Random person in World of Warcraft talking me into cybersex and turning out to be one of those S&M types that wanted me to command her to give herself a urine enema.
Embarrassing sex-related stories
- Thread starter Relish in Chaos
- Start date
A few weeks ago me and my Brother were watching the Wales vs England Rugby game when we heared the odvi sound of the 2 next door having it off, We try and ignore the sounds but eventually it gets to the part where the England try has been disaloud and myself and my brother stand up and cheer.
We also hear a cheer from next door... followed by a slam and shouting.
The male of the pair was apparently listening to the game on his head phones via the radio and was hiding them in his long hair. He couldn't help himself when wales Won the game. The FEMALE of the two, was less happy that he'd been ignoring her and listening to 30 Sweaty men run at each other covered in mud.
Me and my Brother were happy because Wales beat England. So at least that.
We also hear a cheer from next door... followed by a slam and shouting.
The male of the pair was apparently listening to the game on his head phones via the radio and was hiding them in his long hair. He couldn't help himself when wales Won the game. The FEMALE of the two, was less happy that he'd been ignoring her and listening to 30 Sweaty men run at each other covered in mud.
Me and my Brother were happy because Wales beat England. So at least that.
i only have two weird sex stories, not really embarassing
one was going over to this girls house, fucking her, then we got dressed and watched a movie on her couch. shortly after the credits rolled, her then-unmentioned boyfriend showed up. she quickly explained i was just a friend from her class, and that i was totally gay. he believed her. I know that the REASON he believed her is that he and i had been flirting online. So she went to sleep, he and I played halo on the couch, then I decided that these two deserved eachother, blew him, and vanished into the night
the other weird thing happened when i hooked up with another girl. I was going down on her, shes making lots of noise, suddenly her dog starts whining and scratching outside her bedroom door. It got loud enough to be distracting, and just as im about to say something, she interjects with "he's just used to being in here". I left
one was going over to this girls house, fucking her, then we got dressed and watched a movie on her couch. shortly after the credits rolled, her then-unmentioned boyfriend showed up. she quickly explained i was just a friend from her class, and that i was totally gay. he believed her. I know that the REASON he believed her is that he and i had been flirting online. So she went to sleep, he and I played halo on the couch, then I decided that these two deserved eachother, blew him, and vanished into the night
the other weird thing happened when i hooked up with another girl. I was going down on her, shes making lots of noise, suddenly her dog starts whining and scratching outside her bedroom door. It got loud enough to be distracting, and just as im about to say something, she interjects with "he's just used to being in here". I left
This whole post was awesome. we should be friends nowPalfreyfish said:
fuck the adware captcha!
Don't worry, I'll do it.Crimbo23 said:
Next time, edit your posts saying "Please delete" and report them. =P
When I was 15 or something, I put my penis in the vacuum cleaner. Thing is it clocked it, so there wasn't enough air intake to cool the vacuum cleaner, so it overheated, so it blew up, so my parents had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. I've always suspected they know what happened.
You wont get the really embarassing ones, cuz their not for public entertainment but for a dark room in my head that shall never be entered by anyone other than myself. But hey, at least i didn't make this one up to get some e-fame on a board full of underage nerd-virgins. Here we go..
I met a girl in world of warcraft.. yeah i know, shut up, you're no better and you know it. I was bored, home alone and watching porn on my second monitor. Since i was in the mood, i started flirting and whispering her some erotic stuff and who would've thought.. she replied in kind and so we were chatting all night about all kinds of sex-related stuff and making up fantasies (i'll leave the content to your imagination). It all ended with us deciding that we really should meet IRL, because she was kind of inexperienced and wanted me to introduce her to a lot of stuff we were talking about before. We exchanged pictures and i thought she was okay looking and had a nice, big ass (which is a plus for me). Unfortunately she doesn't live in my country. Lol, so we decided for her to fly across half a continent to my city. We split the price of the ticket and the next weekend she really flew over and i was excited as hell, since i had a full weekend with a young girl that wanted me to fuck her in 100 different ways ahead of me. I went to the airport to pick her up and boy.. i was so excited. Everytime a hot chick left the arrival doors i was like:" Please god let this be her!" While i was waiting, a really fat and fucking ugly chick came out of the door and i tought:"Haha, imagine how fucked up it'd be if it was her". And then she looked around, saw me, smiled and walked towards me..
So here i was with an ugly ass woman i wouldn't touch with gloves on, who was a thousand miles away from her home and HAD to stay at my place for at least two days. The only place she could sleep in was my bed. Oh boy.. that weekend turned out to be nothing like i expected it to be. So fucking awkward..
