemaker. James Gunn had a fun thought and vision and wanted to make this series. You can feel there is some creative passion there. "Without Remorse" seems like product to me, even a bit more so than Reacher.
 

BrawlMan

Lover of beat'em ups.
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Without Remorse has critical dissonance. Critics find it mediocre or dislike it, but a majority of audiences love it. I thought the movie is good overall. I admit to getting excited that we're getting Rainbow Six movies after this. Not a perfect movie, but just a regular good B grade action movie. I cared more for what was going on in this movie than any of the Punisher movies or The Punisher TV series. Same thing for the later Jason Bourne movies.
 

Piscian

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Apr 28, 2020
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Night House

I watched Night House the other night. Fascinating film. I really enjoy this kind of film that gives you a straight forward story, but also offer you the choice look deeper and analyze whether or not it was real or what the actual meaning of it all was. This type of film is so rare I'm scratching my head of another film to compare it to. 2001:a space odyssey come to mind. I rewatched the final scene probably 4 times now because I found his final words so haunting. He reads the note and treats it carefully and his hands are shaking. Is he toying with her?

The movie keeps telling you its a demon and its evil and that it made that guy do all the murder, but theres something about the way he talks to her in the final that implies zero malice. hes almost kind of sad and forelorn. His hands shake when he hands her the gun. When she asks where her husband is at. He looks off sadly and said "gone...but you already knew that." and he says "it doesnt matter, let go". If youre just watching the movie on the surface, she died, came back and a demon or death is after her. However, I wonder if great swathes of the film are actually a dream. Maybe all of it. Maybe this whole film is her going through grief and the voice is trying to get her to move on. I found the whole thing very compelling.

Stir Of Echoes

I rewatched this for the first time in 10-20 years. It still holds up. Its a strange film we rarely get that is a supernatural thriller more so than a horror film. It doesn't spend that much time scaring you as it does acting as a character study of this new york schlub slowly losing his mind, unable to deal with suddenly becoming clairvoyant. Still good, but not quite a 10/10.
 
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Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
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Feb 9, 2012
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Spiral or Saw 9

Mediocre cop drama that sounds like one of my joke fanfic projects on AO3. Every line is begging for you to load the shotgun and put it out of its misery. And Chris Rock is basically doing his standup routine regardless of whatever's happening in the scene, like he was green screened over the real actor. I rate it as the funniest Saw.