Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

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Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
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Apr 10, 2020
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The Assignment

A hitman is turned into a woman by a surgeon avenging her brother's death. Bizarre premise but the movie seems unsure what to do with it. The hitman gets over it pretty quickly and the gender reassignment doesn't really affect the plot (EDIT: scratch that, he smuggles a gun in his makeshift vagina at one point) nor is it convincingly justified (from the surgeon's perspective, I mean... She has a spiel about correcting machismo, even though machismo doesn't have anything to do with her brother's death). It's as weird and random as it sounds.

Michelle Rodriguez plays the lead. She's not very convincingly male as Frank, and looks too much like a woman as post-op Frank. Sigourney Weaver plays the surgeon in the worst performance of her life. Half the movie is her being interviewed about the plot, and engaging in terrible dialogue. Pacing and tension are nonexistent. She seems to be playing the character as a joke, maybe going for B-movie mad scientist camp, but the rest of the movie is played straight.

What little action there is plays out in dull montages and summaries that are routinely dispensed with workaday boredom. Could've used more action, or played up the campiness, or delved into the physical/psychological ramifications of such a fucked up situation. But no, it's just a weird premise with a dull, uninspired, sometimes confusing execution.
 
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Thaluikhain

Elite Member
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Apr 4, 2020
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The Assignment

A hitman is turned into a woman by a surgeon avenging her brother's death. Bizarre premise but the movie seems unsure what to do with it. The hitman gets over it pretty quickly and the gender reassignment doesn't really affect the plot (EDIT: scratch that, he smuggles a gun in his makeshift vagina at one point) nor is it convincingly justified (from the surgeon's perspective, I mean... She has a spiel about correcting machismo, even though machismo doesn't have anything to do with her brother's death). It's as weird and random as it sounds.
Is that a remake of that British thing about a transgender assassin that was briefly popular a few years back? Transwomen as assassins being rather more niche than trans people in reality and assassins in movies would suggest.
 

Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
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Apr 10, 2020
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Is that a remake of that British thing about a transgender assassin that was briefly popular a few years back? Transwomen as assassins being rather more niche than trans people in reality and assassins in movies would suggest.
I don't think so. Besides surgery is against his will and treated as a punishment (villainous argumentation aside). Only other movie that does something similar saves it for a twist ending so I'd rather not bring it up, especially since it's actually quite good. Unlike this crap.
 

Piscian

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Apr 28, 2020
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The Assignment

A hitman is turned into a woman by a surgeon avenging her brother's death. Bizarre premise but the movie seems unsure what to do with it. The hitman gets over it pretty quickly and the gender reassignment doesn't really affect the plot (EDIT: scratch that, he smuggles a gun in his makeshift vagina at one point) nor is it convincingly justified (from the surgeon's perspective, I mean... She has a spiel about correcting machismo, even though machismo doesn't have anything to do with her brother's death). It's as weird and random as it sounds.

Michelle Rodriguez plays the lead. She's not very convincingly male as Frank, and looks too much like a woman as post-op Frank. Sigourney Weaver plays the surgeon in the worst performance of her life. Half the movie is her being interviewed about the plot, and engaging in terrible dialogue. Pacing and tension are nonexistent. She seems to be playing the character as a joke, maybe going for B-movie mad scientist camp, but the rest of the movie is played straight.

What little action there is plays out in dull montages and summaries that are routinely dispensed with workaday boredom. Could've used more action, or played up the campiness, or delved into the physical/psychological ramifications of such a fucked up situation. But no, it's just a weird premise with a dull, uninspired, sometimes confusing execution.
I recall this one coming out and skipping it. It got a ton of backlash for being pretty tonedeaf for the times, with the rise of LGBTQ+ and gender role issues in the media. The idea that the most cruel punishment you could give this macho assassin is to make them a woman. The whole premise was just weird and awkward. The trailer did not do it any favors being pretty cringy. Good to know I didn't miss out.
 

Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
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Apr 10, 2020
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Argentina
I recall this one coming out and skipping it. It got a ton of backlash for being pretty tonedeaf for the times, with the rise of LGBTQ+ and gender role issues in the media. The idea that the most cruel punishment you could give this macho assassin is to make them a woman.
I mean... Yeah, it would be an ironic punishment to turn a misogynist into a woman. Same premise as Switch. Same ballpark as that Twilight Zone episode about the white racist suddenly becoming black. But here it doesn't work for a number of reasons.

