Escape to the Movies: Breaking Dawn, Part 1

Towels

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KB Rocker said:
I accidentally broke my sisters $40 bracelet and I told her that I would do anything she wanted in order to pay her back. Unfortunately I wasn't aware that this was coming out . So of course of all the things she could have asked for out of everything in the world......She not only made me watch this with her and her boyfriend who made out the whole time she also made me take them on opening night.
Sounds like she now owes you $40.
 

CrimsonBlaze

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LordLundar said:
CrimsonBlaze said:
For anyone who actually read these books, does the last book really need two movies? Yes I get it, the last book is a thick one, but I only raise this question because it only took less than 2 years to push out 3 movies and now it seems like they will take more than 3 years to deliver only 2 movies.
Haven't read it (thank god), but to me it seems like they said "Harry Potter did it, so we can too!"
What? That's crap. The idea that they can make more money from splitting a book in half is just ridiculous. Still, I'd like to hear from someone who read the books to know for sure if it is justified.
 

Strain42

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They're making a Rampage movie? I'm oddly hopeful about this.

I just hope that when making the film they remember that Rampage is a campy, fun series filled with humor and satire around the whole giant monsters destroying cities thing.

Get that into film and I'd say we're good.
 

Sperium 3000

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If a Rampage movie really happens, it's probably going to rock so as long as they don't try to take it seriously. Also, giant humanoid lobster, let's make it happen.
 

klaynexas3

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lord.jeff said:
imei2011 said:
It's almost over just one more movie and it's eventual dvd release, and then we can all move past this... right?....right?
Nope, something as popular as Twilight is going to get a game.
and knowing how the crowd is for twilight, it will be released as an app for smartphones. chances are, there are already about 50 of them. and that's if we're lucky.
 

klaynexas3

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SilverUchiha said:
I just want to say that if they rewrite the final movie (Breaking Dawn Part 2) to be that Bella gives birth to Blade (Wesley Snipes in particular) then the franchise might be worth a damn because then we all know they will die a terrible death at the hands of a more set in mythos vampire... who also is a badass.
well if the baby came out as Blade, then clearly the rest of the movie wouldn't be about how Blade will kill them all; it will be about the controversy of Bella cheating on Edward so soon with a black man. and then we'll get some Mormon message about how only men can have more than one spouse and women need to stay in their place and in the kitchen.
 

Frankfurter4444

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I was hoping for some of that unbridled Bob rage that made the last three reviews so much fun. I guess there isn't much left to rage about at this point. Then again, if the 3Ds mellowed you out, put it away before the next one. Pissed off at Twilight Bob is great fun to watch.
 

walrusaurus

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When he said that the movie abandoned all of the sappy "I MUST HAZ MAN" thing in favor of... i actually got a little excited for a split second that when i am inevitably dragged to this movie that i'd be in for an inept, but underworld-esque action movie. Sadly 1.5 seconds later my hopes were crushed. Hooray two more hours of obnoxious moralizing!
 

SilverUchiha

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klaynexas3 said:
SilverUchiha said:
I just want to say that if they rewrite the final movie (Breaking Dawn Part 2) to be that Bella gives birth to Blade (Wesley Snipes in particular) then the franchise might be worth a damn because then we all know they will die a terrible death at the hands of a more set in mythos vampire... who also is a badass.
well if the baby came out as Blade, then clearly the rest of the movie wouldn't be about how Blade will kill them all; it will be about the controversy of Bella cheating on Edward so soon with a black man. and then we'll get some Mormon message about how only men can have more than one spouse and women need to stay in their place and in the kitchen.
...

...

I gives you internet cookie. You took my funny and made a better funny. :D
 

brinvixen

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CrimsonBlaze said:
LordLundar said:
CrimsonBlaze said:
For anyone who actually read these books, does the last book really need two movies? Yes I get it, the last book is a thick one, but I only raise this question because it only took less than 2 years to push out 3 movies and now it seems like they will take more than 3 years to deliver only 2 movies.
Haven't read it (thank god), but to me it seems like they said "Harry Potter did it, so we can too!"
What? That's crap. The idea that they can make more money from splitting a book in half is just ridiculous. Still, I'd like to hear from someone who read the books to know for sure if it is justified.
I've read the books, and no ... there is no justification at all for splitting them.