I met a girl in world of warcraft.. yeah i know, shut up, you're no better and you know it. I was bored, home alone and watching porn on my second monitor. Since i was in the mood, i started flirting and whispering her some erotic stuff and who would've thought.. she replied in kind and so we were chatting all night about all kinds of sex-related stuff and making up fantasies (i'll leave the content to your imagination). It all ended with us deciding that we really should meet IRL, because she was kind of inexperienced and wanted me to introduce her to a lot of stuff we were talking about before. We exchanged pictures and i thought she was okay looking and had a nice, big ass (which is a plus for me). Unfortunately she doesn't live in my country. Lol, so we decided for her to fly across half a continent to my city. We split the price of the ticket and the next weekend she really flew over and i was excited as hell, since i had a full weekend with a young girl that wanted me to fuck her in 100 different ways ahead of me. I went to the airport to pick her up and boy.. i was so excited. Everytime a hot chick left the arrival doors i was like:" Please god let this be her!" While i was waiting, a really fat and fucking ugly chick came out of the door and i tought:"Haha, imagine how fucked up it'd be if it was her". And then she looked around, saw me, smiled and walked towards me..
So here i was with an ugly ass woman i wouldn't touch with gloves on, who was a thousand miles away from her home and HAD to stay at my place for at least two days. The only place she could sleep in was my bed. Oh boy.. that weekend turned out to be nothing like i expected it to be. So fucking awkward..
Why thank you8-Bit_Jack said:
and yes, yes we should. And yeah, I don't want advertising in my Captchas, I hate them enough as it is.
Sounds like my cat. She has been known to attempt to cuddle while my spouse and I are having sex. Or, if we try to shut the door, she'll scratch on the door and yowl until we let her in.8-Bit_Jack said:
I have none, as no sexy times for me
However, my best friend has told me of a few, and I have it confirmed from his girlfriend that they are all actually genuine, which frankly astonishes me.
First up, their first time. As I understand it, he got bored of thrusting and started moving to the rhythm of 'drip drip drop little April showers', while singing said song in her ear... She then bit him on the thingy, having no experience in that area and apparently quite a small jaw, at which point they gave up.
Another time, he put a condom on and they started going at it (I think) when he decided to go and look up sex positions on the web. She looked over a minute or so later to see him playing Minecraft.
And finally, the time her mum caught them. They were naked when her mum came into the house, so she said to him to tidy the room up while she quickly put some clothes on and went downstairs to see her mum... when she came back up, he had 'tidied up' by... putting a shirt on and pretending to casually read a magazine on her bed, said magazine conveniently concealing his penis. After which, she had to go and fetch her sister from school, but hadn't had time to find her underwear, resulting in what she tells me was a very strange experience as she walked around knowing she had no underwear on.
However, my best friend has told me of a few, and I have it confirmed from his girlfriend that they are all actually genuine, which frankly astonishes me.
First up, their first time. As I understand it, he got bored of thrusting and started moving to the rhythm of 'drip drip drop little April showers', while singing said song in her ear... She then bit him on the thingy, having no experience in that area and apparently quite a small jaw, at which point they gave up.
Another time, he put a condom on and they started going at it (I think) when he decided to go and look up sex positions on the web. She looked over a minute or so later to see him playing Minecraft.
And finally, the time her mum caught them. They were naked when her mum came into the house, so she said to him to tidy the room up while she quickly put some clothes on and went downstairs to see her mum... when she came back up, he had 'tidied up' by... putting a shirt on and pretending to casually read a magazine on her bed, said magazine conveniently concealing his penis. After which, she had to go and fetch her sister from school, but hadn't had time to find her underwear, resulting in what she tells me was a very strange experience as she walked around knowing she had no underwear on.
Hmm... Alright, I guess I'll need to share, since I've read thus far. Was visiting a girl, watching a film, and got a bit intimate. But she'd asked a friend to join us earlier. The friend in question knocked on the door when the girl in question was busy licking my chest... That got awkward, but not very bad. But I don't think the friend noticed.
Other than that, things have pretty much been happening around me, not with me (though there's a sex act you can only find me saying, according to google). The girl from earlier had spent about an hour in a room with a tie on the doorknob. When she got out, she states, in front of about 6 people "I need a toothbrush" before vanishing. Another friend went to high-five the guy, but stopped and went "I'd high five you, but I don't know where your hand's been..."
Ah, good times.
Other than that, things have pretty much been happening around me, not with me (though there's a sex act you can only find me saying, according to google). The girl from earlier had spent about an hour in a room with a tie on the doorknob. When she got out, she states, in front of about 6 people "I need a toothbrush" before vanishing. Another friend went to high-five the guy, but stopped and went "I'd high five you, but I don't know where your hand's been..."
Ah, good times.
