Does life after break-up carry on?

[me.vicky]

I'm pretty sure my boyfriend and I are about to break up. We still have strong feelings for each other but my parents pronounced doom upon the relationship and so Alan doesn't feel right about continuing our relationship without their approval. I have to ask: I've never been in a break-up before (Alan is my first) so how exactly am I supposed to carry on in everyday life without breaking down? How exactly am I supposed to BE about all this?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Tiger King]

what!? he wants to break up because YOUR parents dont agree with it?

your relationship has nothing to do with your parents, its who YOU want to be with not them.
also i really think alan shouldnt feel intimidated, he should work hard to earn the respect of your parents.
dont let others dictate your happiness

 

[me.vicky]

@carlsberg,

You have hit the nail on the head as far as how I feel regarding the whole situation; it is absolutely infuriating that NOBODY is listening to ME about any of this.

 

[Ando85]

Although I agree that parents approval shouldn't be the reason for breaking up, breaking up isn't really all that bad after awhile. You might be upset for a few days but as time passes you move on. It isn't the end of the world.

 

[Slash Dementia]

Your parents approval shouldn't mean much at all, and I don't know why your boyfriend would end it because of this. I'm sorry, but to me that close to as bad as my brother's friend's girlfriend breaking up with him because their horoscopes don't match up.

If he's not listening to your side on this, I don't know what he's doing. It seems to me--and this is just a guess--that he's finding a way out. He should care to try to work things out better rather than give up because of your parents. It's you and him, not you, Alan and your parents. Just try talking to him again.

The break up is as bad as you want it to be, or it can be few days of mourning it and then you're off into the world again. Don't be afraid of it. Find out more of what you love doing and do it; spend time with friends more often; do anything really. You just carry on because you can, we shouldn't be dependent on a person for happiness or expect someone to carry us (not saying that you're feeling like that).

The feeling will pass and you'll get better, but it just takes time.

 

[nukethetuna]

Hah. Reminds me of an old predicament I had. My first long-term girlfriend broke up with me because her parents didn't approve of us dating... after over a year!

It's not a fun situation. Personally, I believe that other people (even parents) should have no influence on how a relationship works (outside general concern for their daughter's happiness/safety), but unfortunately, not everyone agrees to that. It seems like your parents approval is an important component to your relationship for your boyfriend, and unless you can convince him otherwise, you might just be incompatible.

That said... it's alright to cry, it's alright to be sad, it's alright to miss him. You'll be surprised how much time will help you get over this. Whatever you do, don't lock yourself into a proverbial funk. After a little while, keep trying to see new things and meet new people, and soon that feeling that "there's no one else for you", will start to disappear. Everything won't seem so dark and colorless, and you'll realize that there are still an infinite number of opportunities and people that can make you happy.

tldr; I agree, sucky situation, but chin-up. It'll get better.

 

[Svenparty]

I'm pretty sure my boyfriend and I are about to break up. We still have strong feelings for each other but my parents pronounced doom upon the relationship and so Alan doesn't feel right about continuing our relationship without their approval. I have to ask: I've never been in a break-up before (Alan is my first) so how exactly am I supposed to carry on in everyday life without breaking down? How exactly am I supposed to BE about all this?

Thanks in advance.

It will hurt first of all but after a mourning period life will go on and you will learn to love someone else again. It's never as difficult as it seems and if he's only going to dump you because of his parents then he seems like someone who needs their full approval: More fool him.

 

[Tiger King]

@carlsberg,

You have hit the nail on the head as far as how I feel regarding the whole situation; it is absolutely infuriating that NOBODY is listening to ME about any of this.

best tell your bf how you feel, be very clear when you do but be supportive and give him the confidence to see this isnt a big enough deal to break up over.

good luck