1. Frank isn't a misogynist. He never gets that "Wow he's such a macho pig" intro. He's just some contract killer. No prejudice or ideology are at stake, he kills for money and as far as we see only kills men. The only interaction he has with a woman before being turned into one is a one night stand and he behaves perfectly courteously the morning after.

2. The surgeon has a long spiel about changing Frank's violent nature ("free you from your cage of machismo" or something) by turning him into a woman... This doesn't track at all for a couple of reasons. First of all, if violence is genetic, she isn't changing it by chopping his dick, carving a vagina and sowing breast implants. Second: the surgeon is a woman, and she illegally butchers people for a living. So much for her theory about men and violence.

3. Frank doesn't really have an arc. He never has to learn anything about being a woman (because he never had any inner or outward conflict with them) and aside the scene where he discovers his new body and another one where he consults another surgeon about ever being a man again, it doesn't really affect the plot, which is strictly about gunning the baddies down. He tarts up a bit to pass for a prostitute at one point (it doesn't work) and smuggles a gun in his makeshift vagina. That's it. And now that I've written that again I'm reminded of Machete Kills, also starring Rodriguez, in which a woman also pulls an improbably large gun out of there. Must be some kind of record for Michelle.

4. Rodriguez plays Frank both as a man and as a woman (or a man altered to look like one, since his identity remains untouched). And I dunno. Stapling a beard on Rodriguez doesn't make her look any more like a man than the stone throwers in Life of Brian. Male Frank should've been played by a different actor, to hone in on the post-op shock. Frank just looks "off" until then. Or get a man and then disguise him as a woman for post-op Frank. Would probably look more realistic that way.
 

BrawlMan

Lover of beat'em ups.
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The Road to El Dorado. I never saw it in theaters, but saw it on TV a couple times. Beautiful movie, and one of Dreamwork's best 2D movies. A lost art. The hand drawn animation in this movie is insane. I know of all the production troubles, but despite this I believed they churned out a good movie. It's sad it never got a sequel, but many kids grew up watching this and consider it classic. Before anyone starts, Prince of Egypt is the better movie, but I don't care. Spirit I barely remember, and Sinbad...I got nothing other than seeing it once. El Dorado is about two con men from Spain getting the map to El Dorado from a rigged dice game, and get there by stowawaying on a boat and stealing a long boat. When they get their, they are mistaken as and pose a gods to the Aztec civilization in the city of gold. I usually dislike most movies that involve mistaken identity or the character(s) pretending to be people they're not. Usually, because it leads to cringe comedy, bad punchlines, scenes and gags that drag on for way too long, or the plot only works because everyone is stupid and lacks common sense. Thankfully, El Dorado avoids most of these problems. I'm actually laughing from start to finish.

Miguel and Tulio are a hilarious duo, and when Chel gets introduce (an Aztec who catches early on that she knows they're not gods and wants in on the con), they all become a treat. I won't say anything else, but that it's a good adventure movie that some heart put in to it and I find this film better than a majority of Dreamwork's later 3D outputs.


 
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gorfias

Unrealistic but happy
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Never heard of this before. Kinda a buried treasure. "Parallel" (2018) on Amazon Prime. I'd post the trailer but if you can get to see this? My advice? Don't watch the trailer so you don't spoil anything for yourself.

Basically, a group of pals discover a portal to the multiverse where they can go to realities where they exist, but are different in a number of ways.

B+.
 
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twistedmic

Elite Member
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Apr 5, 2020
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The Road to El Dorado. I never saw it in theaters, but saw it on TV a couple times. Beautiful movie, and one of Dreamwork's best 2D movies. A lost art. The hand drawn animation in this movie is insane. I know of all the production troubles, but despite this I believed they churned out a good movie. It's sad it never got a sequel, but many kids grew up watching this and consider it classic. Before anyone starts, Prince of Egypt is the better movie, but I don't care. Spirit I barely remember, and Sinbad...I got nothing other than seeing it once. El Dorado is about two con men from Spain getting the map to El Dorado from a rigged dice game, and get there by stowawaying on a boat and stealing a long boat. When they get their, they are mistaken as and pose a gods to the Aztec civilization in the city of gold. I usually dislike most movies that involve mistaken identity or the character(s) pretending to be people they're not. Usually, because it leads to cringe comedy, bad punchlines, scenes and gags that drag on for way too long, or the plot only works because everyone is stupid and lacks common sense. Thankfully, El Dorado avoids most of these problems. I'm actually laughing from start to finish.