That last book is undoubtedly the worst in the series. Not just because they got progressively worse as they went on, but because NOTHING HAPPENS in the last book. Oh yeah, there's some of the stuff you've heard about (violent sex, pregnancy, etc), and could be considered interesting if you enjoy being disturbed. But that all happens in the first half. That second half of the book is a complete LETDOWN. Without any specific spoilers, it's just a complete build-up to something that could be decidedly epic, just for it to end like "ho-hum never mind ... and they all live happily ever after".

Either they're going to pad this movie with shit that didn't happen (which would HELP) or they're going to work the hell out of the source material (like something you'd originally cut HAS to stay in order to meet time quota).

They split it in two for the money. I think Harry Potter is guilty of the same thing honestly, but at least Harry Potter is GOOD. Twilight is shit.
 

klaynexas3

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Dec 30, 2009
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SilverUchiha said:
klaynexas3 said:
SilverUchiha said:
I just want to say that if they rewrite the final movie (Breaking Dawn Part 2) to be that Bella gives birth to Blade (Wesley Snipes in particular) then the franchise might be worth a damn because then we all know they will die a terrible death at the hands of a more set in mythos vampire... who also is a badass.
well if the baby came out as Blade, then clearly the rest of the movie wouldn't be about how Blade will kill them all; it will be about the controversy of Bella cheating on Edward so soon with a black man. and then we'll get some Mormon message about how only men can have more than one spouse and women need to stay in their place and in the kitchen.
...

...

I gives you internet cookie. You took my funny and made a better funny. :D
you keep the cookie, i only made a funny because of yours, so i'll let you keep most of the credit :)
 

Aureliano

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Heh. Jacob switches teams. You mean he's heterosexual in this one? *rimshot!*

Seriously though, looks like I'm staying out of the theaters this weekend. I'd see the penguin movie but I have a rule that's even more exception-free than 'never see Twilight movies'. That rule is 'Never ever ever EVER see a new movie that has Robin Williams.'
 

artanis_neravar

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Ashoten said:
Wait. If the wearwolves despise a vampire/human hybrid then why did they invest so much time and effort into protecting Bella? They had to have known that a half breed was one potential outcome of Bella and Edward being together. This makes no F-ing sense.
I hate myself for knowing this but it has never happened before, vampires are incapable of become pregnant and no human has ever survived matting with a vampire. (with the exception of that one dude in like the amazon)
 

octafish

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Wait what? David Lynch has a recurring role in The Cleveland Show? Truly the owls are not what they seem.
 

Kaisius

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Bob, I want to take this opportunity to thank you for taking this hit for me, and, in fact, for all of us. I haven't played a Mario game since the NES, but I have heard of the mythical, spiritual healing powers of the Tanooki suit. To deny yourself this healing so as to spoil a truly wretched movie is a debt we can never fully repay. Thank you.
 

Silent_Protagonist

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No offence Bob, but I'm a little mad at you. I mean, the movie "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" came out today (the 18th) and you chose to review Twilight? Majority of the people who have half a brain know that movie wont be any good.

You also mentioned Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy in your summer video of movies you couldnt wait to see!

Now, if you couldnt get a "Critics review" of it (because the studios didnt release it to reviews early) that's 100% fine. I retract my complaints; but if you COULD have reviewed it but chose Twilight instead, then all I can be is dissappointed.

OT: Good review though! Hit the nail on the head for much of the unimpressive series as a whole! :D
 

TJM8

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Another good review

sorry u had to put down ur game bob hah, thats the feeling i get everyday when i have to get off my computer where im literally roaming the countryside of skyrim hunting DRAGONS to go to my dead end job haha
 

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Ashoten said:
Wait. If the wearwolves despise a vampire/human hybrid then why did they invest so much time and effort into protecting Bella? They had to have known that a half breed was one potential outcome of Bella and Edward being together. This makes no F-ing sense.
There's a simple answer to this and it goes along the lines of "Stephine Meyers is a terrible writer".
 

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galaith100 said:
And Hellsing is the best argument Twilight-fans ever had to fight everyone complaining about smyrpires not being traditional (and where is the game, it's a better idea than Twilight VS Blade).

Do not know what vampires are (looks like you do)? watch Dracula.
HELLSING(the OVA) also has Vampire Nazis with Zeppelins. That alone makes it one of the best vampire-related things ever.