Miguel and Tulio are a hilarious duo, and when Chel gets introduce (an Aztec who catches early on that she knows they're not gods and wants in on the con), they all become a treat. I won't say anything else, but that it's a good adventure movie that some heart put in to it and I find this film better than a majority of Dreamwork's later 3D outputs.


What’s funny is they didn’t even plan on stowing away. That was just an accident/bad luck.
 

Xprimentyl

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The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It: Exactly what you’d expect / Great

I’m easy to please, very difficult to appreciably disappoint, so when a film series has gotten to the point that its very existence exhausts my patience (Fast and Furious,) it’s time to hang it up. I like a good horror movie; this was not that. Somehow it manages to try too hard by trying too little, or vice versa; that’s how absolutely vanilla this outing was. Nothing about this film is unexpected. The underlying premise (once revealed) is actually more interesting than what made it to screen with cheap jump scares and forced moments of anxiety. You can feel they were going for cheap scares because “scary movie” and not an engaging film. Long story short, this was another “Conjuring” film, almost entirely unremarkable
 
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stroopwafel

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Apr 29, 2020
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The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It: Exactly what you’d expect / Great

I’m easy to please, very difficult to appreciably disappoint, so when a film series has gotten to the point that its very existence exhausts my patience (Fast and Furious,) it’s time to hang it up. I like a good horror movie; this was not that. Somehow it manages to try too hard by trying too little, or vice versa; that’s how absolutely vanilla this outing was. Nothing about this film is unexpected. The underlying premise (once revealed) is actually more interesting than what made it to screen with cheap jump scares and forced moments of anxiety. You can feel they were going for cheap scares because “scary movie” and not an engaging film. Long story short, this was another “Conjuring” film, almost entirely unremarkable
Totally agree. Saw this film the other day and it probably couldn't be more formulaic if it tried. The Exorcist is like 42 years old now yet here we are still watching discount versions of that movie.
 
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Xprimentyl

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Totally agree. Saw this film the other day and it probably couldn't be more formulaic if it tried. The Exorcist is like 42 years old now yet here we are still watching discount versions of that movie.
It was pretty sad overall. The premise of a priest's illegitimate child counterintuitively getting into intense Satan worship should have been explored much further, i.e.: leave out the cheesy jump scares and actually tell THAT story.
 

gorfias

Unrealistic but happy
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Spontaneous on Amazon Prime... though I think it is leaving for now.
Interesting this came out before COVID. It's about a High School senior experiencing her classmates spontaneously exploding. Reminds me of a fantastic mid-1980s comic series called "Moon Shadow". We can try to explain death... bargain with it even. But given its randomness, we can and should live every moment as if it is our last. You never know. It could be. 7/10.
 

BrawlMan

Lover of beat'em ups.
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The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It: Exactly what you’d expect / Great

I’m easy to please, very difficult to appreciably disappoint, so when a film series has gotten to the point that its very existence exhausts my patience (Fast and Furious,) it’s time to hang it up. I like a good horror movie; this was not that. Somehow it manages to try too hard by trying too little, or vice versa; that’s how absolutely vanilla this outing was. Nothing about this film is unexpected. The underlying premise (once revealed) is actually more interesting than what made it to screen with cheap jump scares and forced moments of anxiety. You can feel they were going for cheap scares because “scary movie” and not an engaging film. Long story short, this was another “Conjuring” film, almost entirely unremarkable
I never even liked the first movie. How's the franchise still going at this point? I know about the Annabelle spin-offs, but this is getting more ridiculous and even that. I consider Furious 7 the final movie in that. Particular franchise. Any movie after that is just glorified fanfiction. From what I heard, even a lot of Fast And Furious fans are not liking the ninth film as far as reception goes. Early word of mouth is not good.